


Hot Mess

by lovealways21



Category: Twilight (Movies), Twilight Series - All Media Types, Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-26
Updated: 2013-09-23
Packaged: 2017-12-21 09:10:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 27
Words: 93,186
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/898510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovealways21/pseuds/lovealways21
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One argument changed Bella and Jacob's lives entirely. Now the only thing they can think about is each other. Even worse, they can not stay away. It seems that they're caught up in the kiss of best friends with benefits. And all the while they're trying to hide what's going on from a pack of wolves and a coven of vampires; all of whom would NOT be okay with what's going on between them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Is there some sort of anonymous group for writers who have too many ideas running through their heads? Because if so, then I need the name or it because I, or better yet, my muse really needs to be signed up. Yep. I've started another one. Fear not, though, my other ones will still be continued. This one will just be my when I have time and need to get rid of some certain frustration and need to let it out update fic. Or maybe I'll just update it every week or so. I'll see how things go with my other stories. All I know is this fic is my muse's way of getting me to work on my smut writing
> 
> So, with that being said...if you don't like, then don't read. And, if you do, then read and let me know what you think. Thanks!
> 
> Disclaimer: I own nothing associated with Twilight. I only own the plot and my own pervy-ness. lol!

Today was just like any other day. Or at the very least it was like any other day I'd been going through for the past month or so. Ever since that one argument between Jacob and I, our lives had changed drastically. We weren't just "Jake and Bells best friends" like we were at one point. Oh, no. We were much more than that. We were "Jake and Bells best friends with benefits."

Who would have ever thought that I, Isabella Marie Swan, would be caught up in the kiss of best friends with benefits with Jacob Black? Certainly not me; especially given the fact that I was still currently dating his mortal enemy. Yeah, that's right. I was hooking up with Jake and still dating (if it could even be called that anymore) Edward as well.

It was completely awful of me to be doing, right? I never thought that I'd ever be this type of girl. Not to make any excuses because nothing could ever truly excuse me for my actions, I just honestly could not help myself. There's not really a way to explain it in a way that would make any of what had happened and was happening now sound like I wasn't completely to blame for it.

Anyways, like I was saying before I got off track with some of my secret guilt...today was basically like any other day. For the past month the days had more or less consisted of me and Jake meeting up in random places to hook up because ever since that one argument we just couldn't keep our hands to ourselves and our thoughts off of each other.

To be honest, this day was slightly different than the rest. We hadn't exactly made it to some random place tonight. We had only gotten as far as my bedroom, which was probably one of the worst places to secretly meet up in for so many reasons. But like I said, neither Jake nor I could seem to keep our hands off of each other lately. Therefore, my bedroom was just gonna have to do today. And that it did.

At the moment, we were both completely naked laying on my bed. Jacob on the bottom. Me on top. Yeah, I know what you are probably thinking. Jacob Black, the guy who is one day in the future to be the alpha wolf aka the most dominant by nature, on the bottom? Hard to believe, right? Well, honestly, it is not that hard to believe. No, really, it isn't.

We usually take turns. One time, he is the one that's on top. The next time, I am the one who is on top. Or more so whoever starts it gets to be on top. It's like a seesaw of sexuality. Me. Him. Me. Him. Back and forth. It works for us. Besides no one likes the same things all the time. It's nice to switch it up every so often. It keeps things fresh.

And now I am back to reality again. My thoughts interrupted and thrown right out the window when I felt Jacob's hands tightly grip my hips and lift me up. Moments later, I was being placed down onto him at an antagonizing and slow pace. Slow and steady was not going to win this race at this rate. Although, it still felt so good and he wasn't even filling me completely yet.

You would think with how many times we'd done this already that I'd be use to it by now. But, nope. Not even close. Each and every time it felt like new, like it was the first time...well, okay, second time since the first wasn't exactly the best considering the circumstances. But that was a good thing because that meant that us being together like this would never get old and we wouldn't ever have to worry about a bland sex life like some couples eventually did.

Just as I was seated fully on him, I heard my name loudly being called.

"Bella!"

I quickly realized that it wasn't Jacob calling out my name.

"Oh, shit!" I managed to get out when I realized who was calling me.

Jacob and I both froze instantly staring at each other with wide eyes.

"Jacob, we have been made! Abort! Abort!" I exclaimed quietly, out of nowhere, climbing off of him quickly.

In other situations, my random out burst would've had both Jacob and I on the ground laughing our asses off. But this situation was different than the previous ones we'd managed to accidentally encounter. This was a much worse situation.

Then the door suddenly opened. And the situation we were in got even worse than much worse.

" _Well, it was nice knowing you Jacob Black because your minutes left in this world are now numbered_ ," I thought to myself, sounding a lot more humorous than I probably should have in at the moment now.

I mean this was all mostly my fault. It was. Right? Sort of my fault maybe?

While waiting for Jacob's and possibly my own impending deaths depending on how angry the person at the door was, maybe a look back at the events of the last month would be able to clear up just who is the one to really blame? Me? Jacob? Or both of us?


	2. Chapter 1 - How It All Began

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Sexual content and some cursing in this chapter. Turn back now if you think or know it'll offend you in some way.

_One month earlier..._

It was a muggy, rainy afternoon when I decided to go see Jacob in La Push. Edward was out of town hunting with the rest of the Cullen's for the weekend, so I was free. I had no plans myself for the weekend, therefore I finally had the chance to go visit Jacob. I hadn't seen or heard from him in over a week, which I think I knew the reason for and that's why I hadn't tried to call or see him for the entire week. But now I was chomping at the bit to see and talk to him again, and I couldn't bare to stay away from him any longer. After all, he was my best friend.

To be honest, having had to go the whole entire week without seeing him or hearing his voice had made me feel so much like a part of me was missing during the time that we spent apart. Ever since Edward left me and I spent so much time growing closer to Jacob, in an unexplainable way, he had become a part of me. A part of me that I couldn't seem to live without for too long. But there was a problem with that. Edward was also a part of me that I couldn't live without. And he returned with me after I saved him in Italy. Given the fact that Jacob and Edward are mortal enemies, my feelings for them both had left me at an impasse. An impasse that ended with me choosing Edward, all the while I had been hoping that I could somehow keep Jacob as my best friend still.

I was reluctantly aware that I was probably being too hopeful. I already knew that the members of the pack weren't exactly my biggest fan right now. None of them understood, or even wanted to understand for that matter, why I had chosen Edward. They all felt as if I had betrayed them all. I knew this for a fact because they told me themselves. It was actually half of the reason why I didn't call or try to see Jacob until now. The pack and Jacob were basically a packaged deal.

When I went to see him at the end of last week, the pack intercepted me and pretty much told me that I was not wanted in La Push. The worst part of what they told me was that Jacob didn't want anything to do with me for a while. That part hurt the most. As much as I had wanted to argue with them, I knew that they were right about it. Jacob needed some time to come to terms with the fact that I had chosen Edward over him; seeing me right then would've only made the situation even worse than it already was.

A week had passed now since then. I couldn't not see or hear his voice any longer, which is why I was going to La Push; I was determined not to be turned away again. And if I was, then I was going to let my stubbornness be my guide this time and I was fully prepared to refuse to go away until I saw Jacob. I just hoped that a week was enough time to help him cool off and hate me a little less than how much he had when I had told him the news of me choosing Edward over him. I could honestly only hope.

Usually Jacob couldn't stay mad at me for too long. I really did hope that this time wouldn't be any different from all the other times. Although, given the situation at hand, I wouldn't be surprised if this time turned out to be the exception of him usually forgiving me quickly. At least this way, I shouldn't be taken by surprise too terribly much if I did show up only to have him ignoring me or yelling at me or whatever he'd do.

I pulled into the driveway and parked where I usually parked when I came over. Turning off my truck, I sat there for a bit as I further readied myself for whatever I was about to walk into. Taking a huge gulp of breath and breathing it out slowly, I got out of my truck and began my slow and nervous walk to the garage where I could faintly hear the sounds of Jacob working on something coming from. I felt a ping of sadness as I got closer to the barn and realized that this time was unlike all the other times already. Jacob wouldn't be running out to greet me with one of those tight Jacob bear hug and spins that I had come to look forward to every time I came to visit him.

I was now aware that this was not going to end as well as I hoped. It seemed that a week wasn't enough time after all. But I was already here, so there would be no turning back. I was going to have to face whatever Jacob threw at me. And I would probably deserve every single bit of it. I would also take it in stride. Maybe getting everything off of his chest to the source of the pain itself would aid in helping him calm down and get over it faster. I was willing to make that sacrifice if it would help him in even the slightest bit. No matter how much it may hurt me in the process of doing so. At the moment, it wasn't about me anymore as much as it was about helping Jacob come to terms with everything.

Taking a deep breath, I rounded the corner and stepped into the doorway of the garage. Looking around, my eyes were instantly glued on Jacob who was halfway under the Rabbit. I was about to announce my presence, but at the last minute I decided against it. Surely with his wolf hearing and all, he would've heard my truck when I pulled up. He'd know I was here without me even saying anything. And I was now pretty sure that I knew what I was walking into and I was no longer completely sure that I was ready for it just yet. So I would wait and let him decide when to come out from under the Rabbit and talk to me. The ball was currently in his court.

I walked slowly and cautiously into the garage and made my way over to an overturned milk carton and sat down. I wasn't really sure how long Jacob would take to acknowledge me, but I was willing to wait however long he was in the mood to _Ok_ make me wait for. I had nothing better to do today. And I so badly wanted my best friend to not hate me anymore. I couldn't just force him not to so I'd have to wait patiently for him to make the next move. It would be my way of proving to him that despite what had happened between us as of late, I was not going to go anywhere anytime soon. I was here to stick it out through all of the good as well as the bad.

I'm not sure exactly how long it was for sure but if I had to guess I would say it was about half an hour before Jacob came out from under the car. He saw me instantly by didn't acknowledge my presence with any words. He simply got up and walked over to the work bench with his tools in hand and put them down. I watched him as he leaned forward against the work bench as he obviously thought hard about something, bracing himself with his palms flat against the bench. I couldn't help but think that it probably had something to do with me. I wanted so badly to say something to him. But like I said earlier, the ball was completely in his court. He would break the silence first when he was ready to break the silence. This wasn't about me or what I wanted. Well, not exactly. In a way it was, but for the most part it was about Jacob.

"Why are you here, Bella?" Jacob asked, causing me to jump, as he turned around and leaned backwards against the work bench.

"I, uh...I came to see you," I answered with a stutter.

I had prepared myself for whatever Jacob threw at me, or I had thought I had done so. It seemed like I had not prepared myself enough because the tone of his voice sent shivers up and down my spine.

His tone of voice was all but kind when he spoke up again. "Let me guess, your boyfriend's not around so you came here to use me to see if I'd help fill the void for you."

My eyes damn near popped out of their sockets. This was not the Jacob I knew at all.

"I...I..."

I honestly did not know what to say back to him.

"There's no need," Jacob said, pushing off of the work bench and beginning to pace in front of it. "Why are you always making this harder on me?" Jacob asked, his voice and words all full of accusation.

"I'm not," I said defensively when I found the ability to form more words than just "I" again.

"Yes, Bella, you are." Jacob gritted his teeth, stopped pacing, and stalked up to me. "You made your choice and yet you keep coming back here to me knowing very well how I feel about you."

"Jake...I..."

Jacob held up a hand to silence me. "No, don't feed me anymore of your BS, Bella."

What no Bells anymore?

"Jacob, please."

He shook his head no. "Just go, Bella. Leave now!"

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Was he like...it felt like he was breaking up with me.

"Jake, what are you..."

"Bella, just go! Now," Jacob said sternly.

I swallowed the lump in my throat and looked up at him, refusing to move.

"Why are you suddenly being like this?" I asked, dumbfounded.

"Being like what, Bella? All I'm doing is protecting myself from having my heart crushed by you anymore than I already have!"

That last part got me real good. All of a sudden, it felt like someone had punched me in the stomach repeatedly with a baseball bat. Oh god. What had I done? I was hurting Jacob more than I ever wanted to. Just me being here was hurting him even more.

"Go live your life with that leech and leave me out of it. Just forget I even existed and I'll do the same for you!" He told me as he turned away from me. "Well, as much as I can forget you."

I don't know why exactly but after Jacob said that, something inside me broke. I wasn't sad or feeling guilty anymore; I was angry. It wasn't even the leech part of the sentence that made me mad. It was the "forget about me and I'll forget about you" part that angered me. How could he do such a thing to me? He promised on more than one occasion that he'd never do anything to hurt me. Yes, okay, I was being extremely selfish right now. I am woman enough to admit to that. I hurt him so much, but it didn't mean he had to come right back and hurt me as well; that was just so cruel. Mine was unintentional; his was almost like he was doing it on purpose.

"Seriously, Jake?!" I snapped. "How did you manage to turn this into something that it wasn't?"

"Oh, I'm sorry," he fake apologize, his voice laced with sarcasm. "Was it wrong of me to expect you to be here just to use me until your leech comes home?"

"That is total bullshit, Jake! And you freaking know it!" I exclaimed.

"Do I now?" he asked smirking, not a normal Jacob smirk, but an evil smirk; a smirk that was kind of like the one Paul would wear whenever he saw me, the "I truly hate you, you leech lover" smirk.

"All I wanted was to come spend the day with my best friend. But since he wants to be such an ass about it, I guess that's not going to happen," I hissed at him.

"Yeah, I guess not!" Jacob agreed with me, still wearing that angry, evil smirk on his face that I wanted nothing more than to smack off; but I knew I'd only hurt my own hand if I did that.

Therefore, I did the next best thing that I could think of.

"You know what?! Screw you, you asshole!" I said, gritting out my words through harshly clenched teeth while turning and angrily stomping a beeline for the door.

Jacob was quick to catch up to me, grabbing my arm and spinning me around right into him. I gasped at the closeness, as our chests pressed together. His bare chest meeting my own chest, separated only by a lousy t-shirt and a thin plain white bra. I looked up slowly without thinking and his breath was suddenly hot on my face. A shiver ran up and down my spine, especially when it actually dawned on me just how close his face was to mine. Our lips were literally only inches apart.

"We can easily arrange that," he breathed out, causing me to suck in a breath of my own.

I didn't have to be a genius to realize what he was talking about. Oh god. This was not happening. This was so not happening. What was he thinking? One moment, he's angry with me and the next he's twisting my words into their obvious possible double meanings? What the hell was he doing this for? He was definitely doing it on purpose for some reason that I couldn't figure out.

"Jake," I said quietly, trying to make it sound like a warning but it instead came out as a lust filled moan at the thought of what he had just implied.

Holy crow. What was I doing? Now it was more of a "what was I thinking?" situation. This was Jake. My best friend, Jake. Well, okay fine. This was my currently on the rocks best friend, Jake. Yet I was slowly turning into some common whore who was thinking about possibly cheating on her boyfriend with her best friend who just so happened to be her boyfriend's mortal enemy.

Wait a second. Cheat on? What the...where was my mind going? No, no. Bad, Bella. Very bad. Don't even think such things. You have a boyfriend. Who you love. Who gives you everything you could ever ask for. Well, not everything. Not the one thing you've wanted more than anything lately. Yet here's your best friend offering you exactly what you have wanted all along. Maybe the circumstances were not the absolute best, but they're as close as you're going to get anytime soon.

Wait. How could I be so sure that Jacob was being serious? He wouldn't put himself in a position like this. Would he really let me use him like that? No, of course, not. That's not at all the Jake I know. He's definitely bluffing. He's got to be. Well, there is only one way to find out for sure. I would have to call his bluff. I could do this. Yes, I truly could.

Inner pep talk time. You can do this, Bella. You can play this game just as well, it not better than even he can. Go ahead and show Jacob that you are just as good at these mind games as he is. Prove to him that you are most definitely not a push over. There is more to you than even he knows. It is time to go ahead and call his bluff.

"Okay," I said as serious as I possibly could manage to say it.

He raised an eyebrow. "Okay?"

I nodded my head yes. "Okay," I reiterated as confirmation.

"You're serious?"

"Are you?"

"I asked you first."

"Yeah, so? What is your point exactly?"

"You have no idea what you're asking of me, Bella."

Wait. Why was he not backing down now? Why was he talking like he's actually being serious? Oh shoot. I was wrong about this, wasn't I? He really was not actually bluffing after all, was he? Darn it, Bella! Why do you always get yourself stuck in situations such as this one?

"Yeah, I probably don't," I found myself saying without thinking it through. "But I am willing to find out.

Whoa now! Where did that come from?

"You are?"

"Umm...I don't know. I think. Maybe."

_Okay, Bella, pick and answer. There can only be one true answer. Multiple answers in this situation is only going to add a lot more confusion than there already is._

"You were suppose to be bluffing about this."

"What?" he asked me, confused.

"I said you were suppose to be bluffing. We _shouldn't_ be in this situation right now. We _wouldn't_ be in this situation right now if you had just been bluffing."

"You thought I was bluffing?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "Yeah, I kind of did."

"Of course, you did." Jake chuckled, shaking his head.

I took offense to that.

"What's that suppose to mean?" I snapped, yanking my arm away from his hold. "You jerk!" I exclaimed, deciding I wasn't even going to give him a chance to explain as I turned quickly to try to leave again.

Once again, Jacob grabbed my arm and spun me around. Except this time he spun me right into a heated kiss. My first instinct was to struggle against it. I knew this was wrong. I was dating Edward. I had chosen Edward. Jacob was just my best friend now. That's all he was. That is all he would stay as. Yet if that were really the case, then why did I stop struggling so quickly? After only a few moments of trying to back out because I didn't want to knowingly cheat on my boyfriend, I stopped struggling against Jacob and allowed myself to get caught up in the kiss. I no longer cared much too think about the possible consequences of my actions.

The kiss was so heated and passionate. It was mind-blowing and earth-shattering. It was so much different than what I was used to with Edw...I was suddenly flung back into reality. Oh, no. What was I doing? This wasn't right. Pull away, Bella. Pull away now before it's too late.

I put my hands on Jake's chest fully prepared to push him away and pull away myself at the same time. Succeeding do so was clearly not in the cards. I felt his tongue run back and forth along my lower lip asking for entrance into my mouth and my previous actions were stopped abruptly. I was gone again from any chance of following common sense and doing the right thing.

My mind was on a one way trip to a far away land. A far away land where there would only be me and Jacob. Oh yeah, and time. A lot of time. All the time in the world to just make out with Jacob. I would be content to live a life of just me and him and making out because kissing Jacob was _that_ amazing. It could easily become my ultimate favorite pastime for everything.

With a sigh followed by a moan, I parted my lips granting Jacob's tongue entrance to my mouth. My whole body suddenly felt like it was on fire. The longer I kissed Jacob, the more intense everything got. I don't know what overcame me at that point, but kissing Jacob was not enough anymore. I needed more. I wasn't sure what exactly I needed, but I knew I needed more of something.

All coherent thoughts were out on vacation somewhere or something like that because I honestly couldn't put my finger on it. It was frustrating me to no end not knowing what I wanted. I hated not knowing what I wanted. I should've been completely in use with my own personal wants and needs.

I panted against Jake's lips. "Need more."

Maybe he could provide some assistance as to what exactly I wanted. I obviously wasn't getting anywhere on my own.

"More what?" he asked, not once did he pull away from me.

"Don't...know...need...more," I answered between kisses. "Not...enough." I was practically in frustrated tears now. "I...need..." Goodness, gracious. I couldn't even form a coherent thought.

Without a word, Jacob hoisted me up so that I instinctively wrapped my legs around his waist. It was then that the pieces of the puzzle were put together and I realized what it was that I needed. I could feel the bulge in his shorts and it was pressing against me in just the right spot. It suddenly dawned on me just how wet I was. And I was getting wetter the more I thought of where Jake's hard on was pressed. Gah! We weren't even moving and I was sure I was already on my way to getting off. Is that even possible? Surely if we kept this position up, I would be finding out he answer soon enough.

"That...that's it, Jake," I panted, breaking the kiss momentarily to get some air.

"What is, Bells?" Jake asked, moving his lips to my neck causing me to moan at the contact.

The reappearance of his nickname for me had me grinning from ear to ear.

Instead of answering his question with words, I grinded myself against him and we both gasped.

"That," I whimpered into his ear, grinding against him again. "Yes," I moaned at the amazingly delicious contact.

"Don't do that, Bells. If you keep that up, I'm gonna cum before..."

I grinded again, shutting him up before he could finish his sentence. I couldn't help but smirk at the sudden power that I had over him. It was thrilling.

"Damn, Bells," he said against my neck, the vibrations of his voice heading straight down to my core making me squirm in pleasure.

I didn't even realized that Jake had moved us to the Rabbit until I was being thrown backwards onto the back seat. I groaned at the loss of contact. But then sighed happily when Jake crawled in on top of me and placed himself back between my legs. This time the positioning wasn't as perfect as when we had been standing and my legs were wrapped around his waist. But I was not going to complain. It was still good enough that I wasn't crying out with frustration.

"Please," I begged for more, lifting my hips to meet his. "So, so good." I groaned. "Give me more, Jake," I said, reaching my hands up to grab his head and pull him back down to me, smashing our lips together in a bruising teeth and tongue kiss.

I about damn near jumped out of my own skin when his hands found their way to my breasts. I could feel my nipples suddenly standing erect as Jacob kneaded them through my shirt and bra. God, it felt so good.

I parted my lips and his tongue found it's way back into my mouth. Our tongues wrestled for dominance, which I'll be honest...I may have won, but I'm pretty sure that Jake let me. But I would take it. Right now I could care less who won or lost whatever. I just needed Jake. But more of him. Dry humping Jacob was suddenly not enough for me anymore. I suddenly had the urge to touch him. I don't know where the urge came from, but I wasn't exactly in the right state of mind to question it further.

With a confidence that I didn't even know I had, my hands found their way down to the button on Jacob's cut off shorts. I struggled with the button for a couple of seconds before I finally got it open and stuck one of my hands inside. Jacob froze on top of me as soon as my hand touched him. Why was I not surprised he wasn't wearing anything underneath the cut offs?

He pulled away from me moments later. "Bells, you do not have..."

"But I want to," I told him, lifting my head to kiss him again. "Let me."

He nodded and whispered a silent okay against my lips.

I smiled and slowly began to move my hand up and down his cock, memorizing every single detail of how he felt against my hand. I made sure to brush my thumb over the head spreading the pre-cum that had gathered there. I had never done this before and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a bit nervous about doing this. But the way he was groaning and moaning above me was enough to egg me on.

One of my hands wasn't enough to touch all of him so I slipped my other hand inside touching the part of him that my first hand didn't reach. In tandem I moved them up and down his cock, moving faster and faster the more he panted and moved against me.

Before long his breathing was getting harsher and harsher and my hands were no longer doing the work. I kept my hands as tightly wrapped around him as I could as he continuously thrusted into them. I moaned against him when he started thrusting his tongue into my mouth in tune with his thrusts into my hand. I was just as much a wreck as he was at that point and I wasn't even being touched.

I was growing wetter and wetter in between my legs and I rubbed my thighs together trying to create some friction. It wasn't much, but it was just enough so that I could hold out from screaming out in my own frustration. I'm sure he'd repay me for doing this soon; I could wait that long.

I could feel Jake's cock pulsing in my hand and I knew he was close to coming. I decided to be more help again and moved my hands while he continued thrusting. It added more friction for him and after a few more thrusts and pumps of my hands, I suddenly felt something sticky all over my hands.

Spotting a towel on the floor of the car, I reached down and picked it up to wipe my hands off. A part of me was screaming in disgust that I should be repulsed at the sticky situation I had gotten myself into. But a bigger part of me was doing the snoopy dance because I was the one who caused this reaction from Jacob. I felt so very proud of myself in this moment. It was the best feeling of satisfaction that I could ever remember feeling.

My satisfaction was cut off when I felt Jacob's breath against my mouth.

"Your turn now," he grinned against me, leaving a trail of kisses down the side of my face to my neck.

Already? This soon?

"How are you..." I started to ask.

He cut me off already knowing what I was about to ask. "Wolf stamina remember?" He smirked.

I chuckled. "Of course, how could I possibly forget?"

"Obviously, pretty easily," he teased.

"Haha, you're so fu..." I was cut off instantly when his hand trailed down my side and only stopped when it was at the button of my jeans. "Don't you dare tease me right now," I said when he made no other move to unbutton my jeans.

The pool of wetness and the throbbing between my legs was almost unbearable now. I needed contact. Not teasing.

"What do you say?" he asked as he smirked against my neck.

"Jake." I gritted my teeth.

He pulled away and looked up at me. "What. Do. You. Say. Bells?" he asked huskily, the tone of his voice only adding more wetness between my legs and making the throbbing worse.

Bells did it. He was calling me Bells again and I was so relieved about it.

"Please," I breathed out.

"Good girl."

And I was so sure that I'd cum right then and there from those two words. Just the way he had said them. My, oh, my. All other thoughts were quickly lost when Jacob finally unbuttoned and unzipped my jeans. I squirmed in anticipation of what I knew was going to come next.

"Lift," Jacob ordered as he tugged at my jeans.

I obliged and lifted my hips so he could pull them off of me. Due to the fact that we were in the backseat of the Rabbit, my jeans didn't get as far as below my knees before they couldn't be pulled off anymore. That fact frustrated me because I couldn't spread my legs. That just wouldn't do. I struggled for a few moments to get the jeans down my legs a bit more to the point where I could kick them off. After a few more moments of struggling, I finally managed to kick them off. Then I could finally spread my legs with a sigh of relief.

"Someone's in a hurry," Jacob teased, looking down at me with a big grin on his face.

I looked up at him through heavy lids and tried to glare at him. But judging by the chuckle that came out of his mouth, I was sure that my glare had failed miserably somehow. That did not make me happy. Let's see how you handle this one, Black. I grabbed one of his hands and brought it down to where I wanted it the most. Jacob's chuckle was cut sort when I placed his hand over my panties and he could feel how wet I was. Take that, Black.

"Damn, you're wet, Bells," he breathed when he finally found his voice again.

I swallowed, breathed in and out and then as seductively as I could I said, "Just for you."

"Why do you always have to do this to me, Bells?" he asked.

I opened my mouth to ask what he was talking about but didn't get the chance before he slipped a finger passed my soaking panties and into me with ease getting straight to it. All that came out of my mouth was his name. My hips bucked off the back seat. That was so much better than anything I'd ever done to myself. He had only put one finger in me and I was so sure that he had ruined me for all other's...including my own. Not that I could and probably ever would bring myself to complain about. I'd be out of my mind if I did.

I squirmed against Jake as he slid his finger in and out of me at such a slow pace that even the tortoise from the tortoise and the hare would be appalled by the pace.

"Not enough...another...more...faster." So many words poured out of my mouth and I wasn't sure which one I wanted more. Or was there a way that I could I get all of them at once.

"How do you ask?" he asked me, ceasing all movements suddenly...period.

I froze for a moment and looked up at him like he had suddenly turned into a serial killer from all of those horror movies. Was he really doing this? Now? Of all times? It took me a few seconds to realize exactly what this was. He was using this situation to punish me. To torment me in the only other way he could. Wow. I hadn't been aware that he had it in him.

"Bells," he said, using his nickname for me in a way that had me melting into him.

"Please, Jake," I pleaded.

"Please what?"

"God..."

"Not my name, but I'll take it," he said smugly.

I wanted to hit him for that, but I couldn't even if I tried. I don't know where my bluntness came from next, but I didn't have it in me to question it.

"Another finger, Jake. I need another finger." I panted. "Please."

He smirked down at me. "Since you asked so nicely..."

"Oh, Jake!" I exclaimed as he added another finger into me and moved them in and out of me at a faster pace then before. "Yes, yes, yes," I chanted, moving my hips to meet each thrust of his fingers. "So good." I moaned.

Bending down so that his mouth was leveled with my ear, Jake practically purred, almost making me come right then and there just from the sound of his voice, "So wet and warm. All for me, Bells?"

I nodded as his fingers continued to work their way in and out of me.

"Say it," he demanded.

"All for you, Jake!" I breathed out.

"Always for me," he spoke, nipping at my earlobe with his teeth.

I nodded again.

"Say it," he ordered.

"Always for you," I agreed.

"No one else. Ever."

"No one else. Ever," I repeated back to him. "Oh, god, Jake." This wasn't enough. "I need more."

"I know you do."

"Please, Jake. I need more," I all but cried out.

I half expected him to keep teasing me, but was pleasantly surprised when he didn't. Well, not exactly. He teased me enough to crawl off of me and kneel in between my legs.

"Can I taste you, Bells?" he asked.

Yeah, right. Like he really had to ask.

"Yes, please, yes," I answered, nodding my head frantically out of eagerness.

He looked up at me one more time and gave me a mischievous grin before lowering his head. Just as I felt his warm breath on me, he simultaneously curled his fingers inside me and I almost lost it again there. But I didn't. There was something keeping me from doing so, but I couldn't figure out what. What did it matter, though? I was enjoying this too much to care. As long as I came in the end, I didn't really care when or how it would happen.

"Do it now, Jake. Taste me now."

Where was this bluntness of mine coming from? My question was lost in my head when he did just what I told him to and sucked my bundle of nerves into his mouth. My hands, on their own accord, went to his hair tangling themselves in it pushing him closer to me. This was so much better than I ever would've expected. With my bundle of nerves in his mouth and his fingers inside of me at once I was so much closer to my orgasm than I'd ever been before.

Sensing my approaching orgasm, Jake sped up the pace of his fingers and added to the pressure of his tongue on me. I threw my head back against the door and instinctively wrapped my legs around Jake's head pulling him even closer to me than before. I was so, so close. I needed to cum like I needed air to breathe. So, so close. So good.

Jake's mouth and fingers continued to work together to push me into oblivion. I was stuck now between wanting to cum and never wanting him to stop. I'd be absolutely out of my mind to want this feeling to ever stop. It was perfect.

"Don't stop...so close, Jake...never stop." I panted as my head trashed from side to side while my impending orgasm grew closer and closer. "Almost there." I moaned. "Just a bit little more."

And then he bit down ever so softly on my clit and I was gone. I came so hard and so fast, chanting his name like it was the lyrics to my favorite, catchy song. "Jake! Jake! Jake!"

I don't think I had ever cum that hard in my entire life. Well, given that I was the only other person who ever touched me before, there wasn't too much to compare it too. I was pretty good at getting myself off, but wow. Jake was amazing. I'm pretty sure he was even better at getting me off than I am myself. And considering the things he could do to me that I couldn't, it seemed very likely that he really was.

When I came back down to reality from my earth-shattering high, I came face to face with a very pleased looking Jacob. Quite frankly, he had most definitely earned that look. Looking up at him and seeing my fluids all around his face should've probably repulsed me, but weirdly enough they didn't in even the slightest. I instead pulled him down to me, kissing him and tasting myself all over him. Oddly enough, it kinda turned me on again. There was something about tasting myself mixed with a taste that was just so Jacob that made my head spin. It was amazing in such a weird way. But, to be honest, I wouldn't have it any other way.

Our moment was interrupted when my cell phone suddenly rang from the pocket of my jeans.

"Don't answer it," Jacob said, trailing kisses from my lips to my cheek to my chin and all the way to my neck.

"I have to," I replied not wanting this moment to end, but knowing that it had to sometime; I also had a feeling that if I didn't stop this now, I probably never would. "Up, Jake," I said, pushing at him.

He pulled away and frowned. "Wait, let me get it."

I nodded my head. "Okay."

He retrieved my jeans and handed them to me.

I pulled my phone out of my pocket and as soon as I saw the name on the caller ID _(Edward)_ realization hit me like a ton of bricks. Oh, shit! The realization of what I had just done and with who I had just done it with set in and I panicked.

"Oh, god. I have to go now!" I exclaimed, pushing Jacob off of me and accidentally getting him partially wedged in between the front and back seats of the Rabbit.

"Bells," he said in the calmest voice I'd probably ever heard him speak in before. "Calm down. It's okay. Everything's gonna be fine."

"Are you serious, Jacob?!" I asked him, looking at him like he was insane; he may very well be with that reaction. "I just freaking cheated on my boyfriend with you and you're acting like we did nothing wrong!" I huffed while throwing my clothes on.

"Bells," Jacob said but I instantly cut him off before he could say anything else.

"No, don't!" I told him, pointing at him and shaking my finger as if I was scolding him. "This shouldn't have happened. This was wrong," I told him. "I...I have to go."

And with that I turned and bolted out the door.

I was going to hell for this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Of course, he had to call at a moment like that. Darn, him. I tell you, someone needs to get a better sense of timing. *sigh*
> 
> Wow, well, as you can tell, this chapter definitely got away from me. The lime scene in this chapter is only like my seventh time writing a sexual content scene and I think the second time I wrote an actual lime scene like that. Hmm...well, I hope I did it some justice.


	3. Chapter 2 - Best Friends With Benefits

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Sexual content and some cursing in this chapter. Turn back now if you think or know it'll offend you in some way.

Later that night, I was laying in the middle of my bed in the midst of sweat soaked sheets. I was sweating profusely, not in a bad way or anything. But instead it was more like sweating in the "I can't stop replaying the events from earlier in my head" way. All I could think of, no matter how hard I tried not to, was how Jacob's lips felt on mine...how they, along with his tongue, felt on another private part of me. And his fingers. Oh, god. His fingers. They felt amazing inside me. What I wouldn't give to feel them in me once again.

No, no, Bella. What are you thinking? Earlier was wrong. Oh, so wrong. You have a boyfriend...remember? A boyfriend you're suppose to be in love with. No! Better yet, a boyfriend you are in love with. Earlier shouldn't have happened and you know it. If it was possible to go back in time and make sure it didn't happen, you would because that'd be the right thing to do. Alright fine, maybe not. Right or wrong, no one in their right mind would ever want to forget a feeling like that.

Maybe if I got myself off now, I could get earlier out of my mind. The best way to get over someone else is to replace them, right? How could my own hand not be a perfect replacement? After all, no one can do me like I can do myself, right? Oh, please let me be right about this! I need to get at least some sleep tonight and being horny and wet isn't going to help me get to sleep anytime soon. Well, there's only one way to find out. Please, let this work. Please, I _need_ to get over this. I _have_ to get over this. As soon as possible. I'm pretty sure what was left of my sanity depended on it. My life was already crazy and confusing enough. I didn't need to have yet another thing constantly driving me more and more crazy.

My hand was just going to have to do. Or at least, I was hoping it would. I couldn't exactly go ask Jacob for help. I mean, he's the one I'm trying to forget about. Asking him for help would be the stupidest idea ever and negate what I'm wanting to accomplish. Asking Jacob for help would be like a person who was trying to lose weight asking for a jelly filled donut, just one last time. It would only succeed in making the situation worse than it already was. I couldn't purposefully put myself in that position. Could I? No, no, I couldn't. Stop it, Bella. Get yourself together already and get this over with. The sooner you get earlier out of your mind, the better. Alright, here goes nothing.

With a deep breath followed by a sigh, I slowly slid a hand under the waistband of my sleep shorts, my fingers making their own beeline path to my already swollen clit. I gasped at first touch and my eyes fluttered shut on their own accord. Turns out, my hope for my own hand making me forget about Jacob from earlier was exactly that...just a hope. As soon as my eyes were closed, his face popped up into my mind. Oh, god. That face. Those eyes. Those lips. Damn him. Why did he have to do this to me? Why'd he have to invade my senses like this? It shouldn't be him. He's my best friend for crying out loud. That's all. And yet here he was, the only thing I could see as I pleasured myself. This was just great.

This wasn't going to get me anywhere. Being stubborn was only going to prolong me getting myself to an orgasm. And that's the last thing that I needed to have to deal with right now. If picturing Jake was what it was going to take to get off and get rid of the throbbing between my legs that was keeping me from sleep, then so be it. But I just want to state for the record, Jacob Black is so going to get it the next time that I see him after this. I had a major bone to pick with him. He did this to me! _Him._ It's all his fault that I'm seeing him in such a moment. Him. _Those_ fingers. _That_ tongue. _Those_ slips. Oh, holy crow! I need help. I really, truly do.

Giving into my desires, I slipped my fingers past my swollen and throbbing clit and down to my opening. The whole time I was imagining that they were Jacob's fingers. Those skilled fingers that were half of the reason that I had such an intense orgasm earlier. If I was going to be honest with myself, it was by far the most intense orgasm I had ever felt in my entire life. Period. I couldn't deny that even if I tried. Well, I guess I could try to deny it. But it wouldn't get me very far since I'd always know the truth.

Two of my fingers found their way to my opening and slipped in with ease, aided by the wetness that was already pooling in between my legs. I moaned as I slipped them as far in as they'd go, and then pulled them out, just to shove them back in again. Oh, god. So good. This was so wrong. But it felt so right. I really wished that my fingers were Jake's. This is wrong. But damn. My fingers were nothing compared to his. They were smaller, not as fulfilling, and they just were not his own. My goodness. I'd been doing this to myself for years and now all Jacob had to do was fuck me with his fingers once and suddenly nothing else, not even my own fingers, compared anymore. Damn you, Jacob Black. Damn you good.

Despite my mixed feelings towards him at the moment, it was my picturing of Jacob that egged my fingers on. I quickened the pace of my fingers thrusting in and out of me and brought my free hand down to pinch and rub at my clit. But it didn't bring me nearly as much pleasure as Jake's fingers and tongue did earlier. My own hands and fingers were all I had to aid me in my release right now. So I'd have to take what I have and make the best out of them.

Rubbing and pinching my clit while thrusting my fingers in and out of me at a rapid pace, all I could think of was what it'd feel like to have Jake kneeling between my legs again bringing me to the brink of an orgasm so powerful that I was ruined, if that was even possible, more so than I already seemed to be. That earth-shattering and mind-blowing orgasm. Damn. I _wanted_ it again. I _needed_ it again. I _needed_ more. I _needed_ something that it seemed only Jacob could give me. Damn him. I was not even enough for myself anymore.

I don't think anyone else would ever be enough for me in that department anymore, not even Edward. After all, he was a 100 plus year old virgin. But, wait...Jacob's a virgin, too, isn't he? Oh, god. What if he wasn't? No, no, Bella. What does it matter whether he's a virgin or not, anyways? It is never going to happen again. Once you get Jacob Black out of your system completely, you'll go back to your normal everyday life with Edward. Yeah, exactly. Everything will go back to normal before I even realized that it was doing so. Edward would be back on Monday morning sometime and what Jacob and I did would be in my past. If only it was actually that easy.

But that was something for me to deal with later. Right now I needed to get with the program and get myself off already so I could finally get some much wanted and appreciated sleep. Hopefully along with my frustration at what had happened, my current sexual obsession with all things Jacob would go with it. Yeah, right. I could wish that all I wanted, but something told me that I was simply dreaming. Luck was never really on my side before now.

My thoughts were pleasantly interrupted by the tall tale signs of my orgasm quickly approaching. I sped up my thrusting and rubbing paces. Seconds later, my stomach and legs tightened and I was coming. Finally. Sweet, sweet release. But something was missing. The intensity and the strength of it was missing. This orgasm had nothing on the one I felt earlier with Jacob. Even though the orgasm wasn't what I would have liked it to have been, it was just enough to at least calm me down enough to finally go to sleep.

Still, though, mark my words. I swear on all that is holy that I'm paying him a visit tomorrow. And I'm going to give him a piece of my angry and frustrated mind. You better watch out, Jacob Black! You're officially at the top of my list.

**~HM~**

The next morning wasn't such a good morning for me. I woke up still frustrated, if not more than I was the night before. After a long, warm, and far from relaxing shower, where I had to get myself off twice just to be a little less frustrated and not ready to rip off anybody's head who I came in contact with. I had gotten dressed quickly in to a simple t-shirt, a pair of jean shorts, and sneakers. I went down to the kitchen, grabbed a granola bar, and headed straight to Jacob's.

I didn't run into Charlie at all so he must've either been fishing or at work. Either, or I didn't really care right now. I was just glad I didn't run into him and have to explain to him why I was being such a bitch today, which I knew I would be because that's what frustration makes me. Or any normal person, right? Anyways, I'm glad I got to miss that conversation. I can already imagine the screwed up, truthful version of how that talk would've went.

_"Bella, what is the matter with you today? You are not at all acting like yourself. You seem frustrated about something"_

_"Oh, nothing, dad. It's just that I just cheated on my boyfriend with my best friend yesterday and now my best friend is the only guy I can really think about...if you catch my gist. But, don't you mind me. Everything will work out just fine in the end."_

Yeah, because that wouldn't have been awkward at all. And it certainly wouldn't have ended with Jacob dead from a gunshot wound and me grounded until the day I die.

All I needed right now was to get to Jacob's and give him a piece of my mind like I said I would. He was in for it. I just hoped that Billy wasn't home. Otherwise, I'd have to postpone my need to go off on Jacob for the frustration he was causing me. One would think that because of how much I dealt with sexual frustration with Edward that I'd be use to it by now. But, for some reason, my sexual frustration over Jacob was far different than what I was dealing with when it came to Edward.

Maybe it was because Jacob and I had actually done something as opposed to me and Edward who haven't even gotten close to doing what Jacob and I did? Who knows really? All I did know was that it certainly hadn't made me a very happy camper, not even in the slightest of bits. There was just so much frustration a girl could take before she crossed the line that was her breaking point. And, oh boy, had I crossed mine. At this point, I think I was so far passed my breaking point line that I couldn't even see the line anymore.

By time I finally returned to reality, I was already getting out of my truck at Jacob's house. That was not safe. I'm lucky I didn't crash on the way over because I hadn't been paying enough attention to the road. Just as I slammed my driver's door closed and looked up, Jacob was standing there. He was leaning at a slant against the door frame with his arms crossed over his chest.

"Bella, what do I owe to this pleasure?" he asked with a smug smirk on his face.

"Is your dad home?" I asked in return, walking up to him.

He shook his head. "No, he had some tribal thing to deal with," he answered. "I think he said he won't be back until late tonight."

Knowing that, I pushed past him into the house.

"That's good," I muttered under my breath.

"You okay, Bells?" he asked followed by the sound of the door closing.

Bad move, Black. Now you're stuck with a very frustrated me and no way to make a quick exit. In an instant, I turned on my heel towards him. I was livid and so frustrated that it wasn't even funny. This was my chance to let it all out in a non-sexual way.

"You did this to me!" I accused, jabbing my finger into his shirt covered chest.

I frowned for a moment suddenly wishing that the shirt would just magically disappear. But then I immediately remembered the reason that I was there in the first place.

"You jackass!" I exclaimed.

"What exactly is it that you're accusing me of doing to you?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

Oh, yeah, right. As if he really hadn't the slightest idea as to what I was referring to.

"You, you...god, I just...I can't..."

Why won't the words come out for me? Jeez, Bella. You need to let the words out. Get them of your chest already as soon as possible.

"Can't what?"

I sighed. "It is not enough anymore."

"What's not enough? Could you please stop being so cryptic, Bells?"

Damn it, anyways! All of a sudden, before I could stop myself, I blurted out, "My hand!"

Jacob crinkled his forehead in confusion at my answer. "What about your hand?"

Really, Jake? Really? You're actually going to make me say it out loud. Oh, what the hell? I might as well.

"It's not enough. I can't...It's not the same anymore now. You...you ruined me!"

"Bells..." Jacob trailed off.

I was like a ticking time bomb of words that had just exploded. And now I couldn't stop the words of truth from spilling out of my mouth.

"I'm sick and tired of being so frustrated. And now... _now_...not even my own hand can help me." God, this was awful. "Three times! I've gotten myself off three times since yesterday, but none of them are enough!" I admitted.

Oh, wow. That was unexpected. Where did that come from?

"Oh, god. That wasn't...I...I shouldn't have said that," I said, avoiding eye contact with Jake at all costs; I was afraid of what expression I would find on his face.

There was a short pause in the room before Jacob broke it.

"Bells, do you think you'd let me do something for you?"

"Do what?" I asked quietly, my outburst from moments before having knocked me down a level or two.

"Let me..." he paused, almost as if unsure of what he was going to say next. "...take care of you," he finished.

My eyes snapped up to his as soon as the words left his mouth. I was met with eyes that were almost as black as coal. They weren't the normal brown I was use to seeing. They were more lusty. Oh, god. Did he mean what I think he meant?

"Take care of me?" I dared to ask.

He nodded and stepped closer to me.

I instinctively backed up a step away from him to keep the same distance between us as before.

He stepped forward again.

I took another step back.

We continued our own little version of the tango until I finally stepped right back into the wall and had no where else to go. Oh, god. This is not what I had in mind when I first came here.

"You know," he said, stepping his last step forward to effectively pin me to the wall. "Take care of you," he leaned forward next to my head and whispered huskily in my ear.

If I truly had any doubt about what he meant moments before, I surely didn't have anymore doubts now.

I wasn't even sure what I should say. "Oh, god. This is..."

"Shh...let me do this for you now...please," he said.

Say no, Bella. Say no. This isn't right. One time, without you realizing what you are doing, shame on the situation. Two times, this time knowing what you're doing, shame on you.

Giving into my frustration almost immediately instead of fighting it and throwing all inhibition out the window and going against everything my brain was telling me, with the help of the throbbing between my legs, I nodded my head and whispered, "O...okay."

I figured why not? I was already going to hell. Might as well truly make it worth my while.

"Hey, Jake," I said slowly as I remembered something from earlier that was bothering me quite a bit now that I had said goodbye to all of my inhibitions.

"Yeah?" he asked against my ear, causing a shiver to run up and down my spine.

"Would you please do me a favor first?"

He pulled back and looked at me with a smile. "Anything, Bells."

I tugged at the bottom of his shirt. "Take this off."

"Of course," he smirked and then seconds later the shirt was off and on the floor.

Yep, that's better. If I was actually going to hell, I was going to enjoy every single moment of the journey. And every single bit of the sculpted abs that were my own personal one way ticket to doing so.

**~HM~**

I don't even really recall the events that got us from there to here, but I'm sure they were nothing compared to now. Agreeing to let Jake take care of me had to be by far the smartest thing I had ever agreed to in my entire life. How had I gone 18 years of my life without this? Without Jake? Without Jake and this? If I had known this is what I was going to get there is absolutely no doubt in my mind that I would have most definitely given into him a lot sooner than now. I couldn't even imagine knowing how good he was and then still saying no to him. I'd have to be a classified brainless person do such a thing or even think of ever doing such a thing.

My hands gripped tighter and threaded themselves deeper into his hair as he worked me to heaven and back and then back up to heaven again and back and then constantly repeated the actions with his tongue and fingers. I wasn't sure I'd be able to go a single day without having him like this. My goodness. He was like a professional at this or something. If there was even such a thing or possibility of being such a thing.

With every thrust, every suck, every lick, I was closer and closer to another one of the earth-shattering and mind-blowing orgasms that I knew he could give me. No matter how much I wanted to deny it, I knew I couldn't. Only he had such a power as he did right now over my body.

As far as my body was concerned, I was his. Definitely his.

**~HM~**

One, two...or, however many mind-numbing orgasms later, I lost count; I was spent. Although, for the time being my sexual frustration was at bay. And for that I was extremely thankful.

"I bet I can make you admit that you're in love with me to before this month is over me," Jacob said, out of the blue, collapsing next to me on his bed.

"So, you are making this a game now?" I asked, turning my head to eye him questioningly.

Jacob shook his head quickly. "No, I am just simply stating a fact," he replied in a one hundred percent confident tone. "You know the more that this happens, the more your body realizes that it is me it wants. And before long your head and your heart will soon follow."

Trust me, I know. But I would not tell him that. That would defeat the purpose of my inner struggles to go back to the way things were. Even though I was fully aware that I was fooling myself more than anyone else if I actually thought I could ever go back to how things were.

I squinted my eyes at him and frowned slightly. "You seem so very sure of yourself."

Jacob shrugged his shoulders. "Maybe it is because I am sure of myself."

I rolled my eyes, shaking my head and chuckling softly at his confidence. "You're getting way in over your head, Jake."

He propped himself up on the bed, resting his head on his hand so that he was looking at me. "Am I?" he asked as if he had no prior idea of it.

I nodded my head. "Yes, you are."

His eyes, now back to their normal brown color, lit up like a Christmas tree and he smirked. "Let's test it then and see who's right," he challenged me.

"What exactly is it that you are suggesting, Jake?" I asked him with honestly no clue what he was thinking in that mind of his.

"Nothing unless you agree to it as well," he answered.

Yeah, that helps a lot.

"I can't agree to something I'm not aware of," I told him.

"Friends with Benefits," he said, wiggling his eyes at me in a suggestive manner.

I certainly did not see that one coming.

I thought about his proposition for some time before I spoke. "You know you're wrong about that."

"Wrong about what?"

"It wouldn't be friends with benefits."

"How so?"

"With us it'd be Best Friends With Benefits," I corrected his earlier statement.

He pondered the thought for a few seconds and then agreed with me. "That's true."

"Mm-hmm," I mumbled sleepily.

"So does this mean we have a deal?" Jacob asked curiously.

"Maybe."

Jacob cocked an eyebrow at me curiously. "Maybe?"

I nodded and sighed. "If I agree to this, then I will knowingly be cheating on Edward."

A moment of silence broke out between us.

"But..." I started and paused.

"But what?"

"But this may be one way to figure out what I truly want, once and for all."

"Thought you already did that by choosing that lee...Edward," he said, correcting himself right before he said the other thing.

"I thought so as well before yesterday. Yet here I am having this conversation with you after cheating on Edward with you for the second time."

"Sorry." He groaned after stating an obviously fake apology.

I scoffed and rolled my eyes at him. "Yeah, right. Do not even pretend like you are. We both know that you are not sorry."

Jacob didn't even try and deny it once I called him out on it. "You're right. I'm not sorry."

"Good," I said. "Let us just call this like it is. I'm the one making such a rash decision to knowingly cheat on my boyfriend, I should feel every bit of guilt that comes my way. It's what I deserve."

Jacob looked at me with a hopeful smile on his face. "It seems as if you've made up your mind."

I nodded my head in confirmation to his suspicion. "Yes, I have."

I looked away for a second and then back to Jacob.

"You've got a month of us being Best Friends With Benefits."

"I don't think I'll even need a month," he said smugly.

"Since when do you have such a big ego?" I asked, finding out that I couldn't help but giggle at his confidence.

"I have always had a big ego," he said, smirking down at me. "It just seems like you bring it out of me more than anyone or anything else."

"Isn't that just great," I sighed sarcastically.

"I think so," Jake gloated.

"Of course, you do."

"You know it."

We both got a laugh out of that.

"So how exactly are we going to go about this?" I asked, sitting up and turning around to reposition myself so that I was facing him.

"What do you mean?" he asked, sitting up, too.

"I mean, how is this all going to go? If we're really going to do this, we have to be quiet about it. I can pretty easily keep it from Edward and the Cullen's, but how are you going to keep it from the pack?"

"I can keep my thoughts to myself," Jacob said defensively.

"Maybe for now, but for how long?" I asked, crossing my arms tightly over my chest. "I'm sure if the pack knew about us...this...whatever this is, they wouldn't be very understanding and happy about it."

"Why wouldn't they?"

"Because they hate me," I said with a hint of sadness sneaking its way into my tone; I tried to keep it at bay as much as I could.

Jacob looked at me with a confused expression on his face. "They don't hate you? Why would you think that they hate you?"

"Because they told me," I answered him. "Well, they didn't actually say they hated me per say," I corrected myself. "I just figured they did when they told me how betrayed they felt about me choosing...I just figured since you seemed to hate me that they did, too. Except they just weren't afraid of showing it."

"By no means does the pack hate you, Bella. Nor do I hate you any either," Jake said, rubbing soothing circles and other patterns on my back.

I sighed and looked at him giving him a brief smile. "Thank you. It makes me feel a little better to hear that coming from you." Honestly, it really did. "But I still think we should do everything we can to keep this between just us."

"Okay, that's fine."

"I mean, the pack may not hate me but I'm pretty sure they wouldn't approve of what we're agreeing to right now when I'm still with..." I stopped abruptly, refusing to say anymore since I knew that if I did that I'd back out of this deal of ours so quick and both Jacob and I would suffer immensely from it.

"Understood."

"Not to mention, sneaking around is fun, am I right?" I said with a mischievous grin on my face.

Jacob laughed. "That it is."

"So this whole BFWB thing...do we just call each other any time one of us needs a release or something?" I asked as I got up to get dressed.

Jacob shrugged, leaning back against the wall watching me. "Sounds good to me."

I paused from getting dressed and looked back at him, frowning at his answer.

"Not a surprising answer," I muttered under my breath before looking back at the task at hand as I returned to getting dressed.

"What was that? What are you suppose to mean by that?" he questioned, grabbing my arm and making me turn to face him.

I shrugged my shoulders. "You get sex. It's common sense that you wouldn't care how it happened," I blurted out before I could stop myself.

He frowned at me. "Are you serious, Bells?"

"What?" I asked as I honestly did not understand his offense to my comment.

"You are wrong about that," he told me.

"About what?"

"It is not the sex I care about," he admitted. "I get you. That's the main reason I brought up the friends with..."

I felt the need to correct him and cut him off. "Best friends."

Jacob nodded. "Oh right, sorry. Best friends with benefits idea. It is because I get you by going through with it. The sex is just an added bonus."

Aw. Now if that wasn't the sweetest thing I'd ever heard. It was comments like that which made it just a little bit harder for me to already begin to regret agreeing to this like I knew I would have if the situation were different than it was now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And, now you know how Jacob and Bella became BFWB's!


	4. Chapter 3 - Second Thoughts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Sexual content and some cursing in this chapter. Turn back now if you think or know it'll offend you in some way.

If I had to pick the most eventful and also confusing weekend of my entire life, I would have to pick this one.

Friday;

I went to see Jacob, we got into an argument, and we fooled around some.

Saturday;

I went to confront Jacob, we fooled around some again, and then we made a deal to be best friends with benefits.

Sunday;

Well, today was Sunday. And it was only half way done. So I knew right away when I woke up this morning that I wouldn't be going to see or confront Jacob about anything; That was for sure. Why? Well, because I was beginning to see a pattern. Yep. And that pattern consists of each time I go to see Jacob for any reason something more intimate happens. So that was out of the question today. Definitely out of the question.

Yeah, I know I agreed to the best friends with benefits deal. But now that I had the chance to really think about it, which was all night last night and all morning this morning...was agreeing to that really a good idea like I originally thought it was? I mean, seriously? I'm dating Edward. I love Edward. I love Jacob as well, of course. But I love him as simply my best friend. Right? But if I love him truly as just my best friend then that wouldn't answer the whole question of why do I keep fooling around with Jacob if I just love him as a best friend and nothing more? It makes no sense. If someone loves someone as just a best friend then that someone doesn't usually fool around with said best friend. It's common sense.

Anyways, maybe agreeing to being best friends with benefits wasn't such a good idea after all. When I agreed to it, I was in a post orgasm state of bliss. Of course it makes sense that I'd agree to it then. I mean, it's obvious that I wasn't in my right mind at the time. I'm sure if Jacob had brought up the idea of best friends with benefits at any other normal time, I would have said no instantly without even having to think about it. But he didn't catch me at a normal time. So there. That explains it all. Next time I see him, I'll just have to set everything straight. No more letting my body do my decision making for me. It only seemed to get me into trouble whenever I did.

My new way of thinking was quickly put to the test this morning when I got a call from Jacob around nine or so. He said he wanted to see me and I knew instantly what he meant by that. We had only just agreed to being best friends with benefits the day before and he was already trying to cash it in. If only he knew that I had rethought about it over night.

I tried so hard to think of an excuse to say no. But nothing came to me. I was so close to caving in and agreeing to see him knowing my whole new way of thinking would end up biting the dust. But just before I did, as if luck was on my side today, another call came through while I was talking to him. I had quickly put Jacob on hold and answered it. Lucky for me, it was a call from my boss at work asking me if I could come in for a couple of hours. I was ecstatic and said yes right away. Then I hung up and switched back over to the call with Jacob and told him that work had called and that I had to go in.

It was now going on two in the afternoon and my shift was almost over. I glanced over at the clock every few seconds hoping that the saying "a watch pot never boils" made sense when it came to time as well. Hopefully the more I looked at the clock the slower time would go by. I was not ready to be free from work yet. Being free from work would mean that the possibility of facing Jacob would become higher. I wasn't ready to talk to or see Jacob again yet. To be honest, I was afraid of how long I could keep up with my new way of thinking when I knew very well how my body had reacted to him in the past two days. I didn't know whether to trust myself or not. If I had to choose one or the other, I would go with not trusting myself.

I was suddenly brought back to reality when I heard my name being called.

"Bella!"

"Yes?" I asked, turning my head towards where Mike stood at the front door.

"You can go now," he said with a small smile.

I turned my head to look over at the clock and frowned. He was right. I was off now. I turned back to Mike and smiled. "Okay. Thank you."

He nodded and smiled back.

"Do you want me to close up?" I asked him.

"That would be great. Thank you, Bella."

"You're welcome."

"I will see you at school tomorrow."

I nodded and waved goodbye as he left.

With a sigh, I started getting ready to reluctantly leave as I realized that I no longer had an excuse to hide behind if Jacob showed up or called to meet up with me again. I would just have to hope that I was strong enough to say no to him the next time I saw or heard from him. Chances are, I'd fail miserably at managing to do that. But that doesn't mean I wouldn't try as hard as I could to fight myself over it.

I mean, how hard can it truly be to beat temptation? It was only my body I had to fight. My mind and heart were on the right page right now. It was two against one. But, ha. Yeah, right. As if I didn't already know the answer to that as well as the fact that my body had more control over me than my heart and mind combined at times. I was always throwing myself on Edward only to get turned down because it was too dangerous to go any farther. And then there was the temptation of Jacob the other day and I caved from just one kiss. I already knew how hard temptation was to beat. No matter how stubborn I could be, temptation was more stubborn.

Closing the door and locking the shop up, I turned around to head to my truck. As soon as I turned, I wanted to back track. I saw _him_ standing there, leaning back against his bike. I gasped, having not expected to see him there. Seriously? That's just great. What were the chances that he'd show up just as I was leaving? Why was he even here? How did he know when I was getting off work? Had he been here the whole time waiting for me to get off work and leave? Knowing him, that wasn't such a far off possibility. Oh, god. Now that I really thought about it, that's probably exactly it. He had been here waiting for me...this whole entire time. Hours of waiting.

When he saw me looking at him, he smirked.

My breath caught in my throat as he pushed off the bike and started to make his way towards me. I tried as hard as I could not to look him up and down, but I couldn't stop myself in the end. Unconsciously, my tongue slipped out from between my lips and wet them as I took in his usual cut-offs and the tight plain white t-shirt he wore that clung to him in every delicious way possible. Oh, god. Contain yourself Bella. Oh, how badly I don't want to though.

"Afternoon, Bells," he spoke in that husky, panty-soaking tone of voice of his, and soak my panties it sure did.

Holy crow. No, Bella. Stick to your guns. Don't give up your new way of thinking so easily.

"You okay?" he asked me with a knowing smirk.

Yeah, right. As if he really had to ask. Although, that knowing smirk proved that he did in fact already know and that he was just screwing with me right now. Jackass.

"I'm fine," I lied, even though we both knew it was an obvious lie.

"You sure about that?" he questioned, continuing to walk towards me until there was literally only a few inches of space left between us.

I wanted to step back but was aware there was the wall of the building behind me. Judging by how backing away from him went yesterday...yeah, backing up wasn't a wise idea at the moment. I knew better this time around than to do that. Therefore, I stayed planted where I was and tried my best to control myself. Without that little bit of control I had, I would've pounced on him like a monkey who just eyed a banana and devoured him whole.

"I'm sure," I gasped as he moved his face closer so that his lips were brushing lightly against mine.

Oh, no. Do something, Bella. Do something now before all control goes straight out the window.

"Bells..." he breathed, his breath warming my lips.

"Jake..." I breathed back slowly feeling all control, the small amount that I did surprisingly have left, in me slip away.

"You're free now, right?" he asked and I about melted at the tone of his voice, so low and seductive.

Say no, Bella. No. No, you're not. You have somewhere else to be now.

"Yes," I said quietly going against what my mind and heart were telling me to say.

"Good," he said just before he kissed me.

And then I melted. The feel of his lips on mine again was amazing. Just as amazing as the last time, if not better. We moved our lips together in tandem. Both of us taking turns to map out each others mouth's with our tongues for future memories. It's like our lips were made for each other or something. I could deny it all I want, but actions speak louder than words, right? And the action put into and feel of this kiss was way more than words could honestly ever be able to truly describe.

"Wait, wait, Jake," I said as I suddenly gained back just enough control to bring my hands up to his chest and push him away from me. "We shouldn't be doing this Jake," I said quietly when we pulled apart.

"What happened to our conversation from yesterday?" Jake asked, taking a step back from me with a frown very evident on his face.

"I had all night and all morning to think about it," I answered. "And it was wrong."

He raised an eyebrow at me and let out an evil sounding chuckle of sorts. "Oh, it was, was it?" he asked as if he was challenging my conclusion.

"You brought it up at the wrong time," I told him, wrapping my arms instinctively tight around myself.

"Did I now?" he questioned once again stepping back towards me.

I nodded trying my best to stick to my guns and not start questioning myself. "Yes, you did. You brought it up when I was in my post orgasm bliss state," I said in a matter-of-fact tone.

Jacob was silent for a moment, seeming to think about it. "Yes, I did do that, didn't I?" he spoke suddenly like realization had just now dawned on him.

"Yes, you did."

"Hmm...so, maybe you're right, then."

I nodded in agreement. "I know I am."

Jacob was silent for another moment. But, unlike last time, he smirked at me. "Let's see about that."

"Wait. What?" I asked cluelessly.

Jacob suddenly grabbed my hand and pulled me down the sidewalk to the alleyway next door.

"Jake!" I exclaimed.

As soon as we were in the alley, Jacob turned and pushed me back against the alley wall.

"Jake, what are you doing?" I asked him trying to push him away from me, but his sudden grip on my sudden made sure that I couldn't escape from him.

"I'm seeing if you're right or not," he answered simply with a shrug of his shoulders.

I had clearly missed a new memo or something. "How?"

Jake grinned mischievously at me. "You'll see."

Then, in an instant, he leaned his head down and I felt his warm lips on my neck.

I moaned at the feeling and having no control over myself at that point. I could feel Jacob smirk against my neck.

"Jake, stop. This is wrong. We shouldn't..." I trailed off as I felt myself get slightly wet in between my legs. But, god it feels so good. "I'm not the kind of girl who does this."

In a sudden move that I was not expecting at all, Jacob let go of my shoulders and backed away from me. "Alright, fine," he said as he turned to leave.

At that, my eyes widened and my jaw dropped. Wait, he was really going to leave me like this? Was this his plan all along? To get me to start getting worked up and then just to leave me? Oh, that jackass! I looked after him in shock as wetness pooled even more in between my legs. As it turns out, I was oddly finding him backing off and leaving me like this as a turn on. Hmm...weird. But who was I to question it.

With a sudden confidence that I now was beginning to associate with me being aroused, I quickly ran after him. When I caught up to him just before he got to the opening of the alleyway, I grabbed him by the arm and turned him slightly, pushing him into the wall behind him. I could tell by the look in his eyes that I had taken him by surprise.

"Bella, what are you..." he started to ask, but I didn't let him finish his question.

I cut him off by smashing my lips into his. He didn't respond at first, definitely because he was surprised. But then he smirked and kissed me back. Now it was my turn to be surprised. Holy crow! Had I just walked into another trap plan of his? Damn it! Of course, I did. Stupid, stupid me. How could I not have figured out that he had more than just one plan up his sleeve?

Jacob pulled away effectively breaking me from my thoughts. "See, I was right." He chuckled.

"What do you mean?"

"You're all over me and the idea of us being best friend's with benefits and you're not in a post orgasm state of bliss," he informed me.

My jaw dropped and my eyes widened for the second or third time in only minutes. "You jackass!" I exclaimed in what was so close to being an outrage.

"Call me whatever you want."

Before I had the chance to say or do anything else, Jacob switched our places so that I was once again the one with my back against the alley wall. For a moment, we just stood there looking at each other. My control was starting to drift away again. Except this time, it was drifting quickly. I think it was aided by the wetness pooling in between my legs. Speaking of wetness...control be damned!

Without a second thought, I took Jacob by surprise again and pushed him off of me, pushing him until his back was against the opposite wall and I had the control. I smashed my lips into his, wasting no time to ask for entrance. His lips parted and I slipped my tongue into his mouth finishing the mapping that it had started only a few minutes before.

Both of us had our hands wrapped tightly in whatever we could grab of each others hair. I started to rub myself up and down his leg trying to get some friction for the throbbing my leg. We both had to pull apart for a moment as groans and moans all spilled out of us simultaneously. Neither of us knew what noise came from which of us. But, quite frankly neither of us cared either.

Jake suddenly took his hands out of my hair, trailing them down my body to grab me by my ass and hoist me up. Instinctively, my legs wrapped around his waist. We both moaned as soon as my throbbing, wet core made contact with the bulge in his shorts.

"Jake..." I moaned out.

"Bells..." he groaned in reply.

I moved my hands down to the zipper of his shorts frantic to move this along. But he stopped me. He placed me back down on the ground then and walked past me. I turned around just as he turned back around again. What the hell? Was he serious? What was he doing? He couldn't leave us both like this. The throbbing between my legs was a pain that I wanted to get rid of...not keep. I could tell by the look on his face that what he was doing was hurting even him, which only added to the fact that I couldn't understand for the life of me why he was backing away.

"Jake, what..." I started to ask.

He shook his head and cut me off. "No, no sex," he forced himself to say. "Or anything else that ends in an orgasm."

Well, smack me in the head with a brick, why don't you?

"What?! Why not?!"

"Because I'm not going to have sex with you and then have you hate me because you suddenly decided that sex with me wasn't what you really wanted," he answered, running his hand through his hair. "And as for all else...you insist that you don't want to do this. We'll see how long that lasts," he added, closing his eyes and taking in a deep breath before letting it out.

"But..." I started to protest.

Jacob cut me off. "No buts, Bella," he told me sternly. "You have to be absolutely sure it's what you want before things go any farther than they already have. _And_ before it happens again."

"But, Jake..." I tried to protest again.

"Bella, stop acting like a child," Jacob scolded.

Oh, no he didn't! "I am not acting like a child," I argued, crossing my arms over my chest. All the while, I was forcing myself with every fiber of my being not to stomp my foot to prove his point.

"You kind of are," he chuckled.

"Am not," I said. "Ass," I added as an insult.

"Like I said before, call me whatever you want. It will not change a single thing."

I huffed, this time not being able to stop from stomping my foot.

Jacob smirked at me as he slowly started to back out of the alley. "You know, you're pretty cute when you act like that."

Before I can stop myself the words fly right out of my mouth. "Bite me!"

Jacob raised an amused eyebrow and his smirk only grew. "Be careful what you wish for, Bells," he teased.

Then just like that he turned and walked out of the alley, leaving a yet again sexually frustrated me behind.

"You can't leave me like this!" I yelled after him.

But he didn't turn around or anything; he just kept on walking.

What a freaking jackass! Jackass!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, Bella's having second thoughts...again...what's new, right? And, Jacob isn't willing to give her anymore cake that she can eat, too. Hehe!
> 
> I promise, actual real lemony goodness is coming very soon. It won't be long before limes as well as the citrus is overpowered and thrown on the backburner!


	5. Chapter 4 - Daydreams & Revelations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is shorter than the others because it's sort of a filler. But it's still important to read!
> 
> Warning: Naughty thoughts and daydream scenarios in this chapter. Turn back now if you think or know it'll offend you in some way.

Monday morning honestly could not have come fast enough. It felt like an eternity from the exact moment Jacob left me high and dry in the alley next to work the afternoon before until now. Oh, how much I loathed him right now. I had never been so angry in my life. How dare he get me all riled up and then leave me? Have he no sense of decency? Or however that question would go. Gah! I'm so angry, I can't even think properly.

Okay, so maybe it wasn't all angry. It was half sexual frustration, again. It's like I can never get away from this damn frustration. Something always ends up leaving me with it. Was this how every teenage girl felt at times? Or is this just my own personal hell? The "Bella Swan is sentenced to always being sexually frustrated one way or another" curse? Either way, I swear some higher power is out to get me in one of the worst ways possible.

I was literally jump started out of my thoughts by the sound of a car horn outside. My heart sped up as I walked over to the window to see who it was. A part of me hoped that it was the one person that deep down I knew it wasn't. But I knew for a fact that it really wasn't who that part of me hoped it was. The other part of me knew who it was and was happy about it. The two parts of me were at war with each other. Being split down the middle sucks big time.

Putting on my best game face, I smiled briefly at him through the window and then I turned to go and meet him outside. I grabbed my brown coat and slipped it on as I made my way out of my room and downstairs. The smile that took over my face when I opened the front door was half genuine and half fake. The disappointed part of me who wanted it to be someone else refused to let me be truly 100% happy about seeing him.

Locking and closing the front door behind me, I walked slowly down the front porch steps. The two halves of me were still fighting each other over what I should do. But my anger with one part of me at the moment was enough for the other part of me to win the current fight. For now, the part of me fighting for what had me so on edge was silenced. And for that, I was truly relieved.

"Hi, love," Edward said as I walked up to where he was leaning against the passenger's side of his car.

"Edward," I replied with a brief smile as he pulled me into a hug and kissed my forehead.

He smiled at me when he pulled away. "I missed you." 

"I missed you, too." I forced the words out; the words that were lies. Well, partially lies.

Now that I thought about it, I had barely even remembered or thought about Edward the whole weekend. I was too busy doing other amazing things with Jacob. Oh, god. Now here comes the rush of guilt. The guilt of thinking about and replaying the weekend I spent cheating on my boyfriend while he was away. The same boyfriend who was currently standing right in front of me. How much lower could I go right now?

"Are you okay, Bella?" Edward's voice snapped me out of my guilty and sinful thoughts.

I faked a smile and nodded my head. "I'm perfectly fine."

"You sure?" He questioned me with an eyebrow raised. "You seem like you have something on your mind," Edward said, allowing his ever so observant side come out.

I said and thought this all the time, but I was _really_ grateful in this moment that my mind was closed off to Edward.

Edward flashed a doubtful look in my direction.

Oh, god. Was he somehow reading right through me? I had to do something or I was probably going to have a mental breakdown right here, right now.

"We should get to school," I said quickly, opening the passenger's door and getting in. "Don't want to be late."

I sighed a sigh of relief when Edward just nodded, saying nothing and closed the door behind me. He was sitting in the driver's seat seconds later. He silently started the car and I couldn't help but to sigh another sigh of relief. I knew he heard me, but he kept his attention on the road, for which I was thankful.

The whole drive to school, I silently prayed over and over again in my head to whoever was listening that Edward wouldn't bring up the fact that he knew I was keeping something from him.

Lucky for me, he didn't.

But I knew without a doubt that he wanted to.

  **~HM~**

The whole entire week went by ever so slowly. I didn't see or hear from Jacob at all. Part of me, the part that wanted to stay faithful to Edward from now on, was ecstatic. But then the other part of me, the part of me who wanted Jacob and wasn't afraid to show it, well that part of me made sure to make the whole week for me an even bigger living hell for me.

How exactly did that part of me make my living hell? The simple answer, daydreams. Naughty and dirty daydreams starring me and Jacob and random places and positions while I was at school, preferably in a class or at lunch with Edward. That completely evil other part of me. It just couldn't, no...wouldn't, give me a break. It literally wanted me to slip up and do or say something that would clue Edward into what went on. I couldn't let that happen.

But goodness gracious I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to experience all of the daydreams with Jacob for real. But I couldn't do that. The faithful relationship good girl part of me was still trying as hard as it could to hold on to my good girl image. I had to stay strong for it. I couldn't fall into temptation no matter how much war the two parts of me went through. Although, how could I with all of these tempting thoughts?

Every time I'd have one of these daydreams, Edward would always interrupt them before the best part. I would always feel guilty when I snapped out of my daydream and looked at him to see the curious and concerned look on his face. I'd always have to quickly ask the teacher for me to go to the bathroom and handle my...umm...arousal issues...in hopes that I'd get away from Edward before he smelt what was going on with me down there. I hoped that maybe he wouldn't smell it right away if he didn't have a reason to and wasn't really sniffing around to find out. Speaking of which, did he even know what arousal smelled like? I mean, he is a 100 plus year old virgin. Hmm...interesting thought.

Anyways, because I couldn't seem to forget those daydreams no matter how hard I tried, I would always recall the daydreams at night when I went to bed. Every night for the whole entire week, I locked my window before bed to keep Edward from coming in. Not only did I know how much he tried not to get tempted by me, I also knew how much I would hate to have to explain or lie to him about him not being the one causing me to get so aroused all the time. That was not a conversation that I ever wanted to have with him. Yeah, I will definitely pass on that one.

So onto my daydreams...

 _Monday_  was my daydream of Jacob and I's, sweet and sensual, first time. It was like a first time out of a romance novel. Although, I knew in real life it wouldn't be nearly as great, it was just a daydream. So sue me. But yeah, it was everything I could've ever dreamed of. Sweet kisses. Soft touches. Soothing words. All in all, it was just simply perfect.

 _Tuesday_  was my daydream of Jacob and I having wet and dirty sex on the hood of the Rabbit, parked on the side of the road where anyone passing by could see, while it was pouring down rain. It was a slippery and fun time. It was especially funny when we ended up sliding off the hood of the car. We both had gotten too caught up in each other to realize we were slipping. Maybe it would've been wise for Jacob to have kept his feet on the ground for leverage. Oh well. Not all daydreams can be truly perfect.

 _Wednesday_  was my daydream of Jacob and I playing a game, which consisted of me running through the woods with Jacob chasing me. His prize for catching me? Me, of course. Although, I'd say it was my prize also because I enjoyed it just as much as he did. Sex against a tree, after being voluntarily chased through the woods by a hot guy who just so happened to be my best friend also, was very kinky. I'll admit the bark of the tree digging into my back was painful. But in the end all of the pleasure was definitely worth all the pain.

 _Thursday_  was my daydream of Jacob and I taking a trip to the beach together at night aided only by the moonlight which lead to us both getting sand in places that it shouldn't ever be in. A blanket might've been wise. But it's not like we went to the beach actually expecting to end up having sex. It had started off as just a friendly nighttime trip to the beach. As it turns out  though, just like in real life, even in my daydreams everything with Jake and I goes from innocent to sinful by the end.

Based on my daydreams, I think it's safe to say that I have a kinky, not so very innocent side to me. Who would've ever thought that about me?

At the end of each school day, I had almost been tempted to go see Jacob. All of those daydreams left me wanting more. They left me wanting the real thing. Yet I didn't go to see him any of the times that I could have and, in my wrong mind, would have. But with us having agreed to keep whatever had happened between us a secret, I couldn't go see him. I had to keep my distance. That way less people would get suspicious. Also, Jacob had said that nothing was to happen between us again until I knew for sure what I wanted. I knew for a fact he was serious. The proof is in the fact that he walked away even when he was just as aroused as I was. No guy ever does that unless they're proving a point.

Sadly, at this point, I was just so utterly and completely confused. I still had no idea what I wanted exactly.

 

**~HM~**

By the time Friday had rolled around, I didn't have another daydream, but I did realize something big and life changing. It was then that it all came together and became absolutely, one hundred and ten percent clear to me. All of the daydreams day after day were trying to tell me something. I decided that enough is enough and I finally stopped fooling myself.

I wanted this. I wanted Jacob. I wanted this and Jacob now more than I ever had before. It just took me so long to realize it. Who was I kidding? It would probably literally kill me if I tried to deny what I so clearly wanted any longer.

Yes, I'm knowingly cheating on Edward by realizing and actually going along with this for real now. But at the same time, it was now or never. If I didn't go along with what my body wanted, then Jacob, Edward, and I would forever be caught up in this screwed up love triangle. Yes, that's right. This is a screwed up love triangle. One that my stupid indecisiveness is in full control of. I can't believe I never saw it before. But now that I did, I had to do something about it. And I knew exactly what to do about it.

I would give myself completely into temptation. And at the end of the month, I'll see if my mind, heart, and body could all three finally agree on who I really wanted.

Edward or Jacob?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! It seems like Bella's finally using her brain now! Next chapter Jacob's back! And we all know exactly what that means! ;)


	6. Chapter 5 - Decisions and Late Night Hookups

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jacob's back!
> 
> Warning: Sexual content and some cursing in this chapter. Turn back now if you think or know it'll offend you in some way.

After my Friday revelation, I decided that I wanted to have the night to myself. Alice wanted me to come over and have a "sleep over" with her, but I told her I'd have to rein check. She wasn't very happy about it, but after I lied and told her that I wasn't feeling so good, she admitted defeat and let it go. Unfortunately, Edward overheard my talk with Alice and was concerned about me not feeling well. Apparently, he would jump at any chance that allowed him to be "my hero." Therefore, he wanted me to leave my window open so he could come over and to watch over me until I felt better, but I shrugged him off. I told him I'd get better faster if I had less distraction. He was doubtful, but after some words from Alice, he let it go, too.

So now I had Friday night to myself. And for that, I was extremely grateful.

When I got home from school that day, I went about my new (the one I'd had since Monday) usual routine. My routine consisted of homework, picking up anything around the house that needed picking up, and then cooking dinner so that it was already ready by the time Charlie got home. Oh yeah, I almost forgot...all the while, the biggest part of my routine was thinking about  _ **him.**_ No matter how hard I tried to push him to the back of my mind, he was always very present on my mind. Even before my revelation if I was honest. Although, now because of my revelation, I wasn't really trying to fight off my thoughts of him anymore. I was embracing them. Every single one of them. The PG ones. The PG-13 ones. The R ones. Even, and especially, the NC-17 ones.

It was really bothering me that I hadn't seen or heard from Jacob since that afternoon in the alley. He had left us both high and dry saying that until I made a choice and knew for a fact that I wanted to continue being best friend's with benefits that nothing would happen between us again. I had made up my mind now. I was all in. But I had no way of telling him that. I couldn't call him because Billy and everyone else on the Reservation were under the impression that Jacob and I were in the middle of a falling out. I couldn't go see him for the same reason. So what in the heck was I suppose to do? I had to tell him somehow what I decided. But how exactly? God, it's so frustrating.

By time Charlie got home and we ate dinner, in mostly silence as usual, it was about 7:30. Seeing as if I had gotten rid of all my other possible plans for tonight by feigning sickness, I decided to shower and go to bed early. I told Charlie goodnight, to which when he saw how early it still was, he asked if I was feeling alright. I told him I was fine, I was just tired, which was true. Just not in the way he thought I meant. I truly was tired. Except I was tired of not seeing Jacob lately. I wanted to see him. I wanted to tell him that I wanted him. I wanted to tell him that I wanted to continue our best friends with benefits relationship. I just did not know how to.

I went upstairs, got everything ready for bed, and then went to take a shower. My shower went the same way it had all week. Due to the fact that it reminded me of his heat, as soon as the scolding hot water hit me my daydreams of Jacob and I would come flooding into my head in flashes. I instantly felt wetness, that wasn't from the water, pool in between my legs. I closed my eyes and leaned back against the shower wall, trailing my fingers ever so slowly down from my neck, between my breasts, lightly brushing my stomach causing me to shiver, and down to where I wanted them the most. The whole time I worked on getting myself off, I imagined that my fingers were  ** _his._  **Mine weren't the same, but they had to do just like the previous nights ever since Monday.

After my shower, I wrapped my hair in a towel and wrapped another towel around my body. Then I made my way back to my bedroom. As soon as I entered my room and shut the door behind me, I sensed another presence there with me. I knew it wasn't Edward because I asked him to stay away and he was usually understanding and respectful of my wishes. Which left me with the big, million dollar question...who else was in my room with me?

Taking a deep breath, I let it out and then turned around. My breath caught in my throat and I was frozen in place. _He_ was here. _He_ was actually here. And I was in only a towel. And he was only in his cut-off shorts. I practically started to drool at the sight and thought. All the pent up sexual frustration from not seeing him the entire week was coming to the surface. It was taking over me. And it was taking over me quickly. Very quickly.

"Jake," I breathed out and in the process let my arms drop to my side, which in turn made my towel fall to the ground.

It was Jake's turn to freeze in place.

I was standing in front of him dripping wet and completely naked now. And I surprisingly didn't mind it one bit. And it was obvious that he didn't either.

"Bells," he finally spoke, eying me up and down.

My name came out of his mouth in a husky tone that made my sex gush out heated wetness. Oh god. The fact that I had just gotten myself off in the shower only minutes earlier meant absolutely nothing now. I felt extremely needy in that department all over again.

Just then, Jacob's tongue darted out of his mouth and he licked his lips.

That was my undoing. That one action on his part awoke an animalistic side of me. I was suddenly the predator and he was the prey. Which is extremely ironic since he's the actual wolf, who's usually the predator, and I'm the human, who's usually the prey.

But the right way of thinking be damned. I needed to feel him close to me. Right then. Right there. Right now.

Without even a second thought, I launched myself at him. Both of us moaned in pleasure as our bare chests came into contact. My nipples perked up and it wasn't because of the cold by any means. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him to me, connecting our lips in a heated kiss, wasting no time sticking my tongue down his throat. He had no problem with that.

After a minute or so of a frantic make-out session, Jacob pulled away.

I groaned in protest, but reluctantly pulled way, too.

"Bella..." Jake started to say.

I had a feeling that I already knew what he was going to say. Therefore, I cut him off and spoke first.

"This is what I want," I told him.

He was hesitant for just a moment, but then raised an eyebrow at me and asked, "Are you sure?"

I nodded my head. "Yes. I've been thinking about it this whole week."

"And?"

I took a deep breath and answered, "And I know that this is what I want. I fully understand what our deal was."

A moment later, I leaned forward until my lips were brushing lightly against his.

"I'm all for it," I whispered before kissing him again.

This time, though, there was no tongue or open mouths. It was an actual closed mouth, simple pressing of the lips together kiss. Kind of like the ones I was use to having with Ed...no, no. No, Bella! Not now. No thinking about him, Bella. This is simply you and Jacob time. I quickly pushed that thought to the back of my mind.

When we pulled away, Jacob was smiling at me.

"Why the sudden change of heart again?" he asked me curiously.

I shrugged my shoulders. "I honestly don't know. But I'm sure by the end of the month, I'll know for sure."

"So you really mean it this time?" Jacob questioned, double checking.

I didn't blame him. I had been so back and forth, touch and go, and yes and no quite a bit lately. But this time I really did mean what I said.

"I really do mean it this time, Jake," I answered with a smile. "I promise."

Jacob grinned then. "Good," he said. "Because I've missed you."

I grinned back at him. "I've missed you, too," I admitted.

Oh, boy did I miss you. If only you knew.

We stood there wrapped in each others arms for God only knows how long.

It wasn't until I felt the throbbing coming from in between my legs that I was brought back to reality.

"Jake?" I said.

"Yeah?" he asked looking at me.

"Can we go somewhere?" I questioned.

He gave me a confused look.

"I need..." I started, but then paused. How should I put this? "Umm...I...I need...umm...Charlie's downstairs." This is getting me absolutely no where.

"Yeah, and?"

"Umm..."

I was drawing a blank. How could I convey what I meant to him without words? Oh, wait. I know!

I reached behind me and grabbed one of his hands that was placed on the small of my back. Slowly, I brought it around the front of me and moved it down to the wet heat that Jacob, himself, was the cause of. I moaned as our hands, together, made contact with me down there.

"Oh," Jacob said, realization dawning on him instantly.

"You know, I can't be quiet enough," I joked and then moaned when he trailed one of his fingers up and down between my lips along my clit.

My eyes fluttered closed at the sensation. "Please," I moaned out.

He continued teasing my clit with light touches, but never adding any pressure to it.

Oh, god. He was freaking torturing me.

"Please what?" Jake asked not even trying to hide the amusement in his voice.

He was teasing me and he freaking knew it. Jerk!

But I was so far gone that I was going to say anything he wanted me to right about now if it meant getting to the big pay off.

"We need to go s-some...w-where...somewhere that I d-don't have to...b-be quiet."

I was a stuttering mess.

"Where would we go?"

For goodness sake! How the hell would I know where to go?

"I don't know," I moaned out, but not in pleasure this time. This time it was a moan of frustration. "Anywhere. Just..."

"Just what?"

"Damn it, Jake! Please!" I hissed, this time in complete frustration.

Jacob chuckled at my frustration. "Okay. Okay. Calm down."

I wiggled out of his grasp and slapped him in the arm.

"It's not nice to tease me after leaving me sexually frustrated for a whole week," I scolded him.

Jacob stepped back and grinned mischievously at me. "The whole week?"

I nodded and crossed my arms over my chest, successfully hiding my boobs from Jake's view.

He didn't even try to hide how much he didn't like that. He growled and as if on cue my arms dropped to my side as if they had a mind of their own. He groaned his approval and shifted slightly, which didn't get past me.

I moved my eyes down south and unconsciously licked my lips upon seeing the tent that had formed in his cut-offs. I would never get over the satisfaction that I felt every time I thought about me being the one who always got him excited like that.

"Bells," he growled, that "panty soaking if I had any on" growl, and my eyes snapped up quickly to meet his.

I gasped when I saw how black with lust his eyes were. I was sure that, at that moment, my own eyes quickly changed to match the lusty black color of his.

"Jake..." I started to say, but he cut me off.

"Get your towel and put it on," he ordered and with the tone of voice he used who was I to argue with him?

I had no idea why he was ordering me to cover up, but I didn't ask. I just did as he asked of me. I bent down to pick the towel up, and then I stood up and wrapped it back around myself. I looked back up at him and before I could even blink he moved forward and grabbed me, wrapping his arms around me.

"Jake, what..."

I didn't even get my full question out before Jacob turned back toward the window.

My eyes widened and I opened my mouth to ask him what the hell and protest, but I didn't even get the chance to. All I could do was throw my arms around him and hold on to him for dear life, hiding my face in the crook of his neck as he jumped out the window with me, landing on his feet, and then taking off towards the woods.

 

 

**~HM~**

It felt like a million years had passed by before we stopped moving and Jake set me down on my feet. I took a few moments to myself to get my bearings back together. Then I looked up at him fully prepared to ask him what the hell he was thinking in that mind of his. But I didn't have a chance in hell. Before I could even try and open my mouth to speak his was greedy against mine.

I didn't move a muscle at first trying to get my mind to process what in the world was going on. When I realized my mind wasn't going to be helpful right now, I said forget it and kissed him back just as greedily. Screw common sense and knowing what was going on. Why not just be spontaneous and go with the flow for once? That's exactly what I'll do.

After a few moments, we both had to pull away for breath.

Jacob took the time apart to nip at my earlobe and whisper with that husky tone that I was sure he realized I loved so much, "You can be as loud as you want here."

Now it all made sense. And yes, the usually quiet and shy Bella Swan would indeed be as loud as she wanted to be. No, wait a second. We're in the woods...the pack always patrols in the woods. Someone would hear me. Oh, no. Not good.

"Jake, what about the pack? Who's patrolling tonight?" I asked suddenly resorting back to the quiet and shy Bella.

Jacob pulled back and looked at me, his hands on my shoulders. "Don't worry about it, Bella. I promise you everything's taken care of. No one, and I mean  _ **no one**_ will find out about us."

I didn't reply.

"Do you trust me, Bella?" Jacob asked me looking so intensely into my eyes as if he was peering into my soul.

I nodded. "Of course, I do."

"Then trust me, Bells. It's just us here right now."

"Okay."

Then faster than the speed of light, the atmosphere between us turned from the calm that it was at the moment back to the frantic needy one from before.

The sexual frustration that he had left me with all week was taking control of me. It wanted revenge. And it was going to get it.

The next time Jacob moved forward to kiss me, I put my hand on his chest to keep him at a distance.

"Bella," he said looking at me with confusion evident on his face.

I just smirked at him and without a second thought bent down on my knees in front of him.

"Bells..."

I already knew what he was going to say. It would be the same thing he said the first time I gave him a hand job. "You don't have to Bells."

I looked up at him, cutting him off, and put a finger to my lips. "Shh! No protests. I want to do this."

He looked down at me and nodded and I smiled at him deciding not to break eye contact with him as I fumbled with the button on his shorts, unbuttoning them and pulling them down to his ankles. I looked down to find his cock sprung free proudly. My god, he was huge. Not that I had anything to compare it to. But I'm sure if I did there would be no contest.

I looked back up to see him still looking down at me with an intense lusty look in his eyes. I leaned forward and blew my warm breath on him causing him to shudder.

And now it was time for my revenge.

"You know, Jake," I said with an evil smirk playing at my lips.

"Yeah?"

"I changed my mind," I told him.

His eyes went wide and he looked down at me. "You what?"

I stood up then and leaned forward to whisper in his ear, "Payback's a bitch, isn't it?"

Then I pulled back and tried my best not to laugh at the shocked and confused expression on Jacob's face.

As if a light bulb went off in his head, he suddenly growled at me.

I felt the wetness pool once again between my legs. That damn growl.

"Why you little minx!" he exclaimed, to which I just smirked even more.

"I told you. Payback. Is. A. Bitch," I said, emphasizing each word. "A whole week, Jake. A whole week of sexual frustration!" I exclaimed back at him. "Nothing was enough. I had to get myself off numerous times a day to even get close to not being frustrated anymore."

"Well, who's fault is that? You were the indecisive one," Jacob pointed out.

"Yeah, and your point is?" I asked him, crossing my arms over my chest.

I waited for Jake to answer my question, but what he did instead took me off guard completely.

Before I could even blink, he grabbed my arms and pulled them away from me. The first chance he got, he pulled at my towel throwing it onto the ground. I opened my mouth to argue or protest or something, but he captured my mouth in a bruising, teeth-clinking together kiss, silencing me.

Oops. I think that I did it now. Well, as long as there's a pay off this time. He can do whatever he wants to me. I'll gladly take whatever punishment he'll give me.

"Jake," I moaned out as I was broken away from my thoughts when I felt his warm mouth on my right breast sucking, licking, and nipping, while he kneaded the left one with his hand.

I hadn't even realized we weren't kissing anymore.

"Quiet," Jake ordered.

"But..." I started to protest.

He cut me off. "Or I'll stop," he warned, pulling away and looking up at me with a look on his face that said, "Try me."

And I shut up. Damn. He turned my revenge around on me. Jackass.

He went back to work switching off to the other one. Now he had his mouth on my left breast repeating his actions on it that he did on my right. His hand taking over on my right.

My hands found purchase in his hair and I gripped hard trying to pull him into me more, if it were even possible. I bit my tongue to keep from moaning or making any noise out loud, knowing fully well that he would stop if I disobeyed him.

When he pulled away from me, I bit my tongue to the point where I tasted blood trying to keep quiet. I wanted nothing more than to protest his mouth no longer being on me.

He picked his head up and kissed me briefly before pulling away.

"Are you done being a tease now?" he asked me.

No, I wanted to say. But instead I just nodded.

"Good," he said, leaning in to kiss me once again.

Just as I was about to kiss him back, I froze. My eyes widened when I felt the tip of him at my entrance. Part of me was screaming to thrust myself down onto him. But another part of me was screaming that I was still not ready.

"Jake," I said as I immediately broke the kiss.

He looked up at me with a questioning look in his eyes.

"Umm...I...I'm not ready to...to go all the way just yet," I had trouble saying, but managed to say.

At first, Jake didn't seem to understand where what I said come from. But then when he came back to reality and looked down, his eyes widened and he backed off quickly making me groan in protest from losing contact with him.

"I didn't mean pull away!" I exclaimed.

"Sorry," he apologized.

I offered him a small smile and shook my head. "It's no big deal. Just make sure to watch where you put yourself."

"Note to self for a future reference."

I giggled involuntarily. "Good idea," I said. "Now, let's finish what we started shall we?!" I stated more so than asked as I pulled him back to me. "I'm pretty sure you owe me a lot of orgasms," I teased him. "You know...to make up for the week of sexual frustration and all.

"I do, don't I?!" he agreed shocking me slightly because I expected him to tease me over it.

But I didn't have much time to be too terribly shocked when I felt two of his fingers enter me.

Yep, nothing else mattered a this moment in time.

**~HM~**

By time we got back to my room, it was almost ten. I was shocked. I hadn't realized we had been gone as long as we had. After our hook up in the woods, I was due another shower. I took a quick shower, taking my clothes to the bathroom this time, and got dressed before returning to my room where Jacob was lounged out on my bed.

"So, I never got the chance to ask you last weekend..." I said, walking over to my bed and pulling the covers back on the side he wasn't lounging on.

"Ask me what?" he asked, turning his head to look at me.

"How exactly you kept last weekend and are planning to keep the rest of the month away from the pack?" I responded, crawling into bed and curling up under the covers.

"80's lyrics," he answered without hesitation.

"80's lyrics?" I questioned, raising an eyebrow.

"Yep," he nodded, popping the "P" in a way that had me rolling my eyes.

"But doesn't that make the pack think you're hiding something?" I wondered, turning onto my side and propping my head up on my hand.

"Yeah, but it keeps me from letting what happens between us out."

Well yeah, that's true.

"Can Sam alpha order you to tell him what you're keeping from the pack?" I asked curiously.

Jacob thought for a moment before he answered, "He could."

My eyes widened instantly. "Oh, god! What if he does?"

Jacob shook his head. "He won't do it."

"How can you be so sure of that?" I asked him, knowing how Sam gets over the pack and how seriously he takes his alpha responsibilities.

Jacob sighed. "Because as long as I assure him it won't affect the pack, he'll give me my privacy."

"Oh, okay," I said.

Seconds later another fear came to me.

"But what if you slip?"

"I won't slip," Jacob said extremely confident in what he said.

"You can not control if you slip up, Jake."

Jacob snorted. "Watch me."

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, sure. But I should probably add some more motivation for you to try harder not to slip."

"Oh?"

I nodded.

"And what's that?"

"If you let anything about this..." I started, waving my pointer finger back and forth between Jacob and I. "...slip...then it's over," I finished.

He cocked an eyebrow. "It is over?"

I shook my head yes.

"There will be no more of this if someone finds out," I told him honestly. "Fair enough?"

Jacob thought for a moment about it. "Yeah, sure. That's fair enough."

I couldn't help but smile. "More motivation now."

Jacob agreed with a smirk. "A lot more."

"So that settles the slip issue then."

"It does."

"Will you stay with me until I fall asleep?" I asked, settling my head comfortably into my pillow.

"Of course," he said, leaning over and kissing me on my forehead.

"Thank you," I smiled at him as I moved over to snuggle into his side.

For the third day in less than a week already, I was so totally going to hell. A part of me wasn't too thrilled about it. But the other part of me was too satisfied to give a damn. And that part of me just so happened to be the bigger part.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter...limes are no more!


	7. Chapter 6 - Jealousy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, so I just want to give everyone a quick heads up, this chapter was a little hard to write. It took me many rewrites to get this to where it is now. I just wanted to get this one thing out of the way, so from the next chapter on it should be smoother sailing. You'll know what I'm referring to by the end of the chapter.
> 
> Warning: Sexual content and some cursing in this chapter. Turn back now if you think or know it'll offend you in some way.

The next morning when I woke up, I was alone. I know I asked Jacob to stay just until I fell asleep, but a part of me had hoped that he'd stay longer. Oh well. I rolled over onto the side of the bed that he had stayed on, my face quickly being smothered by the pillow. I breathed in the woodsy scent of the pillow, which was now going to be dubbed Jacob's pillow...because I said so, and smiled. I also smiled more when I ran my hand down the other side of the bed and realized it was still warm. I knew without a doubt that that meant he had in fact stayed all night. I can't even begin to describe how much I was wallowing happily with that fact.

I stayed in that position, laying on my stomach with my face in the pillow, for about five minutes. I did not want to get up yet. I just wanted to stay there and breathe in his scent all day. There was no telling when I'd see him again. Going to the reservation without an invite would not be a smart idea. The pack probably wouldn't take to kindly to it. Not to mention without me having a good reason for it, me going to the reservation could very well be even more suspicious than Jacob singing 80's tunes in his head when phased. Especially seeing as if the pack and everyone else were still under the impression that Jacob was mad at me.

To be honest, that is perfectly fine by me. After all, mad Jake is one of the best Jake's there is. Our argument from last weekend, which just so happened to lead to the next two days of the best orgasms of my life, was proof of that. Mad Jake was a very sexy Jake. A Jake that I would never get enough of. Not that he wasn't sexy enough as it already is. Whoa! Was I really admitting this to myself right now? Hmm...interesting. What a step up from my indecisive lying to myself side of me. I think I could get use to this new Bella. It felt pretty damn good to be her if I was being completely honest.

With a happily satisfied smile on my face, I rolled over and checked the time. It was around eight. I got out of bed and went about my usual morning routine; brushing my teeth, getting dressed, making breakfast. Oh and I can't forget the newest addition to my morning routine...thinking about  _ **him**_ and our encounters over the past week. It wasn't until the phone rang that I was snapped back to reality. I silently cursed whoever was calling for breaking me away from such amazing and pleasurable thoughts and daydreams and walked over to the phone, answering it.

"Hello," I mumbled into the phone.

"Did you just wake up?" the familiar voice on the other end of the line asked sending shivers up and down my spine.

Good god that voice. Yum.

"No, not just. I've been up for about..." I trailed off, looking over at the kitchen clock. "Fifteen minutes or so."

He chuckled. "That's not very long."

"No, it's not," I agreed. "But it is also not just either," I pointed out with a smile on my face.

"True."

I listened quietly and looked out of the kitchen to make sure that I didn't hear or see Charlie before I said what I said next. When I was sure that the coast was clear I said, "You stayed all night."

"Is that a problem?"

"No, of course not. I just...I wasn't sure if..." What was I going to say? Oh forget it. "I'm actually happy you stayed all night," I confessed as I went about setting the table for breakfast.

"You are?" Jacob asked with slight amusement in his voice.

"I am," I confirmed.

"In that case, I should stay more often."

I opened my mouth to agree with him, but then remembered that it wouldn't be the best idea. I was still with Edward and I couldn't always use the "I'm sick" excuse to keep him away at night.

"Umm...yeah, maybe," I said, slightly unsure.

There was a pause and I heard him sigh.

"Oh, right. I forgot about that little problem," he said.

He didn't have to say anymore for me to know that he knew exactly what I was unsure about.

"It's just..." I started to explain.

He cut me off. "No, no need to explain. I get it."

"You do?" I asked surprised more than I'd admit out loud.

"I do," he answered. "It's only for another few weeks."

"Jake..."

Jacob cut me off again. "No, Bella. A couple more weeks and this thing between us will be finished. You'll finally know exactly what you want."

Yes, it would be over. Yes, I'd hopefully finally know for sure exactly what...or better yet who I want. But what did he mean by that exactly? It didn't really make any sense. I mean, except for the fact that how he was putting it could mean more than one thing. One, it could mean he knows I'll choose Edward again. Or two, he knows that there's a chance I won't want to let him go by the end of the month. After all, I was slowly but surely finding myself hating to be away from him more and more each and every second.

But I'm with Edward now for the most part. I love him. But darn it, I really do love Jacob, too. Wait, what?! Oh, wow. What a revelation? So now it's just a matter of which one of them I'm actually _ **in love**  _with. For so long, I was sure that I was in love with Edward. Now though...now I'm not so sure anymore because if I was then I would've never agreed to this best friends with benefits relationship with Jacob. Oh god. This is just too much. Stop overthinking right this freaking instant missy. For once in your life, give yourself a break already. 

"When am I going to see you again?" I suddenly found myself asking as soon as I pushed my overthinking thoughts to the back of my mind for now.

Before he could reply, I heard footsteps coming down the stairs.

"Oh shoot! Charlie's awake. I've gotta go," I said quickly. "I'll talk to you later."

I hung up without giving Jacob the chance to say anything. I was adamant on not letting anyone find out that Jacob and I were on good terms again. If anyone knew, then they'd probably wonder why or how, and I would rather not have to think up some lie that I'd probably butcher anyways. It was just easier to keep up the "Jacob and I had a falling out and aren't speaking" charade. Plus, it made Jacob and I's hookups that much more fun. And who doesn't like fun?

"Morning dad." I smiled at him as he entered the kitchen.

"Morning," he mumbled back, sitting down at the table to eat.

Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed today.

"So what are you up to today?" I asked him, forcing myself into making small talk while I sat down across from him because I wasn't too into the silence for some reason today.

"I'm going into work for a few hours. And then tonight there's a bonfire going on in La Push."

My ears perked up at hearing the word bonfire. I would get to see Jacob tonight. Oh thank you, god. Yes. Oh no, wait. I can't just invite myself. Maybe I can talk Charlie into somehow unknowingly inviting me. That way, if and when my presence is made known tonight, I can use him as an excuse. Oh, Bella. That sounds so wrong, using your own father for your own personal gain. Your own personal gain that would probably give Charlie a heart attack if he knew about.

"Oh, cool," I said quietly as I poked at my eggs with my fork.

"You're coming, right?" he asked looking at me.

"Umm...well, I don't know..." I trailed off.

"Bella, I know that you and Jacob are...well, you're not on very good terms for whatever reason as late," Charlie paused obviously trying to decide how to go about the conversation. "Long story short, come tonight. Let your stubbornness take over and don't give up until you're earned his forgiveness. Or vice versa."

I had to bite my tongue to keep from laughing. Wow. How lucky could I get? Not only had he just invited me to the bonfire, he also just told me to be my stubborn self and not take no for an answer. This morning just can't get any better. Or can it? If it could then I was really looking forward to what greatness would happen next.

Wait a second, of course Charlie would give me this pep talk. Charlie was anti-Edward and pro-Jacob. Now it made sense. How had I not thought of that as soon as Charlie's short pep talk was finished? Better yet, who really cares?

Not wanting to just give in and instantly agree to go, I kept up my charade.

"I already have plans tonight with Alice," I lied.

Charlie sighed. "Can't you rein-check on them?" he asked with a hint of hope in his voice.

"I don't know." I feigned some doubt.

"Please, come Bella," he said and I made the mistake of looking into his eyes, which were full of hope that I'd come and try and make Jacob and I's secret amends public.

Oh darn it. How could I possibly go against that?

And cue the end of my charade.

"Alright, I'll go," I said with a sigh, trying to act as if I was being reluctant about agreeing.

All the while I was bringing my fork up to my mouth in order to hide my smile from Charlie behind my hand. I absolutely couldn't wait for tonight. This was sure to be a very good night.

**~HM~**

After an entire morning and afternoon of being bored out of my mind, it was finally time to get ready for the bonfire. I was so excited, I had been chomping at the bit the entire day for this time. My body was screaming so loudly for Jacob and weirdly my mind was agreeing with it for once. I hadn't really expected it so soon, but at the same time I was too busy being excited about seeing Jacob again that I wasn't really up for questioning anything right now.

I stood in front of my open closet, switching back and forth from my right foot to my left. I was not sure what to wear, which is weird because I was never one to care about what I wore. But for some reason, my mind was yelling at me that I should definitely pay attention to what I wore tonight. I would normally question it, but I didn't. After all, my mind wasn't up for questioning anything tonight. It was only concerned with thoughts of Jacob.

"I thought you were sick," a voice said, causing me to jump and drop the shirt I had just pulled out of my closet.

"Holy crow!" I exclaimed, my hand going straight to my chest, as I quickly spun around to come face to face with Edward. "Don't sneak up on me like that!" I scolded.

He ignored me and repeated, "I thought you were sick."

"And?" I asked so that I wouldn't have to lie.

"Alice saw you disappear," he answered with a frown.

"Yeah, because I'm going to a bonfire tonight," I said, frowning right back at him.

"Bella, I would prefer you don't," Edward replied already annoyed, which was given away by him pinching the bridge of his nose.

I rolled my eyes and shook my head. "And I'd prefer you let me make my own decisions," I snapped back at him with a bit more bite than I was originally going for.

Edward took a step back as the shock of my outburst mad itself extremely evident on his face.

I was not going to apologize for that. No offense, but he honestly kind of deserved it.

"Bella, please reconsider going," Edward said with a hint of pleading in his tone.

I shook my head. No, my mind was one hundred percent made up. I was going to that bonfire whether he liked it or not.

"My dad asked me to go with him, so I'm going," I told him.

This was another one of those times where I was extremely grateful that he couldn't read my mind. It would be awful if he found out the real reason I was going. To see Jacob.

"Bella..."

I cut him immediately. "I said I'm going and I'm going," I said, putting my foot down sternly. "I told my dad I would. And I'm keeping my promise to him."

"Bella..."

"So help me God, Edward. Stop it!" I exclaimed, getting more and more frustrated each time he said my name in that "about to protest" tone of his. "Just go. I need to get ready."

Edward opened his mouth to say something, but I stopped him.

"Go," I ordered, pointing to the window where he came in from.

"But, Bella..."

"Go," I repeated half glaring at him in annoyance now.

Edward sighed an unnecessary sigh and pinched the bridge of his nose again.

"I will call you tomorrow," I told him.

I could tell he wanted to protest by the way he opened his mouth and then closed it seconds later, deciding against it. I was surprised that for once he actually backed off. He gave me one last look before shaking his head and leaving through the window.

Usually I'd sit down on my bed and think over what just happened. But this wasn't usually. I instead went back to my closet to get ready for the bonfire.

"Oh, and Bella," Edward returned seconds later to say to me.

"What, Edward?!" I asked, turning around quickly.

"If he hurts you..."

I rolled my eyes at him and stomped over to the window. "Oh, give it up, Edward.  _ **He. Won't. Hurt. Me!** "_

And with that I pushed him backwards and closed my window, locking it up. He was a vampire; it wouldn't hurt when he hit the ground. Well, not badly anyways.

Little did I know at the time, Jacob would be definitely hurting me later tonight. Just not anywhere near as close to the way that Edward always assumed he would.

**~HM~**

Almost one and a half hours later, the night was far from going how I had wished it would.

When I first arrived with my dad at the bonfire, I knew how the pack felt about me. Therefore, it hadn't really surprised me how they all reacted when they saw me there.

My go to excuse when asked why I was there was, "Charlie asked me to come. He said I should get out of the house more often. Or in Charlie cryptic talk, "I'm going to drink more than I should and I'm going to need a designated driver by the end of the night."

I didn't think anyone would try and confirm my excuse, which was kind of true in a way.

From the time I arrived up until now, my eyes scanned the crowd of people looking for one in particular. When I found said person, I was overcome with an immense feeling of jealousy. Some girl was hanging all over him and the jealous side of me wanted to go over and pull whoever she was off of him. But I contained myself. I had a charade to keep up.

So I just stood there watching them flirt over my drink. Nothing else mattered at the moment. All that mattered was that Jacob was flirting with someone that wasn't me. And it did not make me happy by any means. It should be me there with him. Not her. Whoever she was. I had to think of something to get him away from her.

The longer I stood there staring at them and watching them flirt back and forth, the more and more jealous I got. The wheels in my brain were turning. Every thought seemed to lead to the same end thought. Claim him as my own. Or stake some sort of claim on him. But how exactly? What way could I possibly do that? Wait a second, I know exactly how. It was an instant thought and once it was in my head, I couldn't get rid of it even if I wanted to. To be honest, I didn't.

I know I had said last night that I wasn't ready to go all the way yet. But it's like something in me snapped at seeing Jake with that girl. I wanted him. I wanted all of him. And, I wanted him...all of him... _ **Right. Now.**_  Tonight. No second thoughts. My mind was set. I would claim him as mine in the most intimate way I possibly could. And he would do the same with me.

With my mind set, I put my drink down in the first free place I could find, and I made my way over close to where Jacob and that girl were. I didn't get too close, but I got close enough that Jacob noticed me there. I gave him a look that said "follow me" and nodded my head down the beach just in case the look wasn't enough for him to understand what I meant.

When I was sure he would follow, I walked farther down the beach and I didn't stop until I was sure I was far enough away that no one would be able to see us, or hear us. Well, I mean unless they tried to overhear us, but everyone seemed to be preoccupied to notice us disappear. I stopped walking and turned around to come face to face with Jacob.

"Are you okay, Bella?" he asked me, concern evident on his face.

I nodded my head. "Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"

"You seem on edge about something."

"I'm ready," I blurted out before I could stop myself.

As if on cue, his eyes widened and his jaw literally dropped. I didn't have to be anymore specific for him to understand what I was referring to.

I couldn't help but giggle slightly at his reaction.

"Are you serious?" he asked, dumbfounded.

"Yes, I am," I assured him, stepping closer to him.

"But..." he started and I could hear the nervousness in his voice.

I laughed not being able to stop myself. Shouldn't I be the nervous one? Not him. Interesting turn of events.

"Shh. Don't say anything to ruin this moment, Jake," I said, walking closer to him against we our bodies were touching. "You want this, too, don't you?"

"Of course, I do," he answered without hesitation. "I just didn't ever imagine our first time being do spontaneous and out of the blue like this."

Curious about what he meant by that, I asked, "What do you mean?"

"I mean first times are suppose to be special. You know, planned out."

"If I did not know any better, I'd say you've been reading way too many romance novels," I laughed, throwing my arms loosely around his neck.

He glared at me momentarily, picking me up so that I could wrap my legs around his waist.

"Oh you know I am kidding you," I said, slapping him playfully on the arm. "And for the record, our first time doesn't need to be planned out. It's already going to be special."

"How so?"

"It's gonna be with you," I answered with a genuine smile on my face.

"Likewise."

"Alright, so what's the problem then?" I asked him.

He shrugged. "None, I guess."

I smiled and leaned forward. "Okay. Good."

Then I kissed him. The kiss started off sweet and ended up passionate, tongues and all. It was then that I realized how much different my first time with Jacob was really going to be. Compared to my daydream of our first time, the setting may be the same as it was, but the reason for it and the vibe from it were completely different. My daydream was completely sweet and loving. Reality was much more hot and needy. Well when I think of it, either way will be perfect in it's own way.

"I just thought of something," Jacob said, pulling away.

"What?" I asked almost afraid to hear his answer.

"We do have one problem," Jacob answered hesitantly.

Oh, god. Is this going to ruin the moment? Please, don't.

"What's that?" I dared to ask.

Jacob broke eye contact and looked down at the sand. "I don't have a condom."

Damn it. Okay, that could definitely end up being a problem. But every problem can be solved, right?

"Well, can't you just...I don't know..." Come on, Bella, think. "Umm...can't you just...pull out before you..." Ah, there you go. Good idea.

"Right because that'll be really easy to do," Jacob scoffed, rolling his eyes.

Is he seriously going to act like this now? Hmm...let's see how he like's this one then. With an open ended threat, I looked at him seriously, and in my sternest voice ever threatened, "Either you do it and pull out or I'll go find someone else who will!"

Yeah, right. Like I would ever really do that. But hopefully Jacob would be fooled and think I would. That way he'd agree to my idea and we could do this right now, like my body was begging for.

How Jacob responded to my threat took me completely off guard. Before I even knew what was happening, I was lying on my back in the sand with Jacob on top of me. His mouth was on my neck before I could process what was happening and I gasped.

"You said there would be..." Jacob started to say, trailing kisses up to my ear. "...no one else..." he continued, nipping at my ear lobe before trailing kissed back down my face and to my lips. "But me," he reminded me, speaking against my lips.

I definitely remembered that from our first night together.

"And that's how it'll stay," Jacob assured me before literally attacking my lips with his.

"We do not have much time, Jake," I said against his lips.

"We'll have to make it quick then."

I nodded in agreement. Slow was not a possibility right now.

From that moment on, it was a rush to rid each other of our clothes. Neither of us knew exactly how long we'd have before someone realized one or both of us was gone and would get suspicious enough to come looking. Being caught like this would be the most embarrassing thing to ever happen to me. And I'm not sure if I could recover from it.

Not long later, we were both completely naked. I shivered at the contact of us being skin against skin. His super hot and mine cold from the night time air. It was the perfect feeling.

"Please, Jacob," I said all patience going away right then and there as I rubbed myself up and down his lower half.

"I know we don't have too much time, but I need to get you ready for me."

"Exactly, not much time. Besides I am wet enough as it is," I told him as I purposefully grabbed his hand and moved it in between my legs where sure enough I was extremely wet.

Jacob groaned and kissed me intensely taking me off guard just long enough for him to sneak two fingers into me. What an evil genius.

I moaned into his mouth and bit down on his lower lip as he moved his fingers in and out of me. After a while he added a third, stretching me more. I was fully aware that three of his fingers was nothing compared to his size, but at the same time I was too turned on and in a rush to waste anymore time.

"Now," I hissed against his lips, shifting myself so that his fingers slipped out of me.

"Bells..."

I shook my head. "No, Jake. Now," I hissed again moving myself up a bit, not caring that I was getting sand in places that I shouldn't.

I couldn't help but laugh to myself when I realized that my first time was going to be my Monday and Thursday daydream in one. What were the chances?

"I don't want to hurt you, Bells," Jacob said looking down at me with a look of concern, his tip at my entrance.

"You won't, Jake," I tried to assure him, even though it was obvious to us both that this was definitely going to hurt; It was common sense.

"Yes, I will," Jacob argued.

This is so not the time damn it!

"Just do it, Jake!" I exclaimed.

"But..."

"Damn it, Jacob! Just get it over with! We don't have time for arguing over this! You can make it up to me sweetly some other time!"

I expected him to argue with me some more. But what I didn't expect was for him not to, which is why it took me a few seconds to even register in my mind what happened next. Apparently I had caused something in him to snap. My best guess was probably his wolf.

"Fine," he hissed gritting his teeth and snapping his hips forward.

It took me a few seconds to register the sting. But when I did, I hissed and my fingers clawed into Jacob's back as my eyes snapped closed, squeezing tightly to try and keep tears from spilling out.

"Fuck!"

Okay so maybe I went a little overboard. A little more preparation would've been smarter. But too late now.

"See!" Jacob exclaimed.

My eyes were closed tight, but I could sense that he was looking down at me.

"This is what I wanted to avoid."

I ignored him at first, holding my breath and counting down from 10 before letting a breath out.

"It's fine," I assured him still clawing at his shoulders. "I asked for it." Moments later, I added, "Just give me a minute or two."

And then he did.

A few minutes later, the pain had subsided enough that I was positive I could go on.

"Okay, you can move," I told him as I opened my eyes.

"Are you sure?" he asked.

I nodded. "Yes, I'm sure."

He slowly started moving in and out of me. There was still some pain, but there was also some pleasure. He continued his slow movements, obviously not wanting to hurt me anymore than he already had. I just hoped he knew it really wasn't his fault. I pushed him to do it how he did. Not him. Plus, he had his move to keep at bay, too. I'm sure the wolf had just as much to do with how it happened as I did.

"Damn it!"

I was brought back to reality by Jacob hissing.

"What?" I asked him, squinting my eyes up at him suddenly surprised by how red his face looked.

"Umm..." He looked down and my eyes followed.

"Oh," was all I could say seeing my stomach covered in a white sticky substance.

I had been so caught up in my own thoughts that I hadn't even realized he wasn't inside me anymore.

"You don't have to be embarrassed, you know," I said, realizing why his face had been so red. "Not everyone comes at the same time."

Jacob looked at me with a questioning look.

I shrugged. "Books and movies."

"Sure," Jacob chuckled, as he rolled off me.

We laid there for however long after that in silence. Well, this is awkward. He came early and I didn't come at all yet. Wait. Damn it.

"Umm, Jake..." I said quietly as I purposely avoided eye contact.

"Yeah?" he asked, and I could feel his eyes on me.

"Can you please help me out here?" I asked him still not making eye contact.

He sat up and his intense gaze somehow made me look at him, too. "With what?"

How exactly could I tell him this?" "Well, umm..." Just spit it out, Bella. "You came, I didn't."

"You didn't?"

I suddenly felt bad seeing the look on his face. He looked so put down.

I nodded, afraid to say something, not trusting myself not to say something wrong. "Well, hopefully it'll be different next time," I finally said.

With a suddenly amused smile as he raised an eyebrow at me, he asked, "Next time?"

So, that's what the sad, put down look was all about. He thought I wouldn't want another time because of what happened. Oh, you naïve boy.

"Yeah, a next time that won't happen if you don't make me come," I teased him.

"Oh now we can not have that, can we?" he asked leaning over me again.

I shook my head. "No, no we can't."

"Well, let's see what I can do about that then." He grinned and then set to work.

**~HM~**

My jealous side was satisfied five minutes and two mind-blowing as always orgasms later.

"Now we both will always have a special part of each other." I smiled, walking out of the water from cleaning myself off.

"Is that all this was?" Jacob asked, looking at me as if I were a ghost. "To stake your claim?"

"No!" I exclaimed quickly.

Well maybe it was partially the truth.

"This was just a release. Remember the deal of BFWB's? I needed a release, so I got one. Plus you followed me here. So obviously you needed one as well," I pointed out as I got dressed.

Oh my god. Seriously, Bella? Think before you speak from now on.

I was afraid of how Jacob would respond to what I had just said, and I waited nervously for his reply.

"You were jealous."

My eyes widened. Oh, damn! Why couldn't he have just been mad instead?

"What? No! Jealous of what?" I asked him, playing it off as if I didn't know what he was thinking.

 Jacob chuckled, shaking his head. "You were jealous of Amy."

Under my breath, I muttered, "Great. The tramp has a name."

Jacob laughed.

"What?" I asked.

"Wolf hearing remember?" Jacob said smirking.

"Damn!"

Jacob laughed even more. "You know, Bells...jealous is the emotion of someone who loves another..."

I scoffed, rolling my eyes. "Keep dreaming, Jake."

"Face it, Bella...you're one step closer to admitting the truth to yourself and me as well as everyone else."

"Whatever, Jake," I said as I finished getting dressed and stomped off angrily.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Interesting first time. God, I hate writing first times. That's the first time I ever wrote a first time and I think I over did it. But, I figured with the jealousy and everything else, like time rush and such...visions and thoughts are clouded, right? Besides, not every first time is perfect and the mood isn't always set perfectly. So, I think I did okay...considering.
> 
> Well, at least now the first time is out of the way! Phew! What a relief!


	8. Chapter 7 - The Unusual Morning After

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Sexual words/thoughts and some cursing in this chapter. Turn back now if you think or know it'll offend you in some way.
> 
> Suggested listening for the story, to name a few: Hot Mess by Ashley Tisdale (story namesake) and Undercover by Selena Gomez

The next morning, I woke up both happy and content. Well that is until I went to roll over and my happy and content self was replaced by a groaning in pain version of myself. Now that I was aware of what the results of last night really were, I was definitely starting to regret my actions from the night before. Well okay, maybe that's not exactly the right way to put it. I was half regretting and half not regretting last night. Oh yeah because putting it that way is so much better than how I put it before. Get real, Bella.

I was regretting my actions because of the soreness between my legs now and how I had pushed Jake into having sex with me. I felt slightly guilty, even though I knew he wasn't fully against it. He just didn't like the fact that he had hurt me. Although, I did more or less ask for it. That is completely understandable on his part. I shouldn't have pushed him like I did. But I did, and there was no way to take it back. Not that I really even wanted to.

At the same time, I wasn't regretting last night at all. All because, even though only a week ago I was saving myself for someone else, my boyfriend who I'm suppose to love...now, I couldn't imagine having given myself to anyone else other than Jake, my best friend. Does that really make it any better, though? Or does that just make me an indecisive, horny 18 year old who needs some sort of professional help so that I could stop using all of the people in my life for selfish reasons?

Oh, forget it. I haven't even been awake for more than two minutes and I'm already over thinking so many things. Curse my natural born ability to over think everything. It wasn't helping in the slightest bit right now. It was instead making things even more complicated. I have never been more confused about anything in my entire life.

Over the past ten days, my world had changed drastically. Even more than it drastically changed with me being human and finding out that vampires and shape shifting wolves exist and that I'm surrounded by them. About a week ago, I had been perfectly happy with Edward and my future with him. But now...now I was beginning to wonder if that's really what I wanted?

If that's still what I really wanted then why was Jacob the only thing I could think about lately? Could it be that I was just thinking about him all the time because he was a constant outlet for my sexual frustration? No, of course not. Not even I'm that cold of a person. Plus, if that were the case then it wouldn't explain my jealousy from last night when I saw Jacob and that tr...Amy flirting.

Oh god. Was Jacob right? Is jealousy really the emotion of someone who loves someone else?

That question got hung up in my mind when Edward suddenly made his presence known.

"Are you okay?" he asked, causing me to sit up in bed abruptly and jump about half way to the ceiling.

Damn! What was up with him always sneaking up on me as of late?

"My god, Edward," I breathed out, my hand instinctively placed over my heart. "I swear you're gonna give me a real heart attack one of these days."

"Are you okay?" he asked me again.

I turned my head to look at him. My brows knitted as proof to my confusion.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I answered, throwing the covers off of me and getting out of bed. "Why wouldn't I be?" I asked him, wondering about the cause of his concern.

Edward scrunched up his nose in disgust as he answered, "I smell blood on you."

Oh shit!

"And mutt," he snarled just seconds later.

Great! Let's see you talk yourself out of this one, Bella.

"Oh, well, umm, I...uhh...umm..." I trailed off having no idea at all what to say.

Damn it! I knew I should of showered or washed up better. I was just too tired when I got home that a shower wasn't even on my mind really. Plus, I had to continue on with my "I don't feel good" excuse that I had told Charlie to get him to bring me home early. What better way to do that than to go straight to bed?

"What happened last night?" Edward asked curiously.

I could tell by the tone of his voice and his body language that he was trying not to lose it. He honestly believed that Jacob hurt me last night. No matter how true it actually was, it wasn't like it was a bad hurt or an on purpose hurt. Therefore, Edward really had no right to be mad in the protective sense. I hated how he always jumped to conclusions that Jacob would hurt me. I mean, he knew just as much as anyone else how much Jacob loved me. He would never purposely hurt me like Edward's so quick to think.

"Nothing," I answered lying unnecessarily.

"He hurt you, didn't he?!" Edward snarled a little louder than I was comfortable with.

"Shh! You are going to wake Charlie!" I hissed at him in a whisper.

What the hell? Always jumping to conclusions. I mean yes, okay, Jacob did hurt me. But just not in the way Edward thinks. I wonder how he'd react if I answered with that? Yeah, right. That would boil over like water left alone on a temperature set too high stove.

"No, he didn't! It's..." I started to answer.

Think, Bella.. Think. Oh! Oh! I got it!

"It's just that..." I paused for a moment. "I'm spotting, okay," I breathed out like it was the most awful, yet also true thing in the world. "It's almost that time of month," I lied quickly.

Good one, Bella.

"Are you sure?" he asked me doubtfully.

Was he serious right now?! Questioning my girly lie. Oh god, no!

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

Awkward alert!

Awkward alert!

"Cause' that blood does not smell like..."

Oh, damn! He's serious alright! What the hell?! Gross!

Quick!

Run now!

Take cover!

"Ew, Edward! Stop! Just stop!" I exclaimed as loudly but quietly as I could so that I wouldn't wake up Charlie myself.

What the hell was he thinking right now? Why couldn't he just let it go and skip the awkwardness.

"Who the hell died and made you the period expert?!" I snapped suddenly, surprising even myself with my out of the blue outburst.

Another good one, Bella! Add some bitchiness! It only adds proof that I'm not lying. Which is quite ironic because I really am lying straight through my teeth. What the hell is wrong with me lately?

"You know you should go," I said after a moment. "Give me the rest of the day to myself."

"What? No, not after..."

I held up my hand to silence him. "Don't you dare finish that sentence with anything about Jacob," I scolded, shaking my finger at him with a scowl on my face.

I had felt the sudden urge to go on the defensive and defend Jacob.  ** _My Jacob._  **Nobody and I mean nobody will get away with saying something bad about him in front of me again. Oh, wow. Where'd this protectiveness come from all of a sudden?

I was brought back to reality by Edward's cautious voice.

"Bella..."

"No," I said sternly as I shook my head. "I am trying to get back in his good graces. I need my best friend." I actually admitted that out loud to someone else other than myself for the first time. "And you being here trying to say he hurt me...it is truly not helping the matter."

"But, Bella..."

God, he's so persistent. It's annoying. Why was it that it was only now that I was starting to see the obsessiveness of his words and actions?

"Just go, Edward. I'll see you at school tomorrow. We'll talk then," I told him, avoiding eye contact with him.

"Bella, please. I did not mean to offend you," he apologized.

I took a deep breath and looked up at him. I shook my head at him and sighed.

"I accept your apology, but I still want you to go. Right now."

"Bella..."

"No. Go before I scream and wake up Charlie," I threatened.

It wouldn't do much obviously. But I knew it would be enough to get Edward to leave.

"I will see you at school tomorrow," I repeated from moments earlier.

Edward opened his mouth to protest against me, but closed it and left the way he entered.

I sighed a sigh of relief when he left. In a weird way, the atmosphere felt lighter now that he was gone.

**~HM~**

After Edward left, I took my time getting ready for the day. It was Sunday so I wasn't sure exactly what I'd be doing. I had made no prior plans with anyone for the day. Not that I really ever did most times. I wished more than anything that I could see Jacob again. But I knew just showing up there would be pushing it. Also calling would make for there to be a big possibility that Billy would answer, and that wouldn't be good.

I just wanted to somehow make sure that Jacob and I were both on good terms after last night. What with us having sex and then me stomping off angrily and what not. It was easy for what happened and the aftermath to make me wonder if things would be weird between us now or not. I really hoped it would be the latter.

When I got downstairs, there was a note taped to the refrigerator.

_Bella,_

_Gone fishing with Billy for the day._

_Be back late tonight._

_Love,_

_Dad_

The realization dawned on me, fast and hard (no pun intended) as I read the note and I could feel my stomach start to do happy somersaults and cart wheels. So that meant that Jake was home alone.

I practically dove for the phone on the wall, and frantically dialed the number I had known by heart for a while now.

The phone rang and rang, but I got no answer.

I hung up.

Seconds later, I called again. Still no answer.

Damn it! Why wasn't he answering the phone?

I called a third time. And this time I wasn't really surprised that I got no answer. But it did bother me more than I could even care to admit.

Maybe he was out with the pack today? That was more than likely the right explanation.

But still. I would've thought he'd come to see me, especially after last night. Oh my gosh! Wait a second. That's it. It all made sense now. My fear from seconds before was right.

Jacob was avoiding me. I just knew it. And you know what, I refused to stand for it for even a second longer. Stupid charade be damned. I was going to go make Jacob talk to me. I was going to confront him about last night. Whether he liked me confronting him about it or not. He would not avoid me any longer after last night's events. I simply wouldn't allow it.

Oh my goodness. Now who do I sound like acting like this?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know. No Jacob this chapter. But the ending explained that. He will be back next chapter though, I promise. And so will the limes and/or lemons! Hehe!
> 
> On another note, at certain points in writing this story, I feel like Bella and I are releasing our inner Carrie Bradshaw's. It's weird but very amusing when you really think about it. I have never before in my history of writing Bella so far had as much fun as I'm having with writing her inner monologue in this story. It's so fun and funny!


	9. Chapter 8 - ...you're my favorite guy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Sexual content and some cursing in this chapter. Turn back now if you think or know it'll offend you in some way.

After it all clicked in to place and I realized that Jacob was avoiding me, I made it my biggest obligation to confront him. I was going to stop at nothing to make sure that things weren't awkward between us. I couldn't imagine if they were, especially after...this may make me sound corny and tad bit clingy, but...especially after what happened between us last night. Painful or not, it was something special for the both of us. There was absolutely no denying it.

Without another second thought, I grabbed my truck keys and ran out the door. I pushed my old truck as close to the max as I could without stalling her all the way to La Push. It wasn't until I passed the Forks and La Push line that I slowed down to a normal speed. I was still in a hurry to get to Jacob, but I also didn't want him to hear me coming from a mile away at top speed. If that wouldn't make someone suspicious, then I honestly don't know what would. Plus, I didn't want to give Jacob a chance to run away before I even had sight of him.

The closer and closer I got to his house, the more anxious I became. So many thoughts and possibilities were running through my head. What if last night changed everything between Jacob and I completely? What if we couldn't go back to how we use to be? What if last night was really a mistake that cost us our friendship? Oh, god. I couldn't even begin to imagine what my life would be like without Jacob in it. He was my best friend. My sun. My Jacob. The thought of losing him was almost too much to bare.

For a moment, I had to pull over to the side of the road and get my bearings back.

Once back on the road, I forced myself to throw out all of the negative thoughts and possibilities. Instead, I focused on the positive ones. What if last night strengthened our friendship? What if after we talked things through things were different between us in a good way? What if now we would be closer than ever? Yeah, I really liked those possibilities the most. Now it was just a case of me expecting the worst and hoping for the best. I'd find out soon enough.

With a deep inhale and exhale of breath, I turned into the driveway.

My breath caught momentarily in my throat when I saw that Jake wasn't hope alone as I had hoped when I saw Charlie's note earlier. Nope, it was just my luck that the pack was there. They were already halfway across the grass to the woods. Apparently, I had showed up just as they were all leaving to do whatever the pack did on Sunday's. Or, I don't know, whatever it is. Well, too bad. I hope they don't mind me stealing Jacob away for a while.

Holding on to what confidence I still had left, I pulled up in front of the red house and turned off the truck. Refusing to back out now, I got out of the truck and slammed the door as a way to get their attention. Well, mainly Jacob's. Even though, I'm sure they already knew I was here because of how loud my truck is. But, a little more noise never hurt anyone or anything, right?

Alright, Bella. Inner talk to self pep talk time. You can do this. You have to make sure things aren't awkward between you and Jake now. You know you'd never be able to bounce back from losing him. So, make sure you haven't. Last night wasn't perfect, but the first time never is. All you have to do is make sure he knows that and knows that it's okay. There's no reason to avoid you. Or to want to end your friendship, especially after everything you two have been through together. The good and the bad.

Okay, pep talk over. Now to get Jacob's attention. It really irked me that, even though, I knew he had heard the truck pull up and me slam the door and yet he still was pretending not to. He was still avoiding me even with me being right here. What a jerk right now. No, this is not going to happen. This will not do. Oh, god...I'm releasing my inner Dr. Seuss part of me. Where's a wall when you need one? Goodness gracious. Alright, here goes nothing. One more chance at getting him to acknowledge you.

"Hey, Jake!" I exclaimed, yet he still kept walking.

Really? He was going to play it this way. Now he was being an even bigger jerk.

"I know you hear me!" I tried again, still nothing. Although, if I really paid attention, I could swear I saw him slow down slightly.

Oh my ever-loving god. Seriously? It's one thing to ignore me when I let my truck do the attention grabbing, but me, myself...yeah, no. I won't take that sitting down or standing still, in this case.

"Darn it, Jake! Stop being a freaking jerk!" I hissed, not being able to resist stomping my foot like a little kid who was angry for whatever reason.

As it turns out, that time it worked.

Jacob stopped walking and turned his head to look at me.

I put on my best angry face and crossed my arms over my chest as emphasis to my facial expression.

Listening really closely, I realized I was in a good position to just barely make out what they were saying. The one down fall to being wolves surrounded by trees...in human form their loud voices echo, especially Sam's. Although, his voice is already loud as it is. I wonder how loud it was before he first phased. Maybe, it's just the voice he was blessed with? Oh, who cares. That's not why I came here.

"Send her away," I heard Sam order Jake, and I couldn't stop the eye roll that my eyes and mind pretty much agreed to on their own accord.

"You'd think she'd get the memo she's not wanted here by now," Paul snarled, no surprise there.

I couldn't help but smile and calm down just slightly when I heard Jake's voice.

"Let me take care of this. Go wait for me in the woods."

Sam looked to be thinking of a protest, but after a moment, he nodded his head and motioned for the others to follow him to the woods. "Alright, fine. Let's go." Then he looked back at Jacob. "Make it quick."

Jacob nodded in understanding before turning completely towards me and making his way over to me.

On his way over, my eyes roamed his body, up and down, on repeat. I unconsciously wet my lips and sighed. I couldn't even begin to describe what I was feeling. I was suddenly overwhelmed by the need to touch him, to roam my hands all over his body, and...

No! No, Bella! Cut it out. This isn't the time or place. Cool your horses and wait until a better time.

I was about to protest against my own self when suddenly Jake was in front of me, only inches away.

"What are you doing here, Bella?" he asked, the tone in his voice huskier and deeper than "My Jacob's" voice.

It sent shivers down my spine and a warm sensation down between my thighs. But, I brushed it off because that's not the main reason I came here.

"You were avoiding me," I said dropping my arms to my side and avoiding eye contact at first.

"No, I wasn't," he said.

I could feel his gaze intensely on me.

"Don't lie to me," I replied, feeling the pull to look up at him. "I know you were," I confessed when our eyes finally met.

"I wasn't avoiding you," Jacob tried to assure me, but I wasn't buying it.

I ignored him, not wanting to continue on with the...I wasn't avoiding you, yes you were, no, yes...back and forth argument. "I mean, after last night..." I started.

Jacob suddenly cut me off mid-sentence. "You need to go," he demanded.

My eyes snapped open wide. "What?" I asked taken off guard by his sudden, out of the blue, demand.

It took me a few moments before I realized that Jacob didn't really mean it. He was just saying it to keep up the charade.

"Oh," was all I said as I felt relieved.

"Meet me at the treaty line in half an hour," Jacob whispered and even more relief, mixed with anticipation coursed through me.

I nodded. "Okay."

"Act like I just told you off when you leave."

"Alright, I'm pretty good at that," I said shuddering at the memory.

"Half an hour," he repeated before turning and running off towards where the pack had went.

Putting on my best sad and angry face, I turned to leave.

When I got into the truck and started the engine, my mind, on its own accord, wandered to last night. And, that's when it hit me. Oh, shoot! Just in case, while waiting for the half hour to pass, I drove to the drug store. I wanted to be safer than sorry this time around.

**~HM~**

By time I arrived at the treaty line, it was already ten minutes passed the half an hour Jake had said. I fully blamed the woman in front of me in line at the store. I mean, seriously? Why would anyone go to the store if they knew beforehand that there was a chance that all of their credit cards would be declined? For the life of me, I could never figure out the answer to that question. That's what cash is for. Alright, so, maybe, I'm being a little too bitchy over it because she made me late to meeting up with Jake? But, still, she deserves it. It's called common sense woman. Now if only she could hear me think that.

After she finally got her crap together, it was my turn at the checkout counter. I had been so relieved that I was running out of time. Otherwise, I would've had more time to be embarrassed about what I was buying. The look the cashier had given me had been priceless and definitely a look that would've normally had me running into a corner and hiding. But, I had other things on my mind that entire time. And, that was Jacob. As well as what exactly I was buying was more than likely going to be used for.

My thoughts were interrupted when the passenger door opened, and Jake got in.

"You're late," he frowned, stating the obvious, while slamming the door shut.

"I know," I sighed.

"That's a first," he remarked.

I smiled for a brief moment. "You'll thank me later."

Jacob turned his head to look at me. "I will?" he asked, eyebrow cocked.

I nodded and then changed the subject instantly. "So, why were you avoiding me?"

He was quick to jump back on the defensive denying all the while suddenly avoiding eye contact with me, looking at any and everything, but my eyes. Even my hair was more inviting to him at the moment. "I wasn't."

I huffed and frowned. I was not giving up until he admitted the truth. "It was because of the other night, wasn't it?" I guessed.

Jacob sighed, caving faster than I had thought he would. "Yes."

I sighed as well as my suspicion was confirmed. "I thought so."

"It's just..." he started, but he stopped himself.

I shook my head and waved it off. "It's fine. I get it."

"Do you really?" he asked doubtfully.

I nodded. "Of course. I shouldn't have pushed you and your wolf so hard."

"No, you shouldn't have," he agreed still making no move to look at me again.

"But, I don't regret it," I told him, trying to coax him into making eye contact. "And, I wouldn't change it for the world," I added placing my hand on his shoulder.

And, just like that the atmosphere changed between us. It was no longer as awkward as before. Now, it was more...I don't really know...it's hard to find a word for it. It was just different. Different in a good way, though.

Me - 1. Awkwardness - 0.

"Bella," Jacob breathed my name out like it was a prayer as he finally turned his head to look at me.

"Jacob," I returned in the same breathy tone.

Then there was silence. It didn't last long. I couldn't deal with it. The silence had brought the awkward back.

Me - 1. Awkwardness - 1.

I caved quickly and broke it. "Please, don't let our first time make things awkward between us now," I practically pleaded with him.

"I'm not."

I sighed. "Yes, you are."

He looked at me with a slightly confused expression.

"See, hear, and feel this..." I said pointing back and forth between me and him. "This...us...it is all awkward right now."

"I'm not trying to make it awkward."

"I know you're not." I offered a small smile. "But, you are." I turned my body completely and maneuvered myself so that I was sitting on my legs in a kneeling position. "It may sound weird, but last night was great."

Jacob raised an eyebrow and asked doubtfully "Great?"

I shook my head and smile. "So what if it wasn't perfect?" I asked shrugging my shoulders. "Perfect doesn't exist," I informed him as if he didn't already know. "It hurt, but that was to be expected. Plus, have you seen yourself?" I asked, without thinking about what I was saying first, causing myself to giggle and flush a deep beat red. But, the embarrassment was quickly overridden when I caught onto the contagious grin that was suddenly on Jacob's face.

Me - 2. Awkwardness - 1.

I win!

"Of course, I have," Jacob grinned and I instantly found myself regretting, just a bit, stroking his ego more than it was already stroked as is.

"Then, you can understand why everything happened how it happened last night," I said putting everything together and finding whatever silver lining that I could.

"Maybe it'll make me sound like a girl by saying this, but..." Jacob paused and thought for a moment. "I just don't like to hurt you."

I offered and small smile and nodded my head in understanding. "I know you don't, Jake," I said leaning forward and kissing his cheek before leaning back to my original position. "It's over and done with now, Jacob. The worst is over and there's no reason to let it ruin anything between us now."

Oh, goodness gracious. This was so weird. Usually it was Jacob trying to get through to me about such serious things. What an interesting turn of events. Let's just hope I had a much better chance at getting through to him than he does or did to me. Otherwise, this would turn out to be a very dead end.

Here goes nothing.

I took a deep breath. "Oh, and, Jake."

"Yeah?"

"I meant what I said last night," I started and paused before finishing with, "I'm truly happy that you were my first. It made it perfect, even when to others it wouldn't be."

"Really?" he asked as if he hadn't believe me at all the first time I had said it.

Well, that surely feels like a hard blow.

I played off the small pain I was feeling pretty well, I'd say. "Yes, really. I couldn't have wished for it to be with anyone else other than you. My best friend. My sun. My Jacob."

By time I finished talking, I was laughing.

"What?" Jacob asked giving me a weird look.

"I sounded like a fluffy poetry writer," I answered still laughing.

"There's nothing wrong with that," he said, laughing along with me.

The awkwardness was completely gone now.

And, that awkwardness was instantly replaced with something else.

**_Need._ **

I'm not sure if it was just on my part or if it was on his part to? But, their was only one way to find out.

I felt the sudden, out of the blue, urge to have him inside me again. I needed to be able to feel what the pain from the night before wouldn't let me feel. The worst part was out of the way now. Now it was time for us to override our first time with a better second time. I'm sure he wouldn't protest. I mean, I wouldn't think he would. Not after we finally established and agreed that the way last night happened was right for the circumstances.

"Jake," I whispered his name.

Jacob looks at me questioningly.

"Are the pack anywhere nearby?" I asked him, praying that he'd say no.

"No, they all went to Sam and Emily's for breakfast. Why?"

Oh, thank god!

In an instant, I launched myself across the seat at him and straddled his lap, kissing him with just about everything I had in me.

"I need you, Jake. Oh, god. I need you. Please, Jake," I confessed and pleaded, trailing kisses up and down his jaw and all over his face.

"We can't," Jacob protested, but made no move to push me away.

I would've been extremely put off if I didn't hear the remorse in his voice. "I didn't bring..."

Oh goodness gracious! De ja vu, anyone? Good thing I came prepared.

I cut him off. "It's fine. I figured you wouldn't have time to get any," I batted my eyelashes at him suggestively as I reached behind me to the glove box.

"What are you getting at, Bella?"

"I went to the drug store and got some," I answered. "That's why I was late."

Jacob grinned. "You were right."

"About what?"

"I am thanking you," he laughed referring to what I said earlier.

I laughed, too. It was contagious. "Umm...so, I got the...umm...largest size they had," I said, blushing profusely, while handing him the box.

Jacob smiled and kissed me softly on the lips. "You're really cute when you're embarrassed," he said when he pulled back.

I playfully smacked him on the shoulder. "Shut up!"

"What? It's true."

"I..."

Yeah, okay. He got me there. I couldn't think of a protest to that.

Therefore, there was only one other thing I could do. My own form of protest without words. Not that it was really any sort of protest at all. But, I'm sure I can trick myself into believing that it is. Well, actually, at this point, I could trick myself into believing anything. Just as long as I got what I currently had a craving for.

"How about we both shut up and just start doing instead?" I spoke suggestively, wiggling my eyebrows at him. "After all, we don't have all day."

"Do you really have to ask?"

"You wouldn't think so."

"No, and, yet here we are."

"Are we really going to play this game right now?"

"I don't know, are we?"

"No," we both said at the same time making the decision for each other before we both leaned in meeting in the middle with a hot and heavy kiss that literally took both of our breaths away.

"We can do slow build up another time," I said against his skin, trailing frantic kisses down his jaw to his neck, already moving my hands to work on the buttons and zipper of his shorts.

"Agreed," he replied, nibbling at my ear, while working on the buttons and zipper of my own jeans.

"Holy..." was all I got out seconds later when Jacob slid his hand into my jeans, wasting no time pushing my panties to the side and getting to the part of me that he desired to touch the most.

Wanting to return the favor, I reached my hand into his shorts and wrapped my hand around his semi-hard cock. Yeah, but not for long. Being as if he's part wolf and all, I highly doubt it'd take me too terribly long to get him fully erect. I began moving my hand over him in tune with his fingers working their way in and out of me at a mind-numbing pace. It wasn't long before I was dripping wet on his fingers and he was fully erect. Just as I figured.

My hands searched the seat next to us for the box of condoms that had earlier been forgotten. After a few seconds of moving my hand around, I found the box. I picked up the box and pushed it into his chest.

"Now," I said throwing my head back just as my first orgasm ripped through me giving him the perfect opportunity to kiss my neck and suck on my pulse point, driving me farther up into the clouds and back. "Now," I repeated, closing my eyes, continuing to bask in the afterglow of my orgasm.

After I came back down from my high, I was quick to try and rid myself of my jeans and panties. But, it was harder than I thought. Since we were in my truck and there wasn't too much room to do anything in, it was almost impossible. Damn! What were we suppose to do now? I needed more than this. I needed him. And, somehow I would get more. I would get him. I would think of something. I have to think of something.

"How are we...I don't have room to get my pants off," I whined still trying to wiggle them farther down my legs.

"Turn around," Jacob ordered making me raise an eyebrow curiously at him. "Turn around. It'll be easier."

Sounds like he knows what he's doing.

"Have you done this before?" I asked as the jealous feeling from last night slowly began to creep up again.

Jacob leaned his head back against the truck window. "No, pack mind," he chuckled.

The chuckle was contagious and I found myself giggling. Of course, pack mind. They were all male. One of them was bound to have been in such a situation before. But, really, I'd rather not think about that. So, yeah, I'll just leave it be.

"Alright, good enough for me," I said maneuvering myself around so my back was to his chest.

"Wait a second. Let me..." Jacob trailed off keeping me from sitting down on him.

I heard him moving around behind me. I figured he was working on getting his shorts off, so I left him to it. But, I was anxiously waiting to get on with it already. If I didn't already know about the possible consequences, I would've already had him inside me. But, there were precautions needed and my impatient self would have to wait just a little longer.

By the time I heard the sound of the foil packet being opened, I was doing a happy dance on the inside.

Finally.

Anytime now.

Another few moments later, I felt Jacob's hands on my hips and I was being lifted and lowered down onto him.

Oh, thank god.

I wasn't sure how much longer it'd be until I internally combusted.

I was extremely thankful that I had thought to get the lubricated type of condoms earlier. Jacob was able to slide into me a lot easier, and less painful, than the night before because of my thoughtfulness.

I gasped at the slight bit of uncomfortable pain I felt at being stretched for only the second time ever. But, it soon subsided, and I could finally bask in just how good and full I felt with Jacob inside of me.

"Bells?" I heard Jacob ask from behind me.

I had a feeling he probably heard my gasp. Partly, because I knew him well. And, partly, because he had stopped moving me and was now holding me in place, only three-fourth of the way down on him.

I turned my head to the best of my ability and smiled at him as assuringly as possible. "It's fine. Just a little sore still from last night. But, I swear it's fine."

"Bells," Jacob breathed out doubtfully.

Still not believing me. What's a girl to do to just get laid around here?

With a sigh, I leaned my entire body back against him, so that my head was leaning back against his shoulder. He turned his head to meet mine. Our lips connected in a weird way, but neither of us seemed to mind.

Smiling, I whispered against his lips, "Shhh. It's perfectly okay."

Then I kissed him softly, taking his hands in mine and moving them up to cup my shirt and bra covered breasts, to keep them occupied, as I slid the rest of the way down him.

I sighed, happily and content, against his lips as I took in just how good he felt in me. This time was most definitely different than last night. I could actually enjoy him and myself this time. I gasped into his mouth as his hands began to knead me through my shirt, and I pulled away from him, biting my lower lip, as my hands found their way to his upper thighs. With some difficulty, but not too much that I was going to give up, I was able to use him as leverage as I slowly started to lift myself up off of him just to sink back down.

Both of us moaned at the sensation.

After a few times, we got into a rhythm that worked for us both.

God, it felt so good.

If anyone had told me this is where I'd be even a month ago, I would've broken out into a fit of laughter. But, now...wow. I couldn't believe that I had waited this long. It was as if this feeling, and the position I was in, and who I was with...it was all almost too good to be true. It was as if it would all just come crashing down on me any minute now. But, for the life of me, I didn't want it to. I never wanted this to end. Any of this. It was amazing and perfect and everything good in the world...in my world.

"Stop going into space, Bells," Jacob said breaking me away from my thoughts.

"What?" I asked, panting.

"You're spacing out," Jacob answered nipping at my ear.

"Sorry," I moaned as a particular down stroke made Jacob hit a certain pleasurable spot inside of me.

"It's just..." I started, but no full sentences would form.

"Just what?" he asked lifting his hips to meet me on another downward move.

"Feels too good to be true," I managed. "Oh, god."

"What is it, Bells?"

I could only groan as I quickened my pace. "Close," was all I got out.

I didn't even have to look at him to know Jacob was smirking.

"Come for me, then," he whispered huskily into my ear as he moved his hand down to rub my clit at a quick pace.

He didn't have to tell me twice.

I screamed out his name as I came fast and hard, clenching around him tightly. It wasn't long until he followed me making me smile as he screamed out my own name. At that moment, I knew that I never wanted him to scream out any other girl's name but mine. Just mine. Only mine. No one else's. And, so help me God if I ever were to find out he screamed out anyone else's name, but mine. Oh, no. I'd be sure to go all bat crap crazy on someone if that ever happened.

"Holy crow. That was..."

I wasn't even sure how to describe what just happened.

"Great? Perfect? Amazing? Satisfying?" Jacob spoke, supplying me with many possibilities.

"All of the above," I smiled lifting myself off of him and sitting down next to him on the seat, curling up into his side.

"See, I told you the worst was behind us," I smiled up at him, craning my neck to place a kiss on his lips.

"Yes, you did," Jacob returned my smile, kissing me back.

We both sat there in silence basking in the afterglow.

"So, how'd you get the pack to let you go?" I asked after a while just to get a conversation going.

I didn't want Jacob and I to be the type of people who have sex and just leave it at that. I still wanted us to be best friends and to just talk about anything and everything with one another.

"Told them I had plans," he answered simply.

"What kind of plans?" I asked, my nosy side getting the better of me.

"Doesn't matter," he was quick to answer. Almost too quick.

"Well, if it doesn't matter, then it won't matter if you tell me," I countered.

Jacob sighed then and gave in. "I told them I had plans with a girl."

Well, that wasn't a lie...exactly.

"A girl?" I asked, pushing away from him and looking at him with cocked eyebrow.

Jacob nodded.

I thought for a moment before it suddenly clicked in my mind.

"Oh my god!" I exclaimed just as the jealousy came back quickly this time, no slow going this time. "You told them you had plans with Amy, didn't you?!"

Jacob looked away just as he nodded.

"Of course," I scoffed turning my head in the opposite direction of his, angry now.

Not that I really had the right to be mad. He wasn't mine to be jealous for or angry over. But, damned if I didn't feel like he was and that I did.

"It doesn't matter, though," Jacob said cupping my face with his hands, making me turn my head back to look at him. "She's just a cover up. I'm here with you."

The jealousy and nosiness teamed up just then. "Is there something going on between you two?" I accused.

Jacob looked at her with a knowing look. "Jealous again?"

"Pfft. Are you serious?" I asked unnecessarily defending myself to him.

I already knew he knew he was right.

"What? It's a perfectly good question."

And, just like that. A different switch in me flipped.

"Get out," I demanded as I pulled up my jeans, but didn't even bother with buttoning them.

"Bells..." Jacob tried to reason with me.

"Don't Bells me," I snapped glaring at him momentarily before looking anywhere but at him.

"Are you really going to be like this?" Jacob asked his voice full of disbelief.

I crossed my arms across my chest and huffed defensively, "I'm not being like anything."

"Why can't you just admit that you're jealous?" Jacob asked.

"Because I'm not!" I exclaimed.

"Yes you are."

"Am not."

"Are too."

"Screw you!" I hissed.

"Already did," Jacob retaliated.

"You ass!" I yelled.

"But, I'm your ass," Jacob smirked, I didn't have to look at him to be able to sense the smirk.

"You wish!" I spat.

"You know it," Jacob said, letting his cocky side come out to play.

"Just get out!" I demanded again. "Go see Amy or something."

Jacob growled and said my name in a warning tone.

I rolled my eyes. "Just go!"

"No."

"Fine!"

"Just admit it," Jacob said.

"No," I replied.

"Bella."

"I'm not admitting something that isn't true," I said defiantly.

"But, it is true."

I wanted off of this subject so badly. And, I especially wanted to just shut him up. But, I knew that telling him to leave wasn't going to work. I did, however, know one thing that would work.

My eyes lit up and I smirked. "Let's do it again!"

"What, no."

"Just shut up Jacob!" I said.

"No, we're in the middle of a fi..." he started, but I cut him off with a harsh kiss.

While he was distracted by my kiss, I quickly pushed my jeans back down. In an instant, I pulled away from him and got back into my earlier position, practically impaling myself on him.

Both of us moaned and I knew right away that I had gotten what I wanted. The conversation was over and I didn't have to argue with him any longer.

"Good boy," I couldn't help but smirk moving back down over him again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, does that make up for no Jacob last chapter?!
> 
> Gotta love horny Bella. She's almost like a wolf herself, sorta. Always ready to go again. She's quickly learning that once you go Black, you never go back. Hehe! I forgot where I heard that quote first, but I couldn't stop myself from using it, anyways. It's too perfect not to use.


	10. Chapter 9 - So unruly, so uncivilized.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm just gonna warn you now...get ready because this chapter has a lot of things going on. You'll see what I mean by the end. This chapter is one of those that just gives and keeps on giving. Te-he-he!
> 
> Warning: Sexual content and some cursing in this chapter. Turn back now if you think or know it'll offend you in some way.

So, once again Jacob and I parted on a sour note. After the second time, there hadn't been much talking. Only getting dressed. Then, he left. And, I went home...angry. I wasn't sure if I was angry at him for pushing the jealousy crap on me yet again. Or if I was mad at myself for being stubborn and arguing with him about it. Especially, when deep down I knew all too well that he was definitely on to something.

Goodness gracious!

Why did I have to be born so damn stubborn?!

I just couldn't admit it.

I just couldn't let myself admit it, out loud, because then the guilt would set in. The guilt, that I was hiding, of not only me [c](http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9464003/10/Hot-Mess)heating on my boyfriend, but the guilt that was me actually starting to realize I was feeling something more for my best friend than I ever thought I would. I didn't want to ruin what we had now...or before now.

Oh my god!

That's it!

That's my problem!

I'm starting to feel more for  _ **him**_  than just on a best friend level.

And, as much as the thought made me want to run and hide and pretend like nothing from the past two weeks had actually happened at all...I knew that I couldn't.

I wouldn't be able to.

No matter how hard I tried.

I was in this for the long run.

And, I was the main one to blame.

I should have known that something this would happen. Deep down, I did. But, I still agreed to it. Maybe, it was the part of me buried deep, that wasn't one for playing games, coming to the surface. Maybe it was taking over my judgments and making me agree to things that deep down I really did want or know was right, but on the surface I wasn't sure about.

Gah!

This is just too much for me to handle!

Why me?!

Are you there, God?!

Why me?!

What did I ever do to deserve any of this?!

**~HM~**

The next day, a dreaded Monday, at school the only thing I could think of was when the next time I'd see  _ **him**_ would be. It had actually been the only thing I could think of since my revelation the night before. I was starting to feel more for Jacob than just on a best friend level, and it was coming over me so quickly that I couldn't stand having the feeling that he was mad at me.

After how we ended yesterday together what else was I suppose to think? That everything is sunshine and rainbows between us? Yeah, right. I wish. There was no doubt in my mind that he wasn't exactly my biggest fan right now. Between the jealousy issue that I wouldn't admit to and my stubbornness of not admitting to how I really feel about him...yeah, put those two together and I'm sure they equal, he's mad at me.

Just my luck.

I suddenly felt the overwhelming need to see him and to make things right between us again.

And, soon.

My thoughts were intercepted just then by the musical voice that I had come to know quite well as late.

"Bella," the voice called my name.

Instinctively, my head turned towards the voice. I turned just in time to see Alice joyfully skipping over to my locker, well me, but anyways whatever, like she had no care in the world, which in a way was the truth.

"Hi, Alice," I offered a small smile, momentarily pushing my thoughts of Jacob to the side out of respect for Alice.

"Can we talk?" she asked with a smile that was bigger than the one I gave her.

I nodded my head. "Sure."

She looked around as if she was worried about something. "In private," she spoke again."

"Yeah, okay," I said eyeing her curiously as I closed my locker door and followed Alice outside to the picnic tables area where there were only a few other students. "So, what's up?" I asked sitting down at one of the table.

Alice sat down next to me with one legged crossed under her. "What's been going on with you lately, Bella?" she asked me concern written all over her face.

Well, that surely wasn't was I was expecting. "What are you talking about?" I asked her, half already having a feeling of what she was talking about, but also half still clueless and confused.

"You've been distancing yourself from Edward the past few weeks," she answered. Moments later, she added, with an even sadder tone, "And, me, too."

"Yeah, sorry about that," I apologized, my doubtful tone, shocking me.

What the hell? Was I honestly not sorry? If I was sorry, then what's with the doubtful tone?

Before I could question it any further, I heard Alice speak up again.

"And, you've been going blank quite a bit lately," she said. Then she gave me an accusing look before adding, "A lot of times after you've sent Edward away."

Mix up how she said it and the look she gave me and I was suddenly angry. How dare she? "You're watching my every move still?!" I asked, outraged.

"Edward and I just want to make sure you're safe," Alice answered defensively.

"Yeah, well, that's good and all, but..." The need to stand up for myself jumped to the surface like a shark out of the water for it's prey. "Cut it out," I demanded in a harsher tone than I was originally planning.

Alice's eyes widened at my outburst. "Bella..." she tried.

I didn't give her a chance. "No, Alice!" I exclaimed jumping up from my seat on the picnic bench. "I am tired of constantly being watched like I'm some kind of reality tv star!"

"Bella, please, calm down. Don't make a scene," Alice whispered, nodding her head behind me.

I turned my head to see that everyone who was outside now had their eyes on Alice and me. Yet, I couldn't find it in me to care. Let them hear and see. See if I give an actual fuck right now. This was all just getting to be way too much for me too handle. I was suddenly a ticking time bomb just waiting to explode. And, this right here was only the beginning of what I'd be like when the timer went off.

I turned back to look at Alice and shook my head, ignoring her pleas for me to not make a scene. "Who cares about making a scene?!" I asked continuing on with the unintentional, at first, harshness. "Stop it! Just stop it! Now! No more!" I yelled at her, grabbing onto my hair and pulling on it like a person who's completely lost it would to keep from reaching out and punching or slapping someone. "I'm sick and tired of being treated like some fragile doll who can't make proper decisions for herself. Just back off! No more watching over me! No freaking more!"

And, with that I turned and stormed off leaving a more than likely very shocked Alice behind.

I stormed up the stairs and into the school, pushing past and ignoring the crowd of students that had stopped to watch and or listen to my seconds earlier outburst.

I honestly could care less at this point what anyone thought of me.

I was on the edge of breaking down completely.

And, nobody and nothing could help me.

Well, okay, maybe there is one person who could.

**~HM~**

After that I was on edge every minute of every hour. As I had thought before, the only thing that kept me from losing whatever left over sanity I had was my thoughts of  ** _him._**  My instant, over and over again, replay of the day before when everything was good and hadn't gone to hell yet was all that was keeping me sane.

I have no idea how he held such a power over me. But, I'm thinking it might have something to do with him always being there for me when I need him. Yet, when those times that I need him come he doesn't push me and freak me out more. He listens and he's there for me. So, therefore, he's like my calming element.

And, in this situation, whether he's mad at me or not, thoughts of him are keeping me calm and sane enough on the outside, that no one suspects that on the inside I'm screaming my freaking heard off, that I can continue on with my day. Even if I did want to run and hide away instead of facing anymore of it. I knew that I had to keep it together. I couldn't let others and their words and actions have any negative effects on me anymore.

Just keep thinking of  _ **him.**_  Happy thoughts, Bella. Happy thoughts. Such as...

Thoughts of how it feels to be touched by  _ **him.**_

Thoughts of how it feels to be kissed by  **him.**

Thoughts of how it feels to be filled by  **him.**

Thoughts of...

Damn it!

In an instant, I was brought back to reality with a not so fun headache.

Only then, when I felt my butt connect with the still slightly muddy ground, from the rain a few days ago, did I remember that I was in gym class.

I had zoned out and as a result I quickly realized that I had just been hit in the head with a football.

Just my luck.

"Bella, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to hit you! I swear I didn't!" I heard a familiar voice exclaim as I slowly got my bearings back.

I shook it off and slowly got up off the ground, brushing off my back, wincing at the pain that coursed through me when I brushed off my butt. I had definitely hit my butt good when I fell back. Damn.

"It's fine, Mike," I assured him, waving a hand at him as if to brush him and the accident off as no big deal.

"Are you okay?" he asked, concerned.

I nodded my head. "I'm fine, Mike" I said offering him a small smile.

"Isabella, go to the locker room and get cleaned up. You can sit out the rest of class since that looked and sounded like a hard fall," I heard the gym teacher, Coach Clapp, call to me from where he stood on the sidelines.

I looked over at him and nodded with a smile. "Thank you, Coach," I called back to him.

And, just like that I was actually thank God that Mike hit me with that ball and knocked me down onto my ass.

Although, I wasn't exactly happy that he had disturbed me from my thoughts.

My amazing, pleasurable thoughts.

But, getting out of the rest of gym class was perfectly fine by me and, just a little bit, made up for Mike interrupting my thoughts.

With another reassuring smile to Mike that I would be fine, I turned and made my way to the gym and into the girl's locker room. I grabbed a towel from the towel bin and made my way to the showers. I wanted to rinse the mud off of me and also see if the hot water would soothe the slight pain still in my butt from where it got most of the impact when it broke my fall.

**~HM~**

About ten minutes later, I was rinsed off and feeling better. I wrapped the towel around myself and stepped out. Just as I was about to go to the locker where my book bag and clothes were, it was made known that I wasn't alone. And, quite frankly, I wasn't sure if I had been alone at all the entire time. But, I wasn't completely sure.

"Care for another shower?" the very familiar voice, from my reality, dreams, and thought, asked from behind me.

I jumped at the voice and spun around quickly. "What?"

I couldn't control the smile that broke out across my face when I first saw Jacob standing there. But, then I frowned slightly. "What the hell are you doing here?" I asked giving him a confused look.

"I wanted to see you," he answered like it was the easiest answer he had ever spoke. "Is there a problem with that?" he asked, cocking an eyebrow at him.

"Well, Sort of," I answered honestly. "I mean, that's great and all that you wanted to see me..." I trailed off for a moment wondering what I should say next. "But this is the girl's locker room, Jake! A girl's locker room at a school you don't even go to!"

Oh, yeah, and there's the other thing.

"And, also, I figured after we parted on a sour note yesterday that you'd..." I trailed off again trying to think of a good way to word what I was going to say next. "You know want to be away from me for a while," I said the last part quietly, hating the thought and possibility that I could be right.

"So?" he asked, and I had a feeling it was his response to the first part of my worry. Yep. I was right. His next response proved it. "And, not possible. I could never stay away from you for a while, even if I am mad at you."

"So, you shouldn't be here! Wait, how'd you even get in here?" I asked, instinctively tightening the towel around me as I saw him eyeing me up and down. "And, oh, okay," I said to his latter response.

Jacob grinned and I knew he was about to say something sarcastic. "I walked. What? Do you think I teleported here or something?" Called it. "And, that's all you've got."

I rolled my eyes at him. "How'd you even know I was in here?" I asked before the thought of if I even wanted the answer could run through my kind. "And, yes. Yes, it is."

"I saw you fall and heard you get sent in here to clean up," he chuckled.

I flushed a light shade of embarrassed red and groaned. "Of course you did."

"I think it's adorable," he laughed taking a step closer to me.

I sarcastically laughed back "I'm glad my clumsy self amuses you."

"One of the many things," he smiled continuing his steps towards me until he was right in front of me.

For a moment, I couldn't speak or move. I don't know why, but I couldn't.

And, then I remembered something. "Wait, what did you say about another shower?"

With a mischievous grin on his face, Jacob leaned in close to me and my heart started to beat out of my chest. "You're gonna need one to get my scent off of you," he whispered huskily.

"Wha..."

I didn't even have a chance to get anything out before his lips were on mine, effectively muting me and throwing all sensible thoughts out of my mind.

I could definitely get used to these meet ups in random places like this.

Oh god, how much I wanted this right now.

But, something was keeping me from giving myself into my want completely.

After a few seconds I broke the kiss and pushed Jacob away from me. "Wait!" I exclaimed breathlessly. "I don't have anything to use to get your scent off," I frowned, realizing that that was the only thing keeping this from happening right now.

"Well, you're lucky that I came prepared then," Jacob smirked as he moved his lips to my neck, sucking and nipping, making my mind spin around in so many different directions.

I moaned managing to ask, "Prepared?"

Jacob nodded against my neck, not once stopping his torture. "Stopped by your house." Suck. "Got shampoo." Nip. "Body wash." Lick. "You're good."

And, that's all I needed to hear.

"Oh...okay," I smiled brightly grabbing his head and pulling him up to my level.

"Good," he smiled back leaning forward. "Now, shh," he murmured against my lips. "We don't have much time to do this."

I nodded my head in understanding and practically lunged at him knocking him back into the lockers behind him, attacking his lips with my own.

**~HM~**

The next few minutes were a blur. I don't know how or really remember what else happened between then and now. All I knew was that now, I was towel less, Jacob was without his shorts, and we were attached like leeches, no pun intended, on a human source while the hot water was pouring down onto us like a heavy rain storm.

Words couldn't even begin to describe how happy and relieved I was that Coach Clapp gave me the rest of gym off. This was so much better than football could ever dream of being. And, besides, with my clumsiness, I'd say out of the two things I could be doing right now...this was the more pleasurable, and less dangerous of the choices.

 _"_ So, what were you thinking about earlier?" Jacob asked bringing all of my attention back to him and only him.

"What?" I asked out of breath as I moaned and squirmed against the two fingers he currently had inside me, teasing me mercilessly.

"When you got hit with the ball you looked to be deep in thought," he said with a straight face, yet the smirk was in his eyes this time.

I could see the gleam that was taking over them.

Oh, god. He knew? But, how? How did he know? Oh, yeah, right. He was watching me. Wait...why? No, don't. It doesn't matter. There's no time to be thinking of anything else other than the task at hand. You're running on borrowed time.

"Oh, uhh...yeah," I breathed out.

"What were you thinking about?" he asked leaning forward again, but past my face this time.

I whisper moaned when I felt him nibbling at my ear while breathing into it, "You."

"Me?" he asked, once again looking at me now.

I groaned in protest at his mouth being away from me.

I nodded my head quickly like I had no control over it. "Yes, you."

"What about me?" he asked with a knowing look on his face.

"Oh, god," I moaned out, my eyes closing and rolling into the back of my head, as he quickened the pace of his fingers in and out of me.

"Bells...what about me?" he asked again.

"How you...how...oh, god..." I couldn't get it out.

He teasingly stopped his movements.

My eyes snapped open and I glared at him.

"Answer me," he demanded with an evil glint in his eyes.

He knew damn well what he was doing to me.

"How you felt inside me yesterday," I forced out.

He seemed happy with my answer and began his fingers movements again, making me cry out.

Thank god for the water masking out the sound of my loud cries. Otherwise, someone would've rushed in on us by now. I could only imagine what kind of an eye full they would get.

"Like this?" Jacob asked me.

I shook my head no. "Not exactly."

He cocked an eyebrow at me and withdrew his fingers from me completely. "Oh?"

I opened my mouth to protest, but didn't get the chance.

"Like this, then?"

Before I even knew what was happening he was inside me with a snap of his hips, filling me, oh so perfectly.

I cried out again, this time louder than before. "Yes!"

"Thought so," Jacob grinned before kissing me hard, taking my breath away even more than when he first filled me.

He quickly set a punishing pace as he kissed me frantically. I knew it was because of where we were and how much time we did or didn't have left. I almost wanted him to go slower so that I could savor this moment for a while. But, that was going to have to wait for another time. We had a deadline, for lack of better words, right now.

"Oh, god, Jake!" I moaned pulling away and leaning my head back against the shower wall.

The water cascading down us provided a bit of a lubricant for Jacob to slide in and out of me a bit easier.

I tried my best to keep up with him, bucking my hips to meet his movements. But, in the end it proved to be too much, and I just gave up and decided to enjoy the ride.

It didn't take too long for both of us to be at the brink of an orgasm. All it took was Jacob slipping a few fingers down between us and rubbing my clit at a speed that matched his pace for me to clench down and come so hard around him.

He kissed me quickly to silence my screams, which were so much louder than before.

"Holy fuck!" I exclaimed, in no control of my words still, when I came down from my high.

Jacob continued thrusting in and out of me not once breaking the pace that he had set to start with.

Before I knew it, I was close to my second orgasm. Oh, god. If this was anything like my first...

"JAC..." I started before being silenced by his mouth yet again as I rode through my second orgasm.

I didn't want to come alone this time, though, so I clenched around him as tightly as I could. I smirked in satisfaction as I got my wish and he was suddenly coming along with me.

**~HM~**

"That will never get old," I smiled brightly, beyond happy and content, as I finished getting dressed and smoothed down my clothes.

"No, it won't," Jacob agreed buttoning up his shorts.

I turned my head and smile at him, biting my lower lip. "When are we going to do this again?" I asked wiggling my eyebrows suggestively at him.

Jacob laughed. "You are insatiable," he said shaking his head.

"Hey!" I exclaimed. "You're the one who planned this. Not me," I scolded shaking a finger at him.

Jacob shrugged and moved until he was standing in front of me. "That may be, but if I remember correctly..." he leaned forward and pressed a gentle kiss against my lips. "You jumped me, not the other way around."

I jumped back and slapped his arm. "You ass!"

"Call me whatever you want," he grinned.

Just then the bell rang, and my eyes snapped open wide.

"Damn! That's the ending of this period bell! You need to go. Now," I ordered, very serious now.

"Afraid to get caught, Bells?" he asked me, not making any move to leave.

"We don't have time for this, Jacob! Go!" I ordered again, ignoring his question.

Jacob still didn't move. "Answer my question."

So, we're gonna play this way, then? Well, two can play this game.

"I swear on all that is holy, Jake...if you don't leave now, I'm never having sex with you again," I said sternly, crossing my arms across my chest.

Jacob quickly held his hands up in defeat. "Okay, okay. No need to go that far," he said with a small laugh. "I'll go," he said giving me one last quick kiss. "I'll see you later," he winked at me before disappearing in the way he apparently came in.

And, just in time, too because the locker room door flew open and in came the other girls from my gym class.

Now that was an extremely close one.

But, not close enough.

What a complete and total relief!

**~HM~**

During lunch, I sat alone avoiding all of my friends and the Cullen's. I didn't feel like talking to any of my friends because I was still slightly angered from earlier in the day. Which, brought me to the fact that I most definitely didn't want to have to deal with Alice and the other Cullen's, who I'm sure Alice told about my outburst from earlier. So, for all of lunch, I was perfectly content with just sitting alone replaying Jacob and I's sex session in the locker room during gym.

I was so busy replaying what happened between Jake and I that I didn't even realize that someone had sat down next to me until they spoke.

"Hello, Bella."

I jumped, not having expected anyone to sit down next to me. Especially  _her_. She was the last person that I ever expected to sit with me. "Umm...Rosalie...what are you doing over here?" I asked looking over at her. "With me?"

I was anxious as to what she wanted with me. Also, at the same time no words could describe how happy I was that Jacob had brought me my shampoo and body wash before coming to see me. Otherwise, I'd be so royally screwed right about now.

"I wanted to talk to you alone before the others get here and can overhear," Rosalie answered looking at me intently making me just a tad bit uncomfortable.

Oh god. Was she about to confront me about my outburst at Alice earlier? I really hope not. Only one way to find out for sure, though.

"Umm okay," I said swallowing the nervous lump in my throat. "What's up?"

"I saw you yesterday," she said skipping right to the chase.

What was she talking about? Oh, god! Why couldn't she just confront me about my outburst, instead?

"Saw me yesterday?" I asked, trying to fight the urge to jump out of my skin.

Rosalie nodded. "I was out for a stroll in the woods and I saw you and the m...Jacob."

My eyes widened and I felt myself growing faint.

This was so much worse than if she'd been here to confront me about earlier. Oh, god. Not good! Not good at all!

"Oh my god! Rose...it's...I can explain..." I started to say, completely freaked out now.

Rosalie held a hand up to stop me. "No need to explain, Bella."

Wait, what?

"But, Rose..." I began to protest.

Rosalie shook her head. "No, there's no time," she told me. "Just be quiet and hear me out."

I nodded and sighed, "Alright."

"I'm not happy about what you're doing to my brother," Rosalie said giving me a stern look of disapproval.

"I'm sorry," I apologized letting the guilt start to consume me.

She shook her head again. "Don't. No time."

"But..."

Rosalie ignored me and continued, her facial expression softening up a bit. "I'm not happy with it. But, at the same time if this is what you need to do in order to realize that you should stay human, then I'm not gonna try and stop you."

Umm...uhh...well, that's weird. I mean, I know she's pro-human and all...but, being okay with me cheating on Edward with Jacob? Umm...so, apparently she values human life a lot more than I originally thought.

"Why'd you tell me you knew then?" I asked, confused now.

"To make sure you're more careful from now on."

"Oh," was all I could say.

"Anything to keep you human," Rosalie said with a small smile, but just as fast as it came, it was gone.

This was so weird. It definitely wasn't going how I thought it would when she first brought up the topic.

But, then a thought began flashing in my mind and I went back into freak out mode. "Wait, what about Edward? If you know, then...he can read your mind!"

"I've been keeping my mind busy with other things. Don't worry, he won't get anything from me that I don't want him to. I've had many years of practice," she assured me, surprisingly me by placing her icy cold hand on my shoulder.

Weirdly enough, I actually calmed down a bit and sighed a sigh of relief.

Rosalie looked past me just then, and her hand was gone. "Alright, I've got to go."

I turned to where Rosalie was looking and saw that the other Cullen's were getting ready to enter the lunch room. "Okay. Umm...thanks. You know, for not killing me for what I'm doing to Edward."

What the hell was wrong with me? Why wasn't I feeling as guilt as a normal person in my position would?

"Anything to keep you human," Rosalie repeated from earlier as she stood up. "Oh, and, again, be more careful from now on," she said giving me a knowing look before walking over to Emmett.

Oh my god!

Rosalie knows! And, she's okay with it. Well, no, she said she wasn't. But, she's not gonna do anything about it because she wants me to stay human. Will I actually choose to stay human in the end? Or will I still want the vampire life? I honestly wasn't sure at this point.

But, Rosalie knowing and what she said definitely made me think about some things over again. A lot.

What the hell was I going to do now?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hehe! I wonder where Jacob was when I was in school?!
> 
> As you might be able to tell, I'm trying my best to incorporate some plot into every chapter...you know, so that this story doesn't just become some huge smut fest...not that it would be the end of the world or anything like that.


	11. Chapter 10 - Cupid got me right between my eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Possible cursing. Sorry, there are no lemons/limes this chapter. But, they'll defintely be back next chapter! Promise!
> 
> Oh, and one more warning...don't have any sharp objects near you while reading this...because you're more than likely going to have some hate towards Bella during this chapter. Just thought I'd warn you. After all, even I wanted to crawl through the screen and bang Bella's head against a wall or something. And, that's saying something. It's also saying something that for that this was the most difficult chapter to write yet. So, yeah...brace yourself.

After Rosalie came to me at lunch and told me she knew about Jacob and I, I was an anxiously nervous wreck. I was just waiting for Rosalie to let her mind cover slip and for Edward to find out everything that Rosalie saw and now knows. But, it never happened. Well, not when I was around, anyways. I always seemed to expect the worst in situations like this. And, right now was no different. I looked all calm on the outside, but on the inside I was freaking the freak out.

All I kept thinking about was how could I possibly sit next to Edward in Biology now and not cave and admit everything to him? I was so sure that I wouldn't be able to keep Jacob and I a secret any longer if I had to act around Edward so soon after finding out Rosalie knows our dirty little secret. There was just no way. There was only so much I could take before I broke. Sadly, only so much isn't really that much at all.

I had absolutely no idea how I'd face Edward now. But, what I did know was that I had to get out of here. And, fast. Aka right freaking now.

Quickly, I got up, but not fast enough to accidentally fall and cause a scene. I grabbed my back pack and made my way to the nurse. I faked bad cramps and a stomachache, which the latter actually ended up not being faked at all. I told the nurse that I was afraid I might get sick from the stomachache and mind numbing cramps working together and I didn't want to be at school when it happened. She agreed to let me leave school early and signed a slip that allowed me to leave early.

I sighed a sigh of relief as I left the school. When I got outside, I was put slightly at ease breathing in fresh air that helped me escape my feeling of being locked up in an invisible prison cell that only I knew about. It was a horrible suffocating feeling. I just wanted it to go away. But, I knew it wasn't going to be that easy. If I wanted it to go away, I'd have to make some changes. The first change being ending the BFWB relationship between Jacob and I. But, then I'd be the awful bad guy again. Unless...I somehow got him to end it.

'Cause I know for a fact that I couldn't end it. And, it wasn't just because of me ending up as the bad guy. No, it was more than that. How could I myself end it when I was starting to feel more for Jacob than I ever thought I would. Wait, better yet...why was I still going along with it instead of running for the hills and never returning. I mean, the moment I realized my feelings were more than they ever were before last night why didn't I just drop everything and end it then? Why did I have sex with him again earlier today? What the hell was wrong with me?

Yes, this really needed to end. I had to get him to end it somehow. Yes, good idea! That's what I was going to do. It would solve everything. If he ended it and not me, at least he'd have somewhat of a piece of mind like I would. I wouldn't be hurting him this time. It'd be his decision, not mine...well, his decision with a push in the back from my own decision. Oh, god. What a coward I am right now? But, if a coward is what I have to be to get my piece of mind back as well as the feeling of freedom back...I'd do it. No matter what the consequences.

Or so I thought.

**~HM~**

About half an hour later, I paced back and forth in the foyer in front of the door. My mind was made up. I was going to go through with it. I had to. I needed to. Otherwise, I'd end up going insane in the very near future. And, I couldn't do that. I didn't want to end up in an asylum...especially if it was my own fault. I could only imagine a fellow patient and I's conversation...

_"So, what are you in for?"_

_"I turned myself insane," I would answer and then to prove my point I'd follow up with, "I dated a vampire and secretly cheated on him with his mortal enemy who also just so happened to be my best friend who was a shape shifting wolf."_

Yeah, if that wouldn't be crazy enough to prove my point, then I don't know what would be.

My thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the front door.

I jumped, not having expected him to be here so soon. I knew Jacob was in the woods somewhere when I left the school. So, I was counting on him showing up at the house sooner or later wondering if I was okay. And, I was counting on doing whatever it took to make Jacob end things now to save us both even more trouble.

I took a deep breath and grabbed the door handle, twisting and opening it.

"Everything okay?" was his first question.

I nodded my head and gave a brief smile in his direction. "Yeah, I'm just not really feeling like myself all of a sudden," I said, not really lying because it was in fact the truth.

"Bella, what's going on?" Jacob asked me reading me like an open book.

Oh, god. Why did he always have to do this? You know what, just go for it, Bella. Rip it off like a bandaid.

"Why are you going along with this?" I asked laying it all on the line without a second thought. "For real, Jacob? Why?" I asked turning away from him and walking farther into the house.

Jacob followed me into the house and closed the door.

I turned around as soon as I heard the door close.

Jacob looked at me with a slightly confused expression and asked, "What brought all this on?"

"Rosalie knows!" I blurted out.

Now was the time for bluntness, not beating around the bush.

"The blonde one?"

I nodded. "Yes. She knows!" I exclaimed. "She saw us when we were at the treaty line the other day!"

Jacob didn't reply right away, but when he finally did, I felt like I could slap him if it wouldn't hurt. "Well, that's not good."

No dip Sherlock!

My eyes widened and my voice raised quite a few octaves. "You think?!" I asked sarcastically. "This is bad! This is very bad!" I exclaimed, half way to losing my ever loving mind, well what was left of it anyways.

"Is she going to tell the others?" he asked curiously.

I shook my head and answered, "She said she wasn't."

Jacob shrugged his shoulders then. "Then, what's the big problem?" he asked obviously not on the same page as me.

Oh, this was so not happening right now! Was it? Was he really so calm about this?

"Seriously, Jacob?! You're really asking me that?!" I asked in a panicky outrage.

"I really don't see a problem, Bella. She's not going to tell anyone."

"That's not the point, Jacob!"

"Well, then what is?"

"I'm practically using you!" I exclaimed before I could stop myself.

So, that's the real problem, then. It's not my guilt for cheating on Edward. It's mainly my guilt for using Jacob? But, wait...there's more to it than that.

"And, you're letting me!" I added suddenly, changing the blame away from myself to him. "What is going on in the head of yours to be okay with it?!"

"I love you and I know you love me, too!" Jacob hissed at me, his voice just as loud as my own.

I wouldn't be surprised if any of the neighbors that may be home right now overheard.

"If this situation is the closest I'm going to get to you, then that's what I'm going to do!" he admitted not holding anything back.

I started to protest, trying to push the guilt that I was feeling for once again hurting him to the side. "Jac..."

Jacob cuts me off. "No, you listen to me, Bella," he ordered moving so that he was towering over me and I was craning my head to look into his angry and pained eyes. "I have faith that you'll make the right choice this time. I know you will."

Before I could stop myself, I whispered, "Jake, I don't want you to get your hopes up."

There was a moment of silence between us.

"Too late," he suddenly broke it as he backed away from me.

Oh, god. Cue the guilt. I couldn't stop it from taking over any longer.

"But, Jake..." I tried to protest again, failing at pushing the guilt to the side.

"We still have two weeks to go. If you honestly haven't changed your mind by then...well I don't really know. I...let's just hope it doesn't come to that."

"Jake..."

"Just let it go, Bella," he said, his tone lower than usual now.

"Jake, please."

"I'll see you later, Bella," he replied turning towards the door.

"Jake!" I exclaimed grabbing his hand before he could turn the door handle.

Jacob shook my hand off and twisted the handle, pulling the door open. "I have to go. Pack things to do."

"But, Jake..." I tried.

Jacob didn't reply as he walked out of the house closing the door behind him.

I suddenly felt extremely guilty and remorseful about even bringing it up in the first place. So, apparently, even if he ended it in a few words, indirectly, it still hurt just as badly as it would have if I had ended it myself. What the hell had I just done? I wished I could take it all back now. How could I have actually thought for even a second that I could just give what Jacob and I had up? Apparently, I wasn't thinking at all.

And, now I had screwed everything up to the point where I wasn't even sure it could be repaired.

**~HM~**

An hour or so after Jacob left, I was still curled up in a ball on the floor crying like a baby who had just lost her mother in a crowded amusement park. I felt awful. I was scum. I was lower than scum right now. And, the worst part of it all that also proved the most that I was lower than scum...I was still dating Edward and had cheated on him up until now...and I was crying over the one I cheated on him with...not him. What kind of a girlfriend am I?

I was forced out of my ball when the phone rang for the hundredth time...over-exaggerating, but that's how it seemed. I got up after a few failed attempts and made my way to the phone. I picked it up and pushed the talk button answering with sad excuse for a greeting.

"Yeah?"

"Bella, love, I'm happy you answered. I was afraid I'd have to come check up on you," Edward's voice came on the other end of the line.

"Sorry," I said with no enthusiasm.

"Are you okay, love? You sound down," he noted.

"No, I'm fine. It's just...I just woke up," I lied.

"Are you feeling better?"

"What?"

"I heard that the nurse sent you home early because you weren't feeling well."

"Oh, yeah. I slept it off. I'm feeling better now."

"Oh, okay. Good," he sounded relieved. "Are you feeling better enough to come here tonight?"

No, not really. But, yeah, sure. Anything to get my mind off of, well...yeah. "Umm...yeah, sure," I answered once again still without enthusiasm. "I'm gonna go get some clothes together. I'll be there in an hour or so."

"Alright, love. I'll see you, then. Love you."

"Yeah," I replied and hung up.

**~HM~**

Just my luck, about 45 minutes later, I was stuck on the side of the road. On the way to Edward's my truck broke down. I had half a mind to call Edward to come pick me up. But, the other half couldn't stop thinking of how great the timing for my truck breaking down was. I could call and get Jacob to come get me. Hopefully, I could somehow set things straight while he took me back home?

It was a chance that I was willing to take.

I quickly grabbed my cell phone and dialed the Blacks' number.

When Billy answered, he was shocked to hear that I was the one calling. He was still under the impression that Jacob and I were on bad terms. I planned to keep it that way. So, I told him that my truck broke down on the side of the road, and that I know how good Jacob is at fixing vehicles so I was hoping he'd take a look at it for me. Extra cash and all, which easily sold it. When we were on good terms, Jacob never let me pay and I never argued. But, on "bad terms" I would insist I pay.

It seemed to work because Billy asked me where I was exactly and told me he'd send Jacob.

When I hung up, I still felt bad about earlier, but I felt slightly hopeful that I could once again fix things.

**~HM~**

Another 20 minutes later, I was sitting in the passenger seat of the Rabbit as Jacob drove me home. He had brought Quil and Embry with him to push my truck back to the garage while he took me home.

"Can we talk about earlier?" I asked deciding not to wait any longer and talk myself out of it more.

"No," Jacob answered simply.

"But, Jake..." I started to protest.

"Bella, no," he said more sternly this time.

I opened my mouth to try yet again, but closed it. I just knew that arguing further would get me no where with him right now.

Well, that didn't work how I hoped it would.

The rest of the way back to my house was completely silent and extremely awkward.

**~HM~**

When Jacob dropped me off, I saw him tense up out of the corner of my eye. I couldn't understand why. That is until I got out of the car and saw Edward's Volvo in the driveway and Edward sitting on the porch steps. No sooner than me closing the passenger door did Jacob drive off and Edward flash to stand in front of me.

"What are you doing here?" I asked him.

"You didn't answer your phone. I got worried when you didn't arrive when you said you would."

Of course he did.

"Well, I'm fine," I said nonchalantly. "My truck broke down and my phone died not long after. That's all," I explained, not that I really needed to.

"What are you keeping from me?" Edward asked with accusation in his voice.

I shrugged and made my way up the walk way and up the stairs to the front door. "Nothing."

"Are you sure?" he asked doubtfully.

"What's with the 20 questions?" I asked in return, rolling my eyes out of annoyance as I stuck the key in the lock and unlocked the front door.

"The mu...Jacob brought you home," he said sounding angry and jealous.

I nodded and walked into the house. "Yes, I called him."

"Why didn't you call me?" he asked following me into the house.

"Because I didn't," I told him, not feeling like I really had any reason to explain myself.

I mean, nothing happened.

"And, yet you called  _ **him,**_ " Edward seethed.

I turned to Edward now and glared at him. "Yeah, because he's my best friend. And, he might hate me because I chose you, but I need my best friend, okay. I'm trying to get back to where we use to be before you came waltzing back into my life."

"Bella," Edward unnecessarily sighed.

"No, you listen to me and you listen to me good! I will call and see him whenever I want to...if he'll let me. And, nothing you do or say will change that. Understand?" I hissed, putting my foot down.

"Come on, let's go," Edward said ignoring me.

I shook my head. "No, I've changed my mind. I'm staying home tonight. I'm tired and I don't feel like going anywhere anymore."

"Love..."

I shook my head again. "No, I will tell you exactly what I told Alice earlier today. I am sick and tired of being treated like some fragile doll. I am alive and perfectly fine right now!" I exclaimed, letting my anger and guilt and all else that I was feeling once again combine to give me the power to go off on any and everyone who deserved it.

"Bella..." Edward started seeming to try and reason with me.

Nope. Not gonna happen. I'm not in a reasoning mood.

"I want you to go home. Let me get some sleep," I told him making my way to the stairs.

"I can stay."

I stopped on the bottom step and turned my head to look at him. "You can, but I won't let you."

"But, Bella..."

"I need some space, Edward!" I finally admitted, realizing just then that that was one of my big problems as of late. "You're smothering me! And, and...I don't know how much more of it I can take!" I continued to speak the sudden and abrupt truth.

Edward looked slightly taken back. "I'm sorry I make you feel that way Bella, but..."

I shook my head and stomped my foot involuntarily on the bottom step. "No, buts, Edward!" I yelled at him. "Just go. I'll call you tomorrow if and when I've calmed down a bit."

"Bella, please, don't be like this," he pleaded.

Too late.

And, it took me everything in me not to allow my knees to buckle and cause me to fall on the stairs crying at the thought of those two words. The same two words Jacob told me earlier.

"Be like what? Being the person who finally calls you out on your overprotective crap?!" I hissed trying not to give into my before thought like my insides were screaming at me two.

I  **can't**  cry right now.

I  **won't**  cry right now.

"I'm not being over-protective. I'm just being protective like any other boyfriend," Edward said defensively.

And, end scene!

"No, no you're not! I don't know what dictionary you use, but it's obviously an outdated one. There is a fine line between protective and over-protected. And, quite frankly, if we're being completely honest...you're so far past the line that you can't even see it anymore!" I exclaimed moving off the bottom step and taking Edward by surprise when I grabbed his arm and dragged him to the door, pushing him outside. "Go home! I'll call you when I've cooled down."

Then, I proceeded to slam and lock the door in his face.

And, after that I rushed up to my room to lock my windows as well to make sure he wouldn't come in at all.

I really did need my space.

**~HM~**

The next morning, I woke up to the unmistakable sound of my truck. Did Jacob really fix it that fast? Hmm...he really must be better than even I knew. Quickly, I jumped out of bed and threw on a robe before practically falling down the stairs in my haste to make it to the front door.

I swung the front door just in time to see Jacob walking up the steps, my keys in hand.

Jacob handed me my truck keys, and simply said, "It's fixed."

I took the keys from him and smiled. "Thank you."

"Yeah," was all he said before he turned and retreated back down the stairs.

I felt part of my heart, the part that was slowly becoming his, break away and go with him.

I was slightly confused by his actions and words, but then I looked around and realized that he wasn't alone. Well, that explains it. Sort of. Plus, we still hadn't fixed things between us since yesterday's fight. I knew I couldn't try to fix things just yet because we weren't alone. So, in the mean time, I was still stuck with feeling bad about my actions and words from the day before for just a while longer.

I really hoped it wouldn't be for too much longer, though.

I wasn't sure how much longer I'd make it through with this guilt weighing down on my shoulders.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is it just me or does Bella in this story seem bipolar? It's like she's happy one second, mad the next...deciding on one thing one second, regretting it the next. It's quite frustrating really.
> 
> So, anyone catch on to the variation of a "Friends" line that I snuck into the chapter? I couldn't refrain from it because it fit into the chapter really well.


	12. Chapter 11 - You know you got it real bad...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Suggestive content and cursing in this chapter. Turn back now if you think/know it'll offend you in some way.

It had been a couple days, awful days, since I had last seen Jacob. I hadn't seen him since the morning after I had decided to stupidly and guiltily confront him about why he agreed to the BFWB deal. All because I was trying to get him to end things between us so that I, cowardly as I am, wouldn't have to. Of course, just like I figured we would we got into a sort of fight about it.

That was Tuesday and now it was Friday.

It was Friday night.

10:34 on a Friday night, to be exact.

And, for the life of me, I could not get to sleep.

It seems that I got what I thought I wanted because Jacob had been giving me the cold shoulder ever since.

He wouldn't return my calls. Yeah, I pushed the charade straight out the window and called the house, over and over again. Billy was under the impression that Jacob and I were still on edge over the whole me choosing Edward diabolical. If only he knew the truth. But, I let him continue to think that I was just starting back up with my constant calling and harassing as my need for Jacob to forgive me again. Which, is the truth...just not in the way that Billy was under the impression that it was for.

So, yeah, long story short, Jacob wouldn't return any of my calls.

He hadn't even come to me for any reason either. Not to talk. Not even for sex...which only reminded me and added to the proof that he really meant what he said when the deal was first started...the sex was just a bonus for him. It was getting me that was more important to him.

It was a relief to know, but it also hurt. It hurt so badly. It only reminded me of how much I had screwed up. I had wanted to make Jacob end it and in indirect words and actions he did. But, now and even as soon as he had walked out the other day, I realized that I was wrong. I was so very wrong in thinking and acting like I did.

Any sane and truly one hundred percent guilty feeling person would take it as a good thing and try their best to move on from the affair, I guess we could call it. But, I just couldn't. Don't get me wrong, I truly and honestly did feel extremely guilty about cheating on Edward, continuously and without guilt at those certain times, way more than I acted like. I would always feel like a bad person for this.

But, at the same time...I needed Jacob. I truly needed him. I didn't realize it until he started giving me the cold shoulder yet again. It was so much worse than when he first gave me the cold shoulder after I chose Edward. I guess it was worse now because I felt so much more for Jacob than I did at that time.

It was different between us this time.

Everything was different between us this time.

I just couldn't bare to have him give me the cold shoulder for too much longer. I was at my wits end. I was so close to falling over the edge of losing whatever sanity I had left. The need for him to forgive me and for us to be on good terms again was so, so strong. I could barely contain it.

It was literally driving me fucking insane!

**~HM~**

By time the lit up numbers on the clock read 11:00, I was completely fed up. I was sick and tired of yet again tossing and turning with no pay off of sleep. Three nights in a row was enough. I refused to let this be the forth. My mind was so full with Jacob and all things Jacob that I couldn't even close my eyes without seeing him.

This had to stop.

I had to do something to stop this.

And, I had just the idea.

Quickly and as quietly as possible, I hurried up and got dressed and then tip toed out of my room, grabbing my truck keys, a pen, a piece of paper, a piece of tape, and my pepper spray on the way out. I was going to La Push and I was going to fix this now. I couldn't take it anymore. I needed Jacob to forgive me. I needed to make this right. Well, as right as it can be given the circumstances.

Just to be on the safe side, I made my way past Charlie's room and I froze in place just once to make sure Charlie was still snoring. When I heard his snores, I sighed a sigh of relief and continued my way down the stairs, stepping around and over, very slowly, the stairs that I knew would creak under the weight of me.

It took me about a minute to safely reach the bottom of the stairs. A minute that was greatly appreciated given my history of clumsiness. Once I was safely on solid leveled ground again, I took the pen and paper I had and wrote a quick note just in case my loud truck woke up Charlie.

_Dad,_

_I couldn't sleep._

_So, I went to take a walk along the beach._

_I promise I'll be safe._

_Love,_

_Bella._

  
_P.S._ _Oh, and I've got my pepper spray._   


I knew the last part would make him feel a little better than me just promising to be safe. After all, he gave me the pepper spray partly to make himself feel better in the first place. So, hopefully, if he did wake up before I returned and saw the note he wouldn't be too freaked out when I got home later.

I taped the note to the back of the front door so he'd see it on his way down the stairs.

Then, I made my way out to my truck. I took a deep breath and waited a second before turning it on. Surprisingly, it wasn't as noisy as I had expected it to be. I sighed a sigh of relief as I backed out of the driveway and made the tired and anxious drive to La Push.

**~HM~**

The first thing I did once I was in La Push was pull over to the side of the road about a two and a half minute walk away from Jacob's house, if I walked fast. If he happened to be home, I didn't want him to hear my truck pull up. Better yet, I didn't want Billy to hear the truck and wonder what I was doing there. I wasn't exactly sure how I'd explain that one. I wasn't even sure if there'd be a good explanation to it, period.

I walked the two and a half minutes to the house and snuck around the side of the house to Jacob's bedroom window. It was opened slightly. When I peered inside, I didn't find him anywhere. Where the hell was he then? I thought of all the places he could be, since I knew it wasn't his turn to patrol, and it finally hit me.

The beach.

I quickly turned and ran back to my truck, which only took about a minute and fifteen seconds or so. Not that I was counting or anything. It was just a guess. I was a breathless mess as I climbed back into my truck and started it. I drove to First Beach and parked in the first parking spot I found.

I wasted no time making my way to the exact place, I knew where I could find him.

Our log.

Sure enough, there he was.

My heart literally skipped a beat or two out of joy.

That is until I noticed his stance. He was leaning over with his arms leaning on his knees and his head in his hands.

My heart stopped skipping beats.

Not surprisingly, Jacob must have heard it because he was suddenly looking up at me.

My breath caught in my throat as I took in the expression on his face. It still held the same sad expression that it had that day when he looked at me before he left.

Once again my heart skipped a beat, but not out of joy this time.

I felt my eyes suddenly start to well up with tears.

Oh, god. I had done this to him. Three, well sort of four, days later and he was still hurt.

"What are you doing here?" he asked turning his head away from me.

Even the tone of his voice screamed sadness.

"I couldn't sleep," I whispered having a hard time finding my voice. "You?" I asked trying to keep the conversation flowing.

Jacob shrugged his shoulders. "Couldn't sleep either," he answered simply.

And, strangely enough that was my undoing.

In a flash, I was kneeling in front of him begging him to forgive me.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," I apologized, letting the tears flow down my face freely, not even trying to stop them.

"So am I," he said sadly.

"Please forgive me. Please," I pleaded with him laying my head face first into his lap.

He didn't say anything back.

"Jake..." I said my voice muffled again his shorts.

His silence was freaking me out and I was tensing up.

"It's fine, Bella," Jacob assured me.

I relaxed a bit as I felt him run a hand through my hair in a soothing manner.

It didn't feel right, though. Why did it seem like he had forgiven me so quickly? Had he taken the past three days to help put him in a quickly forgiven mood? I don't rightly know. But, I can't let him just forgive me without an explanation from me first.

I lifted my head back up and made sure to look him in the eyes. "I didn't mean to..." I started to explain.

Jacob cut me off, "I know you didn't."

I wanted to cry even more right then and there. He knew me so well. I didn't even have to explain and he just knew. What had I ever done to deserve to deserve someone as amazing and great as Jacob in my life? Based on my decisions the past year, i'd say nothing.

But, by some grace of God, Jacob was here.

In my life.

Slowly taking over my heart.

Piece by piece.

Thread by thread.

Scar by scar.

"But, you..." I paused trying to get the words out. "You've been avoiding me."

Jacob sighed and looked at me. "No, I haven't," he said while shaking his head. "Well, yeah, okay," he corrected himself. "But not because of why you think."

Umm...okay, then. What other reason could he have been avoiding me for? As Buffy would say...picture me confused.

"Then why?" I asked with a frown.

Jacob didn't answer right away. Instead, he looked away for a moment and then back at me. With a sigh, he answered, "Sam was beginning to get suspicious."

My eyes immediately widened and my entire body froze. "Oh, god."

"Don't worry, it's all good now. After patrolling and acting like normal again the past few days, Sam's off my case now," Jacob assured me.

My body unfroze then and I sighed a sigh of relief, bringing one of my hands to lay over where my heart is. "Oh, okay. Good. Give me a heart attack why don't you!" I exclaimed slapping him playfully on the leg.

"Sorry," Jake chuckled.

"Oh, I'm sure you are," I said sarcastically.

"No, really, I am," he replied defensively.

"Prove it, then," I challenged looking at him and smirking.

"Alright, challenge accepted," Jacob smiled with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

I laughed. "And, how are you going to do that?" I wondered.

Jacob pretended to be in thought before smirking down at me. "Oh, I don't know..." he trailed off.

In an instant, I was squealing as I was picked up and placed in Jacob's lap.

The pain and sadness from only a few minutes before gone now. For which, I was grateful. It was always amazing how quickly Jake and I could go from being mad at each other to being our usual selves again. We were back to being Jake and Bells. And, it was great.

Jacob pulled me close and I curled into him with a smile on my face. "I love you."

I sighed and I nodded into his chest. "I know."

"You always have," he whispered into my hair.

I whispered back, knowing that Jacob could still hear me. "Maybe one day I can love you like you love me."

Jacob pulled away suddenly and looked at me in shock.

I raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"Do you really mean that?" he asked, hope extremely evident in his voice.

"Yes, I mean that," I answered honestly.

Jacob smiled and before I knew it he started attacking me with kisses all over my face.

Initially, I tried to ask seriously, but ended up giggling, instead, "What the hell?"

Jacob pulled back and grinned. "This is a much better place than where we were seconds ago."

My own grin that matched his appeared. "Agreed."

After that we sat there in silence for a few minutes just basking in the aftermath of my recent confession.

But, then the silence and boredom got to me. Of course, my head was instantly spinning with ideas on how to end the boredom. One idea stuck out the most, though.

"You know, we're all alone..." I trailed off breaking the silence, looking up at him with a mischievous grin.

Jacob looked down at me and raised an eyebrow, "Yeah, and?"

"Well, night or not...you've got good wolfy eyesight, right?

Jacob nodded his head yes. "What are you getting at?"

"Well...you never took me cliff diving like you promised," I said suggestively.

"Bella," Jacob said in a warning tone.

I didn't blame him, though. I mean, considering what happened the last time I went cliff diving...or suicide jumping seems more like it. But, this time would be different. Jacob would be with me. So, I'd be safe. We both know he'd never let anything bad happen to me.

"We should go now," I smiled brightly. "Together, of course."

Jacob was hesitant. "I don't know if that's a good idea, Bells."

"I'll hold your hand," I giggled teasingly.

Jacob rolled his eyes at me. "It's not me I'm worried about."

"Well, then you can hold me," I said trying to convince him. "I'm sure you'd just love that," I laughed. "Maybe, a little too much."

"Alright, let's go," Jacob grinned jumping up and taking me with him.

"Seriously?" I asked as I wrapped my arms around his neck.

"What?" he asked carrying me bridal style down the beach, heading for the path to take to the cliffs.

"That really worked?"

"That's what you were using it for, right?"

"Hmm...interesting," I said quietly to myself. "Note to self for future references."

"I heard that."

"Maybe you were meant to," I deadpanned.

**~HM~**

It didn't take too terribly long before Jacob and I made it to the cliff. Jacob refused to take me up to the highest cliff since it was so late at night. But, he did take me to the next one down. I mean, that's better than nothing, right? Plus, it's sure to be a great rush to go cliff diving at night. Cliff diving alone is a rush. But, at night...surely, it would add something to it, somehow.

"Alright, are you sure you're ready for this?" Jacob asked, checking yet again.

I rolled my eyes and shook my head. "It was my idea you big dummy," I laughed. "Of course, I'm sure I'm ready for this."

Jacob gave me a semi-shocked look. "Did you just call me a dummy?"

"Sure did," I grinned smiling innocently at him. "You got a problem with that?"

"I don't know. You tell me."

Before I could say another word, I felt his heated hand engulf my own and I was suddenly being pulled along with him as he ran and jumped sending us both airborne.

I was full of laughs and giggles the entire way down.

And, not once did I let go of Jacob's hand.

And, Jacob didn't once let go of my hand either.

**~HM~**

Cliff diving just for fun was amazing. Freezing, but amazing. Alone, it would've sucked. But, because I was with Jacob it was that much more fun. It helped that he was 108.9 degrees, too. The freezing water didn't bother me as bad, which allowed me to stay on my adrenaline even longer than I had that day when I almost...well, okay, I'm not going to go there.

"Th...that was s...so ama...amazing!" I exclaimed, stuttering, once we had made it back to shore.

"You're stuttering," he said, stating the obvious

I rolled my eyes and laughed teasingly, "D...duh."

"Here, come here," Jacob smiled pulling me on top of him.

Our new position suddenly gave me another idea.

"We sh..should have a re...do," I grinned down at him propping myself up on my elbows on either side of him.

"Redo?" he asked looking up at me with a clueless expression on his face.

I nodded and licked my lips trying to get him to understand without me actually having to say it. "You know...upstage our last beach experience...with a better one," I whispered seductively, wiggling my eyebrows suggestively at him.

"Bells," he groaned finally willing himself to catch on.

"And, you can warm me up that way, too," I said as I began grinding myself against him. "Kill two birds with one stone."

"You are insatiable," he laughed at me.

"I know I don't hear you complaining," I gave him a pointed look and took the opportunity to grind down on him again and render him speechless.

I smiled proudly at the power I held over him in this moment.

"No!" I suddenly exclaimed when I felt him try to flip us over. "I'm on top," I declared as I pushed all my weight down onto him to keep him from succeeding in doing so.

Even though, I was fully aware that if he really wanted to he could still flip me over. But, to my surprise he didn't.

Instead, he looked up at me at me with amusement on his face. "Who says?"

"Me," I answered simply.

"What gives you that power?"

"It was my idea," I reminded him.

He thought about it for a second or two before he asked, "So, that's how it is from now on then?"

"What do you mean?" I asked cluelessly.

"Whoever's idea it is gets to top."

It was my turn to think for a second or two. "Sounds good," I finally said. "Well, you know given the fact that we're diagonal at those points in time," I added.

Jacob raised an eyebrow.

"You know how we are," I deadpanned. "We very rarely have sex laying down."

"True."

"Exactly."

"It's a deal, then," he smiled offering me his hand.

I took his hand as I giggled and I shook it. "It's a deal," I agreed. "Now where were we? Oh, right."

And, then Jacob and I proceeded to take turns rocking each others worlds.

Four times in all.

Two times each.

**~HM~**

The next morning, I woke up feeling the most refreshed that I'd felt in days. Jacob and I were once again on good terms, and it helped me relax enough to easily fall asleep and stay asleep all night...or morning depending on how it was looked at. Well, that and Jacob satisfyingly tiring me out helped quite a bit as well.

Sitting up in bed, I stretched my arms over my head only to find that my body was greatly relaxed. And, it wasn't all because of my good night's sleep. Jacob had quite a bit to do with my bodies extremely relaxed state. It was an added bonus to everything that had happened late last night.

I got out of bed and went about my usual Saturday morning routine. I was just finishing up when I heard a knock on the door. There was a happy skip in my step as I made my way down stairs to answer the door. But, that skip didn't last long when I opened the door and found the last person that I would ever had expected standing there.

"What are you doing here, Leah?" I asked once I was over my shock of seeing her standing there in front of me, on my porch.

"I know," she said simply confusing me thoroughly.

Huh?

"What?" I asked dumbfounded.

"I said, I know," she repeated crossing her arms over her chest.

Okay. This wasn't getting us anywhere.

"You know what?" I asked only becoming more and more confused by her not coming straight out and telling me what she knew.

But, as soon as she actually told me what she meant...I suddenly wished I could return to being confused.

"About you and Jake."

My eyes widened just as my breath caught in my throat and my entire body froze.

Holy fuck! Oh, this is bad. This is really bad. No, no, no. Please, tell me this is just some fucked up dream. Oh god! Oh god! Play stupid. Play dumb, Bella.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," I said, when I got my voice back, shrugging my shoulders nonchalantly trying to act as innocent as possible.

I was losing it on the inside. I just wanted to curl into a ball and die or something.

"Oh, you don't?" she asked chuckling in amusement. "I saw you two on the beach."

I hadn't even been thinking about anyone seeing Jacob and I last night.

What the hell? Damn it!

First Rosalie.

Now Leah.

"Oh god!" I exclaimed.

Face palm.

"Oh my god!"

Face palm.

"Oh my ever loving god!"

Face palm.

And, now I'm totally, completely fucked.

Great, just great!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dun, dun, dun! *evil laugh* I know! What an evil cliff hanger! Hehe! bet you didn't see that one coming! So, now another person knows...except it's someone from the pack side this time. Hmm...will she be against it or will she help keep it a secret as well?


	13. Chapter 12 - ...doing things that you never did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Sexualish content and possible cursing in this chapter. Turn back now if you think/know it'll offend you in some way.
> 
> Once again, make sure there are no sharp objects anywhere near you while you are reading this chapter...hint, hint. *runs and hides somewhere that no one will ever think to look for me*

Why, oh, why is all of this happening to me?

What the hell did I ever do to deserve this? I mean, despite cheating  on my boyfriend? But, so many other people in the world do that all the time. Not just me. Yet, I'm sure they don't all have half the bad things happening to them that I do me. What makes me so "special" that I'm getting screwed over left and right? Every which way I turn there is something or someone acting as karma biting me in the ass.

For crying out loud, I just can't catch a break!

"You okay there Swan?" Leah asked me bringing me back to reality.

"Not really," I deadpanned in all honesty avoiding looking at her out of fear of what expression she'd be wearing on her face. "I need to sit down," I declared turning to make my way into the [l](http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9464003/13/Hot-Mess)iving room and throw myself face first onto the couch.

I don't know how long I stayed that way before I heard Leah walk into the living room and stand at the foot of the [c](http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9464003/13/Hot-Mess)ouch. I didn't even make the slightest bit of effort to look up at her. I stayed laying face first on the couch into a pillow muffling my constant screaming into it out of frustration. I was screaming so much that my throat was beginning to hurt. I wouldn't be surprised if ended up losing my voice in the next few minutes or so. If I continued screaming, I'm sure that that's exactly what would happen.

"Are you going to scream into that pillow until you lose your voice or are you going to listen to me and hear what I have to say?" Leah asked nudging my foot with her knee.

"Are you going to tell anyone?" I countered with my own question as I rolled over and sat up bringing my legs up to my chest and laying my head on my knees.

Leah ignored my question. "How long has this been going on?" she asked crossing her arms across her chest.

"I...umm...I..." I was stuttering. I wasn't so sure if I felt comfortable answering that.

Leah laughed and shook her head. "Oh, come on, Swan. I've seen you two getting down and dirty already. You can answer my question," Leah stated bluntly.

My face was as red as a beet in less than a second. I could feel the heat radiating off of my cheeks. Oh, god. Thinking of what she saw last night was one thing. But, her actually saying what she saw...oh, god. Just kill me now. Please, just kill me now. Spare me. Please, spare me.

"Swan, answer my question. How long?" she repeated her question.

"About two weeks or so," I whispered knowing that with her wolf hearing she'd hear me.

An awkward, anxious silence filled the room.

That is until Leah broke it.

"What started it?"

"I'm not sure I feel comfortable talking about this with you," I admitted.

"I don't care," she answered immediately. "I'm trying to decide whether I should keep this a secret or not."

My eyes widened and my head snapped up so that I was looking straight at Leah.

"Tell me everything so that I have a better understanding of this," Leah insisted. "Are you using Jacob again?"

"What? No!" I exclaimed without hesitation, which surprised me.

Only some days away, I had gone off on Jacob for letting me use him. But, now I was answering like I wasn't. What the hell? Did my inner self know something that I still hadn't realized yet? Was it taking over me?

"Tell me everything," Leah said again.

I sighed realizing that I had no choice but to explain because Leah wasn't going to let it go and she surely wouldn't leave until she knew what she wanted to. "Fine," I said quietly.

Leah didn't say a word. Instead, she just sat down next to me on the couch.

"It started about two weeks ago. I went to see Jacob to try and mend our friendship. We got into an argument and somehow it turned from a heated argument to us fooling around. Afterwards, realizing what I'd done I went home fully intent on leaving it as a one time mistake. But, it didn't take me long to realize that it wasn't going to be easy to do. The next day, I went to see him again and we ended up fooling around again. Then, after that Jacob said something about being sure that he could make me admit by the end of the month that I was in love with him, which turned into us agreeing to be a sort of BFWB relationship..."

"BFWB?"

I nodded. "Best friends with benefits."

Leah chuckled. "That's a first."

I glared at her.

She smirked. "Continue."

I sighed and did just that. "So, against my better judgment I agreed and ever since then we've been meeting up to hook up."

Leah was silent for a moment before she asked, "So, how's the deal coming along?"

"What do you mean?" I asked, confused.

"I mean, how are your feelings coming along?"

"Oh," I said looking down at my shaking hands.

I heard Leah stand up and looked up at her with confusion on my face.

"I already know that answer by your reaction to the question," she told me before turning and heading to the front door.

"Leah!" I called after her.

Leah laughed softly. "Don't worry, Swan," she said with a grin on her face. "Your secret is safe with me," she assured me. "It'll be the three of ours dirty little secret."

I opened my mouth to say something back, but before I could Leah was already gone with the door slamming closed behind her.

Oh god. I really need to talk to Jacob about this.

ASAP!

**~HM~**

It wasn't long before I was able to talk to Jacob about Leah knowing about us. He showed up at my house while I was in the middle of cooking myself some breakfast in order to distract myself from the fact that Leah knew. Her knowing had me on edge and I needed to do any and everything I could not to be. I couldn't let it do to me what Rosalie knowing did. I couldn't let myself lose it and cause problems between Jacob and I again. I just couldn't. It would literally tear me apart if I did.

"Bella," I heard him call from the front door, I hadn't even heard it open.

"In the kitchen," I called back while scrambling the eggs in the frying pan.

"Something smells good," he said walking into the kitchen.

I smiled briefly as he walked up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist.

"Hey," I said.

"Hey," he replied, mimicking my own tone.

"If you want some, get the eggs back out of the fridge and I'll make more," I laughed slightly knowing exactly what he was going for by standing over me while I was cooking.

He kissed the top of my head and laughed before unwrapping his arms from around me. "You know me way too well."

"I sure do," I deadpanned.

"Everything okay, Bells?" he asked walking back over and handing me the eggs. "You seem like there's something on your mind."

Why did he always have to know me so well?

I sighed not wanting to talk about it just yet.

"We'll talk after breakfast," I told him before going about cracking more eggs into the pan.

**~HM~**

After eating breakfast in silence and cleaning up in silence, the silence finally made Jacob crack.

I was washing dishes at the sink when he came over and grabbed the dish I had in my hands, currently washing, and put it back into the soapy water. He helped me wipe off my hands with the dish towel and then lead me into the living room. He sat down on the couch and pulled me into his lap, which I didn't argue with. It felt nice sitting on his lap.

"Alright, now tell me what's bothering you," he said a few minutes or so later.

I sighed and started playing nervously with my hands, which were in my own lap. "Has Leah talked to you at all today?" I asked leaning back so that I could look at him while we had this conversation.

He shook his head and frowned. "No, why would she?"

"She came by my house earlier today," I said looking back down at my hands.

I could feel Jacob tense slightly underneath me.

"She did?!" he asked in a tone that proved that he would've never suspected it.

I nodded.

"What for?"

"She knows, Jake," I whispered.

"She knows?" he asked being slow on the uptake.

I looked up at him with a look that spoke volumes, or more like a "umm...hello" look.

"Oh," he said as realization suddenly dawned on him. "She knows."

"Apparently, we weren't alone on the beach," I said quietly.

There was a short silence that filled the space between us as we thought of what to say or ask next.

"What'd she say?" Jacob finally asked breaking the silence. "Is she planning on telling anyone?"

"That's where it gets weird," I answered, frowning in confusion.

"How?"

"She said it'd be the three of ours dirty little secret," I spoke remembering her last words to me before leaving.

"Really?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "I told you, it's weird."

"Yeah, it is," he agreed.

"I mean, why would she, the one who makes me think that at times she despises me for even being born, of all people help us keep this undercover?" I asked wishing that I had answers to the heart hitting question that was on my mind the most.

Jacob shrugged, mimicking me from moments before. "Beats me."

More silence filled the air.

"Or better yet..." Jacob started but then stopped before finishing his sentence.

I raised an eyebrow and asked curiously, "What?"

"Why don't you just tell the lee...Edward the truth?" he asked. "That way we wouldn't have to keep this a secret, period."

Suddenly, as if someone had poured ice cold water on me and brought me back to reality, I jumped up from Jacob's lap. My eyes were wide and I felt like I couldn't breathe. I was pacing back and forth in front of the couch where Jacob still sat, looking at me in confusion. It was obvious that he was taken back by my sudden outburst. But, I couldn't help it. As soon as those words had left his mouth, my outburst was inevitable.

Why did he have to bring this up now? I was perfectly fine where we were. But, now I'm thinking of Edward. When moments prior to, I wasn't. Now the guilt was once again starting to set in and I couldn't bring myself to deal with it. There went my plans to no longer have any fights with Jacob. I knew without a doubt that that's where we were headed now. But, I had no way of stalling or stopping it.

A fight was going to happen whether I wanted it to or not.

"For so many reasons!" I exclaimed when I finally got my voice back.

"Like what?" Jacob asked jumping up from the couch himself and walking over so that he was now in front of me. "What reasons could be so important that we have to keep going on like this?" he asked putting each of his hands on either of my arms to keep me from turning away like I so badly wanted to right now.

"Oh, I don't know!" I exclaimed sarcastically adding an eye roll along with it. "How about what I'd say to him for one?!" I hissed losing it all of a sudden. "I mean, I can't just go up to him and be all, "So, Edward...I've been meaning to tell you something for a while now. You should know that I've been cheating on you with your mortal enemy for the past few weeks, but you know no worries. It's just a sex thing."

Jacob frowned as soon as the last sentence left my mouth, and I suddenly wished I could take it back.

Oh, damn. I mean, I knew that a fight was bound to happen, but it didn't have to end like that. What the hell was wrong with me? Not even two hours ago, I was jumping at answering Leah's question with a "No, I'm not just using Jacob!" And, now suddenly, I'm making Jacob think it really is just a "I'm using you for sex thing," when in reality it really isn't. I just have a bad tendency of blurting out anything that first comes to mind when I'm mad.

"Jake..." I started as an effort to explain myself.

Jacob let go of my arms and turned away from me. "Forget it," he said and I could hear the pain in his voice. "I forgot this is just a sex thing for you."

"Jake, that's not what I..." I tried to explain.

Jacob cut me off in an instant and finished for me. "Meant?" he asked filling in what I was about to say. "Whatever, it's fine, Bella," he said shaking his head. "I'll just go," he whispered before heading for the door.

I couldn't let him leave like that. Especially not when he only heard the mistaken bad part.

"Wait!" I called after him. "You didn't get to hear the other reasons."

Jacob stopped and turned back to glare at me. "Why would it matter?"

I decided then to just go for it and take a chance. "What I said before really isn't how I meant it," I said pausing to take a deep breath before letting it all out and laying it on the line. "I can't lose you. Not now. Not when I'm falling for you more and more every time I see you."

Before I could even get a grasp on what was happening, my back was against the wall behind me and Jacob was kissing me. This kiss felt so much different than the ones I was use to with him. This one felt more...more...I don't know how to describe it. It wasn't about just pure passion or anything like the others were. This kiss was as if he was pouring everything into it. It was needy and heartwarming all at once.

Just as quickly as it happened, it stopped.

Jacob pulled away and leaned his forehead against mine. "If that's true, then why don't you end it with  _ **him**?"_

Oh, god. The heartbreak wasn't over.

I turned my head and whispered, "Because," but I just couldn't get the words out.

Jacob cupped my chin in his hand and turned me to look at him. "Because why?" he asked and I could see the pleading look in his eyes.

I sighed and just confessed it all, after all Jacob has been nothing but honest with me the whole entire time we've known each other. I couldn't fight the urge to be brutally honest with Jacob. He deserved nothing but the truth. And, no matter how much it killed me inside...I would give him nothing but the truth.

"Because I'm still confused and I just realized my feelings for you were more the other night," I told him sincerely.

Jacob pulled back and turned away from me again. "Yet you still tried to send me away yesterday," he said running a hand over his face. "So you wouldn't have to," he whispered that part.

"No, I didn't," I argued defensively even though I knew that there was no use in doing so.

"I know you, Bella. You were trying to get me to call it off yesterday."

I adverted my gaze.

Damn it! How did he always know? Was I really that much of an open book around him?

"And, you adverting your gaze is proof," he sighed sadly.

"I...it's just..." I just couldn't get a full sentence out.

"Now tell me why exactly you're not going to choose now that you know you're feeling something more for me?"

"Because I still love him, too," I whispered.

Jacob was silent for a moment before speaking again. "I know you do. But..."

"Don't make me choose, Jake!" I exclaimed suddenly. Before I could stop myself I followed it up with, "If you make me choose, I'm going to choose him."

I looked down at the floor then, but not without passing the sight of Jacob's fists tightening at his side.

"I'm not going to make you choose," he said making me feel extremely guilty about jumping to conclusions and blurting out what I did. "We still have a week or so left before the end of the month. Then...you will have to choose, but not just yet," he told me. "But, apparently, it doesn't seem like it's necessary anymore."

I could feel the tears begin to fill my eyes. The sad tone of his voice was absolutely heartbreaking. What the hell was wrong with me?! I obviously had some sort of "open mouth, insert foot" syndrome. Is there even such a thing? If not, then there needs to be. Maybe I'll go to a therapist or something and get them to make it into a real syndrome. Surely, I'm not the only one with it. Right?

"Jake, no, please..." I tried to get him to hear me out.

Jacob shook his head and turned towards the door. "I'm gonna go now," he opened the door and stepped outside on the porch. With turning back to look at me, he said, "I'll see you later." And, then he added, which only broke me more. "Maybe."

Then, the door was slammed closed and he was gone.

Once he left, I was once again reduced to tears and a ball on the floor. I had fucked it up yet again. What the hell was wrong with me for crying out loud?! Maybe I just didn't deserve anyone at this point. I should just buy an apartment where no one would ever expect, rescue half a dozen cats from the closest ASPCA and become a bitter old lady who's only nice to her cats.

Honestly, that does sound really good right about now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, there you have it. Someone else knows now. Except, unlike Rosalie, Leah isn't exactly giving her reason for keeping it a secret. Definitely weird, right?!
> 
> Yeah, I know, I'm pretty sure that last part that she said pissed off a lot of you...but, unfortunately, Bella's still a little back and forth in her head...hopefully, she'll get everything cleared out in the next week or so. We'll see what happens.
> 
> Oh, and not that I'm trying to defend Bella or anything...well, kinda...but I just wanted to explain that the reason Bella said that she'd still choose you know who (eye roll) is because she's afraid to face how she's really feeling about Jacob. Bella's in the denial stage that surely everyone goes through when they're in a relationship or just got out of one and are suddenly feeling things for someone new or something that they didn't expect so soon.
> 
> I hope that makes sense.


	14. Chapter 13 - Yeah, I know this is killing me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A couple quick things;
> 
> 1.) After all the back and forth from Bella for pretty much the entire story, I'm sure that not only I, but everyone reading the story needs a reprieve, so I've made it so that after this chapter Bella will no longer be back and forth.
> 
> 2.) For everyone who misses the written out lemons...I have a feeling that you're going to love this chapter! ;) Think back to Bella's daydreams...because one of them is coming to life this chapter! Hehe! ;)
> 
> Warning: Sexual content and cursing in this chapter. Turn back now if you think/know it'll offend you in some way.

On the floor crying in a ball was where I stayed for literally hours. I was still in my same position when Charlie came [home](http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9464003/14/Hot-Mess) from work. I just didn't have the drive in me to get up and pretend like everything was okay. That I was okay because I wasn't. Not by a long shot. So, I just stayed there crying like a baby thinking about how much I was continuously screwing everything up over and over again.

Why did I have to love two guys at once?

And, why did I have to keep pushing the one who loved me more than life itself away all the time? Especially when I really did love him. Stupid guilt and part of me that still loves Edward...yeah, that's it. The more out there part of me had no problem admitting how she felt about Jacob. But, then the introverted part of me was full of guilt over cheating on Edward and she wanted no parts of how I felt for Jacob and apparently she was the one who had the most power just now because she made me run Jacob away yet again. Quite frankly, I wouldn't be surprised if this was it and he wanted nothing more to do with me at all.

I'm not sure how long it was before I heard the front door open. I couldn't really even bring myself to care. I was perfectly content with crying until I couldn't cry anymore. 'Cause really what else was there for me to do? Bottle it up inside? Yeah, so that it'd be even worse later on down the road when something worse happened. Yeah, I'll pass.

"Bella," Charlie called out when he walked into the house.

My form was blocked by the couch from the front door so he didn't see me right away.

When he didn't get an answer, I heard him shut the door and then his footsteps got farther away.

"Bella," he tried again.

I just couldn't answer. Even if I tried.

"Bella, where are you?" he asked searching the house for me.

I mustered up as much of a voice as I could and managed out a mumbled, "Daddy."

"Bella," his voice was full of concern now and suddenly I heard his footsteps get louder as he followed the sound of my sad and pained voice. "Bella!" he exclaimed when he finally saw me as he ran over and kneeled down next to me.

"He hates me!" I cried out not being able to say anything else.

Charlie helped me off of the floor and led me over to the couch. "Who hates you?" he asked sitting down next to me.

I ignored him as I curled back up into a ball on the couch and continued to mumble whatever came to mind. "It's all my fault!"

"Bella, what's going on?" Charlie asked wanting to help me, but not knowing how to. "I can't help if you don't tell me what's going on."

"I should've just kept my mouth shut," I cried. "I ruined everything!"

"Bella, please. Tell me so I can help you," Charlie pleaded with me.

"I can't," I whispered. "I wish I could, but I can't."

"Bella..."

"Please, don't make me. I can't. Oh, god. I can't," I gasped as I began to hyperventilate.

"Okay, okay. I won't make you tell me anything you don't want to," Charlie assured me.

But, that didn't help me stop hyperventilating.

I continued gasping for air pushing myself out of my ball and forcing myself to sit up to help with my breathing.

"Calm down, Bella," Charlie said placing a hand on my shoulder and rubbing soothing circles.

I knew that this wasn't easy on him, but I was grateful that he was here for me, anyways. It took a lot for him to step out of his comfort zone to be there for me. It was the closest I felt to him in a very long time. And, it was nice. It was also me thinking of that fact that surprisingly helped me calm down in the end.

A few minutes past and I finally calmed down. I was breathing right again and my tears were for the most part gone. The pain of what I had done earlier was still very clear and up at the surface. But, I managed to keep it down enough that I didn't cry anymore or hyperventilate again.

"You okay?" Charlie asked breaking the silence between us.

I nodded my head and looked at him, offering a small smile. "Sorry," I apologized. "I know that it's not easy to see me like that and not know what caused it. Maybe one day I'll be able to explain it to you," I told him. "Just not now."

Charlie smiled back at me and nodded in understanding. "I get it, Bella," he assured me. "I'm here for you whenever."

"Thank you," I smiled wiping my wet cheeks and wiping my hands on my clothes.

"Of course."

"Alright, well, I should go make dinner," I said looking at the clock and realizing that it was that time already.

Charlie started to protest, "Bella, you don't..."

I cut him off, leaning forward and grabbing the remote. "No, it's fine," I told him brushing off his protest. I turned on the tv and switched to the game that was on. "Just watch the game. I'll get you a beer," I said placing the remote back down and running into the kitchen to get Charlie a beer.

**~HM~**

After dinner I was washing the dishes trying to distract myself further from earlier this morning. I was washing a plate looking down at it when I had the sudden urge to look up. I don't know why or where the urge came from, but I gave into the urge and looked up out the window.

It wasn't fully dark out yet. I could still see very well. The sun was just starting to set. I looked around out the window and didn't see anything. Not right away, anyways. But, then I looked again and this time I did see something.

The plate I was holding slipped from my hand, when my grip on it loosened, back into the dishwater and my eyes widened.

"Jake," I whispered instantly frozen in place.

He was standing by the wood line in just his cutoffs. The expression on his face was still the same as when he left earlier. I had to see him. I had to fix this. Again. Except this time, I'd make sure to fix it for good. I had to. Both of our sanities depended on it right about now.

The dishes were suddenly the last thing on my mind. I dried my hands off with the dish towel and then threw it to the side.

"Dad, I'm gonna go outside for a while!" I called to him knowing that he was too into the game to pay too much attention to me.

I was proven right when I heard his simple reply, "Yeah, alright."

I shook my head and laughed lightly before running outside to Jacob.

**~HM~**

"Is it just you right now?" I asked when I was halfway to him.

"Yeah."

That one word answer was all I needed to hear.

I instantly broke out into a sprint the rest of the way and launched myself into Jacob's arms.

He caught me easily.

I wrapped my legs around his waist and buried my face into his neck. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." I was reduced to a sobbing mess, but I could have cared less right about then.

"I know," Jacob whispered.

I was suddenly having flashbacks from the night before. We were pretty much, more or less, in the same situation. I was apologizing for my stupid words and Jacob was forgiving me because he knew me so well and he knew that I truly was sorry.

"Say you forgive me, please," I pleaded pulling back to look him in the eyes. I needed to hear it. "Please, say it. Say you forgive me," I pleaded some more. "I need to hear you say it."

He looked at me, but didn't say anything yet.

The tears began to fall yet again.

Jacob reached up with one hand and wiped the tears off of my face. "I forgive you," he whispered. "On one condition."

"Anything," I said without hesitation.

"For the rest of the week or so we have left you can't push me away anymore," he said giving me a serious pointed look.

I looked down at the ground. I really wished I could say that I wouldn't, I really did. But, if the fact that this was the second time we were in a situation like this in less than twelve hours was any confirmation, then I was definitely not sure I could refrain from pushing him away again.

"Bella," he spoke cupping my chin and lifting my head up to make me look at him. "It's only fair."

"I know."

"Instead of either pushing me away somehow and or trying to start a fight with me...just come talk to me like a normal person," Jacob said, a hint of pleading in his tone. "Can you do that for me?"

I stayed silent.

"Please."

And, that did it.

I may not believe in myself not pushing him away again. But, I sure would try not to.

I whispered a silent, "Okay."

"Thank you," he smiled.

"You're welcome," I smiled back burying my face back into the crook of his neck.

And, that's how we stayed for quite a while; him holding me and me with my face buried comfortably in to his neck where I could easily breathe in and bask in his natural breathtaking scent.

**~HM~**

After a while of just being wrapped up in Jacob, I suddenly felt the overwhelming, out of the blue, urge to be even closer to him. As well as to somehow make things more like normal between us again. I thought long and hard before an idea finally dawned on me. I knew exactly how I could kill two birds with one stone. I could both get closer to him and bring our friendship or relationship...whatever it is now back to it's playful nature.

"Hey, Jake," I said pulling away from him, biting my lower lip in a seductive manner.

"Yeah?" he asked, his eyes dropping to where I was biting my lip.

I smirked at how quickly my seductive power, which I never knew that I actually had, practically hypnotized Jacob.

"What do you say we..." I paused trying to think of how to word what I wanted to say. "I don't know..." I paused again. "Umm...play out one of my fun daydreams?" I finished, unwrapping myself from him and lowering myself to the ground so that I was standing on my own two feet again.

Jacob raised an eyebrow and looked at me mischievously. "And, what would that be?"

I smirked and dodged to the side running past him into the woods. All the while I was screaming playfully in my best horror movie victim tone, "Oh, no! The big bad wolf is gonna get me!"

I could hear Jacob laughing before in the blink of an eye it got completely silent. I stopped running and turned in a complete as I looked around. It was still light enough that I could see well enough. But, I couldn't see Jacob anywhere. Well, I did ask for it, not in many words. But, still.

A minute or two passed before suddenly I felt warm air blow down the back of my neck. I froze all together. There was no way he circled around that quickly. Well, alright, maybe there is. He is a shape shifting wolf and all. Or maybe he had been behind me somewhere the whole time and I just didn't realize it.

Slowly, oh so slowly, I turned around and my eyes practically bugged out of my head. Yeah, he was there alright. All of him without anything covering him in order to leave anything to the imagination. My panties were growing wet now as I trailed my eyes up and down his naked, well proportioned, panties-wetting, underwear-ruining body.

And, of course, as proof, my panties really were getting wet.

Jacob being completely naked suddenly gave me an idea that would tease him immensely, but would end up being fun for us both.

"I'm adding to our game," I said practically drooling as I eyed him up and down appreciatively.

Jacob looked at me with a questioning look on his face.

"Stripping," I blurted out. "Every time you catch me, you get to remove a piece of clothing from me."

This was going to be so much fun.

"Sounds like fun," Jacob grinned speaking for us both.

I nodded. "Yes, it does," I laughed before turning and running off.

Let the games begin!

"Oh, you little..." Jacob laughed along with me before taking off after me.

It didn't surprise me when he caught me less than a minute later.

My laughing was cut of when Jacob captured my mouth with his own. I was putty in his arms. His kisses always seemed to have an effect on me like that. Our tongues danced together, fighting for control. I was so caught up in the kiss that I didn't even realize I was missing my shirt until I was gasping at the feel of Jacob palming my breasts through my bra.

I pulled away, gasping for air, and looked down to where my torn up shirt now laid on the forest floor. "Hey! I actually liked that shirt!" I scolded.

Jacob shrugged and smirked at me before proceeding to tear a long, lustful moan from me when he switched out his right hand for his mouth on my breast. "Too bad."

"Fuck!" I moaned a little louder than I had meant to.

Jacob laughed against me.

As much as I hated doing it, I took him off guard as I pushed him off of me and ran away from him again. There would be time for exploring and having his way with me after the game was over and I had no clothes left on.

"Damn, you're good!" he called after me.

"You know it!" I yelled back to him letting my cocky side come out to play. "Come catch me again!"

And, that he did.

Quickly and easily.

Apparently, he was just as anxious as I was to get right to the main course. But, we both knew that our little game would count as our foreplay for this time. The extreme wetness between my legs and the hard on between Jacob's was proof enough of what we both already knew ahead of time.

"We can always skip the rest and get straight to it," Jacob suggested against my neck after shredding my shorts, leaving me in just my bra and panties.

He was in the middle of doing wonders to my neck, making me cry out and moan his name over and over again. It was amazing how Jacob could make me feel this way without even actually touching me where I so badly wanted and needed to be touched. Apparently, Jacob was just a natural at this.

"As much..."

Suck.

"As I would..."

Lick.

"Love to..."

Kiss.

"Want this..."

Nip.

"To last..."

All of the above.

"Longer."

Reluctantly, I pushed him away from me once again and ran off.

"Just two more pieces of clothing," I said out loud.

"Not for long," Jacob replied chasing me once again.

I had half a mind to stop and let him catch me even easier than he already would. But, what would be the fun in that? Plus, the longer we drew out the foreplay, the better the result would be.

The next time he caught me, my bra was next to go.

We skipped the contact and I took off running again right away.

We were cheating at my own game.

And, the new rule was...cheating was allowed.

It was less than a minute before he caught me for the last time and wasted no time tearing my soaking wet panties off of me.

Now onto the main course!

"Oh, god!" I exclaimed, out of breath. "Please...please..."

"Please what?" Jacob asked.

"Please tell me...that you...have a...condom...with you," I pleaded.

If he said no, I would truly go insane right now.

"I do," Jacob laughed disappearing for a moment, most likely to retrieve the condom from wherever he left his shorts.

Sure enough, he returned moments later with a foil packet in hand.

"Oh, thank god!" I breathed a sigh of relief. "Now put it on. And, get in me already!" I ordered.

Jacob laughed. "Yes, ma'am."

Then, he proceeded to tear the packet open and do just that.

In an instant, he was on me. The other part of my daydream came true the instant my back hit a tree. I briefly wondered if he knew that the tree was a part of my daydream, but didn't get the chance when he wasted no time thrusting into me.

"Holy fuck!" I exclaimed not having expected him to give me no warning.

"You asked for it," Jacob laughed before smashing his lips against mine as he drove in and out of me at a hard and fast pace...just the way he knew I liked.

"Yes..."

Moan.

"Yes, I did."

Another moan.

"Damn!" I exclaimed reaching down to grab Jacob's ass pulling him further into me.

He growled and that did it.

I was a goner without him even touching my clit.

That damn growl was full of super orgasmic powers or something.

Jacob didn't once let up throughout my orgasm. He continued pounding into me helping prolong my orgasm. Even once I fell of my high, I was instantly driven back into an uphill climb to my second one. My god, was he good at this or what? This would never get old no matter how many times we did it.

I was sure to have bumps and bruises all over my back and the back tops of my legs later, from being pushed repeated against and up and down the tree behind me. But, I could have honestly cared less. I would just have to wear shirts with sleeves and a back for a while. Oh, and something to cover the the tops of my legs. So, no tank tops or shorts for this girl for a while. But, it was so worth it.

"Are you close, Jake?" I asked gasping and moaning as his pace in and out of me never slowed down or sped up from what it was now.

"Yeah," he groaned.

"I...I want..."

I was fighting for my voice right now.

"Want us to...to..."

Oh, god! This felt so good!

"Come together," I finally got out what I was going for.

Jacob nodded leaning into to press his lips against mine against, softly this time.

"Okay," he whispered against my lips.

A few more thrusts and a brush of his fingers against my clit and I got my wish.

We were coming together.

And, it felt amazing!

**~HM~**

After Jacob and I parted ways once our woods hook up was through, I had to sneak back into the house. I thanked the heavens that Charlie was still completely focused on the game because my clothes were all shredded and I was literally as naked as the day I was born.

It would've been so humiliating and awful if Charlie had caught me buck naked running through the house. I rushed up to my room, closing and locking the door behind me. I most definitely needed to think things through before hooking up with Jacob again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, so Jacob and Bella made up...again. And, this time Jacob made Bella promise not to push him away anymore and to just talk to him.


	15. Chapter 14 - I'm leaving every piece...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lot of readers have been wondering why Bella doesn't just break up with Edward. Well, other than Bella being in the midst of her denial stage, there is another reason for her not telling Edward the truth and just ending it. That reason will be explained in this chapter. So definitely be on the look out for it.
> 
> Warning: No lemons/limes this chapter. Mentions of sex related things, yes. Actual lemons/limes, no. Oh, yeah, and possible cursing.

Two days later, and it was Monday again. Grr. Monday's are the worst. Even for me. I never was one of those teenagers who hated [school](http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9464003/15/Hot-Mess). I actually enjoyed it. However, Monday mornings...yeah, I was just like all other teenagers. I hated them with a [passion](http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9464003/15/Hot-Mess). I just wanted to sleep in after a weekend of sleeping in, but, of course, sadly wasn't able to.

The only thing that ended up keeping me from going straight back to sleep was Charlie calling from the bottom of the stairs, "Bella, you're gonna be late for school!"

I groaned, saying nothing, and rolled over, but kept my eyes tightly closed, in hopes that once he left I could go back to sleep.

"I have to go to work early. And, I'll be home late tonight," he called moments later.

"Alright," I said dismissively. "Bye!" I called back letting him know that I was awake.

I waited until I heard the front door open and close before rolling back over and shoving my face into my pillow. I must have fallen back to sleep because however long later, I was being shaken awake by two very warm hands that I didn't have to wonder who they belonged to. I twisted and turned for a while trying to wiggle away from him. But, I soon gave up when I realized it just wasn't happening.

"Nooooo!" I moaned. "Let me sleep."

"Bells, you're already going to be late for school as it is if you don't get a move on...right now."

I rolled over and frowned up at him, still keeping my eyes closed.

Then, I stuck my tongue out.

He laughed and the next thing I knew the covers were off of me and I was being lifted, bridal style, out of the bed .

My eyes flew open and I opened my mouth to protest, but was quickly silenced when he kissed me. I allowed myself to give in and kiss him back, despite still not being fully awake. With Jacob's help, I was maneuvered around so that I could wrap my arms and legs around him, pulling him even closer to me.

A minute or two went by before we pulled away both gasping for air.

Needless to say, that kiss left me wide awake.

"I wouldn't mind being woken up like that more often," I admitted smiling at him.

"I'm sure we can arrange something," Jacob smiled back at me.

I grinned. "I would love that."

"Me, too," he agreed.

"So, what are you doing here?" I asked as he lowered me to the floor.

He smirked and pulled something out of the pocket of his cutoffs.

"Put these in your pocket," he said holding something out in his hand.

I looked down, confused. As soon as I saw what he was holding my eyes widened. Holy crow! "What the hell, Jake?" I asked looking back up at him quickly.

Jacob shrugged his shoulders as if he had not a single care in the world and laughed. "Just in case."

"Are you planning on another school visit?" I asked him while against my better judgement taking the condoms from him and putting them in the back pocket of the jeans that I had picked out to wear to school today ,the night before.

"You never know," Jacob said simply.

I rolled my eyes.

"You should go jump in the shower real quick," he said taking me off guard.

"Why?" I asked, raising an eyebrow in confusion.

"You smell like me now," he answered, smiling sadly.

"What are y..." I started to ask.

Jacob frowned suddenly as he cut me off. "Your boyfriend," he hissed. "Isn't far down the road. I don't want him to smell me on you."

My eyes widened. "What?! I told him to give me some space!" I exclaimed.

Although, if I think about it...today was Monday. I told him I needed space...last Monday. Oh, wow! I had been so preoccupied that I hadn't even realized how long it'd been since I last had anything to do with Edward. It had been almost a full week. Almost a full 168 hours.

But, that wasn't what surprised me the most. What surprised me the most was that my over-protective, vampire boyfriend actually gave me an entire week? What the hell? Had I actually gotten through to him for once? No, it couldn't be. I wasn't that lucky. Was I?

"Well, your space is up," Jacob said breaking me away from my thoughts.

I had half a mind to launch myself at Jacob and kiss him again, making me smell like him even more. Screw Edward and his vampire senses. But, that would be wrong because the reasoning isn't for the best. So, yeah, never mind that idea.

"I should get in the shower before it's too late," I sighed.

Jacob nodded his head in agreement.

While wiggling his eyebrows suggestively, he smiled, "I'll see you later, Bells."

I nodded my head and smiled back. "Definitely."

Then Jacob left through my open window and I ran to the bathroom to reluctantly take a shower. I really didn't want to get rid of Jacob's scent on me. I wanted to wear it proudly for the whole entire day. But, I knew that I couldn't. It wouldn't end very well if I did. So, I would have to grin and bare the shower that I for once didn't want to take.

**~HM~**

I had scrubbed and scrubbed Jacob's scent off of me for at least an entire minute in the shower. And, I would not be ashamed to admit that I did shed a few tears while doing it. I hated having to wash his scent off of me when I loved it so much. It was natural and all Jacob. My Jacob.

After the first awful shower I'd ever taken in my entire life, I went back to my bedroom and got dressed. Then, I went downstairs to eat a quick bowl of cereal while I waited for Edward to pull up. I couldn't help but wonder how exactly Jacob knew Edward was coming. But, I didn't get to wonder for too long because I heard a knock at the door.

I picked up my now empty bowl of cereal and placed it in the sink before grabbing my book bag and going to the door. I opened it and frowned slightly, but then found myself smiling slightly. Apparently, Edward's crooked grin that I did love so much was a contagious one today.

"I thought I told you I needed time," I said just for the sake of saying something.

Edward sighed unnecessarily. "I gave you an entire week, love," he told me.

I glared at him, crossing my arms over my chest. "Who says that was long enough?" I asked, grouchily.

I was still a little on edge about having to scrub Jacob's scent off of me...all because of him.

"Bella..."

"Are you going to quit with the over-protectiveness and let me make my own decisions?" I asked him looking straight up into his eyes, narrowing mine.

"Not that you've been making good ones lately," I heard a voice in my head say. I mentally slapped the voice and smiled to myself when after about 30 seconds I still hadn't heard it again.

Edward nodded, "Yes, love, I will do my best. I promise."

"Thank you," I said feeling a small amount of my grouchiness dissipate.

"So, am I forgiven?" he asked me.

I thought for a moment before sighing. "Yeah."

Edward smiled and leaned forward, kissing me on my forehead. "Good."

I couldn't stop the shiver that ran up and down my spine. Edward's icy cold lips on my skin were an extreme contrast to Jacob's warm ones. And, suddenly, that's all I could think of. Jacob's warm lips all over me...in places no one else's have ever been...places that before him I would've never dreamed of letting anyone touch me there. But, with Jacob there were a lot of things I never thought I'd ever do that I'd already done and would do with him.

Edward suddenly broke me away from my thoughts, "Come on, love. Let's get to school."

I allowed him to lead me to the car and hold the door open for me as I sat down in the passenger's seat.

All the while, now thinking of him and only him.

And, the guilt that I was so sure would be there because I was thinking of him in the presence of my boyfriend, who up until very recently, I was so sure I was in love with...the guilt surprisngly and shockingly just wasn't there.

Honestly, it sort of scared me.

But, at the same time it only left me confused and in need of answers to questions that I wasn't so sure about at the moment.

**~HM~**

The school day went by like any other school day, boring and uneventful. That is until the end of the day as Edward was driving me home. Ever since Biology he had been on the edge about something, but I couldn't figure out what. I had seen him pick something up off the ground, just not what. Then, after that he seemed angry about something the rest of the day. It made me really curious.

And, then he brought it up and I about jumped out of the moving car to escape.

Apparently, Edward couldn't wait to confront me any longer, so he pulled to the side of the road and did just that. He pulled something out of his jeans pocket and held it up. He looked at me with a look of hurt and betrayal as well as anger in his eyes as he held the shiny foiled packet in his hand, glancing from me to it and then back to me.

"Why did this fall out of your back pocket during Biology?" Edward asked with accusation in his voice.

Oh shit! Think fast, Bella.

"Jessica asked me to hold it for her. She put them in my pocket and by time I realized what they were she was already gone. I didn't see her again all day, so I couldn't give them back. Then, I forgot to take them out," I shrugged nonchalantly and tried to act as innocent and not freaked out as possible, breathing in and out to keep my heart rate down as much as possible.

I had never been happier that Edward had the ability to read minds. Maybe he had read something in Jessica's mind once that would help aid my "made up on the spot" story. Oh, please God. Let it be! Let it be! Fingers crossed!

"Are you cheating on me, Bella?" Edward suddenly accused taking me off guard.

Damn! Well, thanks for nothing! How to get past this one...even though, I am. Hmm...defensive time. Make him feel guilty for even asking you such a thing. Alright, I've totally got this.

"What?!" I asked acting completely outraged by his accusation. "No! I already told you where they came from!" I exclaimed. "How could you assume such a thing?!" I asked frowning.

The truth is, I had been thinking it over quite a bit lately. I wanted to tell Edward the truth. I really did. But, I was afraid to. I was afraid because I knew how he'd react. He never really was a fan of Jacob and he always acted as if I was a fragile doll who couldn't make my own decisions.

So, therefore, the reason I was afraid to admit the truth to Edward was because I couldn't shake the feeling that he'd somehow find a way to blame it all on Jacob. And, I just couldn't handle that. I wasn't sure what I'd do if that happened, which most likely it would because Edward had me so high up on a pedestal all the time.

I was human and therefore nothing I ever did was wrong. It was always someone else's fault. Never fine. And, it annoyed me to no end. No matter how many times I tried to argue that I was fully aware of everything I did and was going to do, he never listened. It always ended back where it began...with me being human and everyone else around me peer pressuring me into doing bad.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to accuse you. I'm just worried about y..." Edward started to apologize.

I cut him off, crossing my arms. "Take me home, Edward," I demanded.

"Bella..."

I cut him off again scowling as I turned back to look out at the road. "I just want to go home," I growled. "Right now, Edward!"

**~HM~**

Later that night, Charlie still wasn't home. I remembered him saying that he would be home late, so I didn't worry about it too much. I spent the whole rest of the afternoon, after Edward dropped me off leaving without a word, obviously remembering his promise to me earlier, and beginning part of the evening baking cookies to try and get my mind off of the condom incident. I had gone to the store and bought all kinds of cookies to bake. When I checked out, the cashier gave me a weird look and I just glared back, grabbed my two grocery bags of cookies and went home to bake like there was no tomorrow.

I was on edge and I had the urge to just end everything once again. But, I made a promise to Jacob that I intended to keep. So no matter how much my entire being was screaming to take the flight route, I was going to force myself to take the fight option. I was going to fight this out to the finish. I deserved to. Jacob deserved me to. I needed to stop choosing flight, and I needed to go with fight. And, that's exactly what I was going to do.

I was in the midst of pulling the next batch of cookies out of the oven when Jacob showed up. I heard a knock on the door and then heard it open. I knew it was Jacob because he always knocked and then announced his presence before actually stepping foot in the house.

"Bells!" he called out.

"In the kitchen!" I returned while placing the fresh cookies onto the counter.

"Ooo...cookies!" Jacob was like a big little kid on Christmas morning when he walked into the kitchen and saw that literally every free counter and table space was over taken by plates full of cookies.

"Yep!"

Jacob's eyes widened. "Whoa! What's with all the cookies?!"

I shrugged. "I just felt like baking cookies today," I answered. "Take your pick," I smiled waving my arm around like I was a Price Is Right girl.

Jacob was practically drooling as he looked around at all the cookies.

"So, there's Chocolate Chip, Peanut Butter, Reese's Peanut Butter and Chocolate Chunk, Oatmeal, Snicker-doodle, Sugar, and White Chip Macadamia Nut cookies," I said pointing to each respectively. "There's a lot so have at them."

And, I didn't have to tell him twice.

"Whuff's wong, Bwells?" he asked, moments later lounging in one of the chairs at the table, his mouth full of cookies.

Normally, I would laugh, but my heart just wasn't in it right now.

"Nothing," I said as nonchalantly as I could, not wanting to deal with telling him what had happened earlier just yet.

Jacob rolled his eyes and shook his head. "You can't lie to me, Bella," he said once he had swallowed the cookies.

"What are you talking ab..."

He cut me off. "You always over bake and cook when something's wrong," he told me.

Damn! Of course, he'd picked up on that.

"Remember what you said the other day?" he asked looking up at me.

I nodded my head knowing exactly what he was referring to.

"You promised to not push me away," he reminded me anyways. "You promised to tell me when something was wrong."

I looked down at the floor. "I know, I did," I whispered.

"Then, please, tell me what's bothering you," he said reaching out and grabbing my hand, pulling me to him.

I sighed as I let him drag me down onto his lap. I rested my head on his chest and just went for it.

Once again, I was using the band-aid approach.

"One of the condoms you gave me fell out of my pocket during Biology and Edward saw it," I blurted out.

It only took a second for Jacob to reply.

But, not with words.

Instead, he burst out laughing.

I leaned backwards and glared at him.

"Are you serious?!" I hissed at him, punching him in the chest as hard as I could without breaking my hand, even though I knew it wouldn't help anything.

"This isn't funny. Stop laughing!" I scolded pushing myself off of his lap and standing up. "It's awful! It's embarrassing!" I exclaimed as I began pacing the kitchen floor. "It was a close fucking call!"

I couldn't even be bothered with censoring my language right about now.

"I...I'm sor...sorry. B...Bells," Jacob said between laughing and crying.

"I'm so glad this is amusing to you," I hissed at him. "If only you knew how I was thinking about breaking this off again for good this time, you wouldn't be laughing," I muttered under my breath, momentarily forgetting that he could hear me easily.

His laughing ceased immediately.

Well, that worked like a charm.

I looked up to see him frowning and my happiness that he stopped laughing ended up being short lived.

Great! Now he was mad at me again! I just can't freaking win.

"Bella..."

"I didn't, though!" I exclaimed throwing my hands up in the air in an "I give up" manner. "I thought about it briefly, but then remembered my promise to you from the other day and I pushed the thought aside!" I was practically in tears at this point.

"Bells..." he tried again, standing up and walking over to me.

I calmed down just slightly at hearing him call me Bells. He never called me that when he was mad or hurt by me. So, that was a good thing that he just called me that. But, it didn't calm me down completely.

"Calm down, Bells," he said pulling me into him.

"This...this is...getting to be...to be...too much," I cried out against him. "I'm going crazy here!"

"You're not going crazy, Bella. I can only imagine how difficult this is for you," he sighed and I suddenly got the feeling that there was something else he wanted to say.

I leaned back and looked up at him through my blurry eyes. "What is it, Jake?"

"Sometimes, I wish I hadn't brought up this whole thing," he admitted looking anywhere but at me.

My eyes widened and my heart fell. "Wha...what do you mean?" I asked afraid of the answer, but already knowing it.

"You know what," he said quietly.

And, now the tables were turned. I was the one trying to get him not to end things.

"No! No! No!" I exclaimed pushing away from him and grabbing his hand, pulling him to the living room.

I led him around the couch and pushed him down onto it.

Then, I sat down, straddling his lap.

"Look at me, Jake!" I ordered him, cupping his chin with my hand and forcing him to look at me. "I know that I've been back and forth throughout this whole thing...and I am so, so sorry for it!" I apologized sincerely. "But,  _Do. Not._  I repeat  _Do. Not._ _Ever. Regret. Us. Starting. This."_ I made sure to emphasize each and every word with a kiss. "Because despite my back and forth...not once have I ever regretted any of this," I confessed. "I may have and still do feel guilty at times," I paused, trying to hold back my tears. "But, I have never regretted or wished this had happened differently."

When I finished saying what I had to say, I was surprised to see a single tear rolling down Jacob's face.

The fact that he had no problem crying in front of me just made me love him that much more.

Yes, I thought it.

There was no more denying it.

Even if I tried to.

I smiled and leaned forward kissing him sweetly.

"Can we stay like this for a while?" I asked leaning my head onto his shoulder, placing my face in the crook of his neck.

"Sure, sure," he replied, kissing the top of my head.

And, we did just that.

We stayed in that same exact position until Jacob heard Charlie pull up.

With one last kiss and smile each, Jake ran out the back just as Charlie entered the house.

I watched out the window as Jacob disappeared into the woods.

"Bella?" I heard Charlie ask.

"Yeah?"

"What the hell happened in this kitchen?!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hehe! The condom incident. Can anyone say oh shit and awkward! I just couldn't help myself with putting the condom incident into the story. I mean, it's just Bella's luck that that would happen to her, right?! lol.
> 
> Also, did any of you catch onto the other reason why Bella's not just breaking up with Edward? I mean, don't get me wrong...I'm not trying to condone what Bella's doing, but surely it makes things easier to understand...especially since we all know Edward really is like that when it comes to her. And, we know how deep down Bella hates feeling like she can do no wrong when she and everyone else knows that she can.
> 
> And, lastly...she kept her promise! I'm sure you're all happy about that! But, Jacob was the one having second thought this time...hmm.
> 
> Oh, and also...Bella's ending realization...who caught on to it?!
> 
> Does it make sense?


	16. Chapter 15 - ...of my conscience behind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this chapter is going to be a little shorter than the others. I just wanted to write a fun little chapter to give us all a much needed reprieve from the drama and angst that has been in the last few chapters or so. Plus, I really want to show more of Jacob and Bella's actual friendship as opposed to just them hooking up randomly.
> 
> Warning: No sexual content, but there may be possible cursing in this chapter. So, turn back now if you think/know it'll offend you in some way.

Surprisingly, Edward was the one who avoided me all day the next day at [s](http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9464003/16/Hot-Mess)chool. Well, for the first couple of class periods, anyways. Then, he just left. Which, not long after I realized was because the sun suddenly came up out of , it made me wonder why he'd even come in the first place if he was just going to leave. But, for the sun, I was grateful. After what happened the day before, I just wasn't ready to talk to Edward yet.

It was definitely a shock that Edward had ignored me for the time he was actually here. After all, he was never the one to avoid me for any reason. It was always me avoiding him for whatever reason. It was just really weird. The way Edward was acting and all. He was almost distant like I was from him. But, I knew it wasn't for the same reason that I was avoiding him. It made me think that maybe he had something on his mind that he didn't want to tell me just yet.

But, I didn't wonder about everything for too long about it. I found myself actually enjoying the freedom of not having him around me or watching me all day. I even sat with my friends at lunch and got reacquainted with them. They were surprised, but also happy that I was sitting with and talking to them again. It was around then that I realized and allowed myself to really see just how much I had given up just to be with Edward. It was quite sickening, to be honest.

How could I have let myself fall away from myself like that?

How could I have given my best part up for one single guy?

Was I out of my mind?

Was I blind or something?

Those questions ended up sending me into comparison, pro and con, thoughts about and between Edward and Jacob.

Edward was overprotective of me and tried to make every decision for me.  _Con._

Jacob was protective, but not overprotective and he let me make my own decisions.  _Pro._

Edward always had his siblings babysit me when he wasn't around to make sure I didn't do anything dangerous and fun.  _Con._

Jacob was always by my side when I was doing dangerous and fun things.  _Pro._

Edward loved me.  _Pro._

Jacob loved me.  _Pro._

Edward was willing to kill himself because he thought I was dead.  _Pro._ No, no...scratch that. At first glance, back then, it was sort of romantic, sort of like Romeo and Juliet, but now that I was actually thinking clearly...it was definitely bad.  _Con._

Jacob refused to give up on keeping me alive at all costs.  _Pro._

According to my pro and con list, I came to the conclusion that things weren't looking up for Edward. Don't get me wrong, I still loved him and probably always would. But, sooner or later I'd have to grow up completely and realize that maybe just maybe, it wasn't as meant to be with us as my naive teenage self was so sure of.

But, things were definitely looking up for Jacob. With my revelation yesterday that I did in fact love Jacob and couldn't tell myself otherwise anymore...sooner or later, I'd have to wake up, smell the coffee, and realize that maybe just maybe that even in the world of monsters and magic...we were meant to be, after all.

Otherwise, why would I have first agreed and still be going through with this BFWB month long relationship with Jacob? I mean, we've gotten caught so many times and almost ended many times, too. But, each and every time something pushes me to fix things with him. And, more and more, something inside me keeps telling me to hold on and never let go. Never give him up. 'Cause if I do, then I just might regret it for the rest of my life.

**~HM~**

After school, I drove home going over my pro and con list time and time again in my mind. The whole way home, I added to it and tweaked it a bit. By time I pulled into the driveway and shut off my truck, the results were still the same. Jacob had more pros than cons. Edward had more cons than pros.

It seems that not only has my body already claimed Jacob, but now my mind had claimed him, too. Now all that was left was my heart. It already confessed to loving Jacob. But, the question now was...does it love him enough to get on board with my body and mind?

Getting out of my truck, and giving it a once over, I decided to take advantage of the very rare sunny day in Forks and wash my truck. I wanted to give my mind a break for a while before I overloaded it and went crazy. I needed some time off from my personal life. And, washing my truck would be a good way to make that happen.

I went inside and changed into one of the very few bathing suites that I owned and pulled on a white tank top and pair of jean shorts over it. Then, I went down to the kitchen and got together a couple of dish rags and sponges as well as a bucket to use for the soap and water.

Just as I was walking out of the kitchen, the phone rang. I thought about just leaving it, for a moment, but then gave in. I put down the bucket and turned back around to answer the phone. I picked up the phone off of it's charger and pushed the talk button, bringing it up to my ear.

"Hello," I spoke into the phone.

"Hey, Bells."

A smile broke out onto my face as soon as I heard his voice. "Hey," I said cheerfully.

"What are you up to?"

"Umm...I'm about to go out and wash my truck," I answered. "You know, take advantage of the rare sunny day and all."

"Would you like some help with that?"

I grinned so wide that it started to hurt. "Sure, that'd be great."

"Great. I'll be over soon."

"Okay."

"Bye, Bells."

"Bye, Jake."

The grin stayed on my face as I hung up and grabbed the bucket, practically skipping outside.

**~HM~**

About half an hour later, I was hosing down the truck when Jacob pulled up. I couldn't stop the giggle that came out when Jacob got out of the Rabbit. I would never be able to get over how much bigger than that car he was. I never could keep myself from wondering how he even fit in the car. He managed, though. But, I never could figure out how.

"Are you laughing at me?" he asked, faking a frown, as he closed the door and made his way over to me.

I nodded and laughed some more. "I can't help it," I said defensively. "You should see yourself in that car."

Jacob rolled his eyes and leaned forward.

I knew exactly what he was going to do.

But, as much as I wanted it to happen, too...it was too risky. I did have neighbors, after all. Neighbors who had seen me with Edward a lot. Neighbors who would definitely start talking if any of them saw me kissing someone who wasn't my boyfriend in broad daylight.

So, I had to think fast. And, my way of thinking fast was deciding to be evil. Which, I definitely did when I picked up the hose and sprayed Jacob in the face with it.

The look on his face as he backed up was absolutely priceless.

Bella realizes how dirty her truck is and decides to wash her truck. Before she can go outside she gets a call from Jacob. She ends up inviting him over to help her, which leads to some dirty and wet fun.

"Are you serious, Bells?" he asked in disbelief.

I shrugged. "I have neighbors, Jake," I reminded him laughing as the water dripped down and off of his face onto the ground below.

"You could have just told me that," he glared playfully at me.

I nodded in agreement. "Yes, I could have. But, you were already leaning forward. So, I had to think fast just in case someone already saw," I explained.

"Oh, I'm sure," he said doubtfully, looking from me to the hose in my hand.

By time I figured out what he was about to do, it was too late.

Before I could even react, Jacob grabbed the hose from me and turned it on me.

I was soaked from head to toe in no time.

"Ahhh!" I screamed running around the other side of the truck. "Jake!" I scolded. "That was not nice!"

"You sprayed me first," he laughed, still holding the hose in an attack position.

I rolled my eyes and hid behind the closed window of the drivers side. "I sprayed your face! Not your whole body!"

"So?"

"So?! I'm wearing a white tank top!" I exclaimed.

Jacob rolled his eyes and laughed. "It's not like it's anything I haven't seen before," he pointed out. "Besides, I can see that you're wearing a bathing suite. So, relax."

I glared at him and crossed my arms.

"Aw, did I hurt your feelings?" he asked mockingly in a baby voice.

"Ass!" I pouted at him.

"Your point being?"

"Oh, that is so it!" I glared at him, dropping my arms, all the while planning my own plan of attack.

Well, there went getting my truck cleaned right out the window.

After a minute, I finally came up with a plan. Well, okay, an idea that wasn't much of a plan. I was just going to take the idea and run with it. Hopefully, it worked out for me in the end.

Quickly, and apparently taking Jacob off guard, I wasted no time running around the truck and jumping on his back trying to wrestle the hose out of his hands.

During the unplanned wrestling match, the hose went off many times and we somehow ended up on the ground soaked and dirty and laughing our asses off...almost literally, if possible.

But, it was all cut short when we heard someone clear their throats.

Both of us looked up to see our dads there looking at us with unreadable expressions on their faces.

This couldn't be good.

Could it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And, there you have it! Short, I know. But, I warned you it would be. And, even though, it was short quite a few things were brought to light, so the chapter did have a reason behind it. I'm evil again, aren't I?! But, at least they weren't caught like they were with Rosalie and Leah. Haha.


	17. Chapter 16 - With you, I never knew...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, so here's the deal...I really tried my best to balance the plot and smut well enough in this chapter. But, I'm not sure if it worked out like that. I hope I managed to do so properly. I'll let you all be the judge of that. Fingers crossed!
> 
> Warning: Sexual content and cursing in this chapter. Turn back now if you think/know it'll offend you in some way.

My stomach was doing nervous somersaults as Jacob stood up and held his hand out to help me up. I waited a minute before I gathered myself enough to take his hand and let him pull me up like I weighed nothing at all. I didn't even have to push off the ground or anything. The lazy part of me was happy about that.

"Dad, what are you doing here?" Jacob asked breaking the silence first.

Billy looked from me to Jacob with a curious expression on his face. "I could ask you the same thing," he replied once his full attention was on Jacob.

Jacob shrugged and answered nonchalantly, "I just came by to help Bella wash her truck."

"So, you two are on good terms again, I take it?" Charlie questioned, trying to hide the happiness in his voice and keep a straight face, but it was easy to see past it.

Jacob and I looked at each other, having one of the silent conversation that only Jacob and I could have with one another. Then, we both turned our attentions back towards Charlie and Billy and nodded our heads answering in unison, "Yes, we are."

"But, we'd like to keep it on the down low," Jacob wasted no time saying, making me breathe a breath of fresh, calm air.

I nodded in agreement. "Yeah, just to be on the safe side, we don't want everyone knowing about us being okay again. Not yet, anyways," I paused before adding a hopeful, "Please."

Billy and Charlie glanced at one another with curious and doubtful expressions, but nodded anyway. "Okay."

A few seconds later, Charlie excused himself, turned, and went into the house to get a beer and start the game that he and Billy were suppose to be watching together, which explained why Billy was here.

Billy didn't hesitate as he turned his attention to me after Charlie closed the door behind him.

"Are you still with Cullen?" Billy asked me trying his best to hide the disapproval in his tone, but failing just slightly.

I cringed at the mention of Edward, but quickly recovered and nodded my head, avoiding looking him straight in the eyes.

Even though, I wasn't aware on the surface that Billy didn't know the whole story, the part where Jacob and I weren't just ordinary best friends again, I couldn't help but think that maybe he did know deep down what the truth was. And, because of that, the guilt of what was going on was slowly eating at the core of me.

It's not like I was proud of what was going on with Jacob and I while I was still with Edward. It's just how it worked out. For some strange reason I just couldn't let myself lose either one of them. Not yet, anyways. Call me selfish, but that's just how it is for me. I really didn't want to lose either of them. Ever.

But, I knew that it wouldn't be long before I really did have to choose.

And, I would lose one of them.

Oh, god.

I sighed a breath of relief when Billy's voice broke me from my soon to be panic attack causing thoughts.

"Can I speak to you for a moment, son?" Billy asked looking from Jacob to me and then back to Jacob.

"Sure, sure," Jacob answered with a nod of his head.

Billy then turned his head to me. "Can you give us a minute, please?" he asked me.

I nodded. "Oh, of course. I'll just go change into dry clothes," I said turning to look at Jacob.

"It won't take long," Jacob smiled at me, leaning down and pressing his lips to my forehead in a friendly gesture that not even Billy would question.

I couldn't help, but smile back. "Okay."

Then, he turned to Billy and I went into the house, closing the door, but leaving it cracked just enough for me to hear on purpose. I never was one to be nosy before, but I couldn't help myself. I really wanted to know what was being said between them. It was an urge that I couldn't fight. And, if I tried...well, I don't know what would happen. But, what I do know is that the result would not be a good one. After all, fighting with yourself never ends well, right?

I leaned backwards against the wall next to the door and leaned over a little so that my ear was just barely against the open crack. That way I could hear what was being said. But, at the same time I wouldn't have to worry about letting my presence be known by falling and accidentally closing the door all the way.

I listened closely and heard Billy speak first.

"Are you sure this is a good idea, Jacob?" Billy asked with a tone of voice full of concern.

"Yes," Jacob answered simply.

"You're not at all concerned about her still choosing Cullen when it's all said and done and the time comes?"

"No, I'm not. I know that things will be different this time," Jacob said with extreme confidence. "I have faith in her," he added, obviously not keeping anything back from his dad.

Oh, god. Why did he have to say that? Why was he always so confident in me? I didn't deserve it. I was a complete and total mess. I mean, seriously, how was I not? I was stringing two guys along all because I was being selfish enough not to want to lose either of them. What person who honestly deserved someone's faith did that?

'Cause it sure as hell wasn't me.

Feeling hatred towards myself, at the moment, I didn't even bother to listen to anymore of what was being said between them. I pushed myself off of the wall and silently made my way upstairs to my room where I threw myself onto my bed and proceeded to cry like a baby.

I was such an awful person.

How could anyone love me?

I was complete and total scum.

I didn't deserve Edward.

And, I sure as hell didn't deserve Jacob.

I just didn't deserve happiness, period, at this point.

**~HM~**

Not long later, I was still a crying heap of a mess in my bed. I was disgusted with myself. And, I wasn't sure how long the feeling would stay. Although, I did have a guess. It'd probably stay until I finally and truly realized just what I wanted. I wouldn't have any other reason to be disgusted with myself once I had chosen, once and for all, who I really wanted to be with for the rest of my life...or maybe eternity. I still wasn't sure.

I was brought back to reality when I heard my bedroom door open followed by the sound of it being closed and then followed by the sound of footsteps coming across the floor closer to my bed.

"Bells?"

As much as I wanted to look up at him, I couldn't. So, I kept my face planted firmly into the pillow. I just didn't want him to see me crying right now. I was afraid that maybe he'd get the wrong message or something. Or better yet, maybe I'd end up saying something stupid in my state of distress and once again ruin things between us. If not looking up at him would prevent either of those things from happening, then I guess I wasn't going to be looking at him.

I felt the bed dip beside me as Jacob sat down and brushed a strand of my loose hair behind my ear.

A sob tore from me due to that sweet gesture, and I just hoped that he hadn't heard it.

"Bells, are you crying?" he asked and I frowned into the pillow.

Of course, with his super hearing he would hear that.

I shook my head no even though we both knew damn well that it was a lie.

Jacob sighed. "Bella, you promised not to push me away anymore," he reminded me, which was enough to make me lift my head and turn to look at him.

I wasn't trying to push him away. Really, I wasn't. And, I didn't want him to think that I was.

"I...I'm not...try...trying to...to push...you...a...away," I managed to get out between sobs.

"What's wrong, then?" he asked, concern written all over his face.

And, that's what truly broke me.

I practically threw myself into him, straddling his lap, and burying my wet, tear covered face into the crook of his neck. "I'm such an awful person!" I cried out.

Jacob suddenly grabbed my shoulders and pushed me back so that I was face to face with him. Then, he moved his hands up to cup my face and keep me from looking away, like I was about to do. He apparently knew that I was going to do that and made sure to prevent me from doing so.

"You _**are not**_ an awful person, Bella," he argued against my previous statement.

"Yes, yes I am," I argued back. "If I wasn't an awful person, then I wouldn't be using my boyfriend and best friend for my own personal selfish gain!"

After that I went on and on for god knows how long venting and letting all of my frustration out. Jacob just sat there comforting me throughout it all, not saying a word. Part of me was offended by him not saying anything to argue against what I was saying. But, another bigger part of me was happy and thankful that he was letting me vent everything to him. All the more reason to love him, the bigger part of me was thinking.

And, love him, I did.

However, I couldn't say it out loud right now.

I just wasn't there yet.

**~HM~**

I wasn't sure how long passed from the start of my frustration to the finish, but it felt like an eternity. By then, my frustration and guilt was nowhere to be found anymore. For now, anyways. But, that was enough for me and I was able to breathe easily again for the mean time. I was also completely cried out as well for the time being.

"I think I need some fresh air," I said, my breathing as well as my voice back to normal now.

"Would you like to go for a drive?" Jacob suggested as I crawled off of him and stood up.

I smiled and nodded. "I'd like that," I said sincerely.

Jacob stood up and pulled me into a hug, kissing the top of my head. "Alright, let's go."

I hugged him back real quick before pulling away and going to get my keys. "Here, you drive," I said throwing them at him when I turned back around, and no surprise here when he caught them easily.

"Sure, sure."

I rolled my eyes and chuckled at his often used catch phrase. "You should copyright that," I said, giggling.

"Copyright what?" Jacob asked, raising an eyebrow in confusion and curiosity.

"Sure, sure," I answered. "It's like your own personal catch phrase. And, I think you should copyright it."

"Is that even possible?"

I shrugged. "I'm not sure," I answered, honestly having no idea. I'm not even sure why I brought it up in the first place, really. "But, it'd be pretty cool, wouldn't it? You know, to have your own personal phrase that only you can use."

"It's a nice thought."

"If you ever have some time and get bored one day, you should check into it."

"I'll keep that in mind."

I laughed. "You should."

"I will."

"Good," I replied. "Alright, now let's get going before we run out of time," I smiled, opening my door and walking out followed closely behind by Jacob.

"Bella and I are going for a drive," Jacob called to our father's when we made it to the bottom of the stairs.

Charlie and Billy both distracted by the game on the television answered, not really paying attention to what Jacob just said, one after another.

"Alright."

"Okay."

Both Jacob and I laughed before heading out the door.

**~HM~**

After driving around, going nowhere in particular, it began to rain. The rain mixed up with the silence in the truck made it very easy for me to get caught up in some daydreams. Except a certain daydream, in particular, was front and center in my head. It was another one of the ones that I had daydreamed about that first week after Jacob left me high and dry in the alley next to my work and stayed away for the entire week.

I smirked to myself as I recalled the past Saturday when Jacob and I played out one of my daydreams. And, just like that I suddenly wanted to act out this one, too. Although, the only difference between reality and the daydream was that we were in my truck as opposed to the Rabbit. Oh, and I'm not sure we'd just be parking on the side of the road, either. I wasn't in the mood to get caught for the third time. 'Cause if I did, then I was sure that I'd lose my mind completely. But, surely we could somehow make due. After all, we had weeks of practice under our belts, so to speak.

"I want you," I said bluntly.

I lost all of my shyness sometime around the alley meet up when I practically jumped him for the first time.

For a moment, Jacob looked taken back as he looked back and forth from me to the road. "Now?" he asked when he finally found his voice.

I nodded and licked my lips, knowing fully well that it'd be something that brought me one step closer to sealing the deal.

"Bells..." Jacob said trying to keep his eyes and thoughts on the road.

I pouted moving over closer to him, and whispering in his ear, "Please," followed by me nipping at his ear and breathing seductively.

Jacob shivered and I could feel him tense up.

Oh, yeah. I was definitely going to get what I wanted.

"We can't do it here," he forced out.

I pulled back slightly and frowned. "Why not?"

Since when did he suddenly not want to have sex with me as soon as I offered?

"Because I want to be able to see you next time we do."

I relaxed a bit and the frown disappeared from my face when the words sunk in.

Okay. So, it's not that he didn't want to have sex with me. He just wants to see me when we do.

I suddenly recalled the last time we had sex in the truck. The frown returned. How were we suppose to have sex, then? We couldn't do it in the truck because then he wouldn't be able to see me. Fuck! Wait! We did it outside in my daydream. So, all we needed to do was find somewhere to pull over. But, that wouldn't work. My truck was too high. How could we possibly have sex on the hood? Damn!

Wait a second.

My frown was replaced with a wide grin just like that as I gratefully recalled a very specific episode of True Blood. "The bed of the truck," I grinned at him.

"In the rain?" he asked looking over at me.

i shrugged my shoulders. "It's just rain."

"Condoms?"

"Glove box," I answered, inclining my head back towards it.

Jacob groaned and sped up.

To which, my wide grin grew even wider, to the point where it was painful, but I could have cared less at this point.

"I need to find somewhere to pull over," he said quickly, focusing very intently on the road.

I could feel the anticipation building.

Feeling like a tease, all of a sudden, I decided to screw with Jacob a bit.

And, I knew just how to do it.

With a mischievous grin, I moved back away from Jacob until my back was hitting the passenger's side door. Jacob glanced at me for a moment with a questioning stare, that was filled with lust, to which I just shrugged and nodded my head back to the road. He took in a deep breath and turned back to the road reluctantly.

Once his attention was back on the road, I proceeded to unbutton my jeans and slip my hand into them.

I watched closely and could see Jacob freeze and sniff as he caught the scent of my arousal as I slipped my fingers past the elastic band of my panties and trailed them down, slipping them into me without hesitation.

I moaned.

Jacob growled.

My panties and fingers got even wetter.

"Damn it, Bella!" Jacob said through clenched teeth as he turned his head to look at me.

"Uh-uh-uh, Jacob," I replied, waving my unoccupied pointer finger at him in a scolding manner. "Keep your eyes on the road. I don't feel like dying tonight."

Jacob growled at me, which almost made me jump him right then and there because of how much I really love that growl of his, but turned his attention back to the road.

Teasing suddenly became the last thing on my mind, all due to that damn growl. "Just pull over already!" I exclaimed, hurriedly.

"Do you want to get caught again?"

I frowned. "No."

"Then, shh! I'm trying to find somewhere."

I glared at him.

It was funny how quickly the mood could change.

Moments ago, I was teasing him.

And, now, I was in a hurry to skip foreplay and just have him inside me already.

But, I didn't want to get caught, so I'd just have to wait until he found somewhere to pull over where no one would catch us. God only knew how long that would take.

It was then that I remembered that there was an abandoned house not too far from where we were now. Reluctantly, but in a hurry, I quickly pulled my hand from my pants, not even bothering to button them back up. They'd be off not too long from now, anyways.

"Pull over," I demanded.

"Wha..." Jacob started to ask.

I cut him off right away. "Pull over and switch seats," I demanded again. "I know where we can go."

"Just tell me."

I shook my head. "No, we'll get there faster if I drive."

Jacob sighed a frustrated sigh before relenting and pulling over. "Fine."

We quickly switched seats, and I wasted no time speeding off to our destination.

If I hadn't been in such a hurry, I would have questioned Jacob's mischievous grin. But, I didn't. And, I learned the hard way just what that grin was all about.

The exact second I pulled back onto the road, Jacob scooted closer to me and trailed his hand up my thigh and into my still unbuttoned pants. I had to grab the steering wheel tightly to stop from swerving. My breath quickly caught in my throat when he slipped his fingers past my panties and wasted no time entering them into me.

"Fuck!" I hissed tightening my grip even tighter if that was even possible.

Jacob chuckled. "You teased me first. I'm just repaying you the favor."

"Ass," I muttered under my breath.

"You know you like it," he said teasingly.

And, I couldn't argue because he was right. I really, really did like it. Better yet, I loved it.

**~HM~**

I don't know, nor did I even care, how long it took for me to pull behind the old abandoned house. Quite frankly, time was the last thing on my mind. I quickly slammed on the brakes, parked the truck, turned it off, pulled the key out of the ignition, threw it in the cup holder, and pounced.

Jacob barely had time to register was what happening before I was on him, kissing him like I hadn't kissed him in years, and clawing at his shirt trying to get it up and over his head without having to pull away from him, which was impossible, but it didn't stop me from trying.

I pulled away just long enough to pull his shirt over his head and throw it to the floor.

Thanks to Jacob's quick hands both my shirt and bra followed suit almost instantaneously.

Before I could lean forward to kiss him again, he dropped his head, and sucked one of my already hard nipples into his mouth. I moaned and proceeded to grind my hips down against his, causing him to hum against me and send what felt like electric currents throughout my body. I found his hair with my hands and clawed at it, pulling him as close to me as I could. Not once, did I slow down my grinding.

Moments later, Jacob switched to the other breast and I moaned again. I continued grinding myself against him, getting wetter and wetter with each grind. I moaned even more the more I felt him getting harder and harder each time my clothed, very wet pussy met his clothed, very hard erection.

Wanting him inside me as soon as possible, I reluctantly pushed him away from me and lead my hands down to the button of his shorts. I unbuttoned them and very quickly both of us made quick work of each others bottoms. Once they were out of the way, I was left in just my panties and Jacob was completely naked.

Before I could register what happened next in my head, I heard a tear and I was completely naked as well.

"Well, it's a good thing, I didn't wear one of my favorite pairs of panties today," I laughed looking down and making eye contact with Jacob's black, lust filled eyes.

Oh god.

That look in his eyes.

Yeah, screw this.

No more foreplay or waiting.

Reaching behind me, I opened the glove box and struggled to find a condom. When I finally found one, I yanked it out, and slammed the glove box closed. I used my teeth to rip open the foil packet and wasted no time at all to roll the condom onto Jacob's hard length.

"I need it now," I breathed.

He nodded and the next thing I knew the door was flung open and we practically fell out the passengers side door, but neither of us cared. The door was slammed shut in the next moment and I pressed up against it, bucking wantonly against Jacob practically begging for him to fuck me already. Forget the bed of the truck. Right here, against the door would work just fine for me. And, I'm sure Jacob wouldn't complain about it either.

I jumped up and wrapped my legs around him, pulling him closer into me.

"Now, Jacob, please. Please, now! Please!" I pleaded not caring how pathetic I sounded.

"Alright, okay," Jacob replied reaching down to grab himself and guide him to me.

"Give it to me hard," I hissed, looking right into his eyes.

"As you wish," he replied, snapping his hips forward and ramming me back into the door.

I let out a high pitched squeal as he filled me completely.

Damn! It just got better and better each and every time!

Fuck! I would never be able to get enough of this and him. Never, ever, ever!

In the next instant, Jacob and I were in the midst of a very heated and passionate, tongue and teeth, kiss as he pounded relentlessly into me, harder and harder with each and every single pounding thrust.

Both of us were moaning and groaning loudly.

I was happy and relieved that the old abandoned house we were parked behind was at least half a mile away from any human life. We could both be as loud as we wanted to be and no one would be able to hear us. Not only that, the heavy rain helped quite a bit, too. Both of our bodies were soaked, but we couldn't care less about that fact either.

I pushed him away reluctantly and he leaned down to suck, bite, lick, and nip at my neck.

"J...Jake," I panted.

"Hmm?" he groaned against my neck.

"I...I wanna...b...be on...to...top," I moaned out. "I n...need to be...on top," I rephrased.

I could feel him nod against me as he walked us to the back of the truck, not once slipping out of me. He pulled the back of the truck down and set me on it. I moved backwards, groaning in protest as he slipped out of me. But, he needed to get up into the back of the truck, too.

He wasted no time jumping up and making his way back to me, thrusting back into me.

"Fuck!" I exclaimed pushing at his shoulders.

He knew what I wanted and rolled over, pulling me on top of him.

I didn't hesitate to start moving, bucking my hips, moving back and forth, lifting off of him and dropping back down. All that could be heard was our moans, groans, the sound of skin slapping against skin, and the rain falling down around us. There was no doubt in my mind that this was so much better than my day dream...by all means.

My first orgasm of the day and night came seconds later.

Jacob's first one came a minute or so after mine.

And, then we took a breather for a while and went again...and again...and again...and, well need I really say more?

Seconds turned into minutes.

Minutes turned into hours.

We stayed in our own little world for God only knows how long and continuously brought each other to new heights with our mouths, hands, and any other parts of each other that we could think of. What started out as a hard fuck turned into an exploration of each other and what other than sex itself made us both come and such.

For once, it seemed like everything clicked into place.

Jacob and I fit perfectly.

It's like we were made for one another.

There was just those few things that were keeping us from our happy ending.

But, I wasn't in the mood to think about or deal with any of them just yet.

However, that day was sure to come.

More than likely, sooner rather than later.

But, I'd deal with all of that when the time actually came.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, now Jacob and Bella have a little bit of the secret weight lifted off of their shoulders.


	18. Chapter 17 - ...loving you could be so fun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Sexual content and possibly some cursing in this chapter. Turn back now if you think/know it'll offend you in some way.
> 
> Oh, and the way this chapter worked out...it's more smut than plot. But, every once in a while that's a good thing, right?! Plus, jealous Bella is back! And, we all know how fun she can be! Also, after all the drama from recently...I think we all deserve some JB smut! Am I right? Or am I right?
> 
> Also, by the end of this chapter, I have a feeling that everyone will be very, very happy! :D
> 
> So go ahead and enjoy! You know you wanna!

The next school day went by pretty quickly, yet at the same time awfully slow.

As for the day going by pretty quickly, it probably helped that Edward wasn't at school at all...he was still obviously avoiding me. For what reason exactly, I had no idea. But, at the same time I was relieved and happy that I once again had a free day away from him.

As for the day going by awfully slow, it surely didn't help that I spent most of the day passing the time by replaying what happened with Jacob and I the afternoon and night before. The down fall to that, I had to secretly keep biting my hand to stop from moaning out loud. None of my friends would ever let me live it down if they heard me moaning during class.

Lucky for me, I actually made it through every single class without anyone knowing what was going on in my dirty little mind. Well, except me, of course. But, it's my mind, so that was a stupid thought. Oh, and Jacob. Actually, he's the one who started the replaying of last night's events.

He had texted me during the first class of the day. Every single text read something about what had happened last night. Jacob didn't hold anything back in any of the texts. They were down right naughty and it's as if they got naughtier with each and every text sent. I couldn't possibly respond without the teacher catching me from me being too loud. So, I had no choice but to read each text he sent, all the while biting into my hand to the point where I now had a temporary indentation of my own teeth marks in it.

Damn it, Jacob Black!

I'll freaking get you for this!

I swear it...I so will!

The moment the last bell rang, I was up and out of my chair faster than a single heartbeat. I didn't even want to think about what I looked like to all of my friends and fellow classmates. I just needed to get out of that school as soon as possible. After a day full of teasing and scene replaying in my mind without being able to release it, thanks to my friends who insisted I eat lunch with them...even though that's when I was planning on going to the bathroom and getting rid of my sexual frustration brought on my Jacob, I was going crazy.

I wasted no time running to my truck, like I was a bat out of hell. I pulled out of the parking lot in a rush and drove a few minutes down the road until I found the turn off I was looking for. Driving down that road a little ways, it lead me to an area that very rarely was occupied by humans. For once, I was actually thanking whatever higher power was listening for making me take a wrong turn a few months back.

I pulled over, out of the view of anyone who may possibly pass by, and proceeded to rid myself of all the teasing and replaying Jacob's texts had caused me to go through...twice.

**~HM~**

About half an hour later, satisfied and way less sexually frustrated as before, I pulled into the driveway with a big smile on my face. The smile fell and turned into a tight lipped curious expression as I got out of my truck and slammed the door closed to find none other than Leah sitting on the top front porch step, wearing a smirk that I couldn't quite place.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, eyeing her curiously, as I walked up the front porch steps and proceeded to unlock the front door.

I looked back just in time to see her shrug.

Okay, this was totally strange.

What was Leah Clearwater doing here?

"Leah..."

"I had nothing better to do," she cut me off, shrugging again, as she invited herself in and followed me into the house.

I raised an eyebrow and asked her, doubtfully, "Seriously?"

Leah's smirk suddenly turned into a mischievous grin that I had seen before...very recently.

It was then that something in me clicked. I suddenly realized that whatever she was here for had something or other to do with Jacob. I just knew it because the last time I saw that mischievous grin was the day when Leah confronted me about knowing Jacob and I's dirty little secret.

"Where's Jake?" I asked dumping my book bag unceremoniously onto the kitchen table.

Leah's grin grew as she answered, "He's with Amy."

My eyes widened and I felt jealousy bubble up inside of me yet again at hearing _**her**_ name. "What?" I asked through clenched teeth, hoping and praying that I had heard Leah wrong.

"I said he's with Amy," she repeated.

"Oh," I said simply, trying not to sound to displeased.

All that freaking teasing earlier during school and he was with Amy now.

Was he freaking serious?!

"You mad about that?" she asked, knowingly.

I shook my head quickly, still for whatever stupid reason not wanting to admit to being jealous, and answered with the first thing that came to mind, "We agreed it's just sex. That's it. He can hang out with any girl he wants."

Leah raised an eyebrow at me. "You sure about that?"

I nodded my head. "Yep," I popped the "P."

Leah shrugs and turned to leave replying nonchalantly, "Alright, then."

"Where is he?!" I suddenly blurted out.

Leah turned around and snickered at me. "Yeah, it's just sex."

I glared at her and crossed my arms over my chest.

"They went to the movies."

"Oh, okay."

Alright, so they were only at the movies. That's not too bad.

"That's it? That's your reaction?" Leah asked me in disbelief.

I shrugged and tried to play it off as no big deal. "I don't care."

"Yeah, sure."

"So, I'm gonna just do my homework now," I said, pulling out a chair at the kitchen table and starting to sit down.

"Uh-huh."

Aw, damn it! I can't do this!

"Oh screw it!" I exclaimed, dropping the charade and grabbing my keys making a beeline for the front door.

Leah calls after me laughing, "Yeah, you're just BFWB's."

I wanted to reply, but couldn't bring myself to actually do so as I ran out the door, not even bothering to close it behind me. Surely, Leah would think of it on her way out.

**~HM~**

I couldn't believe he actually went to the movies with Amy! What the hell? What a jackass move on his part. I currently hated him. Oh, yes, that's right. Right at this current moment in time...I, _Isabella Marie Swan,_ hated _Jacob Ephraim Black_ with a heated passion. How could he do this to me?!

Wait a second.

He's not mine. So, he didn't do anything to me...well, not directly or purposefully. Right? So, why was I so pissed off at him? I mean, yeah, we've got the BFWB's thing going on between us, but...I'm still dating Edward. So, Jacob is well in his right to go out with other girls.

But, god did the thought irk me.

I didn't want him going out with other girls!

No, no, no!

Just no!

Hmm...I guess now I know how he feels when he sees me and Edward together.

It's interesting when you actually see things through your own perspective with your own eyes.

I had never gotten it before.

But, at least, now I understood him better.

Better late than never right.

Of course, it still didn't stop the jealousy that I was feeling inside, though. The jealousy that I would never admit out loud obviously. That would be overstepping lines that I just refused to let go of.

**~HM~**

I was pleasantly surprised when I ran into the movie theater and realized that I had arrive just on time. My eyes were instantly glued to Jacob and Amy who were just then getting their tickets. I made my way closer and just barely heard what movie they were here for. I waited and bought my ticket when Jacob and Amy were at the concession counter.

Once I had my ticket, I skipped the concession stand all together since I wasn't really here to watch the movie. I quickly got around them and made my way to the theater that the movie was being played in without being caught. I purposely chose the upper right hand of the theater corner to sit in and slid down in the seat.

I waited until I saw him walk with Amy before I pulled out my cell phone and dialed his number.

When he picked up, I quickly blurted out in a seductive drawl before he could say a word, "I want you now."

I could see him tense up from where I was sitting and smiled to myself.

"I can't. I'm..."

I cut him off. "At the movies. I know."

"What? How do you..."

"Look up in the corner," I smirked waving at him as he looked up and spotted me.

"What are you..."

"Sit at the bottom close to the screen," I ordered. "That way when it gets dark you can make up an excuse to leave and then you can come up here."

Luckily, the way the theater was set up there were stairs leading up away from the screen and stairs leading down towards the screen with a walkway separating them.

"You can't be ser..."

"I will come down there myself.," I threatened before suddenly getting an even better idea. "Or..." I purposely trailed off as I unbuttoned my jeans and stuck my free hand inside. "I can do it on my own," I moaned.

"What are you..." he started to ask, his breathing starting to become heavy.

"Getting you back for your texts all during school today," I growled at him.

For a moment, he smirked up at me.

But, I didn't let that smirk stay there for long. I quickly slipped my hand past the elastic of my underwear and moaned quietly into the phone as I started rubbing my already throbbing clit. "Oh, Jake. I'm so wet," I drawled out seductively.

All the while I made sure that I kept eye contact with him.

Jacob sighed and gave in. "Alright. I'll be there."

I licked my lips and smiled. "Good. I'll be waiting."

And, then I hung up.

Still not once breaking eye contact until we had no other choice, but to.

**~HM~**

Jacob waited until about ten or so minutes into the movie before I saw him get up. I had a feeling he waited that long to tease me right back. It was a constant teasing battle and fight for control between us. On my side, I had my stubbornness. Oh Jacob's side, he had his future alpha blood coursing throughout his veins.

My eyes were quickly drawn to his as he made his way up the stairs towards me.

"You have no idea what you've done," he growled, that damn growl, as he knelt down in front of me.

Keep it together, Bella.

Despite the growl that always got me, I managed to power through it this time.

"Oh, I don't?" I asked in a challenging tone.

Jacob leaned forward and whispered huskily into my ear, "I want to taste you, Bells."

And, strike! I'm out!

Jacob - Number 1!

Bella - Big Fat Zero!

I couldn't keep back the whimper that passed through my parted lips.

Jacob smirked leaning back and then forward again to press his lips against mine. "Can I taste you? Here? Now?" he asked, smirking the entire time.

Who the hell was I to say no?!

Nobody?!

Yep, exactly!

Nobody!

I nodded my head frantically, and stuttered out my answer, "Y-y-yes."

"Sit back and think of Florida or something."

I couldn't stop myself from giggling at that. "Seriously, Ja..."

I was cut short when Jacob pulled my hand from my pants and replaced it with mine.

Yep, no more words coming from this girl unless it's something sexual.

"Be a good girl, and keep it down will you," Jacob looked at me seriously.

All I could do was nod my head like a weirdo.

"Good," he smiled before taking his hand away from me.

I frowned and was about to protest.

"Lift," he ordered, placing fingers through the belt loops on either side of my jeans, and I did just that.

In the next moment, I don't know how due to the small amount of room he had to work with, Jacob had my pants off and my legs spread just enough to his liking. If that wasn't one of the hottest sights I'd ever seen, then I don't know what would be. There was just something about him kneeling in between my legs, me on full display for him, like I was being served to him on a platter.

Oh good god!

A pool of wetness gathered between my legs and I knew without a doubt that Jacob knew because he leaned forward and inhaled the smell of my arousal.

My ever loving god!

"You smell delicious, Bella," he grinned. "And, you taste even better," he growled, mouthing me through the fabric that separated his mouth and my pussy.

Suddenly, my panties were my worst enemies. I had never hated them as much as I did now.

"Rip them off," I demanded bucking my hips against his face.

"My, my," he chuckled, teasingly. "Someone's impatient."

He leaned back away from me and I groaned in protest trying to move closer to him, but his hands pressed against my belly, stilling my movements.

"Damn it, Jake! Please!"

"Well...since you asked so nicely..."

In the next moment, my panties were ripped from me, and I couldn't be happier.

Although, what followed blew my panties being ripped off of me right out of the park.

His mouth was on me and all coherent thoughts flew right out the window.

All, I could think, at that point was...

"Oh my! Fuck! Damn! Fuck! Oh god! Jake!"

I'm not sure in what order I said all of those, but I knew that I had said them.

Jacob chuckled against me sending vibrations shooting through me.

I perched my hands on his head, and grabbed handfuls of hair trying to pull him as close to me as I possibly could.

God, I never wanted this to end...ever!

He licked...and sucked...and nipped...and fucked...and everything else he could possibly do to me with that damn tongue.

I was seeing stars and taking short, second or minute long, vacations back and forth from heaven.

It was fucking amazing!

There was no denying just how much of a master Jacob was at using his mouth.

He deserved like a billion or trillion different gold stars for how great he was at this.

"Are you close, Bella?" he asked, pulling away from me, and replacing his tongue with his fingers.

"Y-yes," I managed to stutter out.

Jacob smirked upon hearing my answer and stopped his fingers movements inside me abruptly. "Admit it Bella," he growled at me.

Between breaths and glares of protests, I managed to ask, "What? Admit what?"

"Admit that you're jealous of Amy."

Wait, what?! Seriously? He was going to really do this now?

"What the hell, Jacob?!" I hissed, quickly coming down from the orgasm that I was so close to only seconds ago.

"Admit it and I'll let you come."

Apparently, those were the magic words of the moment because just like that I was no longer myself. I was suddenly a new version of myself. A version of myself that wanted to tell Jacob everything. I wasn't going to hold back. No more. I was done holding back. I would admit everything to Jacob.

"Fucking yes, okay! Yes, I'm fucking jealous of Amy! I'm so fucking jealous of her!"

Now was not the time to watch my language.

"And, why are you jealous of Amy?" he pressed on, looking me dead in the eyes.

Before I could stop myself, I blurted out, "Because she's everywhere that I wish I could be!"

The second the words left my mouth, I was suddenly back to the old version of Bella again. I quickly slapped a hand over me mouth and adverted my gaze to anywhere other than at Jacob.

"Bells...do you really mean that?" Jacob asked after a few minutes of silence.

Now was not the time to lie.

"Yes," I whispered, nodding my head.

Jacob pulled his fingers out of me and helped me back into my jeans.

Oh, god! What had I just said?! This was so not good! Oh, god!

"Jake..." I started to say.

Jacob grabbed my hand. "Come on," he said pulling me behind him.

Not that I really cared, I asked, anyways, "What about Amy?"

Jacob shrugged. "I'll just text her later and tell her I got sick and had to go home."

"Umm..."

Okay...what was I suppose to say?

Jacob dragged me out of the movie theater.

"Where's your truck?" he asked once we were outside.

"Over there," I answered, pointing to where I had parked earlier.

**~HM~**

A few minutes later, I was the three big C's of the moment; confused, clueless, and curious.

I was sitting in the passenger seat of my truck, looking over at Jacob. He had been silent ever since we started our drive to wherever he was taking me. I had asked him where we were going at least three times and he hadn't answered me yet.

So, I decided to try yet again.

"Seriously, Jake...where are we going?"

"You'll see," was all he said.

**~HM~**

About 15 or so minutes later, we were parked and Jacob was holding my hand tightly, a blanket in his other, and was leading me up an unfamiliar path.

"Jake..."

"Almost there," he said.

We walked another couple of minutes before finally stopping in a clearing. Well, actually, as I looked around, I realized it wasn't actually a clearing, per say.

"Oh my god!" I gasped out taking in the surroundings and the gorgeous view. "This place is..." I was at a loss for words. "It's beautiful."

"It's my secret place," Jacob smiled, taking in my amazed expression. "I come here to think a lot."

"Wow!" was all I could say.

I walked a little ways and came to the edge of the area and looked down to see the most beautiful scenery I'd ever seen. There were trees galore surrounding a big beautiful lake. It was almost like the cliffs that the pack cliff dove at near the beach. Except the scene in front of me was so different and so much more beautiful.

"You like it?" Jacob asked coming up behind me.

"Like it?" I gave him an incredulous look. "Try love it! This truly is an amazing view!"

"It really is," he agreed, taking my previous place and looking out over the lake view.

"Umm...Jake," I said, noticing that while I was busy viewing the scenery, he had laid out the blanket. "What's this for?" I asked turning back to look at him.

I gasped when my eyes met his and I saw the look in them. Instead of the usual black with lust color that I was use to seeing, his eyes were the most beautiful brown I'd ever seen, and that's hard to say because brown never has been a very beautiful color. But, his eyes were truly a beautiful shade of brown.

"Jake," I breathed out.

Without a word, Jacob walked up to me, and leaned down to press his lips softly and gently to mine.

At first I was shocked still. Compared to the heated passionate kisses that we always shared, this was slow and meaningful and full of longing. It took me a few seconds to get with the program, but soon enough I was kissing him back as gently and slow and soft as he was kissing me.

What happened next was something that I wasn't used to at all. Jacob picked me up and then gently laid me back down onto the blanket that he'd laid out only minutes before. We slowly proceeded to undress each other, taking our times exploring one another without the usual heat and quickness. This wasn't at all how our usual hook ups went. This was the complete opposite. Instead of heated and passionate, this was slow and sensual.

Once we were undressed and both ready, Jacob grabbed the condom he'd brought of his pocket, ripped the packet open, and put it on. Then, he slowly and lovingly lined himself up with my entrance and entered me, taking his time to fill me up as opposed to just entering me quick and all at once.

The entire time, we moved slowly together. For once, I truly and completely felt like I was one with him. Everything just felt so surreal. The amazing view and place we were sharing this moment together. The simple fact that we were sharing this moment together.

It was just so perfect.

And, suddenly the timing just felt right.

I was done keeping the truth to myself.

Everyone had known it long before I did.

But, I was finally going to say it to him.

It just felt like the right and perfect thing to do now.

"I love you, Jake," I admitted, out loud for the first time, whispering as we came together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've always wanted to do something like that at the movies. lol. Bella is one very lucky girl! I'm jealous!
> 
> Also, anyone else getting ulterior motive vibes from Leah...I'm not saying there are any...I'm just wondering if anyone is getting that feeling? I kind of feel like I turned her into a pimp of sorts this chapter. lol. Oops!
> 
> But, more importantly...the ending! It just felt right to put it at the end.


	19. Chapter 18 - It's true, I was such a good, good girl...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a heads up, this chapter is shorter than usual, and it's sort of a filler in a way, but it's still important. Oh, and Leah's in this chapter! I love writing her, especially her no nonsense way of thinking and talking! I hope you enjoy the chapter!
> 
> Warning: No detailed sexual content, but maybe some cursing. Turn back now if you think/know it'll offend you in some way.

As soon as the words left my mouth, it was as if the world around us had stopped abruptly. Our eyes locked in an intense, yet loving and meaningful gaze, and it felt like Jacob and I were suddenly the only ones that existed. All I could see and think of at that moment was Jacob. And, I knew without out a doubt I was all that Jacob could see and think about as well.

I could see the surprise in Jacob's eyes, having not expected for me to say those words just yet. "Say it again," he whispered in a pleading tone, as if he wasn't sure whether he had heard me correctly or not.

With a smile, I cupped his face in my hands and brought him even closer to me. "I love you," I repeated, placing a chaste kiss on the lips.

In the next moment, I was squealing and squirming under him as he peppered my face, all over, with kisses.

"You..."

Kiss on my forehead.

"Have no idea..."

Kiss on my left eyelid.

"How long..."

Kiss on my right eyelid.

"I've waited..."

Kiss on my right cheek.

"To hear..."

Kiss on my left cheek.

"You say that."

Kiss on my chin.

"I love you, too, Bells," he smiled, wholeheartedly, kissing me on the lips.

"I know you do," I grinned. "And, now you know that I love you, too," I said with a wink before pushing him off of me and rolling on top of him to prove just how much I did love him, after all.

**~HM~**

I couldn't even recall what else really happened after that. Well, other than more love making and saying those three magic words over and over again. Before I knew it, it was the next afternoon. For the life of me, I couldn't even remember going to school on Thursday. Everything after Jacob brought me home was a blur. Apparently, I was on autopilot the whole day or something along the lines of that.

I wondered if maybe this was what being lovesick was like? 'Cause if it was, then I think I could really get used to it.

My life on autopilot didn't end until I got home from school that day. For the second day in a row, when I got out of my truck, I was surprised to see Leah sitting there on the front porch waiting for me.

"What are doing around here?" I asked, experiencing Déjà vu, as I walked up the porch steps and unlocked the front door.

 **"** Nothing," she answered, shrugging.

"Am I really suppose to believe that?" I questioned, raising an eyebrow at her, doubtfully.

Leah smirked, and prided, "You're getting better, Swan."

"What are you really doing here?" I asked her, turning to face her, and crossing my arms over my chest.

"Just wanted to see how everything went yesterday," she admitted.

"Don't you already know?" I asked her, figuring that Jacob wouldn't have really tried to hide what happened, between us, from her since she already knew our dirty little secret.

There was a moment of silence as I thought everything over in my head.

Oh my ever loving god!

My eyes widened as realization dawned on me. "Oh my god!" I shrieked. "You were in on it, weren't you?!" I accused, dropping my arms to my side, as shock ran through me.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Leah said playing dumb.

I couldn't refrain as I stomped my foot, even though I knew it was completely childish. "Yes, you do!" I exclaimed. "Jacob had you come over and tell me he was with Amy, didn't he?"

Leah stayed quiet, but continued to smirk at me, crossing her own arms.

I shook my head and huffed, "Damn him! He set me up!" I glared at Leah. "And, you helped him!"

Leah gave me a "well duh" look. "Of course, I did," she deadpanned. "He's my pack brother and I, believe it or not, want to see him happy. And, in some weird way, the only way he's truly happy is when he's with you."

It was then that I suddenly wanted to know just how much Jacob had told Leah, and how happy I really made him.

"Do you know everything?" I asked, inquisitively.

"Everything?"

"He didn't show you or tell you what I said?"

Leah shook her head. "No, but he was extremely giddy," she informed me.

With that being said, I felt the need to confide in someone, other than Jacob and I, about what I said to Jacob.

"Do you want to come in?" I offered.

Leah raised an eyebrow. "Seriously?"

"I've got cookies," I said, suggestively, knowing that she loved food just as much as the guys of the pack did.

"What kind?" she asked, her interest piqued.

"Umm...Chocolate Chip, Peanut Butter, Reese's Peanut Butter and Chocolate Chunk, Oatmeal, Snicker-doodle, Sugar, and White Chip Macadamia Nut cookies," I answered, recalling the cookie tornado that I created a few days back.

"Somebody went baking crazy," Leah laughed.

"If only you knew the half of it," I laughed along with her. "Well, Jacob ate about half of them, but there's still a lot left over. I just don't want them to go bad."

Leah thought for a moment before nodding her head. "Alright, fine."

"Great," I smiled opening the front door and walking on with Leah following behind.

I made my way into the kitchen and threw my book bag onto the table. Then, I went to the kitchen cabinet where I had put the cookies and took them out.

"Take your pick," I said placing the containers of cookies in front of Leah at the table.

I went to the fridge and got myself a bottled water and then took a seat across from Leah at the table.

After sitting there in silence for a few minutes, I finally decided to go ahead and break it.

"I told Jacob that I loved him yesterday," I blurted out, looking down at my hands on the table, waiting for Leah's response.

She was quiet for a little while longer before exclaiming, "It's about damn time!"

Yes, it really was about damn time!

"Shouldn't you be happier?" she asked, apparently taking in my glum expression.

"I'm so confused," I admitted.

"Confused about what?" Leah pressed on.

Here goes the God's honest.

"I love them both," I confessed, not that it was really ever a secret. "What the hell am I suppose to do now?"

Leah sighed and shook her head. "Bella..."

I was taken back because that was the first time that Leah had ever called me by my actual name as opposed to my last name.

"Are you going to take the "I love you" back?" she asked, accusatory.

My head snapped up.

I was even more taken back by that question.

"No! Oh, god no! I said it to him because I meant it," I told her in complete honesty. "I'm not taking it back!" I exclaimed, feeling rather offended by her question.

Leah nodded in understanding and then proceeded to tell it to me straight without sugar coating anything. "You really need to get your priorities straight, Swan," she spoke in a stern, no nonsense tone. "Yes, it's possible to love two people at once. But, at the same time, you can't have them both."

She was silent, thinking something through, before finally letting it out, 'Unless, of course, you're planning on turning into a polygamist. But, I highly doubt that would even be a choice even if you did go that way seeing as if you're in a human, wolf, vampire triangle with a wolf and vampire who absolutely hate each other by nature."

My eyes were wide as I listened to her go on and on.

"You're going to have to choose, and that time is fast approaching," she finished off with.

"I know," I said quietly.

"Also, I'd really rather not have to see Jacob hurt by you again," Leah admitted, looking me dead in the eyes. "Therefore, you better think long and hard about who you choose this time," she said in a menacing tone. "'Cause if by chance it's the leech..." she trailed off.

I would be lying if I said that I wasn't afraid of what she was going to say next.

"I'll make damn sure you stay away from Jacob...for good," she promised before standing up abruptly and turning to walk out of the kitchen.

Before I could even think up a reply, I heard the front door shut and I was left alone to my thoughts.

But, my thoughts were quickly thrown onto the back burner because I was, out of the blue, hit by an extreme feeling nausea. I shot up out of my chair, knocking it over backwards in the process, and just barely made it to the sink in time before getting sick and emptying my stomach of everything I ate earlier that day.

**~HM~**

After that not so nice end to my perfect day, I decided to take a nice relaxing bath in hopes that it would calm my nerves. I assumed my bout of sickness was brought on by nerves because I couldn't think of any other cause. Well, not right off the bat. But, my nerves seemed to be the go to suspect.

As it turned out, the bath relaxed me alright. That is until I started thinking about what Leah said earlier. I was going to have to choose very soon. The thought scared me to death because no matter how I chose, I'd end up losing someone that I really cared about. And, I really didn't want to lose either Jacob or Edward. But, I didn't really have a choice in the matter.

It wouldn't be fair to me, to Jacob, or to Edward if I continued to play us all like I was doing. I wasn't that bad of a person. But, then again, I wasn't that good of a person either...not like I was before I moved to Forks and everything happened the way it happened.

But, how could I possibly choose between them? I loved them both. Not only that, but I, also, already knew from experience that I was a mess without both of them in my life. How would I be able to get threw losing one of them again? And, more than likely, for good.

When Edward left me, I was an emotional wreck. I was so bad off that I had turned into a zombie, literally. Well, minus the eating brains and human flesh part. When Edward came back and I chose him again, I had lost Jacob for a while. Although, I didn't turn into a zombie, well not that anyone around me could tell, like I did when Edward left, I was just as bad off, if not worse without Jacob around.

Jacob had become my sun while Edward was away. But, my sun disappeared when Edward returned. And, I may have stayed away from the dead zombie phase like Edward leaving made me into, but if I'm being completely honest, I was a living zombie without Jacob. No one knew how I was feeling because I had learned from being a zombie when Edward left how to be a zombie in private. And, that's just what I did.

When I practically threw Jacob away like yesterday's trash when I went to save Edward, I returned to Forks only to find that Jacob was hurt by and angry at me. He wouldn't call me. He wouldn't answer my own calls. He wouldn't come see me. When I went to see him, the pack would turn me away. It was awful. I felt horrible, but there was no way I could let myself return to zombie Bella again.

I didn't want to hurt my dad or mom or anyone again. I, especially, didn't want to hurt Jacob worse by having him know that he was, well mainly me, but indirectly he the cause this time of my zombie state. So, therefore, on the outside, everyone may have seen me as happy and content, but on the inside, I was the same zombie that I was when Edward left...just worse because I didn't have the sun to guide my way.

Which lead me to my current thoughts, I had no choice but to choose either Jacob or Edward soon.

And, now it was just a matter of which would be the worst on me?

Living the rest of my life without Edward?

Or living the rest of eternity without Jacob?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know. There wasn't really that much Jacob in this chapter. But, he'll be back next chapter! I promise!


	20. Chapter 19 - ...before you came along.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just warning you all...you might want to prepare yourselves for what's to come by the end of the chapter. It's gonna be shocking...just don't kill me. I promise, it's not as bad as it'll look or sound.
> 
> Warning: No sexual content, but some cursing. Turn back now if you think/know it'll offend you in some way.

After my bath, I ended up passing out from exhaustion the exact moment that my head hit my pillow. I know I should have felt better when I woke up the next morning, but that sadly wasn't the case. If anything I felt worse, minus the nausea. That part was over and done with, but the headache that took it's place almost made me wish for the nausea back instead.

I couldn't afford to miss a day of school, not really, I just didn't want to be stuck at home without a distraction from my thoughts. But, it was just my luck that even by going to school in the company of a headache, my mind still managed to be all over the place. Especially since the two Advil I had taken before leaving the house kicked in just in time as I pulled into the parking lot.

However, the Advil couldn't stop the next pain I felt. As I looked around the parking lot when I got out of the truck another emotion threw itself at me full force. Unfortunately, said emotional pain didn't have a cure. Well, okay, it did...just not an easy cure. It was a cure that would come with its own side affects.

Not surprising, I was way too much of a coward to handle said cure and it's side affects just yet. I was still mentally preparing myself for the choice I was going to have to make very soon. As Leah had told me the day before...I was going to think about my choice, long and hard.

The silver Volvo that I had come to know all well was parked in it's usual parking spot. Which only meant one thing...Edward was back. And, along with him...the little bit of my sanity that I still had was itching to run away and hide. My guilt was back full force and I had no way to get out of it.

Slowly, I began my walk from my truck to the school building, which just so happened to be close to where Edward was parked, and just so happened to be leaning against the driver's side of his car. I would have no choice but to pass him. And, no matter how much I hoped and prayed that he'd let me walk by without talking to me, I just had this horrible feeling that he would do the exact opposite.

I just hoped I was ready for it.

So, it was to my utter surprise and confusion when my hopes and prayers were answered for once. Edward watched me walk past him, but didn't try to stop me or say anything. I did, however, sense him stepping in line behind me. But, he kept his distance and walked behind me without a word.

**~HM~**

By time Biology class came around, I was more confused than ever. Not once had Edward said a word to me. He followed me, strangely, whenever he could, but that's as far as it went. I was almost expecting him to continue not saying anything when he sat down next to me in his usual seat.

Except, of course, now would be the time he'd talk to me. He broke his silence right before class started. Which, was bad for me because that meant that I was backed into a corner. A corner at a time when and where I didn't have enough time to come up with an excuse to not do what he wanted me to.

"Can you come over after school?" he asked me just as the teacher walked into the classroom, ready to begin class.

"Umm...I...uhh..." I was at a loss for words.

Damn him!

"Bella?"

"Yeah, sure," I answered when the bell finally rang.

Edward smiled at me before turning to face the front of the room.

Damn it!

This day sucked so very badly.

I couldn't wait for it to end.

**~HM~**

Half way through class, I felt my phone vibrate in my front jean pocket. I stealthily pulled it out and checked to see who it was. My heart skipped a couple of beats when I saw that I had a couple of mixed texts and a missed call from Jacob. How had I not felt it before?

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Edward trying to look over my shoulder. I turned my head and glared at him, all the while shielding my phone from his view. I guess some things would never change. Edward was always trying to butt into my own personal business. It was so annoying.

I quickly excused myself from class and grabbed my things once I got the go ahead, making a beeline for the bathroom. I felt surely enough that Edward wasn't that much of a nosy person to actually follow me and stand outside the girls restroom. So, I pulled my cell phone back out and dialed Jacob's number.

"Now you call me back," Jacob answered teasingly.

"Not everyone gets to skip school, Jake," I giggled, rolling my eyes.

He didn't reply at first, but finally settled on a simple, "True."

"So, you called?"

"Yeah, I was wondering what you're up to tonight?"

Cue suddenly jump starting me going into freak out mode.

Uh-oh! I was not looking forward to this right here. What would Jacob say? How would he react? Would he be mad at me? Would he misread this as me choosing Edward again? Oh, please, God! I hope it's not the latter. 'Cause I swear that it's not that way at all. I just had no excuse to use when he asked me earlier. It's Edward fault! He cornered me!)

"Umm...uhh...well..." I stuttered not knowing how to breech the answer.

"Bella," he said, sounding concerned and confused at once.

As always, band aid effect, Bella!

Before I could lose every piece of my confidence, I blurted out without a single breath, "I'mgoingovertoEdward'safterschool!"

Knowing fully well that he had caught every word I said, I wasn't shocked when I heard him growl on the other end of the phone.

"Jacob, please, don't..." I started to say, hoping he wasn't mad about what I just told him.

"It's fine, Bell," he cut me off.

I could hear the lie from a mile away.

"No, it's not, Jake," I protested, pausing to let out a sad sigh. "I'm only going because I had no excuse to give him when he asked me," I explained. "He pretty much backed me into a corner."

"Yeah, okay."

"Jake!" I exclaimed. "Please, don't be like this."

"Be like what? I'm not being like anything," he insisted, defiantly.

"Are you patrolling tonight?" I asked.

"No, I'm not."

"Alright, I'll call you as soon as I get home, then," I said. Moments later, I added, "I promise!"

"I'll hold you to it."

"I wouldn't expect anything less," I smiled for the first time today. "I love you, Jacob," I said, feeling the need to reassure him that me going over to Edward's changed nothing between him and I.

I could hear the grin in his voice and how he suddenly lightened up. "I love you, too, Bells."

**~HM~**

After school, I wanted to follow Edward home in my truck that way I would feel better about having an escape if I needed one. But, of course, Edward insisted he drive me. Despite my protests, I angrily and reluctantly was defeated. Stupid Alice. If it wasn't for her getting involved in the argument, I would have won. I had to hold myself back from blowing up on her yet again...just not out of guilt this time.

And, that is how I now found myself sitting on the bed that Edward had put into his room for me with no means what-so-ever of escape. I was freaking the freak out on the inside. The only thing that kept me from looking on the outside how I felt on the inside was me thinking of how I'd be going to see Jacob later after I found a ride back to my truck.

Maybe I could somehow get Rosalie to take me...after all, now that I was teetering back and forth on the vampire and human path, she seemed to be more accepting of me, for lack of better words to describe how she was towards me. Or maybe I was just looking way too far into that.

"You know how I've been avoiding you recently?" Edward asked, pacing back and forth in front of me, causing me to come back to reality.

"Yeah?" I said in a questioning tone, nodding my head.

Where exactly was this going to end up going?

He stopped pacing in front of me, and looked down at me. "Well, it's because I took a trip to Denali."

"What? Why?" I asked, suddenly actually one hundred percent curious.

"I needed some time to think..." he paused. "Away from you."

I frowned. What the hell was that suppose to mean?

Edward noticed my frown and quickly sat down next to me. "I didn't mean it in a bad way," he said assuringly.

Well, how the hell did he mean it, then?

"Well, then how'd you mean it?" I asked, clearing up my vocabulary.

Edward took one of my hands in his. "I've been thinking lately and I went to Denali to think with a clear head and get some advice some from family friends there."

I raised an eyebrow. "Advice?"

Okay, this is really awkward and weird.

"About what?" I asked, inquisitively.

" About how you've been distant the past month and how to fix the distance between us."

I adverted my gaze and looked down at the floor, offering a small, almost inaudible, "Oh."

"And, I've got an idea that I'm sure will get us back to where we use to be."

I could hear the smile in his voice, all of a sudden.

Get us back to where we used to be? How would that even be possible? To do that, I'd have to invent a time machine and go back into time and not get involved in the BFWB relationship with Jacob. But, even if I could, I wouldn't do that. I couldn't do that. Maybe before when I wasn't sure if I really loved Jacob or not. But, not now that I knew that I, in fact, did love him, and even told him that out loud.

With that being thought, I snapped my head up to look at Edward, confused and curious,and asked point blank, "Where exactly are you going with this, Edward?"

"Bella, my love," Edward stood up and looked down at me. "I know you're being distant because I can't give you the one thing you want the most," he said, jumping to assumptions.

Well, correction...not that I'd ever say it out loud to him. Yeah, I've been distant. But, for the opposite reason than what he was thinking. I was being distant because I _**was** _ getting the one thing that my horny teenage self wanted the most. Not because he wasn't giving it too me.

My heart started to speed up out of panic, but I hoped and prayed that Edward would get the wrong impression based on it. I was relieved when it seemed that he did because he didn't question what the reason for my heart speeding up was. Instead, he just continued with whatever he was planning to do or say.

"Bella, my love..." Edward said kneeling down on one knee.

My eyes widened.

Oh god. What the hell was he doing? No, no, no! This isn't good. No, not at all!

Edward pulled out a ring box, opened it, and held it out to me, smiling and asking, "Will you please marry me, my love?"

I know most girls usually react all happy and ecstatic and all, but really all I could think was...

Oh fuck me running and twice on Monday!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How's that for forcing Bella to make a choice?! ;)
> 
> I don't know what possessed me to end the chapter with that line, but I can't bring myself to change it. So, yep, umm...it stays. lol.
> 
> So, now you know why Edward was avoiding Bella. He was trying to decide on a way to hopefully reel her back to him. And, it's such an Edward thing to do...thinking marriage would bring her back to him. If only he knew. *sigh* So, what do you think? Will she say yes? Will she say no? Who knows?


	21. Chapter 20 - I'm acting just like a misfit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, the time has finally come! Wait no more! Bella's choice is here! Yes for Edward. No for Jacob. Hmm...who will it be?
> 
> Warning: Still no sexual content, but possibly some cursing. Turn back now if you think/know it'll offend you in some way.

"Bella, are you okay?" Edward asked, concerned when I didn't answer right away.

This situation was pure hell...the tears suddenly falling from my eyes were proof.

"I...I'm...sor...sorry," was all I managed to get out.

Edward looked thoroughly confused. "Bella, why are you crying?"

I shook my head frantically, trying to find my words, but nothing came out.

"Bella, love, what's wrong?" Edward asked closing the ring box and putting it back in his pocket.

I couldn't answer even if I tried just yet.

"Bella?" Edward sat down next to me and pulled me close.

I was too much of an emotional wreck to try and stop him at that point.

As soon as Edward had asked me to marry him something in my head clicked instantly. It was right then and there, the feeling of it being all wrong...this wasn't right. It wasn't right because my heart, wholly and solely, belonged to someone else. It always had. It always would. I was just too blind to see it for everything that it was before now.

It explained everything. It explained why I was so eager to jump into the BFWB relationship with Jacob...it was because my mind, for the most part, and body, ever since the first time I was with Jacob, knew all along who I really wanted and needed. My heart just needed more of a push in the right direction. And, it was finally all for the one person that it truly belonged to...Jacob Black.

But, how could I possibly break that to Edward?

My mind and body were both debating between the fight or [flight](http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9464003/21/Hot-Mess) response. And, obviously, I couldn't tell him everything. Not just yet, anyways. I was not in the right mind to confess everything right then. That meant that the fight response was out of the question. So, I would have to go with the flight response.

In an instant, I pushed Edward away and jumped up from the bed.

"I...I can't!" I cried, turning and bolting out of the room.

I wasn't sure where exactly I was going since my truck was still parked at the school. But, I did know that I just couldn't stay there. I had to get out. I needed air. I would walk the long walk back to my truck if I had to. I just needed to go. That's all that I could think about. Getting out. Being free. Running for the hills and never looking back.

I quickly ran down the stairs, more than just a little surprised that I didn't end up tripping, falling, and busting my head open or something, passing Rosalie along the way. I was intent on running out of the house. But, before I could, I felt a cold hand on my arm, stopping me before I could.

Wiping the tears that were blocking up my vision, I slowly turned around to come face to face with Rosalie.

"You made the right choice," she said with a small smile.

I nodded and somehow managed a small smile in return, even with the tears still coming out of my eyes. I turned to once again make my way outside, but stopped in my tracks when I remembered my earlier thoughts on an escape. Maybe Rosalie would help me out. Well, it's worth a shot.

I turned back around to find Rosalie almost at the top of the stairs now.

"Hey, Rose," I called after her.

She paused and turned her body halfway so that she could look down at me. "Yeah?"

"I have no way of getting back to my truck," I said, taking a deep breath.

Alright, here goes nothing.

"Do you think you could drive me home please?" I asked her, crossing my fingers behind my back, with a hint of hope in my voice.

Rosalie didn't answer at first, and I almost turned away taking it as a no. But, then she nodded and said, "Of course."

I sighed a breath of relief and felt myself relax just slightly.

Thank God for Rosalie!

"Let me just grab my keys," she spoke before disappearing up the stairs.

Just as Rosalie was out of sight, Edward came down the stairs.

The calmness that I felt moments before was gone just as fast as it had come over me.

"Bella, what's..." Edward started, looking concerned and confused, as he stared at me.

And, cue the tears returning as well.

"Please, don't, Edward," I practically begged, turning my head away from him. "I can't. Not now."

The guilt was taking over and as much as I wanted to just break down and admit everything right then and there...I knew that I couldn't form anymore words than a few at a time that had absolutely nothing to do with the truth. Plus, I was still in no condition to tell the whole truth. I was too busy trying to fight for breath.

Edward reached forward to place a hand on one of my shoulder, but I shrugged it off.

"Bella, why are you..." he started, shocked by how I was acting.

Thankfully, Rosalie returned right at that moment and cut him off, "Not now, Edward. Can't you see that the poor girl's about to have a panic attack," she said in a slight scolding tone.

She just about shocked the daylight out of me when I felt her put an arm around me, helping to keep me standing up right.

"Just leave it be for now. You can talk to her tomorrow sometime when she's not freaking out," Rosalie said before she lead me out to her car.

Not once did I look back at Edward. I wasn't sure if I'd be able to handle whatever look he had on his face if I did.

**~HM~**

The first half of the drive was spent in complete and total silence. It pretty much took me that long to stop crying and get my breathing back to normal. Everything that had been going on the past month was taking it's toll on me. It was awful. And, now that I said no to Edward's proposal and realized that I love Jacob more...the calm before the storm was sure to almost be over and the actual storm was quickly approaching.

I was not ready for the storm at all. Quite frankly, I don't think I'd ever be truly ready for it. However, I knew when all of this first started that it would sooner or later come to fruition. I just tried to pretend like it'd be later rather than sooner. But, of course, it came sooner because I was never that lucky to get what I hoped for, nine times out of ten. Therefore, everything had finally blown up in my face, and the aftermath would not be fun to deal with.

I was brought back to the present when I heard Rosalie break the silence in the car.

"So, I take it you chose the mu...Jacob?" she asked as less of a question and more of a fact checker.

I nodded my head, looking over at her to see how she'd react.

Her facial expression didn't change at all.

"I just...it's just..." I couldn't think of the right words to use.

"You can't live without him?" Rosalie suggested filling in the blanks for me.

"Yeah, exactly," I agreed, shocked that Rosalie filled the blanks in so well. "How..." I started to ask.

She turned her head to look at me and smiled a sincere smile. "I can see it in your eyes," she confessed. "Actually, everyone can in one way or another...they would just prefer to pretend that they can't because it makes it seem less real that way."

"Oh."

"I'm going to ask you something, and I want you to be completely honest with me and tell me if I'm wrong or not, okay?" Rosalie asked.

I nodded my head, unable to bring myself to do anything else.

I would have never in a million years expected that I'd be having an actual conversation with Rosalie. Let alone, about me. And Jacob? Wow! If I wasn't so surprised and dumbfounded, I'd be thinking I was hallucinating and imagining things because the Rosalie I was talking to now was not even close to the Rosalie that I thought she was. Apparently, this just went to prove that judging a book by it's cover isn't the right thing to do.

"When we first all returned to Forks and you chose Edward over Jacob..." Rosalie paused.

Okay, where was she going with this?

"You weren't completely happy with your choice were you?" she asked.

At first, I wasn't sure how to answer. But, then I remembered her previous words. Alright, she wanted honesty. That's what I'd give her.

"No," I answered quietly.

"I thought so."

"How did you know?" I asked.

"I put two and two together."

"How so?"

"When I first found out about you and Jacob, I could see the change in you," she answered almost cryptically.

I raised an eyebrow in confusion. "What do you mean the change in me?"

Rosalie looked back at the road and answered, "Before when we first came back to Forks and you chose Edward, causing Jacob to start avoiding you, I could tell that you were practically living on autopilot. You acted all happy and content with having Edward back on the outside, but there was something different about you. For whatever reason, the others either couldn't see what I saw or they did and just ignored it..."

"Saw what?" I asked cutting her off.

"You were broken," she answered honestly. "It was like a part of you was missing."

So, as it turns out, I didn't cover it up as well as I had thought I did.

"But, then about a month ago, you changed and were back to the happy, unbroken girl."

I take it this is the part where she found out about me and Jacob.

"And, then I saw you and Jacob," she confirmed my suspicions. "I put two and two together and realized that he was what was missing. You may not have seen it until just now, but it was easy to tell that you'd come around sooner or later and realize that you can and will live without Edward. But, living without Jacob..." she trailed off.

"I can't and won't," I finished for her.

She nodded. "Exactly."

After that the rest of the drive was once again in complete and total silence, which was actually a good thing. I had a lot to think about after everything I had just heard. It was quite a bit to process. By time everything clicked perfectly in my mind, we were at the school. Rosalie pulled into the parking lot and parked next to my truck.

"Thanks for the ride, Rose," I smiled at her.

"You're welcome," she replied. "And, thanks for choosing to remain human."

I nodded and smiled. "If you want you can live vicariously as a human through me," I suggested with a hint of joking in my voice.

What Rosalie did next shocked me yet again. She laughed. She actually laughed. At something I said. Wow! Today was a day of firsts,

"I might just take you up on that."

"You should. It's at least something," I said, opening the door and getting out. "Hey, Rose?"

"Yes, Bella?" she asked looked at me.

"Can you keep Edward away until Monday, please?"

She shook her head. "I can," she answered. "But, are you sure you want to wait that long to talk to him?"

"Yes," I said without hesitation. "I need to find some way to tell Jacob about everything first," I told her. "Otherwise, if he hears something from Edward or someone else somehow..." I trailed off as I let the fear from my own words sink in. "It might make a mess of things."

Rosalie nodded her head, a look of understanding in her eyes, as she agreed, "Alright."

"Thanks, Rose! You're truly a Godsend right about now!"

"You're welcome."

I closed the door and walked over to my truck.

**~HM~**

Pulling into the driveway, I quickly parked my truck, turned it off, and got out. I was exhausted after the events of earlier and just wanted to go take a shower and sleep, forgetting that this whole day happened. Then, tomorrow I could think of how to tell Jacob what happened. No, wait, I should get that over with tonight. Well, at least think of a way to tell him. That way the only thing left tomorrow would be actually telling him.

Just as I started walking up the walkway to the house, I caught sight of a person standing in the middle of the walkway.

_Third time's a charm..._

I didn't even get the chance to talk.

"So, I hear you went to the lee..." Leah started to say.

I glared at her.

Leah smirked, but corrected herself, anyways, "The Cullen's house."

I nodded and frowned as I replied, "I did, but I'd rather not talk about it."

All I wanted was to go shower, think of how to tell Jacob, and then go to bed. Talking to Leah had not been in my plans for the night.

"Something happen?" she asked, giving me a knowing look.

"Yes, but I don't want to talk about it," I repeated again.

"Swan..." she said in a warning like tone of voice.

"Clearwater..." I bit back for once.

Leah laughed. "You're different. You've actually got bite now," she grinned proudly. "Your Rated R time with Jacob must be doing something for you."

My eyes widened, but I didn't try to deny it. "I'm going inside," I said quickly, pushing past Leah and running up the walkway, tripping on the first step on my way up the porch stairs.

Lucky for me, Leah caught me before I face planted.

"Careful there, Swan," she chuckled.

"Thanks," I said, standing up straight. "Bye."

More careful this time, I managed to get up the stairs and into the house in one piece.

**~HM~**

For the rest of the night and part of Saturday, I ended up keeping to myself still trying to fully process everything that happened and what I learned and realized in less than 24 hours. Plus, I still wasn't sure how to tell Jacob everything as well as admit that Edward proposed to me. 'Cause I just knew that Jacob wouldn't take that last part very well.

After a whole night and half a day of thinking, I finally came to the conclusion that if I told Jacob about the proposal in a public place, then there would be less of a chance that he'd get overly angry and phase right then and there. That conclusion ended up leading me to deciding that I'd call him and see if we could go out together.

It could possibly be counted as a date...or just best friends hanging out. Either, or.

Pacing back and forth in my bedroom, I dialed Jacob's number and nervously waited for him to answer.

"You didn't call me last night," was the first thing he said when he picked up.

"I know, and I'm sorry. I really am," I apologized, sincerely. "I just...it's just..."

Yeah, okay, let's not get into that right now.

"Are you free tonight?" I asked him, getting back to the reason I actually called.

"No, not that I'm aware of. Why?"

"Well, I was thinking that maybe we could go out or something?"

Okay, this is just weird. Isn't the guy usually the one asking the girl out? Well, I guess, in this situation it's not as awkward? Right? Or is it?

"Like on a date?" Jacob asked, confused.

"Oh, umm...well, no...not exactly," I answered.

Right?

"I was thinking more like just best friends having dinner and hanging out."

I guess.

There was a moment of silence on Jacob's end before he finally said, "Oh, okay, then. Sure, sure."

I could hear the disappointment in his voice and silently cursed myself for saying that last part. "So, pick me up at sevenish tonight?" I suggested.

"Yeah, okay. Sounds good."

"I love you, Jake," I smiled as I realized how much I would love saying that phrase over and over again from now on.

"Love you, too, Bells."

We both hung up at once and I was overrun by nerves when it all sank in. I may have said we'd go out and hang out as best friends, but I couldn't help but feel like it would definitely be more than that.

Oh, yes, definitely cue the nerves.


	22. Chapter 21 - You're making me irresponsible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, without too much further ado, the chapter you've all been waiting for! Bella tells Jacob everything! And, I must say...I had a lot of fun writing Jacob's reaction! As well as Jacob and Bella's after dinner fun time! I was laughing so hard that I practically had tears coming out of my eyes. Hope you like it!
> 
> Warning: Sexual content, mentions of trespassing, and cursing in this chapter. Turn back now if you think/know it'll offend you in some way.

Back and forth.

Around in a circle.

From one end of the room to the other.

I was pacing all over my bedroom, a nervous wreck.

Usually, I wasn't the nervous type. Alright, okay. That's a lie. Really I was the nervous type in situations like the one I was in now. But, not when I was going to hang out with Jacob. I guess this was different though since I planned on telling Jacob everything tonight. By everything, I meant _everything._  I wasn't going to hold anything back. I had done that long enough now, and it was time to put an end to it once and for all.

After a few more minutes of pacing, I finally got myself together and calmed down. I went about picking out my outfit for the night. Another thing that I usually wasn't so big on. But, I wanted everything to be different tonight. It felt like tonight was going to be a special night for us both. And, weirdly enough, I wanted everything to be perfect...not that perfect exists. But, still. Every once in a while wishing for perfect was okay, right?

Digging through my closet, I settled on a bluish grey singlet top with a bow that was centered in the middle of where the V ended between my cleavage. I paired it off with black skinny jeans, something I only wore on very special occasions. I finished the outfit off with a pair of [grey ugg boots](http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9464003/22/Hot-Mess). Lastly, I put my hair in a high ponytail and applied just a hint of lip gloss. I wasn't big on make up so lip gloss was as much as I was willing to wear.

Then, I returned to being nervous with nothing to distract me anymore.

I was in the midst of my pacing when out of the corner of my eye, I saw something. Better yet, someone coming through I window. I hadn't been expecting someone, so it took me off guard. But, before I could do anything or scream like I was itching to do, I realized who it was.

"Relax, Swan. It's just me," Leah laughed obviously having heard my accelerated heartbeat.

I ignored her and continued my pacing, not caring that I was probably giving away my nervousness.

Leah gave me a questioning look. "You okay, Swan?" she asked, frowning slightly. "You look like you're about to jump out of your skin."

"What? No, I'm fine," I lied poorly, continuing my pacing. "Everything's fine."

"Yeah, and I'm not a shape-shifting wolf," Leah scoffed, rolling her eyes.

Before I could think otherwise, I stopped pacing, turned to Leah, and blurted out, "Edward proposed to me!"

Then, once I realized what I'd just said, I quickly slapped a hand over my mouth and looked anywhere but at Leah.

For once, I was shocked and surprised to find that Leah was shocked into silence.

An awkward silence took over between us.

"The leech proposed to you?" she asked through gritted teeth after a while.

I nodded my head, speechless, as tears started to well up in my eyes.

"What was your answer?"

Through my tears I managed to repeat my answer from earlier, verbatim, and then some, "I'm sorry. I can't. Followed by me running out of the room and just about having a panic attack."

Leah was silent as she processed everything I was telling her.

I walked over and sat down on my bed. "I have to tell Jacob," I said quietly, looking down at the floor. "But, I'm afraid of how he'll react."

"Why'd you say no?" Leah questioned, moving to stand in front of me, and crossing her arms. "You were so sure before that you were in love with him and wanted to spend an eternity with him," she reminded me. "What changed?"

"You know what changed," I spoke in a whisper.

"Say it," she demanded.

Was she seriously going to make me say it out loud?

"Say it," she repeated.

I guess so.

"I...I..." I stuttered.

Why couldn't I say it out loud? I mean, I had already admitted it to myself. So, why couldn't I say it? Unless, maybe, deep down I wanted to say it to Jacob first. Yeah, that's probably it. No, that's most definitely it.

Leah moved closer to me, and hissed through clenched teeth, "Say it out loud, Swan!"

But, if it would get her off my back, then Jacob hearing it second wouldn't be the worst thing in the world.

I lifted my head, tears ceasing immediately, and looked Leah dead in the eyes.

"I'm in love with Jacob," I admitted out loud for the first time ever.

**~HM~**

Leah stayed with me, upon my request to keep me distracted, until Jacob arrived. By time he arrived, all of my nerves were yesterday's news. For the time being, anyways. I was sure they'd be back when I was ready to tell him what happened. But, for now, they were hidden away and I wasn't going to take that fact for granted, by any means.

With my nerves out of the way, and replaced by excitement, Jacob barely made it halfway through the front door before I threw myself at him. Leah already knew everything, if not more, that there was to know about Jacob and I, so I didn't really care that she was still there. Not caring about anything or anyone else, I threw my arms around his neck and wrapped my legs around his waist.

Jacob looked at me with surprise written all over his face and opened his mouth to say something.

But, I didn't give him the chance. I pressed my lips against his silencing him.

"I'm just gonna go," Leah chuckled, reminding me that she was there, as she walked past us and out the door.

I was too preoccupied and reluctant to pull away to say anything back to her, so I didn't.

I'm not sure how many minutes or maybe even hours passed before I finally forced myself to back off. I reluctantly lowered my feet to the ground and stood up to where I had to tilt my head up to look at him. I smiled brightly, and tried not to laugh at how kiss swollen his lips were.

"I take it you missed me?" Jacob laughed, looking down at me with the smile that I had dubbed  _my_ smile a long time ago.

"Always," I admitted, grinning from ear to ear.

"That's good," he smiled, leaning down and pressing his lips back to mine. "Because I always miss you, too."

I smiled against his lips and gave him a peck before pulling away.

"Alright, let's get going," I said, moving around him to lock the front door so I wouldn't forget.

I was half way out the door when I realized he wasn't following me. I stopped and turned around looking at him curiously. The sight I saw almost made me melt into a pile of goo on the floor. He was full on pouting, and as corny as it may sound, it was by far the cutest thing I'd ever seen.

"What's wrong with you?" I asked, crossing my arms over my chest.

He didn't reply, just pouted even more.

I couldn't stop myself from laughing when I put two and two together and realized what he was being a sourpuss about all of a sudden.

"You never know where the night might lead," I winked at him before turning to walk out the door, knowing that he was following me with a smile this time.

**~HM~**

About an hour and a half later, after an inexpensive, yet perfect dinner as best friends, I decided that then was as good a time as any other would be. The sooner I told Jacob everything, the sooner I could focus on other less nerve wracking things. Like moving on...although, I still had to break up with Edward...so, yeah after that I could completely focus on moving on to other less nerve wracking things.

I was just about to speak up when Jacob beat me to it.

"So, what is it that you have to or want to tell me?" he asked, leaning back in his chair.

"How..." I started to ask, but trailed off.

"Leah mentioned you seemed on edge about something when she saw you last night."

Of course, she did.

"Then, when you didn't call me like you said you would, I figured she must have been right."

Damn! I knew I should have called, anyways. But, I was afraid that he'd figure out that something was wrong by the sound of my voice.

"And, when you called me earlier today to set up a "date" I knew without a doubt that something is on your mind."

He really does know me so well.

"Yes, right, and correct."

"Okay, so what's wrong?" he asked, concern evident in his voice, as he leaned forward and put one of his hands on top of mine.

I took a deep breath, and looked over at him.

"Well..." I trailed off.

"Well, what?"

"Promise you won't lose it," I said, biting my lower lip until it bled, as nervous as can be.

Jacob looked confused. "Why would I lose it?"

I sighed. "Just trust me...I have a feeling you'll probably wanna lose it," I answered, hating that I was going to tell him this, but I didn't want him over hearing it some other way from someone other than me. "So, just promise me, you'll keep it together."

He was hesitant, but nodded his head. "Promise."

"Alright," I said, taking a deep breath.

Here goes nothing.

"So, as you know, I went to Edward's after school," I said, starting off slowly instead of just blurting it out like I did to Leah earlier.

Jacob frowned. "Yeah," he growled, but not in the growl that I was use to hearing from him.

"Okay, well, I...more or less...made my decision," I whispered looking down at the table. "Or better yet, was put in a situation where I had no choice but to," I followed up with quickly before Jacob could take it the wrong way.

I felt Jacob's grip on the top of my hand tighten.

"I chose you, Jake," I said immediately, and his grip loosened.

He looked at me like he had just seen a ghost.

It took him a few minutes to get his bearings together and finally speak again.

"You...you chose me?" he asked as if he didn't believe what I'd said.

I nodded.

"You actually chose me?"

I nodded again and smiled brightly at him.

Before I could even process what was happening, Jacob was up and out of his seat, pulling me up with him. The air was almost literally squeezed out of me when I found myself in one of Jacob's infamous bear hugs. If only I could breath, I would've been laughing like someone who'd been exposed to laughing gas.

"SHE CHOSE ME!"

Jacob's voice carried all through out the little restaurant we were at as he spun us around, not seeming to care about all the looks he was getting.

When he finally let me down, and I got my breathing back to normal, I was finally able to laugh at his unexpected, yet so Jacob reaction.

The whole restaurant's attention was on us, or more so him, and he was too happy to care.

He shrugged his shoulders, looking at all of them, and grinned, "She finally chose me!"

Then, he sat down and acted like none of the past minute or so hadn't happened, and I couldn't help but laugh harder.

Oh, Jacob.  _My Jacob_.

A few minutes past before I finally settled down and was able to breath and not cry from laughing so hard anymore. I wiped the happy, laughing tears from my eyes and looked at Jacob who was grinning back at me, his arms folded across his chest. I shook my head and laughed just a little more.

"Well, that was quite the victory celebration," I teased, realizing I was wrong in thinking that I had no laughing tears left.

I wiped my eyes again.

"It was a long time coming," Jacob smiled, shrugging his shoulders nonchalantly.

I nodded my head. "Agreed."

"Does this mean that we no longer have to hide us from everyone?" Jacob asked.

I shook my head and the mood was suddenly serious again. With all the happiness, I had completely forgot that I hadn't told Jacob about the proposal yet.

"We still have to keep it a secret," I said quickly.

"But, you chose me?"

I nodded."

"Why are we still keeping this a secret, then?" he asked, confused.

"Because I haven't told Edward yet," I admitted.

"Why not?" he asked, frowning. "I thought you said you decided earlier when you went to see him?"

"I did," I confirmed.

"Then, how does Edward not know?"

"Because I freaked out and left without telling him," I confessed, bracing myself for what I was about to end up telling him.

"Freaked out? Why?"

"Because...umm...well...he umm..."

Alright, Bella. Just spit it out. Go for it.

"Spit it out, Bella," Jacob said, through clenched teeth.

Go with the now famous band-aid effect, Bella!

"He sort of proposed," I whispered.

Jacob growled, the not so familiar growl again, and I swear I could feel the table start to shake.

"But, of course, I said no!" I exclaimed trying to calm him down. "Beause you're the one I'm in love with not him," I told him, knowing that it would more than likely do exactly what I was trying to accomplish.

I was proven right when he abruptly calmed down.

I sighed a much needed sigh of relief.

"To think just a week ago you were mad at me when you thought I was going to make you choose right then. And, as it turns out it was  _him_  who unknowingly made you choose," Jacob laughed.

I glared at him.

"Hey, either I get mad or I make jokes, Bells. Your choice. But, you can't not have either."

I rolled my eyes and shook my head, but didn't answer.

"I thought so. Joking it is," Jacob winked at me.

**~HM~**

"I don't want to go home yet," I whined, putting on my best puppy dog expression. "I mean, it's only ten on a Saturday night for crying out loud!"

"I never said anything about taking you home yet," Jacob chuckled, turning his head to look at me. "And, remind me not to ever let you eat a whole chocolate fudge sundae on your own ever again."

I rolled my eyes and fake glared at him, sticking my tongue out. "Haha!" I said sarcastically. "It was really good."

"Yeah, in more ways than one."

"What's that suppose to mean?"

Jacob chuckled, answering my question along with a roll of his eyes, "In case you haven't noticed, you're extremely hyper."

I shrugged my shoulders. "It's not often that I eat chocolate, so I completely forgot too much of it made me hyper."

"Well, I know for future references now to keep track of your chocolate consumption."

I scoffed. "Yeah, I'd like to see you try," I challenged.

"You're on."

"I'll win."

"How can you be so sure?" Jacob asked, raising an eyebrow.

I winked at him. "I've got my ways," I said, wiggling my eyebrows, before taking off down the sidewalk.

"Hey! That's not fair!" he called after me.

"Life's not fair!" I called back, laughing.

"Where are you going?!"

"I don't know! It's a Saturday night!" I answered as I changed from running to skipping.

It was so nice to be able to act like a kid again at times. Speaking of being a kid...I suddenly stopped abruptly and turned to my left.

"What is it?" Jacob asked once he caught up to me.

"Want to play?" I questioned, cheerfully.

Jacob looked at me with a confused expression. "Play?"

"Yep!" I grinned, nodding at what I was looking at.

Jacob turned to look at what I was looking at.

"Seriously, Bells?" he asked followed by a chuckle.

"Why not?" I questioned, looking around. "No one is around to see us?"

Jacob looked like he was going to protest at first, but finally he sighed and gave in. "Fine."

"Yay!" I exclaimed running through the opening in the fence. "You can push me on the swings!" I giggled making a beeline for the swing set that was placed in the middle of a grassy area.

"So, I'm in love with a kid?" Jacob called after me.

I stopped and turned to look at him. "You have a problem with that?"

He shook his head. "No, not at all.

"Well, then, what difference does it make?"

"None, I guess."

"So, just be happy, then!" I smiled. "And, come push me on the swing!"

Jacob shook his head and laughed but walked towards me, anyways. "Only if we can do what I want to do next."

"Alright, anything you want," I replied.

"Anything?"

"Well, almost anything," I corrected, glaring a mock glare at him.

"I've already got something in mind," he smirked.

"Will I regret this?" I asked him, feeling slightly scared of whatever he had in mind.

He shrugged. "Maybe, maybe not."

Damn!

What exactly did I just get myself into.

**~HM~**

"This isn't legal, Jacob!" I exclaimed, about an hour later.

"Oh, and playing on the playground at night was?" Jacob scoffed at me.

I turned to him and frowned, crossing my arms over my chest. "There wasn't a "No Trespassing" sign, nor was there a closed and locked gate," I said defensively. "Unlike there is here," I pointed out, eyeing the locked gate which had a "No Trespassing" sign hung on it.

"Oh, come on, Bella. Live a little. It's no fun doing everything by the law all the time," Jacob said, trying to coax me into it. "Besides, there's no one else around to see us," he smirked, using my earlier excuse on me.

"Hey! You can't use my excuse on me!" I scolded.

"Just did," he laughed.

"Ass!"

"Your ass."

I glared at him, almost completely for real this time. I kept my arms crossed and shook my head.

"You said anything, Bella," he reminded me, reaching a hand out to me. "I did what you wanted. Now it's your turn to do what I wanted. Fair is fair."

I huffed, but reluctantly relented anyways. "Fine, but if we get caught..."

Jacob rolled his eyes. "I'll say I forced you to go along with it."

"You better because even if you didn't, I'd say you did," I told him, sternly, reaching my hand out and putting it in his.

"I'm sure you would," he laughed, moving me in front of him and then placing his hands on my waist, lifting me up and over the fence.

I didn't have to do anything. Therefore, I didn't have to worry about almost face planting on the concrete.

Once, I was safely two feet on the ground, I moved out of the way so that Jacob could get over.

"Alright, so how are we..." I started, but didn't get to finish as I felt his hands on my waist once again.

Before I could ask him what the hell he was doing or come up with a protest, I was flying airborne and screaming like a girl being attacked or something. It's a good thing there weren't any houses near by or else we would've definitely been caught red handed and trespassing.

The next thing I knew, I was gasping for air and breaking the surface of the water.

"You ass!" I exclaimed, wiping the water from my eyes, but barely managing to help myself much.

Jacob just laughed and then I heard a splash as he joined me in the pool.

"I hate you right now," I told him when he came up from under water and was right in front of me.

"But, you love me," he winked, pulling me in for a kiss.

I turned my head just in time for him to kiss my cheek instead.

"That is now up for negotiation," I told him in the most serious tone I could muster, pouting.

Jacob opened his mouth to reply, but before he could I felt something small touch the back of my leg and shrieked.

"Oh my god!"

"What?" Jacob asked, shocked by my sudden outburst.

I moved from where I was quickly. "I think something touched my leg!"

Jacob shook his head and shrugged as if it wasn't a big deal. "I'm sure it was nothing."

"How can you be so sure?" I asked not believing him for a minute. I know what I felt. And, it surely wasn't nothing.

"This is a pool, Bella," he said as if I didn't already know it. "Not the ocean."

"And, your point being?"

"My point being there's nothing in this pool but us."

"Then what touched my leg?"

"I don't know," he said. "A bug?" he guessed.

I slapped his arm. "See! You just admitted there is something else in here with us!"

Then, his words processed in my head.

My eyes widened and I asked, trying to keep my cool, "There's a bug that can swim?!"

"I'd assume so."

"Umm...uhh..."

A swimming bug? Oh god!

Jacob raised an eyebrow and looked an me incredulously. "Serious, Bella?" he asked in a "you have to be kidding" tone of voice. Wolves and vampires you can deal with, but a bug..."

I quickly cut him off and corrected him, "A bug that swims."

Jacob rolled his eyes and laughed.

I crossed my arms and glared at him. "It's not funny," I hissed.

"Yeah, it kind of is."

"Ass!" I yelled at him.

Jacob moved closer to me, and wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me closer to him. "But, I'm your ass."

"Yeah, unfortunately," I said acting fake annoyed.

"Aw, did I hurt my Bella's feelings?"

I fake pouted and nodded my head. "Yes, you did."

"Would a kiss make you feel better?" he asked, leaning his head closer to me.

I pretended to be deep in thought and then got an evil idea. I nodded. "That would work."

Jacob grinned and moved in even closer.

As soon as Jacob moved in to kiss me I grinned, pulled away, and placed my hands on top of his head, ducking him under water.

Take that Black!

Instead of coming back up, I felt Jacob grab onto my legs and pull.

I just managed to take a deep breath when he pulled me under with him.

Well, that seemed to have backfired on me.

**~HM~**

By time Jacob finally got me home it was going on midnight. He pulled into the driveway, leaving the car running, which I didn't like very much, but I knew he couldn't stay parked here all night. Neither of us wanted to chance being caught. We had gotten, for the most part, smarter after already getting caught twice before.

"My window will be unlocked," I said leaning over the console.

"What about Charlie?" he asked cautiously.

I leaned closed until our lips were almost touching. "He got called into work earlier to help with some case in the next town over or something like that. He said he probably wouldn't be home until one or so," I answered him. "I have a feeling you'll be gone before he gets back," I smiled against his lips. "We can make it quick, right?" I asked, batting my eyelashes at him.

Jacob nodded and answered without hesitation, "Definitely."

"Great," I grinned pressing our lips together for a moment before pulling away.

"Give me about five minutes to park the car down the street and I'll be up."

I licked my lips and quickly got out of the car. "I'll be waiting," I breathed seductively, closing the car door and running up to the house.

Oh, how I couldn't wait for five minutes to pass.

**~HM~**

Exactly five minutes later, just like he said he would, Jacob came through my window. I barely gave him time to stand up straight before I was on him like a predator was on their prey. But, my excuse was that we had to hurry. Oh, yeah, and well it had been a couple of days since we had last been time to be intimate. And, to say that I was craving to have him in me again would be a complete and total understatement.

By now, our clothes were dry enough that they were easy enough to get off. Although, my skinny jeans proved to be the most difficult. They were so difficult that I almost let Jacob rip them off. But, then thought better of it since I did like them and didn't want to have to go out and find another. So, it was a relief when he finally managed to get them off of me without the need to rip them.

In a hurry, I grabbed a condom out of my bedside table drawer and ripped it open with my teeth, handing it to him. As I waited for him to put it on, I ended up getting caught up in my thoughts. But, I didn't stay caught up in them for too terribly long because the next thing I knew, I felt Jacob's hands tightly grip my hips and lift me up. Then, moments later I was being placed at an antagonizing, slow pace onto his fully erect member.

One would think with how many times we'd done this that I'd be use to it by now. But, nope. Not even close. Each and every time it felt new, like it was the first time. But, that was a good thing because that meant it would never get old.

Just as I was seated fully on him, with a sigh of relief at being filled, I heard someone say my name.

"Bella."

But, I quickly realized that it wasn't Jacob saying my name.

Oh, shit!

Jacob and I both froze instantly staring at each other with wide eyes.

"We've been made! Abort! Abort!" I exclaimed quietly, out of nowhere, climbing off of him quickly.

In other situations, my random out burst would've had both Jacob and I on the ground laughing our asses off. But, this was a different situation. A worse situation.

Then the door opened.

Well, it was nice knowing you Jacob Black because your minutes left in this world are now numbered.

Damn it, anyways!

They do say that the third time's the charm, right?

Just not always for the better...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is back to the present.


	23. Chapter 22 - 'Cause I just wanna be with you...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And, here it is! The moment you've been waiting for since the Prologue...who's the mystery person who caught them?! Well, some, if not most of you guessed it! Hope you enjoy the chapter!
> 
> Warning: No sexual content, but possible cursing. Turn back now if you think/know it'll offend you in some way.

In the midst of our rush to get away from each other, we both ended up rolling over and falling onto the floor. It was quite painful for me since somehow Jacob ended up falling on top of me, and well he's not exactly the lightest person in this equation. But, at the same time, it worked out because at least this way no one was going to get a view of something they could never get out of their heads anytime soon.

"Bells, is everything okay? I thought I heard..." he trailed off as he looked around the room where Jacob and I's clothes were thrown carelessly all over.

"Oh god!" I exclaimed sitting up along with Jacob so only our heads were shown over my bed.

When he turned his attention to us, I swear I could see smoke coming out of his ears. He was fuming. "You have five seconds before I go get my gun!" he threatened.

"Dad, no!" I yelled, my eyes wide, embarrassment taking the back [burner](http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9464003/23/Hot-Mess) for the moment.

Charlie looked from me to Jacob and then back to me. "Dressed and downstairs!" he ordered. "You've got two minutes! Or I come back up and my gun will be with me!" he hissed, turning and storming out of the room, slamming the door shut behind him.

I was surprised that the door didn't crumble or fall off it's hinges.

Jacob and I looked at each other, and I was shocked to find that even Jacob, the almighty one day alpha, had a look of fear in his eyes.

"Oh, shit!" we both exclaimed as we jumped up and started running around, grabbing our clothes from wherever we had thrown them all.

"How did he..." Jacob let his question trail off as he quickly got dressed.

Thank god we had come here from dinner, so he had a shirt with him.

Knowing what he was asking without him finishing his question, I looked around and only then noticed that during our throes of passion, we accidentally knocked over the lamp on my [bedside table](http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9464003/23/Hot-Mess). Well, that explained what Charlie thought he heard. Of course, it also explained what got us caught.

"We're dead, you know?" I said just for the sake of saying something because the silence was currently freaking me out even more than knowing my dad was angrily waiting for us downstairs.

"Yeah, I know."

"Well, it was nice knowing you while it lasted," I sighed, fixing my clothes and my ponytail.

Jacob nodded in agreement. "Same with you."

"Alright, well..." I looked at Jacob with a sad expression on my face. "Time to go face the music."

"Yeah."

"Love you," I said, leaning forward to give him one last kiss.

"Love you, too," he replied, kissing me back.

Both of us took deep breaths before heading downstairs to face whatever doom awaited us.

**~HM~**

"I thought you wouldn't be home until one or so," I said walking down the stairs with Jacob trailing close behind me.

I was silently, and knowingly failing, hoping that I could somehow distract Charlie from what he caught Jacob and I doing just minutes before. But, of course, I wasn't that lucky. He'd remember. Definitely so. After all, don't dads always for the most part remember the bad things more so than good things?

Charlie frowned at me, and crossed his arms over his chest. "I got home a little early."

"Oh," was all I could think to reply with.

We stood there at the bottom of the stairs in an awkward silence while Charlie glared from me to Jacob and back and forth for a minute or two. Then, Charlie stopped and pointed to the door. "In the car," he ordered.

Jacob and I turned to look at each other with wide eyes.

"Why?" I dared to ask.

"We're taking a drive."

"Wait, where are we going?" I asked, afraid of the answer.

"To Billy's."

In unison, Jacob and I groaned, "Oh great."

Charlie shook his head, back to frowning again. "You should have thought about that one before you decided to..." he paused, obviously rethinking was he was originally going to say. "Do what you were just doing," he finally finished.

"I thought you weren't going to be home for another hour or so," I suddenly protested before I could stop myself.

"That changes nothing," he said simply, turning and walking out the front door.

"Damn!" I muttered under my breath, so quietly that only Jacob heard me.

"Do you think Billy will react as badly as Charlie is?" I asked Jacob, locking and closing the front door behind us, as we followed Charlie slowly out to the cruiser.

Jacob shook his head. "Probably not."

I sighed a small sigh of relief.

"I guess it's different with sons and daughters," he said quietly.

"Yeah, probably so," I agreed.

Once at the car, I got in the front seat knowing that Charlie wouldn't approve at this point if I sat in the back with Jacob.

"Would you drop me off at my car, please?" I heard Jacob ask Charlie.

Charlie grunted as he got into the driver's seat.

Without hiding his anger, he asked back, "Where's it at?"

"Just around the corner."

Charlie nodded. "Get in."

**~HM~**

About two minutes later, we pulled up along side the Rabbit.

"Can I ri..." I started to ask as Jacob got out of the car.

The angry look on Charlie's face as he turned to look at me cut me off mid question.

I quickly looked down at my hands in my lap and whispered. "Never mind."

"We'll follow you," Charlie told Jacob, as if he didn't trust him to follow us.

"Okay," Jacob replied, closing the back door and walking to the Rabbit.

I lifted my head up and turned to look out the window to find Jacob staring back at me with a guilty and sad expression that more than likely matched my own.

"Love you," I mouthed.

"Love you, too," he mouthed back and I couldn't help but smile, to which he smiled right back, momentarily making me feel a little better.

**~HM~**

The drive to Billy's was entirely quiet. I wasn't sure if I should be happy or scared about that. So, I split it down the middle and felt both. Happy because I didn't have to face whatever he was thinking right now. Scared because I knew that sooner or later I would have to face whatever he was thinking right now.

Charlie abruptly parked the cruiser, turned it off, and got out without a word making a beeline for the front door of the Black's house. Charlie didn't even bother to knock. He just walked right into the house when he found the front door unlocked. Surely, when he wasn't as mad he'd probably have something to say about that.

Jacob and I kept somewhat of a distance as we walked side beside into the house a few seconds later.

"Charlie...what..." I heard Billy's voice as I walked into the house, behind Jacob, I made sure to let him go in first...I don't care how much of a sissy that makes me seem.

Charlie's anger continued to take center stage as he cut Billy off. "You'll never guess who I found and in what way I found him in my daughter's room!"

Billy looked around Charlie to Jacob and I standing there both looking guilty.

I don't really know why I did it, but I waved a small wave at him while giving him a "please, don't kill us" look.

"I thought you said you were friends again?" he asked, looking at us.

I nodded. "We are."

Very quietly that almost no one can hear, Jacob added, "Just with benefits."

I was standing right next to him, though, so I heard him clearly. I felt my face heat up as it turned completely red and I adverted my gaze to anything but at Billy, Charlie, or even Jacob.

Ever so bluntly, Billy asked, only proving to embarrass me even more, "Are you two being safe?"

"Oh my god!" I cried out. "Kill me now! Please, God! Just kill me now!" I exclaimed out loud, not caring who heard me.

This was like something out of my wildest nightmare.

"Yes, we are," Jacob answered when I sure as hell wasn't. "I swear it. Always have and always will."

I looked up just in time to see Charlie glaring at him.

"In a few years from now," Jacob said quickly.

Charlie was still mad, but he seemed to calm down just a little thanks to Jacob's quick save.

"Jacob, Bella," Billy said looking at the two of us. "Can you give us a moment?"

"Sure, sure," jacob replied, grabbing my arm gently, and turning us around. "Come on, Bella."

"Stay where I can see you!" Charlie demanded.

As he lead me outside, Jacob called back, "We will!"

As soon as the door closed and we were outside, I lost it. My breathing was suddenly all out of order, and I was damn near having a panic attack. I started to frantically pace back and forth in front of the house, muttering so many things, one after another, after another.

"This isn't good."

"Nope, not good at all."

"Oh god! Oh god!"

"This is so awful!"

"Bells, calm down," Jacob said trying to pull me into a hug, but I kept shrugging away from him. "It's not that bad."

And, that did the trick.

I stopped mid pace abruptly and turned to look at him in shock. Was he serious?!

"Not that bad, Jake?! Seriously?!" I asked him in disbelief. "My dad just caught us getting ready to have sex! And, that's not that bad?!"

"Holy shit!" someone exclaimed suddenly from the shadows.

Jacob and I both turned quickly towards where the voice came from.

I squinted, trying to use the moon to make out who it was. When I finally saw who it was, I groaned, slapping my hands over my face, muttering, "Oh, this is just great."

"Seth, what the hell?" I heard Jacob hiss.

"I'm sorry...I was just..." Seth started to defend himself.

"What are you doing here?" Jacob asked.

"I was...I don't...I don't even remember now," Seth answered with a slight stutter.

An awkward silence filled the air.

After a while, Seth broke it, "So, you two..."

Before he could even finish, I took him off guard, marching over to him, and getting up in his face. "You better not tell anyone about what you heard!" I exclaimed, poking him in the chest with my finger, over and over. "I swear if you do, I will hunt you down and I'll..." I started to openly threaten him.

I suddenly felt a warm hand on my arm, and then I was pulled back.

"Bells, calm down," Jacob spoke in a soothing tone, pulling me into him. "Seth won't tell anyone," he assured me.

I sighed, "I know." I pulled away from Jacob and turned to look at Seth. "Sorry, Seth," I apologized, taking a deep breath. "I'm just on edge right now."

Seth while holding his hands up in surrender, assured me, "It's fine." Slowly, he backed away from me just a bit. "I promise I won't tell anyone. And, I'll think of anything but this when I phase."

"Deep breaths, Bella," Jacob said, rubbing soothing circles on my back.

I nodded and did just that. "Okay."

"So, if you don't mind my asking...who all knows about..." Seth pointed back and forth between Jacob and I. "Whatever this is?"

I heard Jacob growl at him and move forward.

Now calmer than before, I quickly grabbed Jacob's arm to keep him from doing anything stupid. "It's fine, Jake," I said looking up at him. "I mean, our dads know now, so it can't get any worse." I looked at Seth, and answered his question, "So far just our dad's, Rosalie, Leah, and now you."

Seth's eyes widened as I said his sister's name. "Leah knows?"

I nodded my head. "For a week or so now."

"And, she told no one?" he asked, disbelief evident in his voice.

I shook my head. "No, she didn't."

"Wow."

"I know," Jacob and I agreed in unison.

"I wonder why?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "Your guess is as good as mine."

Another voice suddenly joined in on the conversation, causing Jacob, Seth, and I to look over towards where it came from.

"Because I knew sooner or later you'd come around," Leah explained, walking up to us. "But, if more people knew then you'd probably head straight for the hills and never return."

I couldn't disagree with that.

"So, you got caught again?" Leah asked, smirking.

Jacob growled again, but this time I didn't try and stop him from whatever he would do.

"Third time's a charm, right?" she snickered.

I did my best to ignore her. I knew she was just playing around. She wasn't as big of a bitch as everyone made her out to be.

Suddenly, we all jumped, having been taken off guard by the front door slamming open.

"Isabella Marie, let's go!" Charlie ordered, still angry, but the bite in his voice gone.

"He just middle named me," I groaned, knowing that hell was still coming since he never used my middle name unless he was really not happy with me. "Well, it was nice knowing you all," I sighed, turning and leaning up to give Jacob a quick peck on the lips. "I'll hopefully see you all again before I die," I said turning to walk over to the cruiser, not wanting to give Charlie anymore anger leverage.

**~HM~**

Later that night, after an awkward talk with Charlie which consisted of anger and a very unwanted sex talk...once I was ready for bed, I called Jacob. I just needed to hear his voice after everything that happened. For some reason, his voice had a calming effect on me.

"So, what happened when you got home?" Jacob asked me after we got the pleasantries out of the way.

I groaned, as I remembered what happened. "A sex talk that I really would have preferred to have skipped," I shivered at the memory. "And, grounded."

"Same here," Jacob replied. "Well, minus the sex talk," he chuckled.

I rolled my eyes. "Lucky you," I scoffed. "For how long?"

"Surprisingly, only two weeks," Jacob answered.

Lucky him again.

"One week for being caught in your bedroom. Another week for lying to dad about us just "being best friends" again," he explained.

"Oh."

Well, aren't you just so damn lucky.

"How about you?"

"I'm grounded until I get married," I answered, using Charlie's exact words.

Jacob didn't reply right away, obviously thinking what I said throught. "But, how can you get married if you're grounded?"

I laughed. "That was exactly Charlie's point."

"Oh, so you're grounded for life, then."

"Yeah, pretty much."

Jacob sighed and I could hear the frown in his voice as he asked, "How are we going to see each other, then?"

I was frowning as well all of a sudden. "I don't know," I answered truthfully.

"Aw, cheer up, Bells," he said. "We'll figure something out."

"I sure hope so."

We talked for a while longer before deciding to call it a night. We exchanged our "I love you's." Then, we did that "You hang up first, no you hang up first" bit before finally agreeing to hang up at once.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, there you go! I had tons of fun writing this chapter! Can anyone say awkward?! Haha!
> 
> So, Seth knows too now. Not that he'll say anything, though. But, still it's kind of funny how he found out, isn't it? Haha!
> 
> Oh, and next chapter...another moment you've all probably been waiting for.
> 
> Hints;
> 
> 1.) Starts with a B and ends with a P.
> 
> 2.) Can sometimes be seen as two words with a - in the middle.


	24. Chapter 23 - ...act rambunctious and see what I do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's break-up time! Woot! Woot! And, I must say...I really enjoyed writing the break-up scene! So, I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!
> 
> Also, in this chapter, I'm making up for ruining Jacob and Bella's sexy time a few chapters back. I'm sure you'll all enjoy that!
> 
> Warning: Sexual content and possible cursing. Turn back now if you think/know it'll offend you in some way.

The next day, I woke up only to find that I had over slept. Despite not being a morning person, I still woke up at a certain time most mornings, but I ended up sleeping until the afternoon. Apparently, my body was fully aware that I was grounded and would be bored out of my mind for a very long time so it let me sleep in or something like that.

I got up and went about my normal routine, minus changing clothes. Since I was grounded and couldn't leave the house, I just decided that I'd stay in my pajamas, lounge around, and [watch movies](http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9464003/24/Hot-Mess) all day. Anything to keep the boredom away, which depending on the movies I could find around the house, it wouldn't be that hard to do.

I made some popcorn and put the first movie in. I was just getting comfortable when I heard a knock at the door. That's interesting. I hadn't been expecting anyone today. Then, again sometimes people came by without warning, and no one knew that I was grounded, so that explained that.

Pushing pause on the movie that had just started, I stood up and made my way to the front door. Peaking out the window close to the door, I was surprised to find Rosalie standing there on the front porch. She looked over and smiled at me. I smiled back, waved, and then pulled back to open the door.

"Hey, Rose," I said, opening the door, and stepping aside to let her in.

"Bella," she smiled, walking past me.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, closing the door and turning to face her.

"I hate to be the bearer of bad news..." she trailed off.

Well, this most definitely didn't sound like a good visit.

"What bad news?" I asked, almost afraid for her to answer.

She gave me a sympathetic look before she answered, "I came to warn you that Edward's on his way."

My eyes widened and I frowned. "So soon?" I asked, not sure how exactly to feel about him coming over. "I thought you were keeping him away until tomorrow?"

She nodded. "I was, but he finally said forget it, I'm not waiting any longer and no one can stop me."

"Damn," I groaned, shaking my head, and walking over to the couch, plopping down. "I'm gonna have to do this now, aren't I?"

"Do what now?" Rosalie asked curiously.

I didn't answer because I was too caught up in my thoughts at the moment.

I hadn't been expecting to have to do this so soon, but now it seemed like I had no choice. I wanted more time to get my thoughts together and figure out what exactly to say without making things worse than they were more than likely already going to be. But, I guess that wasn't going to go how I planned it to.

Just then, my thoughts were interrupted by another knock on the door.

I froze knowing who it was, but hoping that it wasn't.

"He's here," Rosalie said, confirming what I already knew, as she turned to leave.

"Wait, Rose!" I called after her, jumping up from the couch.

She turned back around. "Yeah?"

"Can you stick around?" I asked her a hint of pleading in my voice.

She raised an eyebrow, and asked, "What for?"

"I'm going to break up with him," I confessed to her. "I mean, I've..." I trailed off and mouthed the rest. "Chose Jake already."

Rosalie nodded in understanding.

"It's just not fair to keep Edward on a leash, so to speak, any longer," I said. Then, once I realized what I said, I quickly, added, "No pun intended!"

"Yeah, okay," she laughed. "I'll stick close by just in case."

"Thank you," I said sincerely.

"You're welcome," Rosalie replied, turning back to the door. "Just yell if you need me."

I nodded. "Alright, will do."

Then, Rosalie opened the door and walked out.

I took a deep breath and walked over to let Edward in. "Come in," I said, staying to the side so he could get by.

Once he was inside, I took a deep breath, closed the door, and turned to face him.

"We need to talk," I said, walking over to the couch and sitting back down.

He nodded and agreed, "Yes, we do."

"Alright, so should I go first? Or do you want to go first?" I asked, looking anywhere but at him, as I nervously played with my hands in my lap.

There was a moment of silence, before he spoke, "I'll go first."

I nodded. "Okay."

"First, I would like to start by apologizing to you."

I looked up at him, confused. "For what?"

"For whatever I did to freak you out the other day."

Oh, Edward. It's not necessarily something you did. If only you knew.

"You shouldn't be apologizing to me," I told him, once again adverting my gaze. "If anyone should be apologizing it's me."

He was genuinely confused as he sat down next to me, cupped my chin in his icy, cold hand, and turned me to look at him. "What are you talking about Bella?"

"I should have told you sooner," I said quietly.

"Told me what?"

I sighed. Here goes nothing.

"As, I'm sure you've noticed...things between us haven't been the same lately..." I trailed off, finding it hard to say what I needed to say.

He nodded his head. "Yes, I have."

"Well, there's a reason for it," I admitted. "I just can't say the reason yet."

"Why not?"

"Because, I can't," I answered, pulling my face out of his grasp, and standing up to walk away from him. "But, there's something else that I can, will, and have to tell you because it's not fair to either of us to keep living like this."

"Bella, love, you're almost starting to scare me, if that's even possible," Edward said, standing up and walking over to where I was.

I moved out of the way of his grasp as he tried to grab my arm and pull me closer.

"I'm breaking up with you, Edward," I whispered, it hurt just slightly to say those words but I knew that they needed to be said.

Edward was silent for a minute or two before finally speaking, "What? Why? Whatever it is we can fix it, Bella."

I shook my head. "No, we can't."

In order to fix it, I'd have to fall out of love with Jacob. And, I honestly don't think that's possible. No, I know that it's not possible. It never will be possible. I chose Jake, and he would forever be my final choice. No if, ands, or buts about it.

"Bella, please, don't do this," Edward said, his voice almost breaking. "You're my life, Bella. And, I'm yours."

I managed to look up at him now, and gave him a sad, sorrowful look as I shook my head. "Not anymore, you're not," I told him, sadly, but it was the truth and it had to be said.

"Bella, please," he pleaded with me.

But, I couldn't. I said what I needed to say. There would be no going back on what I said.

"Please, Bella," he said again.

I shook my head no.

"Please just hear what I'm saying to you, Edward. Accept it for what it is, and please stop trying to make it harder on us both than it already is."

"Bella, I don't understand. We are so good together."

I swallowed the lump in my throat. "Were," I corrected him. "We were good together."

Edward was silent, but then asked, "What changed, Bella? Did I do something? If I did, you can tell me, and I'll fix it. Anything to make you not give up on us."

"Too late," I whispered, looking down at the ground.

"Bella..."

Apparently, this would be a lot more difficult than I had originally hoped it would. I guess, I'd have to try something different. That's exactly what I did, too.

Taking a deep breath, I looked up from the floor, and back at Edward.

Then, I did something that I never thought I'd ever do. I said  _those_ words. Those corny words used in breakups on TV shows and in movies. Yeah,  _that_ line.

"It's not you. It's me."

Yep!  _That_ line.

"So, really, there's nothing you can do or say, Edward," I told him with a sad expression.

"But, Bella," he started to protest.

And, now my sadness was starting to cease and annoyance was quickly taking it's place.

I shook my head and held up a hand silencing him. "No, Edward. It's over. It's done. We can't repair what's been broken," I told him sternly. "I'm sorry, but what's done is done."

I was trying so hard to make this easy on us both, but he just wouldn't listen.

"Bella, there has to be something that I can do or say," Edward said, not getting the point that I was trying to make.

We're over. And, there's nothing that will change that.

"Edward!" I exclaimed suddenly, not being able to handle him not listening to what I was saying. "It. Is. Over."

Edward opened his mouth to say something else, but I beat him to it.

"ROSALIE!" I yelled, utterly annoyed at Edward now.

Obviously, there was no getting through to him at this point. So, I needed back up. And, I knew Rosalie would help me out here since I was doing the right thing.

Moments later, the door flew open, banging against the wall behind it and Rosalie appeared in the living room.

Apparently, she had been closer than I thought she'd be as she picked up pretty much where I left off.

"Edward, get it through your head. She broke up with you. It's a done deal. It's settled. There is no going back to what you use to be. It's time to grow up and move on," Rosalie told him, grabbing hold of his arm and pulling him towards the foyer.

"Let go of me, Rosalie. Bella and I need to fix this," Edward protested trying to get out of Rosalie's grasp, but Rosalie wasn't letting up on him.

"Edward!" she hissed. "Don't make me forcibly remove you. I'll do it. You know I will," she threatened, turning to glare at him.

Edward frowned and turned to me. "We'll talk again and fix whatever this is later," he said, pointing from himself to me.

I rolled my eyes and let out an annoyed huff as I brought my hands up to my head and massaged my temples to try and prevent the headache that was beginning to come on because of all of this.

He just wasn't listening! God! What the hell is wrong with him!

Why was he making this more difficult than need be?

"There is nothing to fix!" I yelled, glaring at him.

God, how I wished I could just tell him the truth already. But, I wasn't willing to deal with the backlash of that just yet. Even with Rosalie here. I wanted more than just one person for back up when I told Edward the truth. Or I at least wanted to be in a public place or somewhere that people could see and would force Edward to watch his reaction.

That time just wasn't now.

Edward was about to say something else, but before he could get a single word out, Rosalie stopped him by pulling him out of the room.

I didn't say another word. I just watched silently as Rosalie practically dragged Edward out of the house.

**~HM~**

About half an hour later, once I had recovered from breaking up with Edward and how he reacted, I called Charlie to see where he was. Apparently, he and Billy had decided to go on an impromptu Sunday afternoon fishing trip and he wouldn't be back until eight or so. His excuse...after what he saw last night, he needed some time to clear his head.

Speaking of which, I was surprised to say the least. Considering he grounded me for life, I had figured that he would have been more on my case and watching me like a hawk. Yet, it was my first day of punishment and he had gone fishing. How weird. It didn't make too much sense really.

Well, unless...hmm...maybe Billy talked him down somehow or something? But, then again, that was probably just wishful thinking. Surely, there was some other reason for it. Although, I did find some relief in the thought that maybe Billy got through to him and made him realize that it wasn't as big of a deal.

I mean, I'm 18. I'm legal enough to do what I want. Kind of. Then again, we were under his roof at the time. Oh, and, I'm also his daughter...only daughter. So, I guess his anger from last night was justified. I'm just glad he didn't over, overreact and shoot Jacob or something. That wouldn't have been good.

Once I hung up the phone, I looked over at the clock. It was only about three in the afternoon. That meant Charlie wouldn't be back for at least five hours. Which also meant that I had about four hours to sneak over to see Jake, spend time with him, and hurry home before Charlie got back home.

After all, what Charlie didn't know wouldn't hurt him.

Or anyone else.

Quickly, I jumped up from the couch and made a beeline for my room to change clothes.

**~HM~**

Another half an hour later or so, I pulled into the Black's driveway. I had just managed to park the truck and turn it off when the door was swung open. A squeal escaped me when I was pulled out of the truck and into the tight bear like hug that I had come to know and love so much.

"I take it you missed me?" I teased, pulling my head back to look at him, using the same words he used on me yesterday when he was on the receiving end of a similar gesture.

"Always," he grinned.

"That's good," I grinned right back. "Because I always miss you, too," I said before pressing my lips to his.

"Copycat," he laughed against my mouth before kissing me back.

"Like you actually care," I retorted, pulling away.

He laughed and nodded his head in confirmation.

"So, I broke up with Edward today," I told him as he put me down and we both moved out of the way so that I could close my truck door.

Jacob grinned from ear to ear. "Good. It's about time."

"Yeah, I know," I sighed. "I just wish I'd done it sooner. That way I wouldn't feel as guilty as I do now."

"Sorry, Bells," Jacob said pulling me closer to him. "Better late than never, though, right?"

I nodded my head against his chest. "Yeah, that's true."

"So, how'd he take it?" Jacob asked curiously.

I couldn't help but laugh at the memory.

"What's so funny?" Jacob asked, looking down at me as I pulled back from him.

"Rosalie had to literally drag him out of the house," I laughed, knowing I shouldn't be laughing, but not being able to help it.

"Damn! And, I missed it," Jacob laughed along with me.

I shrugged my shoulders. "Beggars can't be choosers."

Jacob rolled his eyes at me. "Alright, so, what do you want to do?"

I hadn't really thought about what we'd do.

"Well, we have about four hours," I said, racking my brain for ideas. "So...hmm...oh, I know..." I said as an idea came front and center. "We should get the bikes and go riding."

Jacob looked at me weirdly. "Do you recall what happened last time?"

I shook my head and shoved him playfully. "I'll just ride with you."

Jacob seemed happy with my answer. "Alright, that'll work."

I laughed and rolled my eyes at him. "Oh, I'm sure it will," I said. "You're so predictable, Jake."

"Are not," he argued.

"Are to," I argued right back.

And, it went back and forth for some time after that.

"No, I'm not."

"Yes, you are!"

"Am not."

"Am to!"

"Am so not!"

"Am so too!"

"Nuh-uh."

"Yeah-huh."

"No!"

"Yes!"

Jacob opened his mouth to retort again, but I cut him off, suddenly getting a foolproof idea that would shut him up and let me win this without a doubt.

"Are we going to do this all day?" I asked him, biting my lower lip.

His eyes trailed to my mouth.

It was working just how I wanted it to.

"Or would you prefer we go somewhere and finish what we started last night?" I asked, batting my eyelashes at him in a seductive manner.

"The latter," he answered without hesitation.

"Thought so," I grinned triumphantly. "We should go to your...wait..." I paused. " _Our_  special, secret place," I corrected myself.

Jacob smiled and leaned forward to peck me on the lips. "I like the sound of that."

I smiled back. "Me, too."

"Alright, let me go get my bike."

"Okay."

Jacob turned to go to the garage.

"Oh, and Jake?" I called after him once he was halfway to the garage.

Jacob stopped and turned back to look at me. "Yeah?"

"I won," I said, winking at him.

A confused look took place on Jacob's face. "Wh..." he paused mid question as it clicked in his head what I was referring to. "Oh, you little..."

I cut him off and waved my finger at him. "Oh, no, no! No time to argue again. Get the bike," I told him. "Remember we're running on borrowed time. I have to be home before Charlie gets home or else," I reminded him. "So, hurry up if you want us to have any sexy time."

At the words sexy time, Jacob turned and ran to get the bike leaving a very hysterically laughing me behind.

He was just so easy sometimes.

**~HM~**

"Now my butt hurts," I whined, getting off the bike and pulling my helmet off.

Never again would I ride a bike on that path. Ever. Not even if I was paid all the money in the world. It was way too bumpy and painful. It was safer the first time around when Jacob carried me up the path. Less bumps, no pain upon reaching our destination, and a much smoother journey.

Instead of being comforting and soothing towards me and making me feel better, Jacob laughed at me as he got off the bike.

I crossed my arms and glared at him. "It's not funny."

"It kind of is," he laughed. "Besides, you're the one who wanted the ride the bike here."

Oh, really? That's how you wanna play it? Alright, then, Jake. Oh, we can play.

"Yeah, well, we'll see who's laughing when I don't put out anymore for a while," I smirked at him.

His laughing abruptly stopped and he was in front of me in a flash. "Sorry, Bells," he apologized, sincerely. "It wasn't nice of me to laugh at you in pain."

And, I was definitely the one laughing now.

"You're forgiven," I told him once I stopped laughing.

Jacob sighed a sigh of relief. "Oh, good."

"So, what shall we do now?" I asked, teasingly. "We have about three hours left now to do whatever we want," I smiled suggestively, circling around him.

"Oh, I can think of a few things," he smiled, playing along.

"I'm sure you can," I agreed once I made it back around to his front. "So..."

"So..." Jacob mimicked.

"Should we pick back up where we left off first and go slow later..." I trailed off. "Or slow first, and fast later?"

"The former," he growled, and I was done for.

There went that damn growl again.

Wetness pooled between my legs and I thought back to how we hadn't gotten to finish what we started last night. And, I wanted to finish it now. Slow, love making could wait it's turn, definitely.

"Agreed," I said quickly, practically launching myself at him.

"So, you were kidding about not putting out anymore, I take it?"

"Yep, total lie," I confirmed, shutting him up by just about sticking my tongue down his throat.

Just like it was the night before, we were in a battle to undress each other as fast as possible. Screw foreplay and taking it slow. We had some unfinished business to take care of at the moment. And, at the rate that Jacob was pulling my clothes off, I think it was safe to say that getting straight to the down and dirty was all that either of us could think of at this point. Nothing else made any sense.

Somehow, in the midst of everything going on, Jacob managed to lay out the blanket from last time. He laid me down in a hurry and reached into his pocket for a condom. Wasting no time, the packet was open in seconds, and the condom was on him not even a second later.

Jacob positioned himself at my entrance, and was about to push into me. But before he could enter me, I pushed at his chest. I didn't want to be on the bottom this time around. I wanted to pick up exactly where we left off last night. With me on top. And, I refused to have it any other way.

He groaned in protest and made no effort to move.

"Roll over," I hissed, as we locked eyes. "I'm on top," I told him, pushing harder at his chest.

"Alright, fine," he managed to say through clenched teeth as he rolled over.

Needing to feel him in me at that exact moment, I quickly got into position and impaled myself on him. We both moaned at the contact as pleasure coursed through our veins. I wasted no time lifting myself quickly off of him and then impaling myself yet again. Over and over again.

It felt amazing.

Jacob's grip on my hips grew tighter as he began to help lift me up and down faster and harder.

But, it wasn't enough for whatever reason.

I was like a druggie who couldn't get enough. I needed more of him all of a sudden. And, I knew just how to get what I wanted. A new angle was sure to do the trick. If I'm being completely honest, I always wanted to do it in the way I was thinking of now. It'd be new to me, but the thought was exciting.

Despite protest from both myself and Jacob, I lifted off of him completely.

"What are you..." Jacob started to ask, but shut up as soon as he saw what I was doing.

He was momentarily shocked into stillness as I rolled over onto my hands and knees.

"Now, Jake!" I exclaimed, looking back over my shoulder.

In an instant, he was thrusting himself back into me.

"Oh fuck!" I screamed as the position we were now in allowed him to go even deeper than he'd ever gone before.

"You have..." Thrust.

"No idea..." Thrust.

"How many..." Thrust.

"Times I've..." Thrust.

"Fantasized about..." Thrust.

"Having you..." Thrust.

"This way..." Thrust.

"Come for me!" Jacob demanded, reaching around to rub me over the edge. "Now Bells!" he growled.

And, as always, that growl was enough to cause me to scream out as I came, clenching hard around Jacob, for what seems liked hours without stop.

A few more thrusts and he came as well.

"Wow," was all I could manage as he pulled out of me and laid down, pulling me back towards him.

"Agreed," he replied, out of breath.

Once I got my breath back, I smiled. "Give me a minute of a breather, and we are so doing that again," I told him. "As many times as we can in the next few hours."

"I'm holding you to that," Jacob replied, and I could hear the smirk in his voice.

And, that he did.

By time the hours passed by and it was time for me to get back home, Jacob and I were both spent physically. I was surprised when I actually made it home just in time. I went straight up to shower and go to bed. That way when Charlie got home, I wouldn't have to lie about what I did all day.

'Cause I honestly highly doubt that after everything that happened in the past few hours between Jacob and I...that I'd actually be able to lie without blushing like someone who was guilty and had spent most of the day being thoroughly fucked in so many different positions that the Kamasutra could be put to shame.

Yeah, I'll just skip that humiliating conversation all together.

Besides, sleep sounded so good after all that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, now they're back to hiding again. But, sneaking around has already proven to be fun. And, Bella and Jacob have both learned their lessons from the last time...what with Rosalie and Leah and then Charlie all three catching them and all. Haha!
> 
> Also, next chapter...dun, dun, dun...that's all that I'll say!


	25. Chapter 24 - Living life like it's all you have.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, here we are...second to last chapter. *sigh* I hate to see this end soon, but all good things usually do, right? Anyways, this chapter is another chapter I'm sure a lot of you have been waiting for...the truth comes out completely! Get ready!
> 
> Warning: Mentions of sex, but no actual sexual content, but very possibly some cursing. Turn back now if you think/know it'll offend you in some way.

The next day, Monday again, I ended up going to [school](http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9464003/25/Hot-Mess)...extremely sore. I was pleasantly relieved, but surprised that no one noticed, or if they did they just didn't mention anything about it, how I was walking. I would never even think of wishing to take back what happened yesterday, but that didn't mean I enjoyed the next day aftermath.

Apparently, from now on I would need to limit myself to just how much my body could actually take whenever Jacob and I had our "sexy time" as we both agreed to call it after I first mentioned it yesterday. If we ever felt the need to do it when someone was around we agreed that we'd shorten it to "ST," and excuse ourselves minutes apart from one another to find some personal time.

No one would ever have to know, other than us, what that meant. And, we were both more than happy about it. Although, it probably wouldn't last long with us being surrounded my a pack of shape-shifting wolves...it was more of the thought that counted. Or, at least, that's what we were telling ourselves.

The beginning of the school day was pretty uneventful. Not that I was paying too much attention or really cared to much, I noticed when I first walked into the cafeteria at lunch time that only Rosalie, Emmett, and Edward were here. I wondered where Alice and Jasper were, but didn't wonder too long as Rosalie, Emmett, and Edward all looked my way, having sensed my gaze on them.

Rosalie gave a small nod in my direction followed by a small smile. Emmett as always grinned at me and I didn't not notice the knowing look in his eyes, but I pretended that I didn't. And, Edward was looking at me with a look that I couldn't quite figure out. It was like a mixture of confusion, sadness, and curiosity. But, I couldn't be quite sure.

I turned away from them and walked over to the lunch line to get something to eat. I was practically starving after yesterday's activities followed by no food, sleep, and only a pop tart for breakfast. I needed to replenish my energy. Or better yet, I needed to shut my growling stomach up.

My stomach wanted food and it hadn't been quiet about it. At. All. I had gotten many weird looks from students in my morning classes when my stomach would growl loudly during class. I kept having to keep my eyes on my work and only move my eyes to see who was looking through my hair. It was kind of embarrassing.

I was at the end of the line with a plate full of food before I even realized it. I turned around to go sit at the table with my friends when my apple fell of the plate. It fell to the floor, but didn't make it all the way. The apple bounced off a very familiar shoe, and I looked up to see Edward holding it in his hands. I cringed and a shiver ran up and down my spin as the feeling of Déjà vu washed over me.

"Bella," he said smoothly, handing me the apple.

"Edward," I replied in monotone, taking the apple from him.

"Can we talk?" he asked.

I shook my head, remembering his words about "talking later and fixing whatever this is later" yesterday. "No, no we can't," I answered, sternly. "There's nothing to talk about."

"Bella, please."

"No, Edward!" I all, but shouted. "There is nothing to talk about. It. Is. Over! How many times do I have to freaking tell you that?!"

I was just about to say screw it and tell him everything right then and there. Surely he wouldn't lose it in front of the entire school, right? But, before I could get the words out, I heard another familiar male voice come from behind Edward. I looked up and around Edward to see Emmett coming over.

"Serious, Edward? Leave Bella alone, will you?" he asked, as more of a demand than an actual question. "She said it's over. So, it's over," he said passing Edward all together and coming over to me. "Learn to deal with it."

"Emmett, this is between me and Bella," Edward said, glaring at him, something that I wasn't at all use to seeing.

Emmett shook his head. "No, it's not. Not anymore."

"Emmett..." Edward said in a threatening tone.

"Edward..." Emmett replied in an equally threatening tone.

Oh god! I wasn't sure what would go down if this kept up how it was. So, I stepped in and spoke up.

"Stop it!" I exclaimed, looking from one to the other.

Edward's glare fell as he turned to look at me. "Sorry, love."

"Don't call me that!" I hissed. "We are not together anymore! So, no more calling me love!"

"But, Bella..."

I opened my mouth to argue with him some more, but Emmett beat me to the punch again.

"Edward, just go," Emmett ordered, his voice louder than before.

Edward quickly turned to Emmett. "What happened to you wanting us to be together? To wanting Bella to become one of us?" he practically spat at him. "You voted for her to turn, remember?"

Emmett ignored his violent tone and shook his head. "It's not about what I want. If Bella wants to break up with you and stay human, then I am all for it," he answered, placing one of his arms over my shoulders. "Right?" he asked, looking at me.

Umm...okay. Well, if this isn't just the weirdest, most awkward situation I've ever been in before.

I just nodded and answered back, "Right."

Edward opened his mouth to say something else, but thought better of it and closed his mouth. With one last look at both Emmett and I, he turned and quickly walked out of the cafeteria.

Once he was out of sight, I sighed and turned to Emmett. "Thanks."

"Of course. Despite who you choose, I'll always be here for you," he smiled down at me.

"So, I take it you know, then?" I asked, looking down at the floor.

"Rosalie and I tell each other everything," he said as his answer.

"I figured that much," I whispered. "You're really okay with me not choosing Edward?" I asked, not quite understanding how he was so understanding of me suddenly choosing Jacob over Edward.

Emmett grabbed my chin in his ice cold hand and tilted my head up, so that I was looking at him.

"As long as you're happy with your choice, I'll support it," he answered, sincerely.

I smiled. "Good," I sighed a sigh of relief. "Just because I chose Jacob over Edward, I don't want to push the whole family away. You've all become like a second family to me. I would hate to lose you all over this."

"You won't," Emmett reassured me. "Rosalie and I are already on your side. It won't be hard to convince Carlisle and Esme to agree with your choice. And, Alice and Jasper...well, it may be harder for Alice to accept your choice, but I'm sure with Jasper's help we can get her to accept it, too."

After that, I definitely felt a ton of weight lift off of my shoulders.

"Thank you," I said, wrapping my arms around him. "It truly means a lot."

In all honesty, it really did.

**~HM~**

After school, due to my punishment I went straight home. Really all my punishment was, was me having to stay cooped up in the house when I wasn't at work or school. Basically, the punishment was only to keep me away from any possibility of being alone with Jacob. Other than that, I could call and talk to him all I wanted. I just couldn't be alone with him. Even though, it's pretty obvious that grounded or not, I'd still be alone with Jacob one way or another.

When I got home, I was surprised to find Charlie's cruiser in the driveway. I hadn't been aware that he would be home so early. I went into the house to find Charlie in the living room watching tv. When I asked him why he was home so early, he just said that there wasn't much law breaking going on today. I didn't continue on with the pointless conversation after that. I let Charlie go back to watching tv and went up to my room to find something to amuse myself, which ending up being my homework.

I had just gotten done with my homework when I heard a knock on the door followed by Charlie mumbling incoherently as he went to answer the door. I didn't think anything of it and went about putting my homework stuff back into my book bag. I could hear incoherent voices downstairs and it took me a moment to make out the other voice...

Edward.

Oh, god! No! Seriously?! What the hell was he doing here? How many times did I have to say we're over for him to get it through that thick head of his?!

Please, send him away dad! Please!

"Bella, Edward's here!" he called up the stairs moments later.

Damn it!

Apparently, I was right when I deduced that Charlie only punished me to keep me away from being alone with Jacob again.

I waited for a minute, as I got my bearings together, before I made my way out of my room and reluctantly downstairs. I didn't even try to hide my disappointment of seeing him there. I really wasn't in the mood to talk to him if he wasn't going to finally accept the fact that we were over and I wanted nothing to do with him in a relationship type way any longer. I had Jacob for that now.

"Make it quick," Charlie stated gruffly, turning to go back into the living room. "She's grounded."

When Charlie was out of sight, Edward looked at me. "Why are you grounded?" he asked, curiously.

"It's a long story," I answered simply.

"I have time," he pointed out.

All the time in the world, actually.

"I don't..." I started to protest, but trailed off as I thought that maybe just telling him now would be the best thing to do...that way he'd finally just leave me alone.

"I know something is up."

I quickly looked up at him. "What?"

"Between Rosalie acting how she's acting, keeping me out of her mind, threatening Emmett with no more sex for a century if he doesn't keep his mind closed to me, and Alice running off with Jasper on a not actually needed just yet hunting trip out of the blue on Saturday," he explained.

Suddenly, I adverted my gaze towards the floor.

Damn! He caught on! What does he not believe in change of actions or something? I mean, come on! They're going to live for an eternity!

"There's something that they're hiding," he continued. Then, I got to thinking."

He got to thinking. Well, this couldn't be good.

"About what?" I dared to ask, still eyeing the floor.

"All of the changes with them happened leading up to you breaking up with me out of the blue. I put two and two together and realized that their changes and actions have something to do with you."

The ground looked so pretty and inviting right now. Maybe it would open up and swallow me whole? That didn't sound like such a bad idea, honestly, right about now.

"I deserve to know the truth," he finally said.

Yep, that he did. Alright, there was no more putting it off.

I nodded my head in agreement. "Yeah, okay," I sighed. "It's about time that I come clean about everything. I should have done it sooner. But, better now than never."

"Bella, what..." Edward started.

I shook my head, cutting him off. "Let's go outside and talk."

I walked past him, knowing he'd follow.

However, he didn't follow like I thought he would.

I turned around to find Edward pretty much frozen in time.

Oh, god. What's going on? This can't be good. Can it? No, no, I don't think it can.

Just when I was about to have a full blown panic attack, Edward unfroze. He grabbed the door handle and closed the front door.

As soon as the door closed, Edward was in front of me, and his facial expression was murderous.

My eyes were wide and my breath was caught in my throat.

"You were cheating on me with that...that awful mutt!" he hissed at me, getting in my face.

Oh, shit! He must have read something in Charlie's mind just then. Oh, god! This wasn't good. No, not at all!

"Edward, I'm so sorry," I apologized immediately.

Edward backed off and shook his head, his murderous expression being replaced with confusion. "What do you have to be sorry about, Bella?" he asked.

Umm...we were just talking about the same thing, right?

Then, I got my answer.

"It's obvious who's to blame here."

Oh, I knew this would happen when he found out the truth!

I myself suddenly goes went sorry to angry. "What the hell, Edward?!" I hissed at him. "This is as much my fault as it is Jacob's! Don't you dare blame this all on him!"

"Bella, you don't have to lie to me," Edward said, reaching out to cup my face in his icy, cold hand. "I know he took advantage of you.

I quickly yanked back.

So, apparently, vampires can smoke crack now because that's exactly what he must be on right about now!

"What?! No, he didn't!" I yelled at him, fully ready to defend Jacob to the grave. "If anything I was the one who came on to strong and took advantage of him and his control!"

"Bella..." Edward started to say.

I pointed a finger at him in a scolding manner. "No, don't you dare!"

"I've seen into his mind Bella. It's nothing but bad and dirty..."

I scoffed and hissed sarcastically at that. "Oh, yeah, and my mind is so freaking clean!"

Just like when I broke up with him, Edward just wouldn't listen to me know either.

"I'm not just this miss perfect, fragile doll that needs to be put on a pedestal all the time!" I screamed, not caring if the neighbors or my dad heard what was going on.

"Bella..."

"So, help me God, Edward!"

Edward shook his head and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Arguing with you isn't getting us anywhere."

"Yeah, because of you!" I retorted, shaking my own head in disbelief.

Edward walked past me then and walked back to his car.

I turned around quickly to watch his retreating form. "Where the hell are you going?"

"To face the real problem head on," he answered, getting into his car and speeding off.

I didn't have to be a genius to know what he meant by that.

"Damn it!" I yelled before turning and running back inside to get my keys.

"Isabella Marie! Where do you think you're going?! You're grounded!" Charlie called, following me out of the house as I ran back downstairs and out to my truck.

"I'm sorry, dad," I apologized honestly. "But, this is urgent! I have to go!" I jumped into my truck, starting it quickly, and pulling out despite Charlie's protests.

Oh, this was not good!

Not good at all!

I was breaking every speeding law there was as I drove to La Push. By time, I made it past the treaty line, Edward was already waiting there angrily. I didn't even spare a glance at him as I sped past and didn't stop until I was parked in the Black's driveway. When I pulled up, I was surprised to find the whole pack there for whatever reason.

I'm not sure if I should consider it a good thing or a bad thing. But, considering that not all of them knew about Jacob and I yet...I think I'd be going with it being a bad thing.

This was just freaking great!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh-oh! Bella and Jacob's dirty little secret isn't so secret anymore!


	26. Chapter 25 - All this love is worth the mess.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh gosh! This is the chapter before the last. I can't believe it's already almost the end. I'm going to miss writing this story so much.
> 
> Also, just a heads up...I wrote this while in a sad place of mind...so, if it doesn't turn out as well as you all imagined it would, I apologize in advance. I think it turned out pretty good, but I'm not really sure if it actually lived up to the hype or not. I'll just let you all be the judge of that.
> 
> Warning: No sexual content but definitely some cursing...word to the wise...don't piss Bella off to the point where she loses it...it's not safe...even if you are a supernatural being. Turn back now if you think/know it'll offend you in some way.

Seeing every single member of the pack at Jacob's house had me wanting to [start](http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9464003/26/Hot-Mess) my truck back up and put it in reverse. But, since they had all already seen me and probably heard my truck long before, I couldn't exactly do that without bringing up some questions that I didn't want to answer. So, I sucked it up, and got out of my truck before I could convince myself otherwise, which I was very close to doing.

There were more pressing matters to deal with right now than the entire pack now knowing Jacob and I's secret. Even though, I had high hopes that they were still in the dark, other than Leah and Seth, I couldn't be entirely sure. But, again, that wasn't the biggest problem at the moment, so I couldn't stay thinking about that for too terribly long. I would worry about that later when we were all back to one less worry to worry about.

Apparently sensing my nervousness mixed with fear, Jacob knowingly didn't try to keep up the charade that we had been playing around with for the past month. As soon as he saw me, he jogged towards me meeting me halfway. To which, I was grateful because I didn't have to deal with the pack just yet...especially considering only Seth and Leah knew and the last time I was around the other guys...well, it isn't exactly something I like to remind myself about.

"What's wrong, Bells?" he asked, stopping in front of me.

I looked up at him, and didn't even try to hide all of my feelings as I blurted out, "He knows!"

Ever so slightly, I noticed Jacob's eyes widen. "As in..."

I nodded my head cutting him off before he could even finish. "Yes, as in  _knows_ ," I said, emphasizing the  _knows_  part.

"How?"

I wasted no time explaining myself. "I was going to tell him today," I confessed. "But, just as I was getting ready to tell him before I could he read Charlie's mind. And, now he knows and he's kind of...sort of...most definitely waiting angrily at the treaty line right about now."

"Of course, he is," Jacob muttered under his breath as he shook his head.

I sighed and nodded in agreement. "Yeah, I knew this would happen," I said guiltily. "Which is why I waited so long to tell him. I knew what would happen when I did and I just wasn't ready for it. I'm still not, honestly, but I don't have a choice to deal with it."

"What did you know would happen?" Jacob asked, curiously.

I looked down at the ground and whispered, "That he'd find a way to try and blame it all on you."

Jacob scoffed. "Why am I not surprised?"

"You know, 'cause apparently I can do no wrong," I went on, for a moment going into my own little world. I paused and then hissed, "So freaking annoying!"

"This will probably turn out to be a stupid question, but why exactly is he blaming it all on me?"

"Because his mindset is still stuck in the 20th century where woman are weak-minded beings and have no control over themselves or what happens in their lives," I explained. "What the hell did I ever see in him?" I muttered under my breath as an after thought.

"Beats me," Jacob said, managing to find something in this conversation to grin about.

I took my eyes off of the ground and looked up to glare at him. "So not helping," I chided, rolling my eyes at him.

"My bad. Sorry," he laughed.

If only the circumstances were different I would've laughed, too. But, they weren't.

I was just about to ask how we were going to go about the whole Edward waiting at the treaty line issue, but before I could I felt that sense of someone watching me. The feeling that sends shivers up and down my spine. Except, there wasn't a mystery of who was looking at me this time. I knew exactly who was...or correction were looking at me.

Ever so slowly, I peaked my head around Jacob and sure enough was proven right. The entire pack, minus Seth, were all looking at me. And, of course, as per usual, I was extremely uncomfortable. Being the center attention was always something I feared as opposed to soaked in.

"What's with all the looks?" I asked, feeling uneasy and confused, as I looked back up at Jacob.

He suddenly had a look on his face that I wasn't use to seeing. It was as if he was quietly saying sorry with his facial expression instead of his words.

Then, something in my mind clicked automatically. The entire pack, minus Seth, were all smirking at me knowingly. And, Jacob was looking at me with an apologetic look on his face. All of which could only mean one thing.  ** _He_**  had totally let it slip! When he promised he wouldn't. I mean, I know he's a wolf and all, but if Jacob can keep something this big a secret, when he was almost just as new to being a wolf as Seth was...then, why the hell couldn't Seth?

I was suddenly out of my mind.

For that moment, Edward being at the treaty line waiting for a fight with Jacob was the last thing on my mind. In a way, whether he meant to or not, Seth betrayed me. Well, at least now I knew how the pack felt when I chose Edward a month before. But, still. It was not a good feeling by any means.

And, as always, this time was no different, when I was on edge, I tended to become quite the bitch. Maybe I could even give Leah a run for her money. Well, okay not when she's a wolf. But, if she was a regular human being, I think I could out bitch her if I was mad enough.

Suddenly, angry and slightly betrayed, I quickly made my way around Jacob.

Seth apparently saw me coming because he quickly moved farther away from me.

I pointed an accusatory finger at him and hissed through clenched teeth, "I warned you!"

Seth quickly hid behind Leah who had an extremely amused smile on her face.

The rest of the pack were all trying to hold back laughs, but I could hear a few of them fail in continuing to do so from time to time.

Before I could get any closer to him, I felt Jacob's hands on my arms, holding me back. "Calm down, Bells," he said in a calm tone of voice.

Well, at least, one of us was still calm.

"I'm sorry. I really am," I heard Seth apologize from his hunched over position behind Leah, as he looked over her shoulder at me. "It just slipped. I swear I tried not to think about it!"

Oh, I'm sure you did!

"We have bigger things to deal with," Jacob told me, suddenly bringing me back to reality.

Oh, right. Edward. Angry. Treaty Line.

"Deep breaths, Bella," he coached me as I relaxed into his grip.

I nodded and took a few deep breaths.

In and out.

In and out.

"Yeah, you're right," I agreed. "Bigger things to deal with right now."

"Exactly."

I glared at Seth through my eyes, but put on a fake smile. "This. Is. Not. Over."

"Damn," I swear I heard him mutter, but couldn't be too sure with my human hearing and all.

At the time, I was still on edge. But, I knew that once everything with Edward was all said and done with, I'd be on the edge no longer. So, really I wouldn't even be bringing this up again. But, it was kind of nice and empowering to actually have a boy who phases into a wolf fearful of me. So, I didn't try to make it any better right now.

Maybe, just maybe, this would be a lesson for him.

A lesson to try harder to keep my secrets from now on should he ever come across one again.

Well, time would tell.

"Alright, let's go get this over with," I said, turning to go back to my truck.

"Wait!" I heard Sam call in what I presumed to be his alpha voice.

Not that it actually had any true effect on me or anything, but I stopped walking and turned back around. "Yes?"

"I take it that only Edward is there?" he asked me, walking forward to step front and center.

I nodded my head. "At the moment."

"At the moment?"

"Yeah, I'm gonna call Rose on the way and let her know that he's acting this way again."

"Again?"

"Yeah, he acted this way yesterday when I broke up with him, too," I answered, laughing at the memory. "She literally had to drag him out of the house because he wouldn't get it through his head that it's over."

Sam nodded. "Alright, well, there's no need for us all to go. So, Embry, Quil go with Jacob and Bella."

"Alright, then, let's go get this over with before Charlie shows up because I've been gone too long," I said, once again turning back to my truck, shivering at the reminder of how mad Charlie would probably be when I got home.

But, I couldn't think about that right now. Things were already bad enough as it was already.

**~HM~**

On the way to the treaty line, I did exactly what I told Sam I would. I called Rosalie to let her know what was going on. When I told her that Edward knew the entire truth now and was blaming Jacob for everything, she actually laughed. Not at the actual situation, but at how thick headed Edward could be at times.

Even she agreed with me that he was still stuck in the 20th century where woman weren't the most prided beings. But, just as everyone else has throughout the years, somewhere along the line, Edward would have to evolve. Probably not anytime soon, but maybe in the next hundred years or so.

Rosalie promised that she and Emmett would be there in the next ten minutes or so to drag Edward away yet again before things got worse than they needed to be. Neither of us wanted a war to end up breaking out between the vampires and the wolves just because Edward couldn't except that I chose Jacob over him.

Which, when I think of it only proved even more how I had made the right choice with choosing Jacob this time around. Last time when I chose Edward, Jacob didn't show his ass like Edward was doing now. Even though, Jacob didn't understand my choice...quite frankly, I'm not even sure I did or do...he didn't try to pick a fight with Edward. Yet, here we were in the same situation where the tables are turned and Edward is being a complete and total jerk.

There's absolutely no doubt in my mind that I was right in choosing Jacob this time. It was Jacob. It always was. It always would be. I'm just glad that I realized it in time before it was truly too late to do anything about it. I can't even imagine what it would've been like had I not originally agreed to Jacob's idea of BFWB's. And, honestly, I didn't even want to have to think about imagining it. Even that was too much for me to deal with.

**~HM~**

By time, I made it to the treaty line, Jacob, Embry, and Quil, who had insisted on running in wolf form because they'd get there faster were already there. Of course, that wasn't really a great thing because I was getting there in the middle the argument Jacob and Edward were currently in.

At first, I tensed up because of the sounds of their voices, yelling back and forth and their stances, balled up fists, up in each others faces. But, just one glance over at Embry and Quil who were standing off to the side watching the argument unfold showed me that there wasn't any need for me to freak out.

They both had very amused expressions on their faces. So, luckily, as it turns out, I made it just in time before the fists started flying. I'm not sure if I should be happy or fearful based on that fact. Maybe, I'll just feel a little bit of both. That way, I'd have it right one way or another.

I got out of my truck, slowly and quietly, not that either mattered because I highly doubt that even a bomb exploding right next to them would catch their attentions, I made my way over to where Embry and Quil were standing.

"I'm surprised they're not killing each other right about now," I said, pushing my way in between them.

"After you left, Sam made it perfectly clear before he let us leave that there was to be no physical contact what-so-ever," Embry informed me.

Not that I was complaining or anything, I asked, anyways, "Why not?"

"Same as the rest of us. He doesn't want a war started between the vampires and wolves," Quil answered. "At least, this way, though, we get some comical relief," he laughed.

"Yeah, watching those two argue almost like a bickering couple," Embry added, laughing as well.

And, call their laughs contagious or something because I couldn't stop my own laugh from escaping me. But, for what it's worth, if it means anything, Jacob and Edward did look quite a bit like a bickering couple. From an outside view, if I was some passerby, I'd definitely be thinking couple break up fight.

But, this is a very serious matter so maybe I shouldn't be laughing about it.

"So, this is what it's like when you're not allowed to fight?" I said as more of a comment than a question.

"Pretty much," Embry confirmed.

"Isn't it hilarious?" Quil asked.

I nodded. "It really is."

Then, I decided to actually pay more attention to what they were saying as opposed to how they looked while continuing on with their argument. And, quite possibly, that may have been where my mistake was made. 'Cause only a few sentences in and I was feeling my blood start to boil with anger.

"You took advantage of her!" Edward accused for probably the millionth time. "She would've never gotten with you on her own terms!"

Oh, Edward. How wrong you are. *Insert sarcasm and eye roll here* And, you always say that I'm the naive one.

"Obviously, then, you don't know her as well as you think you do," Jacob spat back.

Ain't that the truth?

"Like you'd know any better!"

Ooo...shit just got real!

Bad move, Edward.

Never, ever say something bad that's related to me to Jacob.

It's just a big no, no.

The proof is in the way Jacob is now shaking like he's about to phase.

Seriously, Edward, are you really trying to make Jacob phase right now?!

Maybe I should step in before Jacob breaks the no physical contact rule? It'd probably be wise. But, then again...maybe I should wait. Although, then it might be too late. Damn! Decisions, decisions.

And, then he hit below the belt with what he said next, no pun intended, because he knew he had no other way to even come close to winning this argument.

Except this time, I was the one who got the most angry about what he said.

"You know she only chose you for the sex! What other than that do you have to offer her, anyways?!"

"Oh shit!" I heard both Embry and Quil exclaim, on either side of me.

But, I didn't pay much attention because I was seeing red. I quickly moved from my spot between them and angrily marched forward, not stopping until I was practically in between them. I turned towards Edward and took Jacob's previous place, all up in his face.

"How dare you?!" I hissed through clenched teeth, balling my own fists at my side.

"That's all this is really about, isn't it?" Edward asked me, as if he hadn't heard anything that I'd said to him the day before or earlier that day. "I wouldn't have sex with you, so you went and found someone who would!" he accused.

How fucking dare he say that to me?! So, what now he's implying that I'm some sort of sex crazed cheating whore?! I mean, despite the fact that it kind of is the truth...in a way...but, still! He had absolutely no fucking right to talk to me this way. Seriously, how fucking dare he?!

"Not that it's any of your damn business!" I hissed at him. "But, it wasn't just sex!" I informed him. "Sex  _was_  and  _is_  just an amazing bonus!"

Edward opened his mouth to say something else, but I refused to let him.

I continued ranting, "I love him! Actually, correction, I'm ** _in love_  **with him! That's why! I always have! I was just too blinded and dumb not to realize it sooner. But, thankfully, after the ups and downs of this past month, I finally woke the hell up and realized that I stupidly let my empathy be my guide the whole entire time I was with you."

I wasn't leaving anything out.

"And, you're just going to have to grow up, act your damn age, and deal with it!" I spat at him. "Wait, scratch that. If you acted your real age you'd be completely dead," I corrected myself. "So, instead, you're just going to have to grow up and act more mature about everything!"

There, I said everything I had to say.

No wait!

"Oh, and one more thing...you need to wake up and realize that this is the 21st century! Not the 20th! Therefore, just because I'm a girl, it doesn't mean that I can't control myself and make my own decisions. I am just as entitled to certain things as guys are and I refuse to sit back and say nothing about your 20th century bullshit!"

Alright, there. Now I really said everything that I needed to say.

It felt like a weight was now lifted completely off my shoulders. And, I felt lighter and calmer, even though moments before I was livid.

"Ooo, burn!" I suddenly heard an unmistakable voice say followed by tandem laughs from both him and Rose. "Seems like we missed a lot?"

I turned my head, and smiled as best I could, to look at him. "You could say that," I answered, nodding my head.

"Don't worry, Bella," Rosalie assured me. "You won't have to deal with Edward for a few weeks after today."

Edward apparently read Rosalie's mind because his head snapped around quickly. "I'm not going!" he hissed. "Not when things are like they are here."

Rosalie rolled her eyes and shook her head. "I've already talked to Carlisle," she informed him. "You're going whether you want to or not."

"Going where?" I asked, confused.

"Back to Denali," Rosalie answered with a smile.

I sighed a sigh of relief and thanked the heavens.

Oh, thank you, God!

Better yet, I'd have to find the time to go by the hospital and personally thank Carlisle for giving Edward no say in whether he stays here or goes.

"Let's go, Edward. You have some packing to do," Emmett grinned, booming with laughter.

I had to bite my tongue not to laugh, too.

"I'm not go..." Edward started to protest, continuing on with his childish act.

Emmett shook his head, and walked over to Edward. "If you keep acting like a child, I'm going to be left with no choice, but to pick you up and carry you over my shoulder."

There was definitely no way not to laugh at that.

Everyone, other than Edward who looked angry and Emmett who was trying to remain serious, laughed at Emmett's threat. Especially, when knowing that if need be, he really would carry out said threat.

"You know he'll do just that," Rosalie pointed out.

Emmett nodded his head, and agreed, "I will."

"So, just get in your car, go home, pack, and don't miss your flight," Rosalie ordered.

Edward opened his mouth to protest, but after a glare from Emmett, closed his mouth, turned, and angrily made his way to his car, getting in, and speeding off.

"Thank you both so much," I immediately thanked both Rosalie and Emmett.

"Anytime, Bella," they both smiled at me.

"You can always call me if you ever need me," Rosalie told me, sincerely.

I nodded and smiled at her. "I will definitely continue to keep that in mind," I told her.

"Good. Alright, well, we should be going. We want to make sure that Edward does make his flight on time."

"Okay."

After a quick, simple hug from them both, they turned away and ran off into the woods.

"Well, that was extremely eventful," I sighed, turning around to face the now three very amused boys, if they can even be called that anymore, behind me.

"As much as I would have loved to punch his face in," Jacob started to say.

I raised an eyebrow at him.

"I'm sure you would've wanted to do the same thing if you were me," he said, giving me the same look right back.

Well, he did have a point.

"Yeah, okay," I relented.

"It still turned out pretty awesome," Embry and Quil both chimed in finishing Jacob's thought for him.

Jacob and I both nodded in agreement.

"Well, sadly, I probably really won't be seeing or talking to you for a while," I sighed, as reality set in, and I realized that I had to go home now and face Charlie.

"Call me before you go in and face Charlie," Jacob said, walking up to me.

I nodded. "I'll have to because he'll probably force me to hand the phone over, too," I sighed.

I really hoped I was wrong about that one.

"Alright, well, I don't want to wait any longer. Every second that passes is probably another percentage of anger added to his anger already towards me."

"Well, good luck," Jacob smiled down at me.

"Thanks," I smiled back, leaning up on my tip-toes and pressing my lips to his.

I rolled my eyes and pulled away when I heard wolf whistles coming from Embry and Quil.

"Bye, boys," I waved at them as I got into my truck and drove home to face Charlie's wrath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, there it is!
> 
> I don't think it's the best it could have been, but I don't think it's the worst either. I kind of took a comical, yet also serious approach to the argument...since not every argument has to be seen as completely serious. Plus, with Embry and Quil there they always seem to make everything into something funny.
> 
> Also, not to be the bearer of bad news or anything...but, the story is coming to an end really soon. Like, I don't know say...brace yourselves...next chapter. But, fear not...there is definitely going to be a sequel!


	27. Chapter 26 - I'm such a hot mess with you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sniffles! Well, here it is everyone! The very last chapter of Hot Mess. This is so sad...because it's been my baby for a while now. But, like I said before...there is going to be a sequel. I hope to have it up as soon as possible!
> 
> So, this chapter is pretty straight forward and to the point because, I'll admit, my expertise on what I wrote in this chapter isn't the best 'cause I've never been in this situation before, so...yeah.
> 
> Anyways, I hope you all enjoy the final chapter...and hopefully, don't hate me for the ending. *runs and hides somewhere that no one would ever think to look for me*
> 
> Warning: No sexual content, but possible cursing. Turn back now if you think/know it'll offend you in some way.
> 
> Disclaimer: I own nothing associated with Twilight. I only own the plot and my own pervyness. lol!

When I got home, I made a quick call to Jacob to let him know I was home like I told him that I would. Once again, he wished me luck. I told him I'd call him again the first chance I got. My fingers were crossed that that would be sooner rather than later. But, there was no telling just yet.

I stayed outside in my truck for a while before I finally got up the courage to go inside and face Charlie. After all, I couldn't stay outside in my truck forever. Not that I wouldn't have just loved that. But, I couldn't. Either I went in or he'd probably come out and drag me in. Well, okay, that's over exaggerating, but still.

At first, Charlie was exactly as angry, if not more, as I thought he would be. But, once I explained that I had to leave to keep Jacob and Edward from fighting, to the grave, although I kept that part to myself, Charlie calmed down a bit. He understood bits and pieces of what had gone on, not much, but just enough to know why I left when, and as abruptly, as I did and why. It was just enough to get me out of an even deeper dog house, no pun intended.

But, of course, that didn't stop Charlie from buckling down harder on me. My punishment was still the same, except for the fact that now nobody, period, would be able to come to the house. If by chance they did, then Charlie made it perfectly clear that he'd turn them away. Not that I was complaining. Even at that, the only one who would show up unannounced was probably on his way to Denali now! Thank god!

In the end, my stronger punishment turned out to be a good thing...and also a pretty bad thing.

But, that's what sneaking people through my window is for.

Hmm...I finally found a better use for it.

**~HM~**

A few days later, my life was taking another nose dive into hell.

Actually, it had been ever since I woke up the morning after the almost fight between Jacob and Edward. But, I didn't really think anything of my own personal hell that morning. I just figured it was a regular sickness or something. But, one day turned into another, which turned into another, and I was still sick.

After everything that had happened in the past month, I was exhausted. Oh, yeah, and did I mention sick already? Yep, that's right, I was freaking sick! After everything had finally seemed to settle down, I ended up sick. Of course, I just brushed it off as my body releasing the left over stress from everything that had happened...the ups and downs, the bad and the good...yeah, all that stuff.

It wasn't until Charlie brought the dreaded  ** _it_**  up that I even thought for a second that it could be something else other than stress. After yet another, three am puking session with Charlie there holding my hair back for me, what a great dad, right? Anyways, after all that, he tucked me back into bed after I cleaned myself up.

Then, of all people...Charlie...my own dad...brought it up and to my attention.

"You don't think you're..." he trailed off. Then, finished his question moments later. "Pregnant do you?" he asked sitting down on the edge of my bed, where I'd been laid out for literally just about 40 or so hours, next to me.

My eyes practically bugged out of my head at his question, and I suddenly wished Freddy Kruger would come out of my mattress and drag me in. "What?! No! Why would you..." I paused because I was in so much shock that he actually asked me that. "What the heck dad?!"

Charlie put his hands up in mock surrender and scooted down the bed a bit. "I was just..." he trailed off obviously trying to think of what to say and how to put it. "I mean, I know you and Jacob..."

No! Oh, god! This can't actually be happening right now! Can it?!

God, just kill me now!

"Oh my god, dad! Stop! Stop it right now! Just stop it! Ah! Stop it!" I exclaimed cutting him off in an instant. "And, no it's not that," I assured him. "Not that it's really any of your business...but, we really were safe every time."

Right? Yeah, we were always safe. Every. Single. Time. Yeah, definitely. I'm sure. Think, Bella, think. Yeah we were...Oh my god! Oh no! God, no!

We both sat there in dead silence for an awkward minute or two before Charlie finally stood up.

"Alright, well...umm..."

He walked over to the door.

"Just yell if you need my help again or anything else," he said before walking out, closing the door, leaving just a crack so that he'd hear if I called for him.

After Charlie left the room, I jumped out of bed and ran over to my desk where my calendar was. I looked it over...not once, not twice, but three times...and each time came up with the same conclusion...

I was seven going on eight days late.

And, not only that, but so many signs from the past week or so has pointed to the dreaded "P" word.

I was a sobbing mess upon realizing that.

God, please let this all be a mistake! I'm too young to have kids! I haven't even graduated yet! Oh, god! Am I going to join the statistics?! Please, let this just be a stress related late period! Please, oh, please God!

I couldn't believe that this was actually happen.

It was only one time! How the hell is one time without a condom...oh, right. It's probably his stupid wolfish sperm or something. Damn it! Seriously, just kill me now! Please, do! Put me out of my freaking misery!

I freaking swear I'm not having sex again for a very long time no matter if I really am pregnant or not. Consider this possible pregnancy scare my new birth control for a while. Oh, it was definitely my new birth control. I don't give a damn what Jacob says. No more sex for us for a while. I'm putting my foot down.

Needless to say, I didn't get any sleep at all that night because I was back into the bathroom crying and getting sick for God only knows how many hours after that.

This time I knew without a single doubt that the cause of me getting sick again was stress.

**~HM~**

Later that morning, after I heard Charlie leave for work, I frantically jumped out of bed, grabbing my cell phone along the way, pacing back and forth in the middle of my bedroom. I dialed the number of the one person that I knew without a doubt I could ask and depend on for help in my current situation, no matter if I did turn out pregnant or not.

She answered on the second ring.

By then, tears were pouring out of my eyes and I couldn't find it in me to say anything at all.

Not that I needed to.

She heard me crying, apparently.

"I'm on way," she said quickly before hanging up.

I hung up and sat down on my bed, playing with my phone in my lap, twirling it around and all that, anything to keep my mind off of the possible troubles I could be facing for the next nine months or so.

I'm not sure if it made me seem like a bad person to hope and pray that this was all just a terrible mix up, but I really did. I was too young to be a mother. I had yet to even graduate high school. I didn't want to be added to the teen pregnancy statistics. I mean, it's not like it's in my hands anymore. But, still, I could hope and pray, right?

And, if I did get a second chance...by that I mean, me turning out not to be pregnant, then I would definitely be making some changes. As much as the sex is good and all, I wouldn't be having any more for a while. I'd also be getting on birth control, just in case, for extra precautions.

Damn it! Why the hell didn't I think of all this before when it all started?! Oh, god! Too late to think about that now, though.

**~HM~**

When Rosalie arrived, I was back to pacing nervously and anxiously, back and forth, in the middle of my bedroom. I'm surprised I hadn't worn a hole in the floor yet. Surely, I was getting close to doing just that. Especially, if I kept up this nonstop, over and over again, back and forth pacing.

"What's wrong, Bella?" Rosalie asked, suddenly appearing in my bedroom.

I wasn't sure if she used the front door or my window, but quite frankly I couldn't bring myself to care. All that mattered was that she was here now, and I could confide in her about my fears.

"I...I think...I think I might...might be..." I tried to say, but that last word kept getting stuck on my tongue. I couldn't bring myself to say that word.

"Might be what, Bella?" Rosalie asked, confused and curious.

"I...I..." I just couldn't get the words out.

Oh, damn. Just say it Bella. Or show her. Yeah, maybe that'll work.

"I think I might be," I said quickly and then pointed at my stomach.

Please, let her know what I mean.

She looked down to where I was pointing and then back up to me.

"Pregnant?" she asked as realization dawned on her.

I nodded my head. "I'm going on eight days late," I told her, the tears making their way back to the surface.

"Weren't you two safe?" she asked curiously.

I nodded. "Every time..." I trailed off. Alright, well, that's a lie. Otherwise I wouldn't be in this situation right now. "Except that one time."

"Which one was that?"

I bit my lower lip and looked down at the ground. "The time you caught us," I answered quietly. "We did it twice. The first time we used a condom, but the second time..." I trailed off, wiping furiously at my eyes. "Well...I'm late, so obviously..."

Rosalie nodded her head in understanding. "Alright, well, there's no need to freak out completely just yet," she assured me.

"How isn't there?" I asked, looking up at her, confused.

"Have you taken a test yet?" she questioned me.

I shook my head no. "I'm afraid to," I admitted.

Rosalie sighed an unnecessary sigh. "Well, you need to get unafraid," she told me, putting her hands on my shoulders. "And, then just to be sure you need to go to the doctor's for the truth...no matter if the test says positive or negative," she continued. "They don't always tell the truth," she shrugged her shoulders as she said matter-of-factly.

I took a deep breath, and nodded. "Okay."

"Alright, now let's go buy a few tests and find out what we're dealing with," she said. "Get dressed and I'll wait for you downstairs."

"Thanks for being here for me, Rosalie."

"Of course," she said before leaving the room and going downstairs.

I quickly got dressed and went downstairs before I could convince myself to let fear take over and crawl back into bed and never come back out, like I so badly wanted to.

**~HM~**

Later that day, the results were inconclusive. Rosalie and I bought three different pregnancy tests. The results were on positive, which freaked me out so much that I ended up getting sick again. But, then the other two were negative, which made me feel better. At the same time, though, I was even more on edge because I had no idea which one was the right one. Of course, I would be the one unlucky enough to have this happen to me.

I blame Jacob. Apparently, his wolfish sperm is confusing my body as well as the tests. I mean, what else could it be? Unless, it really is stress making me sick like this and I just so happened to buy a bad pregnancy test. My fingers are definitely crossed for the latter. Please, oh please be a mistaken false positive.

After the test results, upon Rosalie's urging, I called my doctor to set up an appointment to find out for sure if I was or wasn't pregnant. Then, after the appointment was set for the upcoming Monday in the morning, I debated whether to tell Jacob or not. I mean, I didn't know for sure if I was or not, so would it be worth freaking him out also?

But, then again, even if I wasn't pregnant in the end, I think he'd like to know about it. He might not be so happy with me if I didn't tell him. So, when it came down to making the decision, I called him and asked him to come over. He had the right to know about the possibilities. And, I knew he wouldn't ever want me to go through this alone.

Rosalie stayed with me until Jacob arrived.

"Good luck," she said, giving me a hug before leaving.

"Everything okay, Bells?" Jacob asked me, noticing my red eyes from all the crying I'd done.

"I don't know," I answered, honestly walking into the living room and sitting down on the couch.

"Bella," Jacob said, concerned, walking over and sitting down next to me. "Are you really okay?"

I shook my head, and the tears started falling again. "No, not really," I answered, honestly, swallowing the lump in my throat.

"What's wrong?" he asked, pulling me closer to him.

I looked up at him with tears in my eyes. "I think I might be...umm..." I trailed off, yet again not sure if I could get that one word out.

"Might be what?" he looked down at me curiously and concerned.

"Pregnant," I whispered, looking down at the floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And, there you have it! The very shocking, somewhat expected, but also at the same time unexpected ending! Hehe! I know, I'm evil for ending it there. But, that's what the sequel is going to be for! I'm not sure when it'll be up. But, I'm going to try to write some of it and post it very soon!
> 
> So, until then, you can all wonder if Bella is really pregnant or not. Is Bella really pregnant? Or is it in fact stress causing it all? Hmm...oh, the possibilities. Just keep in mind, though, while wondering...not everything is exactly what it seems. ;)
> 
> I'll be sure to update this with a A/N stating that I've posted the sequel when I do. So, be on the look out.
> 
> But, in the mean time, if you want to and haven't already you can check out my other stories while you wait. I'll be working on them in the mean time while I talk my muse into letting me start the sequel!
> 
> And, I'll see you all later on with the sequel! :D


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